PROLOGUE

 

 

 

Where war and wrack and wonder

By sides have been therein,

And oft both bliss and blunder

Full swift have shifted since.

 

Prologue

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

 

 

The pilgrims looked at the sky and the woods and each other. Anywhere but at the woman in the ditch. The Free Companies ruled these forests; her screeching might draw unwelcome attention. As she rolled in the wagon rut, grinding dirt into her hair, crying out pious revelations with shrieks and great weepings, her companions leaned against trees and squatted in the shade, sharing a vessel of warm beer.

Remote thunder murmured as heat clouds piled up over the endless grim forests of France. It was high summer of the ninth year after the Great Pestilence. A few yards from the sobbing female, on the high grassy center of the road, a priest sat removing his sandals and swatting dust off his soles one by one.

Now and then someone glanced into the dark woods. The girl had prophesied that their party of English pilgrims would reach Avignon safe—and though she was prostrated by holy ecstasies in this manner a dozen times a day, moved by the turn of a leaf or the flicker of a sunbeam to fall to her knees in wailing, it was true that they’d not seen or heard a suspicion of outlaws since she’d joined the party at Reims.

"John Hardy!" she moaned, and a man who’d just taken hold of the bottle looked round with dismay.

He drank a deep swig and said, "Ne sermon me not, good sister."

The woman sat up. "I shall so sermon thee, John Hardy!" She wiped at her comely young face, her bright eyes glaring out from amid streaks of dirt. "Thou art intemperate with beer. God is offended with thee."

John Hardy stood up, taking another long drink. "And thou art a silly girl stuffed with silly conceits. What—"

A crash of thunder and a long shrill scream overwhelmed his words. The devout damsel threw herself back down to the ground. "There!" she shouted. "Hearest thou the voice of God? I’m a prophet! Our Lord forewarneth thee—take any drink but pure water in peril of eternal damnation, John Hardy!" The rain clouds rolled low overhead, casting a green dullness on her face. She startled back as a single raindrop struck her. "His blood!" She kissed her palm. "His precious blood!"

"Be naught but the storm overtakin’ us, thou great fool woman!" John Hardy swung on the others with vehemence. "’I’m a prophet!’" he mocked in a high agitated voice. "Belie me if she be not a heretic in our very midst! I’m on to shelter, ere I’m drowned. Who’ll be with me?"

The whole company was fervently with him. As they prepared to start on their way, the girl bawled out the sins of each member of the party as they were revealed to her by God: the intemperance of John Hardy, the godless laughing and jesting of Mistress Parke, the carnal lusting of the priest, and the meat on Friday consumed by Thomas O’Linc.

The accused ignored her, taking up the long liripipes that dangled from the crests of their hoods and wrapping the headgear tight as the rain began to fall in earnest. The party moved on into the sudden downpour. The woman could have caught up easily, but she stayed in the ditch, shrieking after them.

In the thunderous gloom the rain began to run in sheets and little streams into the road. She stayed crying, reaching out her hands to the empty track. The last gray outline of the stragglers disappeared around the bend.

A waiting figure detached itself from the shadows beneath the trees. The young knight walked to the edge of the rut and held out his hand. Rain plastered his black hair and molded a fustian pilgrim’s robe to his back and shoulders, showing chain mail beneath.

"They ne harketh to me," she sobbed. "They taken no heed!"

"Ye drove them off, Isabelle," he said tonelessly.

"It is their wickedness! They nill heed me! I was having a vision, like to Saint Gertrude’s."

His gauntleted hand still held steady, glistening with raindrops. "Is it full finished now?"

"Certes, it is finished," she said testily, allowing him to pull her to her feet. She stepped out of the ditch, leaving her shoe. The knight got down on his knees, his mail chinking faintly, and fished the soggy leather out of a puddle already growing in the mud. She leaned on his shoulder and thrust her foot inside the slipper, wriggling forcefully. He smoothed the wet wrinkles up her ankle. His hand rested on her calf for a moment, and she snatched her leg away. "None of that, sir!"

He lifted his face and looked at her. The rain slipped off strong dark brows and dewed on his black lashes. He was seventeen, and already carried fighting scars, but none visible on his upturned features. Water coursed down, outlining his hard mouth and the sullen cast of his green eyes. The girl pushed away from him sharply.

"I believe thou art Satan Himself, sir, if thou wilt stare at me so vile."

Without a word he got to his feet, readjusting the sword at his hip before he walked away to a bay horse tethered in the shadow of the trees. He brought the stallion up to her. "Will ye ride?"

"The Lord Jesus commanded me walk to Jerusalem." 

"Ride," he said "until we comen up with the company once more."

"It were evil for me to riden. I mote walk."

"This forest hides evil enow," he said harshly. "N’would I haf us tarry alone here."

"’Fear not, in the valley of shadow and death,’" she intoned, catching his hand. She fell to the sodden ground, her wet robe clinging to the feminine contour of her breasts. "Kneel with me. I see the Virgin. Her light shineth all about us. Oh...the sweet heavenly light!" She closed her eyes, turning up her face. Her tears began to mingle with the raindrops.

"Isabelle!" he cried. "Ne cannought we linger here alone! For God’s love—move freshly now!" He grabbed her arm and pulled her up. By main force he threw her across the saddle in spite of her struggle. She began to screech, her wet legs bared, sliding from his mailed grip. The horse shied, and she tumbled off the other side. He jerked the reins, barely holding the stallion back from trampling her as it tried to bolt.

She lay limp in the grass. As he dropped to his knees beside her, she rolled feebly onto her back, moaning.

"Lady!" He leaned over her. "Isabelle, luflych—ye be nought harmed?"

She opened her eyes, staring past him. "So sweet. So wondrous sweet, the light."

Rain washed the mud from her face. Her fair blue eyes held a dreamy look, her lashes spiky with wetness, her lips smiling faintly. The pilgrim’s hood had fallen open, showing a white, smooth curve of throat. He hung motionless above her a moment, looking down.

Her gaze snapped to his. She shoved at him and scrambled away. "Thou thinkest deadly sin! My love is for the Lord God alone."

The young knight flung himself to his feet. He caught his horse with one hand and the girl with the other, dragging them together. "Mount!" he commanded, baring his teeth with a savagery that cowed her into grasping the stirrup.

"I n’will," she said, trying to turn away.

"Will ye or nill ye!" He hiked her foot, catching her off balance, and propelled her up. She yelped, landing pillion in the high-cantled war saddle, clutching for security as he swung the wild-eyed horse around. The stallion followed him, neck stretched, the black mane lying in sloppy thick straggles against the animal’s skin. The knight hauled his horse a few yards down the verge through the wet grass and mud. He stopped, facing stiffly away from her into the rain. "I am nought Satan Himseluen," he said. "I’m your wedded husband, Isabelle!"

"I am wed to Christ," she said righteously. "And oft revealed the truth to thee, sir. Thou hast thy way with me against my will and God’s."

He stood still, looking straight ahead. "Six month," he said stonily. "My true wife ye hatz n’been in that time."

Her voice softened a little. "To use me so were the death of thee, husband—so I’ve prophesied, oft and oft."

He slogged forward. The horse slipped and splashed through a puddle, sending water up, causing the knight’s fustian robe to cling over the plated greaves and cuisses that protected his legs. The rain swelled into huge drops. Hail began to spatter against his shoulders, bouncing in pea-size pebbles off his bared black hair.

He made an inarticulate sound and dragged the stallion to the edge of the wood, stopping beneath a massive tree. Isabelle and the horse took up the protected space beneath the heaviest branch, leaving him with the filter of sodden leaves above to break the hail.

She began an exhortation on the sins of the flesh and detailed a vision of Hell recently visited upon her. From this she went on to a revelation of Jesus on the Cross, which, she assured him, God had told her was superior in its brilliance to the similar sight described by Brigit of Sweden. When a hailstone the size of a walnut cracked him on the skull, he cursed aloud and yanked his helmet from the saddle.

Isabelle reproved him for his impious language. He pulled the conical bascinet down over his head. The visor fell shut. He leaned against the tree trunk with a dismal clang: a faceless, motionless, wordless suit of armor, while his wife told a parable of her own devising in which a man who used ungodly maledictions was condemned to dwell in Hell with fiery rats forever eating out his tongue. The music of the hailstones pattered in tinny uneven notes on steel.

She had finished the parable and gone on to predicting what sort of vermin they might expect to find among the infidels when the storm began to lift, leaving the forest and the grassy verge steaming in greens and grays. Light shone on the watery ruts in two twisted ribbons of silver. Like a frost of snow, hail lay amid the foliage, already beginning to melt. The knight pulled off his helmet and tried unsuccessfully to dry it on his robe. Without speaking, he pushed away from the tree and began to walk again, tugging the horse through small lakes beside the road, his spurs catching in the muddy weeds.

Vapor rose from his shoulders. Isabelle plucked at her sodden robe, holding it away from her skin as she talked. She was describing the present state of her soul, in considerable detail, when he stopped suddenly and turned to her.

A breaking shaft of sunlight caught him, banishing the sullen shadows. He looked up at her, young and earnest, interrupting her eloquence. "Isabelle. Say me this." He paused, staring at her intensely. "If outlaws were to fall upon us this moment, and ransom my life against—" The youthfulness vanished from his face in a set scowl. "Against this—that ye takes me again into your bed as husband—then what would you? Would ye see me slayed?"

Her lips pinched. "What vain tale is this?"

"Say the truth of your heart," he insisted. "My life for your vaunted chastity. What best to be done?"

She glared at him. "Thou art a sinner, Ruck."

"The truth!" he shouted passionately. "Have ye no love left for me?"

His words echoed back from the forest, enticement enough to outlaws, but he stood waiting, rigid, with his hand on the bridle.

She began to sway slightly. She lifted her eyes to the glowing clouds. "Alas," she said gently, "but I love thee so steadfast, husband—it were better to beholden thee put to death before my eyes, than we should yielden again to that uncleanness in the eyes of God."

His gaze did not leave her. He stared at her, unblinking, his body still as stone.

She smiled at him and reached down to touch his hand. "Revelation will come to thee."

He caught her fingers and gripped them in his, holding them hard in his armored glove. "Isabelle," he said, in a voice like ruin.

With her free hand she crossed herself. "Let us make troth of chastity both together. Thee I do love dearly, as a mother loveth her son."

He let go of her. For a moment he looked about him in a bewildered way, as if he could not think what to do. Then, abruptly, he began to walk again, pulling the horse in silence.

A cool wind out of the storm caught the knight’s dark hair, drying it, blowing it against his ears. The breeze faltered for a moment, playing and veering.

The horse threw up its head. Its nostrils flared.

The knight came alert. He stopped, his hand on his sword hilt. The animal planted its feet, drinking frantically at the uneasy wind, staring at the curve ahead where the road disappeared into deep woods.

There was only silence, and the breeze.

"The Lord God is with us," Isabelle said loudly.

Nothing answered. No arrow flew, no foe came rushing upon them from ambush.

"Get ye after the hind-bow." The knight shoved his helmet down on his head and threw the reins over the horse’s ears. As Isabelle floundered out of his way over the cantle, he mounted. She flung her arms about his waist. With his sword drawn he drove his spurs into the nervous stallion, sending it into a sprint with a war cry that resounded in volleys from the trees. The horse cannoned along the road with water flying from its hooves, sweeping round the curve at the howling height of the knight’s battle shout.

The sight that met them was no more than a flicker of red mud and slaughter as the horse cleared the first body in a great leap. The animal tried to bolt, but the knight dragged it to a dancing halt amid the stillness.

He said nothing, turning and turning the horse in an agitated circle. The butchered bodies of their former companions wheeled past beneath his gaze, around and around, white dead faces and crimson that ran fresher than the rain.

Isabelle clung to him. "God spared us," she said, with a breathless tone. "Swear now, before Jesus Our Saviour, that thou wilt liven chaste!"

He reined the horse hastily among the bodies, leaning down to look for signs of life as the animal pranced in uneasy rhythm, its hooves squelching wet grass and gore. The looters had done thorough work. "God’s blood—they been slain but a moment." His voice was tight as he scanned the dark encroaching forest. "The brigands be scarce flown." He turned the stallion away, but at the edge of the clearing he doubled the horse back on the grisly scene again, as if he had not looked upon it long enough to believe.

"Unshriven they died," Isabelle whispered, and murmured a prayer. She had never let go of her grip on his arm, not even to cross herself. "Swear thee now, in thanks for God’s mercy and deliverance—thou wilt be chaste evermore."

He was breathing hard, pushing air through his teeth as he looked at what was left of Mistress Parke.

"I swear," he said.

He yanked the horse around and spurred it away down the road in a gallop for their lives.

 

* * *

 

Avignon intimidated and disgusted him. In the murky, baking streets below the palace of the Pope, he stood stoically as Isabelle prayed aloud before a splinter of the True Cross. Behind her back a whore with bad skin beckoned to him, striking licentious poses in the doorway, folding her hands in mockery, running her tongue about her dark lips while Isabelle knelt weeping in the unswept dirt. His wife had barely warmed to her devotions, he knew from experience, when the toothless purveyor of the holy relic grew impatient and demanded in crudely descriptive English that she buy it or take herself off. The whore laughed at Isabelle’s look of shock; Ruck scowled back and put his hand on his wife’s shoulder more gently than he might have.

"Bide ye nought with these hypocrites," he said. "Come."

She stumbled to her feet and stayed near him, uncharacteristically quiet as they made their way through the crowds.

The shadow of the palace fell over them, a massive wall rising sheer above the narrow cobbled street, pocked with arrow slits styled in the shapes of crosses, the fortifications crowned by defensive crenels. Isabelle’s body pressed against him. He put his arm about her, shoving back at a stout friar who tried to elbow her aside in passing.

She felt cool and soft under his hand. He was blistering hot in his chain mail and fustian, but dared not leave the armor off and untended as they moved from shrine to shrine, kissing saints’ bones and kneeling before images of the Virgin, with Isabelle’s tears and cries echoing around the sepulchers. Now this new shrinking, her snugging against him, fitting into the circle of his arm as she’d been used to do made piety even more difficult to maintain.

He tried to subdue his lustful thoughts. He prayed as they joined the stream of supplicants forging up the slope to the palace gate, but he was not such a hand at it as Isabelle. She’d always been a chatterer—it was her voice that had first caught his attention in the Coventry market, a pretty voice and a pretty burgher’s daughter, with a giddy laugh and a smile that made his knees weak—he’d felt amazed to win her with nothing to offer but the plans and dreams he lived on as if they were meat and bread.

But there had been only a few sweet weeks of kissing and bedding, with Isabelle as loving and eager for it as himself, before the king’s army had called him to France. When he’d come back, knighted on the field at Poitiers, full of the future, triumphant and appalled and eager to bury himself and the bloodshed in the clean tender arms of his wife—he’d come back, and found that God had turned her dizzy prattle into prophecy.

For a sevennight he’d had his way with her, in spite of the weeping, in spite of the praying and begging, in spite of the scolds, but when she’d taken to screaming, he’d found it more than he could endure. He’d thought he ought to beat her; that was her father’s advice, and sure it was that Ruck would gladly beat her or mayhap even strangle her when she was in the full flow of pious exhortations—but instead she’d beseeched him to take her on pilgrimage across the heap of war-torn ruins that was France. And here he was, not certain if it was God’s will or a girl’s, certain only that his heart was full of lechery and his body seethed with need.

They entered the palace through an arch beneath two great conical towers, passing under them to an immense courtyard, larger than any castle he’d ever seen, teeming with beggars and clergy and hooded travelers. The clerics and finer folk seemed to know where to go; the plain pilgrims like themselves wandered with aimless bafflement, or joined a procession that ran twice around the perimeter and ended at a knot of priests and clerks.

Isabelle began to tremble in his arms. He felt her bones dissolve; she sank from his grip to the pavement, with a hundred pairs of feet scuffing busily past. As her wail rose above the noise, people began to pause.

Ruck was growing inured to it. He even began to see the advantages—not a quarter hour elapsed before they had a church official escorting them past the more mundane supplicants and into a great columned and vaulted chamber full of people.

The echoing roar of discourse stopped his ears. The ceiling arched above, studded with brilliant golden stars on a blue field and painted with figures bearing scrolls. He recognized Saint John and the Twenty Prophets. His eyes kept sliding upward, drawn by the gilded radiance, the vivid color—abruptly the clerk pushed him, and he collapsed onto a bench. Isabelle looked back over her shoulder at him with her hand outstretched and her mouth open as she and her escort were engulfed by the crowd.

"Isabelle!" Ruck jumped to his feet. He shoved after them. She had been named heretic for her sermoning more than once. He had to stay near her, explain her to the wary and suspicious. He floundered into a clearing and found himself in the midst of a circle of priests in rich vestments. The robed and tonsured scribe looked up from the lectern with a scowl, the plaintiff ceased his petition and turned, still kneeling before the podium.

Ruck backed out of the gathered court, bowing hastily. He turned and strained to his full height, a head taller than most, looking out over the massed assembly, but Isabelle was gone. A guard stopped him at a side door and pretended not to understand Ruck’s French, gesturing insolently at the benches. He glared back, repeating himself, raising his voice to a shout. The guard made an obscene gesture with his finger and jerked his chin again toward the benches.

A shimmer of color sparkled at the corner of Ruck’s eye. He turned his head reflexively, as if a mirror had flashed. Space had opened around him. At the edge of it, two spears’ length distant, a lady paused.

She glanced at him and the guard as she might glance at mongrels scrapping. A princess—mayhap a queen, from the richness of her dress and jewels—surrounded by her attendants, male and female, secluded amid the crowd like a glitter of silent prismatic light among shadows.

Cold...and as her look skimmed past him, his whole body caught ice and fire.

He dropped to one knee, bowing his head. When he lifted it, the open space had closed, but still he could see her within the radius of her courtiers. They appeared to be waiting, like everyone else, conversing among themselves. One of the men gave Ruck a brief scornful lift of his brow and turned his shoulder eloquently.

Ruck came to a sense of himself. He sat down on the bench by the guard. But he could not keep his gaze away from her. At first he tried, examining the pillars and carved animals, the other pilgrims, a passing priest, in between surreptitious glances at her, but none in her party looked his way again. Concealed among the throng and the figures passing in and out the door, he allowed himself to stare.

She carried a hooded white falcon, as indifferently as if the Pope’s hall had been a hunting field. Her throat and shoulders gleamed pale against a jade gown fashioned like naught he’d seen in his life—cut low, hugging her waist and hips without a concealing cotehardi, embroidered down to her hem with silver dragonflies, each one with a pair of jeweled emerald eyes, so that the folds sparkled with her every move. A dagger hung on her girdle, smooth ivory crusted with malachite and rubies. Lavish silver liripipes, worked in a green and silver emblem that he didn’t recognize, draped from her elbows to the floor. Green ribbons with the same emblem laced her braids, lying against hair as black as the black heavens, coiled smooth as a devil’s coronet.

He watched her hands, because he could not bear to look long at her face and did not dare to scan her body for its violent effect on his. The gauntlet and the falcon’s hood, bejeweled like all the rest of her, glittered with emeralds on silver. She stroked the bird’s breast with white fingers, and from four rods away that steady, gentle caress made him bleed as if from a mortal wound in his chest.

She turned to someone, lifting her finger to hold back the gauzy green veil that fell from her crown of braids to her shoulder—a feminine gesture, a delicacy that commanded and judged and condemned him to an agony of desire. He could not tear his look from her hand as it hovered near her lips: he saw her slight smile for her ladies—so cold, cold...she was bright cold; he was ferment. He couldn’t comprehend her face. He hardly knew if she was comely or unremarkable. He could not at that moment have described her features, any more than he could have looked straight at the sun to describe it.

"Husband!" Isabelle’s voice shocked him. She was there; she caught his hand, falling on her knees beside the bench. "The bishop speaketh with me on the morrow, to hearen my confession, and discourse together as God’s servants!" Her blue eyes glowed as she clutched a pass that dangled wax seals. She smiled up at him joyfully. "I told him of thee, Ruck, that thou hast been my good and faithful protector, and he bids thee comen also before him—to confirm thy solemn vow of chastity in the name of Jesus and the Virgin Mary!"

 

* * *

 

Isabelle insisted that he leave off his armor for the interview with the bishop. Her brief timidity, her snugging against Ruck for protection, had vanished. All night she’d sat up praying, pausing only to describe in endless particular the triumph of her examination by the clerks and officials. They had heard of her—her fame had really spread so far!—and wished to prove to their own satisfaction that her visions were of God. They had questioned her fiercely, but she’d known every proper answer, and even given them back some of their own by pointing out an error in their orthodoxy concerning the testament of Saint James.

Ruck had listened with a deep uneasiness inside him. He could not imagine that those arrogant churchmen, with their bright vestments and Latin intonations, had been won over by his wife. Isabelle attracted a certain number of adherents, but they were of kindred mind to her, inclined to ecstasies and spiritual torments. He had not seen a single cleric here who gave the appearance of being any more interested in holy ecstasy than in his dinner.

He’d slept fitfully, dreaming of falcons and female bodies, waking fully aroused. For an instant he’d groped for Isabelle and then opened his eyes and seen her kneeling at the window next to a sleeping tailor. Tears coursed silently down her cheeks. She looked so radiant and anxious, her eyes lifted to the dawn sky, her hands gripped together, that he felt helpless. He wanted this bishop to give her whatever it was that she desired—sainthood, if she asked for it.

He dreaded the interview. He was afraid as he’d never been before a fight; he felt as if he were facing execution. As long as that vow had been private, between him and Isabelle, it had not seemed quite real. There was always the future; there were mitigating circumstances; he had not spoken clearly just what he swore to. She might change her mind. They were neither of them so very old yet. Women were erratic, that was known certainly enough. He ought to have beaten her. He ought to have put up with the screams and got her with a child. He ought to have told her that decent women stayed home and didn’t drag their husbands over the face of creation in pursuit of canonization. He watched her prayerful tears, his lufsom, his sweet Isabelle, and could have wept himself.

In the great audience hall he was informed he must wait, that only Isabelle was required. A hunchbacked man held out his hand, leaning on his staff, and Ruck put a coin in it. He got a mute nod in return.

All the morning he sat there, feeling naked in his leather gambeson without armor over it, swallowing down apprehension and despair. There was no way he could find out of the thing short of disavowing his own words and revealing himself a false witness in public, before a bishop of the church. Worse, he was afraid that they might trap him into it, perplex him with religious questions and turn him about like a spinning top, as Isabelle could do, until he swore whatever they wished.

Three clerks came for him. He rose and followed them through corridors and up stairs, until they entered a high, square room. His blood beat in his ears. He had an impression of silence and intense color, frescoes on all the walls and many vividly dressed people, before he followed the clerks with his head bared and lowered. He went down on his knees before the bishop without ever looking into the man’s face.

"Sire Ruadrik d’Angleterre." The modulated voice spoke in French. Soft slippers and the gold-banded hem of white and red robes were all Ruck could see. "Is it your will that your wife take the veil and the ring, to live chaste henceforth?"

Ruck stared at the slippers. The veil. He lifted his eyes as high as the bishop’s knees. Isabelle had never said anything about taking...

Was she to leave him? Go into a nunnery?

"He hath sworn." Isabelle’s ardent voice reverberated off the high walls. She spoke English, but the interpreter’s French words came like a murmured echo.

"Silence, daughter," the bishop said. "Thy husband must speak."

Ruck felt them all looking at him, a crowd of strangers at his back. He hadn’t been prepared for this. He felt as if a great hand gripped his throat.

"Do you understand me, Sire Ruadrik? Your wife desires to take the vow of chastity and retire to a life of contemplation. A placement can be made for her among the Franciscans at Saint Cloud, if her situation is your concern."

"Saint Cloud?" he repeated stupidly. He lifted his eyes to find the bishop regarding him with an inquisitive look.

"Do you understand French?" the prelate asked.

"Yea, my lord," Ruck said.

The bishop nodded in approval. "’The wife hath not the power of her own body, but the husband; likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife,’" he intoned. "As Saint Paul sayeth to the Corinthians. She must receive your consent to do this. Is it your will, my son, that your wife take these vows to be chaste?"

They were asking his permission. He could say no. He turned his head, and Isabelle was standing wringing her hands, weeping as she had in the dawn, pleading with him silently.

Isabelle. Luflych.

He imagined denying her, holding her by force—imagined saying yes and losing her forever.

She made a deep moan in her throat, as if she were dying, and held out her hands to him in supplication.

He turned his face away from her. He bent his head. "Yea, my lord," he said harshly to the slippers and the golden hem.

The bishop leaned forward. Ruck clasped his hands and put them in the holy man’s cool grasp, sealing his consent. Now he had no wife. No true wife. He didn’t know if he was married or not.

"You may rise, my son," the bishop said.

Ruck stood. He started to bow and move back, but the prelate raised his hand.

"Sire Ruadrik—do you believe this woman’s visions are given to her by God?" he asked mildly.

"Yea, my lord." Ruck knew well enough to answer that in a firm voice. Any other reply, he felt, could be twisted to mean that they were Hell-inspired.

"You follow her in her preachings on that account?"

"She is my wife," Ruck said, and then felt a flush of embarrassment rise in his face. "She was. My lord—I—could not let her go so far alone."

"You did not require her to stay modestly at home?"

He stood in shame, unable to admit that he’d found it impossible to command his own wife. "Her visions enjoin her," he said desperately. "She is God’s own servant."

His words died away into a profound silence. He felt they were laughing at him, to offer that as an excuse.

"And you have given a solemn vow of chastity to her some five weeks past, on the road from Reims?"

Ruck gazed helplessly at the bishop.

"In obedience to this woman’s visions," the bishop repeated insistently, "you lived chaste in your marriage?"

Ruck lowered his face. "Yea," he mumbled, staring at the bright floor tiles. "My lord."

"Oh, I think not," said a light female voice. "He is not chaste. Indeed, he is an adulterer."

Ruck stiffened at this astonishing accusation. "Nay, I am not—" His fierce denial died on his tongue as he turned to find the lady with the falcon standing not a rod behind him.

She strolled forward, sliding a glance at him over her shoulder while she dropped a token reverence toward the bishop. Her eyes were light, not quite perfect blue, but saturated with the lilac tinge of her dress and lined by black lashes. She seemed ageless, as young as Isabelle and as old as iniquity. The emeralds on the falcon’s hood glittered.

Ruck felt his face aflame. "I have not adultered!" he said hoarsely.

"Is not the thought as sinful as the deed, Father?" she asked, addressing the bishop but looking at Ruck, her voice clear enough for her words to resonate from the walls.

"That is true, my lady. But if you have no earthly evidence, it is a matter of absolution between a man and his confessor."

"Of course." She smiled that serene and indifferent smile, lifting her skirts, withdrawing. "I fear that I presumed too far. I wished only to spare Your Holiness the mockery of hearing a solemn vow of chastity made by such a man. He stared at me full bold yesterday in the Hall of Great Audience, causing me much uneasiness of mind."

A low sound of protest escaped Ruck’s throat. But he could not deny it. He had stared. He had committed adultery in his heart. He had desired her with an inordinate desire, a mortal passion—her eyes met his as she retired gracefully to one side—he read absolute knowledge there; she laid him bare, and she knew that he knew it.

"I am grieved to hear that you have had any cause for annoyance in the house of God, my lady," the prelate said, not sounding particularly disturbed. "Modesty in manner and dress, daughter, will temper the boldness of ungodly men toward you. But your point is well-taken with regard to the vow. Sire Ruadrik—can you swear to your purity both in thought and in deed?"

Ruck thought God Himself must be subjecting him to this mortification, holding him to a standard of truth beyond the strength of human flesh. Why else should all these great people take up their time with him? He was nobody, nothing to them.

He could not bring himself to answer, not here in front of everyone. In front of her. She might be the agent of God’s truth, but he thought no woman had ever appeared more as if she’d been sent by the Arch-Fiend to enthrall a man.

The silence lengthened, condemning him. He looked at her, and at Isabelle’s open tear-streaked face. His wife stared back at him.

Ruck closed his eyes. He shook his head no.

"Sire Ruadrik," the archbishop said heavily, "with this admission of impurity, and other considerations, the vow given to your wife must be considered invalid."

As the interpreter translated, Isabelle broke into a great wail.

"Silence!" the archbishop thundered, and even Isabelle drew in her breath in shock at the suddenness of it. In the pause he said, "You must be heard by your confessor, Sire Ruadrik. I leave your penance to him. For the other matter—" He glanced at Isabelle, who had crawled forward and lay tugging at his hem. "In the usual course, one spouse is prevented from taking such a vow of chastity, if the other does not consent to it and vow also the same. Consent alone is not sufficient, as without the consolation of a solemn commitment to live celibate and close to God, the temptations of the flesh may prove too great." He looked at Ruck. "Lacking this true commitment, you will see the wisdom in such requirement, Sire Ruadrik."

Ruck could barely hold the man’s eyes. He nodded slightly, burning all over.

The archbishop lifted his hand. "Nevertheless, this woman appears to me to be a special case. With the proper provisions, I am willing to allow that she may be attached to the convent and live in obedience to the rules of the house without her husband’s concurrent vow. After I have examined her further in the articles of the faith and found her response to be satisfactory, and the provision for her support has been received, she may be admitted to the order."

When Isabelle heard the translation of this, she kissed the archbishop’s hem and showed clear signs of working herself into an ecstasy. The archbishop made a gesture of dismissal. Ruck found himself escorted toward the door.

He wrenched his arm from the clerk’s hold and turned back, but people had crowded in. From the corridor all he saw was the lady of the falcon, lifting her hand to her ear with a look of pained sufferance as Isabelle’s voice rose to a shriek. The door closed. A clerk accosted him, informing him that an endowment of thirty-seven gold florins had been promised on behalf of Isabelle and would be accepted at once.

Thirty-seven gold florins was all the money that Ruck had, the last of the ransom from the two French knights he’d captured at Poitiers. The clerk took it, counting carefully, biting each coin before he dropped it into the holy purse.

 

* * *

 

Ruck walked to the hostel as if in a dream. His steps took him first to the stable, to make certain at least of his horse and his sword when everything else seemed a daze.

"Already gone," the hosteler said.

The haze vanished. Ruck grabbed him by the throat, sending his broom flying. "I paid thee, by God!" He threw the man against the wall. "Where are they?"

"The priest!" The hosteler scooted hastily out of reach. "The priest came to collect them, gentle sire! Your good wife—" He stumbled to his feet, ducking. "Is not she to go for a nun? He had a bishop’s seal! An offering to the church—on her behalf, he said—he told me you had willed it so. A bishop’s seal, my lord. I’d not have let them go for less, on my life!"

Ruck felt like a man hit by a pole-ax, still on his feet, but reeling.

"They took my horse?" he asked numbly.

"My lord’s arms, too." From a safe distance the hosteler made a sympathetic grunt. "They would fain have me climb upstairs after your mail and helm. Bloodsuckers, the lot of them."

Isabelle had made him leave his armor. She had made a great ado of it.

Thirty-seven gold florins. Exactly what she had known was in his purse. And his horse. His sword. His armor.

He locked his hands over his head and tilted his face to the sky. A howl burst from him, a long bellow that reverberated from the stones like a beast’s dumb roar. Impotent tears and fury blurred his vision. He leaned back against the wall and slid down it, sitting in the dirt with his head in his arms.

"Ye might sue for to have the horse back, if it were a mistake, gentle sire," the hosteler offered kindly.

Ruck gave a miserable laugh from the hollow of his arms. "How long would that take?"

"Ah. Who could know? Twain year, mayhap."

"Yea—and cost the price of a dozen horse," he muttered.

"True enough," the hosteler agreed morbidly.

Ruck sat curled, staring into the darkness of his arms, his back against the stone wall. He heard the hosteler go away, heard people talking and passing. Grief and rage spun him. He couldn’t move; he had nowhere to go, no wife, no money. Nothing. He couldn’t seem to get his mind around the full dimension of it.

A smart prod at his shoulder pushed him half off his balance. He looked up, with no notion of what time had passed, except that the shadows lay longer and deeper on the street.

The prod came again and Ruck grabbed at the staff with an angry oath. Before him stood the hunchbacked mute he’d gifted with a denier—and his first thought was that he wished he had the money back again.

The beggar held out a little pouch. Ruck scowled. The hunchback wriggled the pouch and offered it closer. He waited, staring at Ruck expectantly as he accepted it.

The bag contained a folded paper and a small coin. The beggar was still waiting. Ruck held onto the coin for a moment, but futile pride overcame him and he tossed it to the beggar with no good grace. The man grinned and saluted, shuffling away.

Ruck watched his dinner and bed disappear up the narrow street. He unfolded the paper—and jerked, catching at the green glitter that fell from inside.

I charge thee, get thee far hence ere nyt falleth. Fayle not in this.

He gazed at the English words, and the two emeralds in his palm. One was small, no bigger than the lens of a dragonfly. The other was of a size to buy full armor and mount, and pay a squire for a year. A size to adorn a falcon’s arrogant crest.

He held the emeralds, watched them wink and catch the light.

He knew what he ought to do. A good man, a virtuous man, would stand up and stride to the palace and throw them in her face. A godly man would not let himself be bound to such a one as she.

He’d given up his wife to God.

And his horse, and his armor, and his money.

Ruck closed his hand on the jewels she sent and swore himself to the Arch-Fiend’s daughter.

 

* * *

 

 

A year turns full turn and yields never like;

The first to the finish conform full seldom.

Forbye, this Yule over, and the year after,

And each season separately ensued after other:

 

And thus yields the year in yesterdays many,

And winter wendes again.

 

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight