Chapter Eleven

When Tyce woke, Whitney was curled into him, her skin warm, her dark hair spilled out over the pillow. He loved being able to feel every tiny movement she made in her sleep, to hear every breath she took.

He’d thought for so long about what this would be like, but last night with Whitney in his arms had been so much better than anything he could have ever imagined. They had been two halves of the same whole, and even when the pleasure had taken them both over, their connection had been so much more than physical. Amazingly, lying with her as early morning light streamed in through the bedroom window was almost better than making love to her.

The truth was that whenever he’d pictured himself and Whitney together, it had always been this moment, holding her, with the morning sun streaming in through the window, and nowhere either one of them had to go.

At the sound of barking from the next room, Tyce winced. Well, almost nowhere to go.

He gently slid his arms from around Whitney, careful not to wake her. She looked so peaceful sleeping in his bed, and so tempting. It was all Tyce could do not to climb back into bed with her and wake her with a kiss.

There would be time for that later, though. To laugh. To kiss. To dream. To talk. To share.

And to love.

Tyce got dressed as quietly as he could, then headed out into the living room where Milo was waiting for him to take him for his morning walk.

“You really know how to kill a great mood, don’t you?”

Milo’s ears twitched and Tyce scratched between them.

“I’m kidding. This morning is perfect. Let’s take you for your walk so that I can get back to the woman I’ve waited five years for.”

Milo followed along happily as Tyce took him for a walk around the block. When they returned, he planned to make Whitney breakfast in bed, then wake her with a kiss. Maybe they’d stay beneath the sheets for the rest of the day together, or maybe they’d get up and just talk for hours, her hand in his, her beautiful face right there for him to memorize every feature.

The best part of it all was that it genuinely didn’t matter to Tyce which they did. He’d been with women who had been exciting in the bedroom, but with whom he’d had nothing in common outside of it. With Whitney, he could happily spend the day simply being near to her. They could walk to her favorite coffee shop, then keep going after that, with no plans, just seeing where they ended up.

“Would you like that?” Tyce asked Milo. “Would you like to go for a long walk with Whitney?”

Milo wagged his tail. It was settled, then. Tyce would still wake Whitney up, but they’d go out for breakfast, and then…well, there were so many possibilities. So many ways they could spend the day together.

So many ways they could spend the rest of their lives together.

When Tyce looked down again, Milo seemed to be shaking his furry head in warning.

“I know,” Tyce said. “I need to take things easy and not plan too far ahead, but this is finally it, little guy. Me and Whitney, the way it should have been all along.”

Milo barked.

“Okay, so we probably shouldn’t push things too fast at first with her family, because Kenneth is fairly recent history. We can start off slow at first by dating, then deal with what comes next, one thing at a time. I mean, after last night…” Tyce shook his head. “Actually, you aren’t old enough to hear about that, except maybe in dog years.”

He started walking back towards his apartment with Milo following alongside. “She’s the one. I’m sure of it. I’ve always been sure of it.”

He’d known how he felt about Whitney from the moment he first met her.

Wanting to get back to her, he sped up until Milo had to trot along beside him. Knowing Whitney was probably still asleep, Tyce was extra quiet as he took out his keys and let himself in. Milo barked as Tyce started to open the door, and Tyce put a finger to his lips.

“Shh. You don’t want to wake Whitney—”

Tyce didn’t finish his sentence, because it turned out that they didn’t have to worry about waking Whitney, after all. She was standing in his living room, fully dressed, with her bag over her shoulder.

“Whitney?” Tyce stepped inside, the door still open behind him. “You’re leaving?”

Milo ran forward, and even as Whitney bent to pet him, Tyce could see the tension on her face. The beautiful features that had been so relaxed while she slept were tighter now.

“I have to, Tyce.”

“Last night—”

“Last night was wonderful,” Whitney said, cutting him off in a soft voice.

“But you’re still leaving,” Tyce said, unable to keep the bitterness from creeping in. “Again.”

He’d been so certain that things were finally going right, yet here Whitney was, obviously ready to run away without looking back.

Whitney reached up to touch his face, and just for a moment, Tyce dared to look at her with hope. But then he saw the faint shimmer of a tear at the corner of her eye and knew…

He was losing her.

“In the past few weeks, I’ve followed my heart on more things than in the whole of the rest of my life. Breaking up with Kenneth. Taking a chance on you.”

“This isn’t about Kenneth,” Tyce said with absolute certainty.

“You’re right,” she said. “But it isn’t entirely about you either, even though last night was wonderful and perfect and you helped me see just how good things can be when I go after what I want.”

He had to move a little bit closer. “So you do want me, at least.”

Whitney wrapped her arms around his neck. “Of course I want you,” she said, before kissing him, too briefly.

Like she was kissing him goodbye.

“But you’re still leaving, aren’t you?”

Whitney unwound her arms from his neck. “Every time I’ve taken a chance recently, it has worked out so much better than I expected. I thought my family would be so upset with me when I broke up with Kenneth, but they were fine about it. I thought things couldn’t possibly be as good as I remembered with you, but…”

She didn’t finish that thought, but from the look in her eyes, she didn’t need to.

“We could be good together, Whitney. We are good together.” Tyce couldn’t stand the thought of not being with her. “I thought you could see it, too.”

Whitney nodded, and Tyce could see the pain in her eyes even as she agreed with him.

“I do see it,” she whispered. “Please, Tyce, don’t make this even harder for me.” Whitney took a breath. “I’m going to give veterinary school a try.”

Veterinary school?

For a moment, Tyce had thought that there was a real problem. But school wasn’t a problem. Not at all.

“UC Davis is one of the best vet schools in the country, isn’t it? That’s only an hour from here.” He spoke quickly as the picture became clearer and clearer to him. “We can find a place in the middle that will work for both of us. Or I’ll commute to the chalet so you can be closer to school.”

But she was shaking her head and he could feel his skin start to go cold in the warm room, even as the sun streamed in over them both.

“The school I’ve always dreamed of attending, and graduating from, is a combined ranch and veterinary college,” she suddenly blurted. “It’s the perfect place for what I want to do and when I called them, they told me they’ll accept me again based on my records from when I applied before.” She took a shaky breath before saying, “It’s in Colorado, Tyce.”

“Colorado.”

Tyce repeated it flatly, the one word crushing his renewed hopes. He’d thought everything was finally going to work out, even if they each had to make a few sacrifices along the way. He’d thought that they meant something.

Yet here Whitney was, planning to move a thousand miles away.

She stepped back, clenching her hands together. “If I don’t do this now, I’m afraid I never will.”

In that moment, Tyce knew how easy it would be for him to stop her.

A few words, and Whitney would give up on the whole crazy dream.

A single kiss, and she’d be his.

He could take her back to bed and make her forget that she’d ever thought about running off to another state to go back to school.

“You’re right,” he made himself say, each word tasting like dirt on his tongue. “You should go. I know how much you’ve wanted this. And how much you’ll love being a vet.”

“You aren’t angry?”

What could he say to that? Of course he was angry.

Angry that the world could keep giving him brief tastes of the woman he was in love with, only to snatch her away again.

Angry at the part of him that still insisted he should stop her, even though he’d never forgive himself if he did.

“You’re finally going to live your dream.” Tyce pulled her back into his arms and kissed her gently. “I’m happy for you, Whitney. And so proud of you for going after everything you want.”

Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears and instead of saying anything more, she kissed him one more time. It was a kiss full of deep emotion and boundless passion.

Her tears fell down her cheeks as she moved from his arms. Tyce made himself stay right where he was as she headed for the door, then closed it softly behind her without looking back. But he could see the way her shoulders shook. And he could taste his own tears now.

Beside him, Milo whined. “This is Whitney’s dream. She’s spent so long putting everyone else first. I’m not ruining this for her.”

He picked up his bright, shiny Rose Chalet guitar, trying to find solace there. But before he knew what he was doing, he threw it down hard enough that the neck broke away from the body of the instrument.

“Damn it!”

Milo cowered in the corner, and Tyce realized it was the first time he’d ever frightened his dog. His chest clenched as he held out a hand and Milo came over cautiously, obviously worried about what his owner might do.

“It’s all right, little guy,” Tyce said, petting him. “I’m sorry about scaring you like that. I won’t do it again, I promise.”

Milo leaned into him, clearly using his warm, furry weight to try to be a comfort.

“If I did go after her, what then?” he said to the dog who had been there practically every second that he’d spent with Whitney. “We both keep working at things that aren’t our dreams? We stay together for a while, then a year from now, or twenty years from now, we blame each other for getting in the way of those dreams? I don’t ever want Whitney to feel that way about me.” He paused. “And I don’t want to feel that way about her.”

He knew he’d done the right thing, but shouldn’t the right thing feel better than this? Better than feeling like his heart had been torn out of his chest, leaving a gaping hole that nothing could fill.

He picked up his old, beaten up guitar. Sebastian was right when he’d said it matched Tyce more than his nice one ever had. He felt beaten and bruised, just like the guitar, but he’d once made beautiful music anyway.

Milo stared up at him, a pleading look in his brown eyes.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to break this one.”

Tyce sat down on his old armchair, cradling the instrument as gently as he’d held Whitney in his arms. Memories of being with her were fresh, and bright…and painful.

He’d told Sebastian genuine emotion was the most important thing when it came to music. Lord knew, he had more than enough feelings crashing around inside of him.

Determined in a way he couldn’t ever remember being determined before, Tyce put his fingers in place behind the frets and reached into himself. Deep. Farther than he’d reached before.

This time he wouldn’t run from the pain that came with trying to do the right thing. Instead he would make himself feel every moment of the joy of being with Whitney…and then the loss.

Five years of waiting for her rolled over him, into him, through him, like the waves of an unstoppable tsunami.

Finally, when he wasn’t sure that he could take any more of it, he started to play again.

And he kept playing this time.