Guess what?
The witches didn’t stop. They didn’t reach under the car and grab Stick Dog. They didn’t yank him out and boil him in a stew.
Not at all.
Do you know what they did?
They walked by.
That’s it.
And Stick Dog, once he was sure they were well past their hiding spot beneath the station wagon, exhaled. His shoulders dropped back down into a comfortable position—well, as comfortable as he could get them when scrunched under a car.
He turned his head to look at the others.
All four dogs were huddled tightly together with their paws covering their eyes.
“Guys?” Stick Dog asked.
Nobody budged.
“You guys?”
There was not a single movement from Poo-Poo, Stripes, Mutt, or Karen.
“You were supposed to have your eyes wide open, remember?” Stick Dog said, and smiled. “So you could see the exact moment they grabbed me—and then sprint in the opposite direction. Remember?”
Nobody spoke or moved.
“It’s safe now,” he said. “You can open your eyes.”
Finally, Karen answered him. “H-how do w-we know you’re not using w-witch magic to change your voice and sound like Stick Dog?”
“Open your eyes and you can see me.”
They uncovered their eyes and opened them just barely.
“You c-could have transformed yourself from a w-witch into S-S-Stick Dog to t-trick us,” Mutt said, and shook his head. “Or you m-m-might be the g-ghost of Stick Dog.”
“It’s me,” Stick Dog said. He tried to think of a way to convince them when his body made a sound.
Do you know what it was?
It was his stomach.
It grumbled.
“It is him!” Stripes declared and crawled toward Stick Dog. “I’d know that stomach anywhere!”
“Of course it’s me,” said Stick Dog. He pulled himself out from under the car and stood behind it. He was curious about what the witches were doing and wanted to ensure they hadn’t doubled back in a surprise attack. As Stick Dog peeked around the rear bumper to watch them, Stripes, Karen, Mutt, and Poo-Poo gathered behind him.
“Stick Dog, I’m getting really hungry,” Mutt said. “We have to do something.”
“Shh,” answered Stick Dog. “Something strange is going on here.”
He watched as the two witches walked up to the front door. He scanned the neighborhood—the sidewalks, the driveways, and the front porches of several houses around them. He turned his attention back to the witches, who were now chanting something to the person who had opened the door.
A look of realization came to his face. He watched for another moment and then turned to face his friends.
“It’s okay. Nothing to be scared of,” Stick Dog whispered, and smiled at them. “Back to the fence with the grapevine. We need to make a plan.”
When they got to this safer and more familiar location, Poo-Poo, Mutt, and Stripes came up close to Stick Dog to hear about what he had observed. Karen did not. She meandered back to the grapevines intertwined in the slats of the white picket fence.
“Karen, what are you doing?” Stick Dog asked. “You already searched through there, remember? There weren’t any grapes. Or raisins.”
She looked at Stick Dog and simply answered, “Maybe some have grown since I was here last.”
“Umm,” Stick Dog said, and paused. And then he just said, “Okay.”
As Karen re-submerged herself in another fruitless search for grapes, Stick Dog addressed only Stripes, Poo-Poo, and Mutt.
“Look, you guys,” he began to explain. “I’m starting to think those witches aren’t real. I think they might just be wearing costumes. And there are other humans coming out of their houses wearing costumes too. Most of them are little humans, but there are some big ones too. Only the little ones are dressed up in strange ways.”
Poo-Poo, Stripes, and Mutt scanned the neighborhood. Sure enough, there were nearly a dozen small humans walking around on sidewalks and driveways and standing on front porches. None of them were dressed in regular clothes. There were scary ones—the witches, of course, but also some ghosts and a mummy. And there were others that seemed not as scary—like an astronaut, a cowboy, and a princess.
Under normal circumstances, these strangely dressed humans would have confused and frightened them all terribly. But there was an inflection in Stick Dog’s voice that Stripes, Poo-Poo, and Mutt recognized. He was solving a puzzle. And they knew if he could solve the puzzle, then there was a good chance the reward might be something to eat.
“I have a theory about what might be going—” Stick Dog began, but he had to stop. That’s because Poo-Poo had something vital to say.
“No need to explain things, Stick Dog,” Poo-Poo said with total confidence. “I’ve already figured it all out. I know everything.”
“You do?” asked Mutt, clearly impressed. “Wow. Everything is a lot.”
“That’s right,” Poo-Poo confirmed confidently. “Go ahead. Ask me anything.”
Mutt and Stripes seemed to like the idea of this challenge, relishing an opportunity to stump Poo-Poo. After a few moments of consideration, Mutt asked the first question.
“Can you name three of the five planets in the solar system?”
Poo-Poo tilted his head for a brief moment and then answered, “Wyoming, Orange Ball, and Betty.”
Mutt was obviously surprised. “Impressive,” he whispered.
Stripes took her turn next. “What number comes between three and five?”
Poo-Poo rubbed his chin, bit his lower lip, and tapped his front left paw against the grass several times. This all took twenty or thirty seconds. He didn’t seem totally confident in his answer, but he did give it. He said, “Seven.”
“Whoa,” Stripes said. “You really do know all the right answers.”
“Well,” he said in an attempt at modesty. “I am Poo-Poo, after all.”
“So, umm, seven comes between three and five?” Stick Dog asked. “I guess I didn’t know that.”
Poo-Poo gave Stick Dog a sympathetic glance and said, “You’re probably just not as good a counter as me.”
“I guess not,” Stick Dog said, and smiled a bit. He pointed out to the neighborhood then and asked, “How do you explain all these strange humans here tonight? The witches, the astronaut, and the princess, for instance. What are they doing out here?”
Poo-Poo considered this for several ponderous seconds.
“Well?” Stick Dog asked.
“It’s quite obvious, actually,” Poo-Poo said now that he was pressed for an answer. “The astronaut was flying his spaceship when it crashed into the princess’s castle. His spaceship is now broken, but he needs to get to Planet Betty to complete his mission. Witches can fly on brooms. So he and the princess are going to ask the witches if they can borrow their brooms to fly to Planet Betty. Easy-peasy.”
“Makes sense,” expressed Mutt.
Stripes said, “Totally logical.”
“Well, that’s one explanation,” said Stick Dog. “But I have a slightly different theory.”
“What’s that?” asked Poo-Poo. He couldn’t hide the doubtfulness in his voice.
“I think there’s some kind of bizarre human ritual happening,” Stick Dog theorized. “It appears the little humans go up to the front door of these houses and shout ‘trick or treat.’ Then the door opens and the big humans inside drop stuff in their bags or their orange buckets.”
“The heads are really buckets?” Poo-Poo asked nervously.
Stick Dog nodded.
“But how do you know it’s humans wearing costumes?” asked Mutt. “How do you know the astronaut, princess, and witches are not, you know, an astronaut, princess, and witches?”
“Look at their feet,” Stick Dog said, and pointed out into the neighborhood again. “They’re all wearing sneakers!”
Stick Dog probably would have explained his theory even further, but it was precisely then that something caught Stick Dog’s attention. One witch swung her bucket in a huge arc and a small red packet flew out. It landed softly in the green grass at the edge of the driveway. Stick Dog marked the spot to remember and then turned his head to see Karen rustle her way out of the grapevines.
“Bad news,” she muttered. “There’s not a single grape in that whole mess.”
“You mean none have grown since you last searched?” Stick Dog asked as sincerely as he could muster.
Karen hung her head low and then shook it. She seemed bitterly disappointed with the result of her grape search.
“Karen?” Stick Dog asked. “Can you wait here just a minute? I’m going to go get something.”
She nodded but didn’t look up.
To Stripes, Poo-Poo, and Mutt, he said, “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
With that, Stick Dog inched his way to the picket fence’s final post. He looked left and then right and then left again. He saw several humans, but none were very close—and they all seemed preoccupied with the night’s festivities. It was also growing darker. Stick Dog thought it was safe enough.
He sprinted about three-quarters of the way down the driveway to the exact spot where that red packet had come flying out of the orange bucket. He sifted through the grass for a few seconds with his paws. Stick Dog heard a crackling sound and saw the shiny red packet reflecting the moonlight. He picked it up and hurried back to his friends.
When Stick Dog reached Mutt, Stripes, Poo-Poo, and Karen, he dropped the red packet on the ground. They looked, pawed, and sniffed at it.
“Let’s see what’s inside,” Stick Dog said. “The witches seemed happy to get this, so it must be okay.”
With that, Stick Dog pinned a corner of the packet beneath his front left paw and tore at it with his front right paw. When he did, the red packet ripped open quickly and sprayed several colorful round candies across the ground.
