• Thirty-Eight •

I couldn’t let her get hurt. I wouldn’t survive that. No one would.

Thatcher

Watching her sleep in my bed, in my house, gave me more ease than the little comfort I’d gotten when I watched her at night in the small home I’d given her. She belonged here. I wanted her on expensive sheets, in clothing I bought for her, being pampered. She needed a bikini. One for my eyes only. I wanted to see her lying out by my pool.

She yawned and stretched, turning in bed. I took a drink from my coffee and grinned.

She’d talked last night. It was entertaining as fuck to listen to her rattle on in her sleep. For the most part, it was words that made no sense strung together. She’d said brush, freezer, and furlong last night in one breath. Sometimes, she’d make a normal sentence. It was rare.

I’d expected her to say something more about my not wanting her on Zephyr last night, but she hadn’t brought it up. I didn’t know if I was relieved or not. People were careful around me. Even those closest to me didn’t cross lines. I could see the uncertainty in their eyes when they looked at me.

I didn’t want that with Capri. The thought of her seeing me like the others, like my mother did, having any fear where I was concerned knotted up my fucking chest so tight that I wanted to hurt something. I didn’t care what others thought of me or how they saw me. Hell, most of the time, I liked it. They were right to be cautious. Especially if Capri was around. It was the only time I could turn into someone or something else. Take a life without hesitation. It was her others should be careful around. If she was happy, then I was fine.

When she’d looked into my eyes at one of my darkest moments, she’d seen the demons. The realization in her expression as she read the darkness inside me for what it was caused me a moment of panic. I thought she’d run from me. But she didn’t. Instead, she’d immediately tried to ease me. Comfort me. No one had ever tried that. Sure, women had swallowed my cock before to calm me down, but that had just given me a sexual release. It had been nothing more than fleeting pleasure.

Capri truly gave a shit. I’d not expected that from her. All these years of making sure she was safe, watching her because I couldn’t seem to stay away, it wasn’t because I’d believed she would be different. It was because of that moment when she’d looked into my eyes the first time and I had felt something kick. Come to life like a flame had been lit. Blowing it off was impossible. Just like forgetting it had been.

In the five years after I’d killed a man for touching her, I’d convinced myself I’d imagined it. Whatever it was that she stirred inside me. She had been an awkward kid. A fucking minister’s daughter. Going to see her again just to close that door and find that there was nothing there, that I’d just had a twisted moment and snapped a man’s neck, hadn’t gone as planned.

It had happened again. The burn. The switch. Whatever it had been. She’d ignited it, and I knew I’d not be able to walk away. I would have to make sure she was safe, happy, and taken care of.

Keeping the guys away that got too close hadn’t exactly been something that made her happy. I couldn’t help that. When they kissed her or touched her, I’d become another person. My actions were no longer my own. I couldn’t allow them to take her innocence. I needed to know she was still pure. She wasn’t jaded. She was the light that I craved and could never have.

I smirked. That ship had sailed. I had her now. She wasn’t leaving me. This was mine. I never had to walk away from that fucking window or leave her room because she was waking up again.

She stretched, and then her eyes fluttered before opening. I watched as she looked over to my empty pillow, then started to sit up. Those grey eyes locked on me, and her face softened. Fuck yeah. She was happy to see me. I’d put that look on her face. Her tiny ass was all curled up on my massive bed.

“Morning,” I said, setting my cup down on the mantel.

“Good morning,” she replied, then glanced toward the windows overlooking the backyard. “I slept late.”

It was after nine, and she was normally up before seven, if not six, every day.

“I had my mouth between your legs at two this morning. You were tired,” I replied, walking over to her.

She blushed and bit her bottom lip. I should have let her sleep all night, but I’d watched her for an hour after she woke me up, talking in her sleep. The need to have her on my tongue the rest of the night and hear her moan was too much. I’d woken her while licking her clit.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and patted the spot beside me. She crawled over to it, and I pulled her onto my lap. Burying my nose in the curve of her neck, I inhaled. The silent purr deep in my chest didn’t surprise me. Every fucking dark corner of my soul this woman seemed to bring peace to.

“What time is it?” she asked, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck.

“Nine,” I replied. It was actually nine thirty, but what did it matter? She was here in my arms. Time did not matter.

“Oh!” she said, leaning back, her eyes wide. “I didn’t ask what time I needed to be at the stables to exercise the horses.”

I brushed her hair back off her shoulder, then enjoyed the soft skin there. I fucking loved how it felt. Like silk but warm.

“Thatcher,” she said between a whine and a moan.

I grinned and placed a kiss on the spot I’d been enjoying.

“Focus. We are back, and I have a job.”

I was focused. On her. In my lap.

“Please,” she begged breathlessly as I took a nip of her earlobe between my teeth.

I wanted to keep her here all day and touch her, lick her, enjoy her little sounds.

“I need to work.”

No, she didn’t. But I had already taken Zephyr and the upcoming race away from her. I knew taking anything else would make her unhappy. I didn’t do well when that happened. Sighing, I lifted my head and looked into her eyes. She seemed anxious.

“We’ll go down to the stables after you eat. I’ll let Miller know you’ll be there to run the horses.”

She relaxed. “Thank you.”

I waited a moment to see if she would bring up Zephyr again, and she didn’t. Part of me wanted her to fight for it. Stand up to me. Just so I knew she felt secure that I wouldn’t hurt her. The other part was relieved. I couldn’t let her get hurt. I wouldn’t survive that. No one would.