‘Robert, you’re so much better now,’ Alice said. ‘I really should be getting back.’
‘Back where?’ he asked sharply.
‘To the front, or at least to some kind of war work. Since I heard about Bernard and Roy, I need to keep busy. I need to do something. If you don’t need me quite so much, maybe . . .’ She waited, holding her breath in case he should say no, I don’t need you any more. ‘I could help out at Lincoln hospital.’
Robert gazed at her lovely face and held out his hand to her. ‘Please – come here and sit beside me. What I do need is to talk to you.’
She sat down, her heart beating a little faster. Was this it? Was he going to tell her that he was, like she’d said, so much better that he could release her from her promise?
‘Alice,’ he said softly, ‘my darling Alice, you must know how I feel about you.’
Her heart felt as if it flipped over and then began to beat rapidly. Unable to speak, she shook her head.
‘I love you, dearest girl. I can’t let you go because I want you to stay with me. Alice Dawson, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?’
Alice gasped and felt colour flood her face. She stared at him with wide eyes. ‘Oh Robert – Master Robert – I – we can’t possibly. What would your mother say?’
Robert laughed. ‘It’s what you say that matters, darling.’ His face fell for a moment. ‘Don’t you love me? Is that it?’
‘No, no, of course not. I mean – of course I love you. I think I always have.’
‘If that’s true, then I’ve been a blind fool.’
She shook her head. ‘We’ve been together – out there – thrown together in extraordinary circumstances. Then you were injured and I nursed you. I want you to be sure it’s not just a – a wartime romance.’
‘No, Alice, I know it isn’t. I promise you it isn’t.’
There was silence between them as they gazed at each other, the love shining out of their faces. At last he said softly, ‘You haven’t answered my question.’
‘It’ll cause trouble.’
He shrugged. ‘So? If we can get through what we’ve experienced out there, we can weather a few storms at home, now, can’t we? Is it my mother you’re thinking of?’
‘And your father. And my family too. They’ll think I’ll get hurt – Ma – my grandmother – has already said as much.’
Robert chuckled. ‘And how come she knows about it?’
Alice blushed again. ‘Because I told her I was in love with you, but that I didn’t think it could ever come to anything.’
He squeezed her hand. ‘Oh, it’s come to something, Alice Dawson, you’d better believe it. But please – please, put me out of my misery. Are you going to say “yes”?’
‘Of course I am.’
‘It won’t do, Robert. Have you taken leave of your senses? She’s a maid in this house, for heaven’s sake.’ Henrietta was angry. Very angry. But the angrier his mother grew, the calmer Robert became.
‘Dearest Mother, I wouldn’t want to hurt or upset you in any way. You must know that. But Alice is no longer a maid of any sort. We have shared danger together and grown close and—’
‘Exactly!’ Henrietta said triumphantly. He had unwittingly played into her hands. ‘You’ve been out there under enormous pressure, so of course your emotions are heightened and you’ve imagined yourself in love with her. Added to which, presumably there were no other girls there of your class—’
‘Mother!’ Now Robert was angry too. They faced each other as she stood at the end of his bed. Deliberately, he tried to calm himself. He had no wish to fall out with his mother but he was determined to marry Alice, even if it meant they would have to leave the hall and live elsewhere. But Henrietta was not finished yet.
‘Robert, you’re not thinking logically. You are the heir to the hall and its estate. Do you really think Alice can become the “lady of the manor”?’
Robert smiled wryly. ‘Is that how you think of yourself, Mother?’
‘It’s how the villagers see me,’ she shot back. ‘You would be taking Alice out of her class. She would be lost and lonely because no one would know how to treat her.’
‘They would treat her as my wife or I’d want to know the reason why.’
Henrietta glared at him, not knowing what to say next. ‘I’ll have to ask your father to speak to you.’
‘You do that, Mother, but my answer will be the same.’
Henrietta stalked towards the door and pulled it open.
‘Oh and by the way, if you’re thinking of disinheriting me, then go ahead. Pips would make a much better heir than me.’
Henrietta muttered something beneath her breath and went through the door, slamming it behind her.
‘Oh no, I’m not going to allow that,’ Len said. ‘Whatever are you thinking of, girl? How much more shame is to be heaped on my head? First William disgraces us, and now you.’
Alice gasped and stared at him. ‘How can accepting a proposal of marriage from the future master of the hall be a disgrace?’
‘Because you’re stepping out of your class. Marriages like that never work. Norah,’ he rounded on his wife, ‘have you been filling her head with romantic nonsense?’
Norah cringed under his anger, but it was Ma who spoke up, ‘This is the first your wife has heard of it, Len, so pipe down, will you, and let’s discuss this rationally.’
Len swung round on her, pointing his finger at her. ‘I’ve warned you before. I’m head of this house and you live here under my benevolence.’
Ma stared at him. ‘D’you know, lad, over these last two years since this wretched war started, I’ve sometimes thought it might be a lot pleasanter living in the workhouse than here and that says a lot, doesn’t it? I’ve been grateful to you, Len, giving me a home all these years, but I’m still your mother and I won’t be spoken to like that or threatened. So, if that’s how you really feel, I’ll go upstairs right this minute and pack my bags.’
‘Aye well, you can go, then.’
‘Len!’ Now it was Norah who was shocked.
He rounded on her. ‘And you can go, an’ all. I blame the pair of you for all the trouble we’ve had. You made a coward out of William, encouraging him to work at the hall instead of with me and his brothers where I could have made a man of him. And then you let her go abroad with Miss Pips. I knew no good would come of her getting too close to that family. And now look what’s happened.’
The three women stared at each other in turn. There was nothing any of them could think of to say in the face of Len’s anger.
‘I’d better get back,’ Alice murmured at last.
‘Aye, go back,’ Len shouted, shaking his fist at her. ‘Go to him, but don’t come running back here when he changes his mind. You’ve made your bed, you’d better lie on it.’
‘I wonder how Robert is getting on,’ Pips said. ‘I haven’t had a letter from home in ages.’
They were on their way to the coast for a two-day break. The slaughter of the Somme had eased, but all the members of Dr Hazelwood’s corps were exhausted, none more so than Giles, who’d taken on the sole burden of surgery after Robert’s injury. It had been a soul-destroying experience for all of them.
‘Mm.’ Giles seemed distracted and the rest of the journey was completed in silence.
When they arrived at their favourite hotel, Giles threw himself on the bed and fell asleep. Pips moved quietly about the room unpacking her belongings, then she lay down beside him, but sleep eluded her. She longed to be in Giles’s arms, to love and be loved, but he was snoring gently beside her. At last, she dozed. Later, when he is rested, she promised herself . . .
But Giles did not wake, not even for dinner, and Pips ate alone in the dining room, after which she took a brief walk in the dark November night along the beach. Back in the room, Giles was still not awake. Gently she covered him with the eiderdown without disturbing him, undressed and slipped into the bed beside him. She lay awake for a long time, staring into the darkness and longing for his touch. But Giles slept on.
In the morning, he was apologetic, but Pips brushed it aside. ‘You were shattered, I could see that.’ She put her arms around him. For a moment he resisted until she said, ‘It’s all right, Giles. I understand. Really. We’ll just use this as a complete rest, if that’s what you want.’
‘It’s not what I want,’ he muttered, ‘but I’m just so damned tired.’
‘Hardly surprising.’ She kissed the top of his head as he leaned his cheek against her breast. ‘We’ve been going non-stop since the beginning of July and then we’ve had to cope with Robert’s injury. It must have been hard for you to operate on your friend.’
‘It was, but even harder for you to assist when he’s your brother.’
‘Alice was a brick. It wasn’t easy for her either, not when she’s in love with him.’
Giles looked up at her. ‘Is she? I hadn’t realized until you mentioned it.’
Pips chuckled. ‘Men don’t notice these things. Even Robert had been unaware until I told him.’
‘You told him? Why?’
‘Because he’s in love with her too. Surely that was obvious from the way he wouldn’t let her out of his sight after the operation, and insisted she go all the way back to England with him. And she hasn’t come back, has she?’
Giles was thoughtful for a moment before murmuring, ‘I wouldn’t be in Robert’s shoes when your mother gets to hear about it.’
Pips wrinkled her brow. ‘You’re right. I really hadn’t given much thought to Mother’s reaction. Oh dear!’ She collapsed in gales of laughter. ‘Poor Robert.’
Though they took gentle walks on the beach despite the wintry weather, and lay in each other’s arms at night, they did not make love. Pips was disappointed and not a little hurt, but she tried to tell herself that it was merely because Giles was worn out. Next time, everything would be all right.
When they returned to the unit there was a letter waiting for Pips from home and, to her surprise, it was from her mother. Henrietta had never written to her. Edwin had written regularly, sending loving messages from Henrietta, but this was the first time she’d written herself. Pips tore open the letter anxiously, fearing something must be wrong. Had Robert taken a turn for the worse, or was her father ill with the burden of carrying on his practice alone when he had expected to be able to take things a bit easier with Robert working alongside him?
The letter was surprisingly short but to the point.
Pips, you will have to come home. Robert is being ridiculously stupid, saying he is going to marry Alice. We need your support to stop this catastrophe.
Pips sought out Giles. ‘Do you think you could spare me for a week or so? I really must go home to support Robert and Alice.’
‘You’re going to side with them against your parents?’ he asked, sounding surprised.
‘I most certainly am,’ Pips said, determinedly.
Giles pulled a face. Obviously, he didn’t agree with her, but all he said was, ‘We can manage here, now things are quieter. Let’s hope they stay that way for a while.’
‘It usually quietens down during the worst of the winter. This’ll be the third one we’ve faced. When is it going to end, Giles? When will we be able to get on with our lives?’
Giles shrugged. ‘I only wish I knew,’ he said flatly. He put his arms around her and kissed her cheek. ‘Safe journey.’