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Iris woke up in Alex’s bed again. Unlike last weekend, he hadn’t asked her to stay the night; there was simply an understanding between them that she would.
This time, when she woke up at seven-thirty, she didn’t attempt to make him breakfast. She looked at things at her phone—thank God there were no more pictures of ugly clothes from her mom—until he woke up, hard, and made love to her. They ate cereal for breakfast, returned to bed, and later, they went for a walk.
“I have something I want to show you,” he said, taking her hand.
As they headed to their mysterious destination, she kept glancing at their joined hands. It was so odd to be out in the sunshine, holding a man’s hand.
But she didn’t let go.
He led her to a coffee shop on Dupont called A Cup of Stars, which she thought was a silly, nonsensical name, though she didn’t tell him that. Rather than stopping at the counter, he led her to the backyard patio.
“Perfect,” he murmured, and walked to a wooden swing that was partially obscured by some potted bushes. “Sit here.”
She sat.
“I’ll get you some coffee,” he said. “You take it black, right?”
She nodded. “Why did you want to take me here, rather than Starbucks?”
He sat beside her on the swing and turned her to the right, where there was a white trellis with plentiful pink roses, and then her gaze was drawn by what was above the fence. On the brick wall of the next building was an enormous mural of a little girl standing on a hill, looking up at the night sky.
“Now look to the left,” he said, wrapping his arm around her.
On the building to the left, there was another mural, this one a close-up of sunflowers, as well as more roses—real, not painted. There was a light breeze, and it ruffled her hair and brought the scent of the flowers to her nose. Jazz music drifted out of the back door of the café.
She didn’t know what to say.
“I stumbled on this place last year,” he said. “I never had anyone to bring here, but I thought it was...”
Romantic.
She knew exactly how he was going to finish that sentence.
The unspoken word lingered in the silence between them.
“I come here occasionally by myself,” he said. “To take a break from the city. I find it peaceful, but if you want to go somewhere else—”
“No, no.” She laid a hand on his thigh. “We can stay.”
He was right: it was a lovely little refuge from the fast-paced world.
It unsettled her, though, that he would bring her to this place. It wasn’t the sort of thing men ever did for her. If they’d tried, she wouldn’t have let them.
Alex went inside, and he came back a few minutes later with coffee and crumbly currant scones that tasted like heaven. She rocked the bench swing gently back and forth, using just the tips of her toes, and she felt almost giddy.
“Would you like me to get you another scone?” he asked after she’d wolfed hers down.
“Yes, please.”
When he returned with the scone, he broke off a piece and fed it to her. She closed her eyes as his fingers touched her lips. She took the piece of scone into her mouth and chewed slowly.
Currant scones really were the best thing in the world.
“I like it here,” she said as she opened her eyes. I like it here with you.
He smiled at her like nothing made him happier than making her happy.
She was still unsettled, but she pushed those feeling away.
“Someday,” he said, “I’d like to have a house with a little backyard, though that seems like an impossible dream in a city with such expensive real estate. I’d make it like this, maybe. Without the murals on the buildings next door, of course, but a few pieces of patio furniture, a little garden and climbing roses—I’ve always thought I would like gardening. A place to relax, an escape from the world, in my own backyard.”
“That sounds nice,” she murmured, allowing herself to imagine she was part of his future, to wish for things she’d never wished for before.
He wrapped his arm around her, and they simply sat like that for a while, sipping their coffee. A little bird landed on her empty scone plate and pecked at the crumbs, and she laughed.
It was perfect, somehow.
All Alex had done was take her to a neighborhood coffee shop, but it felt like a very special gift.
“What kind of flowers do you like?” he asked.
“I like roses.” Really, what woman didn’t? “Peonies. Tulips...”
Was he asking because he wanted to get her a bouquet of flowers? Or because he was imagining what flowers he would plant in his backyard garden and wondering what would please her?
She couldn’t remember a man ever giving her flowers. Since she didn’t do relationships, men didn’t buy her red roses for Valentine’s, or take her out for a nice dinner on her birthday, or do something sweet for her, just because.
Alex pressed a kiss to her temple. “You’re so beautiful.”
Various thoughts still niggled at the back of her mind, but she pushed them aside once more and just focused on the man sitting next to her, holding her.
He was so damn handsome, and he really did have the greatest arms. She’d always been a sucker for nice arms.
She closed her eyes, leaned her head on his shoulder, and sighed in contentment. Without him, she couldn’t fully appreciate a quiet moment like this.
But this...this was nice.
She looked at the mural of the night sky and stopped herself from wishing upon a star.
* * *
By the time Alex asked Iris to have dinner with him, they’d been together almost twenty-four hours, and the strange thing was that she wasn’t itching to get away from him. They’d had a leisurely day together, and she’d enjoyed it very much.
However...
“We can have a quick dinner,” she said, “but I have plans with Crystal later in the evening. I’m supposed to meet her at a bar on Queen Street.”
“Come over afterward?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
Damn, he was devastatingly sexy and she nearly said yes.
“No,” she managed to say, “but I’ll see you on Tuesday or Wednesday when I’m on site.”
Last night, he’d shown her a different side of himself. A more vulnerable side, and her heart, which sometimes felt like it was made of steel, had ached for him. Yet at the same time, she’d felt that as long as they were beside each other, as long as she could take his hand in hers, it would all be okay.
Then this afternoon, they’d spent an hour at A Cup of Stars, and she’d felt so impossibly close to him in that romantic setting, sitting on the wooden swing bench surrounded by roses.
Now, the spell she’d been under when they were on the backyard patio was broken, and she wondered why she’d had so many mushy thoughts. What the hell was wrong with her?
Last weekend, she’d decided it would be good to get some distance from Alex, and look what had happened instead. But she hadn’t been able to help herself, not with him. She’d resolved that it would be nothing but sex, and yet it continued to feel like something more. It was good she already had plans with her friend tonight, or she might be tempted to spend the entire weekend with him.
“Vietnamese food?” she said, then suggested a nearby restaurant that was pretty casual and not at all romantic.
* * *
“Fuck,” Iris said as she slid into the seat across from Crystal.
“Is that what you and Alex have been doing lately?”
“Oh, yes. There has been lots of fucking. I also attempted to cook for him, which ended as well as you would expect.”
“What happened?”
“I burned scrambled eggs. I know, I know, scrambled eggs are practically the easiest thing to cook, but... Dammit, I need a drink.”
They were tucked into a booth at a cozy bar on Queen Street. A good place to have a long conversation, but not a good place if your goal was to pick up a hot man and take him home.
The waitress came around, and Iris ordered a vodka and lime. She wasn’t feeling particularly creative tonight. Crystal, to her surprise, ordered some kind of beer she’d never heard of.
“You’re ordering beer?” Iris said.
Crystal shrugged. “Jared introduced me to a few things that are pretty good.”
“You have so much to tell me.”
“Not yet. Don’t change the topic. We’re talking about Alex.”
“Alex.” Iris blew out a breath. “At first, we were just seeing each other at work. After our first awkward meeting on site, he was polite and kept things professional, which I should have wanted, but I encouraged him to flirt with me. I couldn’t help it. There was lots of talk about steel erection.”
“Of course there was,” Crystal murmured.
“One afternoon, he invited me to have coffee with him. He told me some rather personal things, and I invited him over to meet my grandmother last week. Since then, we’ve been sleeping together, but it’s not like the first time. It’s more than just sex, even though I don’t want it to be.”
“Would that really be so bad?”
Iris’s eyes widened. “That’s not the reaction I expected from you. We’ve had a ton of conversations about how we don’t want to be tied down to anyone. What’s Jared done to you?”
Crystal smiled to herself. “Oh, nothing. Except for sleeping over nearly every night and giving me an unlimited supply of back rubs and orgasms.”
“And introducing you to beer you actually like.”
“And that.” Crystal paused. “It’s been nice. Drama-free, unlike the relationships I had in university, but not boring and... I have no words to describe it. I never thought it could be like this for me, but I think I might actually be in love with him.” She looked stunned. “My God, did I just say that?”
“You did.”
Iris couldn’t help feeling disturbed. She and Crystal had agreed on what they wanted in life. They wanted to be independent single woman, free to go out and have fun and sleep with whomever they wanted. They would have their careers and their friends, and sometimes a hot male body to warm their beds. Many men would consider that an ideal life—well, substituting “female body” for “male” in most cases. Why couldn’t they do the same?
But now Crystal had Jared, and Iris had Alex. Kind of. Sort of.
“I love him,” Crystal said, “and that doesn’t freak me out. Huh.”
“Well, I don’t love Alex,” Iris said. “I do like him quite a bit, though. Maybe it’s sort of like a friends-with-benefits situation in which we’re also working together?”
Ha. No. She couldn’t say that after this afternoon, after he’d taken her to A Cup of Stars.
She hadn’t been to East Markham Hospital in more than a week. Not since they’d gone out for coffee together for the first time, not since the two nights she’d spent in his apartment.
So much had happened since the last time she’d seen him in a hardhat.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she muttered.
“That doesn’t sound good,” Crystal said, sipping her beer.
“I just realized it’s a conflict of interest. It is, isn’t it? I’m sleeping with the site supervisor. At first, I thought the fact that we’d had a one-night stand was no big deal, but now, we have a relationship of sorts.” Iris shuddered at the word. “I don’t believe it affects my ability to do my job. I believe I can be objective, but if this comes out, it’ll look bad. Really bad.”
It was her responsibility to make sure the building was constructed according to the plans. If people knew she was sleeping with Alex, they might wonder if she’d been lenient on any issues that came up with the general contractor because of their personal relationship. And if there were any safety issues with the finished structure, the engineering company’s ass would be on the line.
She’d sworn she’d keep her personal and professional lives separate. Never entertained the idea of sleeping with anyone she knew through work.
But then Alex had happened.
“You’re right,” Crystal said. “That’s tough.”
They were women—minority women—in a field dominated by men. They faced extra scrutiny. Iris would be judged harshly for this.
Her face heated. She rarely felt shame about her sex life. She’d slept with many men, had lots of casual sex, and she was okay with that.
This was different.
She had feelings for Alex, as uncomfortable as it was to admit. Although she was pretty sure she could be objective, she wasn’t a hundred percent sure.
She scrubbed her hands down her face. “I have to tell my boss. Maybe everything would be just fine on the project, but I’d feel guilty about hiding this.”
Scott would take her off the project. She didn’t think he would fire her, but he would never look at her the same way again, and she hated to lose his respect. He’d always treated her well. He’d always been fair.
Crystal took her hand and nodded sympathetically. “Okay. Let’s figure out exactly what you should say.”
Iris shook her head. “I’ll figure that out tomorrow. Right now, I just want to get drunk and hear about Jared.”
But as the conversation drifted to other topics, her thoughts remained on Alex.
Fuck. Relationships—even if they were vaguely defined, even if they weren’t super serious and official—always led to problems.
She regretted having more than a meaningless one-night stand.
It just wasn’t worth it.
* * *
“What’s wrong?” Ngin Ngin asked Iris at lunch the next day.
“Nothing,” Iris said, moving the food around on her plate.
She didn’t want to talk about Alex. Didn’t want to talk about the conversation she needed to have with her boss on Monday.
“Did you have a nice time with your friend last night? I hope you’re not doing any drugs.”
Iris laughed weakly. “Don’t worry. All we had was alcohol.”
There was a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it.” Iris jumped up and ran to the door.
It was her mother.
God, this was just what she needed right now.
“Iris!” Mom walked in. “I brought the clothes I got for you.”
“Uh, thank you.”
“Is Ngin Ngin here, or has she left for Sunday afternoon mah jong?”
“She’s here. We’re eating lunch.”
Mom walked into the kitchen, Iris trailing behind her.
“Carolyn.” Ngin Ngin nodded. “Nice surprise. Not enough food for you, but you can have tea. Is Lewis here?”
Mom shook her head. “I just came to bring Iris a few things and tell her about the date she has on Thursday.”
Iris nearly choked on her tea. “You set me up on a date? Well, I suppose I should be thankful you didn’t bring him over for a surprise visit today.”
“That didn’t work out so well last time,” Mom said stiffly.
“Why can’t you get it through your head? I don’t want to be set up with anyone!”
“I told you about Ivan already, didn’t I?” Mom continued, acting like she hadn’t heard Iris. “Your date is at Lemongrass. Seven o’clock. Don’t be late. I’ll show you a picture so you can recognize him. He’s cute, I think.”
Iris vibrated with rage. “I’m not going on this date, and Lemongrass is a crappy restaurant anyway. Restaurants that serve Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, Japanese, and Korean food all together are always suspicious. They’re for white people who don’t know any better.”
“Well, Ivan is white. The restaurant was his mother’s idea, but I can change it if you have a better suggestion.”
“Like I said, I’m not going.”
“It’s just a first date. It doesn’t mean you have to marry him. I didn’t interfere in your dating life for the longest time, but now you’re twenty-seven and—”
“And, what? I don’t owe it to you to get married. I’m happy with my life the way it is.”
“You certainly don’t sound happy right now.”
“Because you’re trying to get me to do something I don’t want to do!” Iris was tired of repeating herself.
“Aiyah,” Ngin Ngin said. “Iris, why don’t you tell your mother the truth? You don’t want a date with Ivan because you already have a boyfriend.”
“I do not have a boyfriend!”
Mom looked at Iris, then Ngin Ngin.
“She brought him over for dinner,” Ngin Ngin said. “Nice Chinese man named Alex. Not a neurosurgeon or proctologist, but I think he’s good. Very handsome.”
Iris put her head in her hands. She could not deal with her mother and grandmother at the same time. Frankly, she was surprised Ngin Ngin hadn’t told her mom about Alex sooner. Like the very next morning.
“Iris had a man over for dinner,” Mom said slowly. “A man she chose herself, and you say he’s nice?”
“Yes, he’s polite. I told him stories about when Iris was little.”
Mom looked like she still couldn’t wrap her mind around this. She was probably thinking of the heavily-tattooed man she’d seen at Iris’s old apartment at ten o’clock in the morning, a man whom Mom would certainly not describe as polite, though he’d actually been quite considerate.
“Iris tells me repeatedly he’s not her boyfriend,” Ngin Ngin said, “but she’s just being silly. Two nights, she didn’t come home until the next day. I know she was with him. And why would she bring him to meet me unless she likes him very much?”
Dear God. This was too much. Iris massaged her temples.
Mom turned toward her. “Is this all true?”
“Yes,” Iris said glumly. “Except for the part about him being my boyfriend. Just because it was more than a one-night stand doesn’t mean he’s my boyfriend.”
“But it started with a one-night stand,” Ngin Ngin said. “Iris told me this. Then they discovered they’re working together. Like plot of Harlequin romance!”
Well, Ngin Ngin’s memory was certainly intact, despite her age.
Mom’s eyes widened. “I can’t believe you brought him to meet your grandmother before your parents.”
“Oh, God,” Iris said. “Are you jealous of Ngin Ngin? Get over it, Mom.”
Mom sniffed. “I’m your mother, and I hadn’t even heard about this man until five minutes ago. Why don’t you tell me anything?”
“Because he’s not my boyfriend.”
“Then why did you bring him to meet Ngin Ngin?”
“Because his mother’s dead, and I thought he would enjoy meeting someone who was motherly and fussed over him. It’s just him, his dad, and his brother now.”
“And you chose your grandmother rather than your own mother.”
“Less pressure, and I live with Ngin Ngin. But it’s no big deal. Because, like I said, he’s not my boyfriend!”
“It’s so complicated these days,” Ngin Ngin said. “One-night stand, friend with benefit...all these terms. Anyway, Carolyn, I think Iris cares for this man very much, even if she’s confused on terms. You should cancel the date with Ivan.”
“Alex and I are over,” Iris said, despite the pain the words caused her. “It was just a fling, and now it’s over.”
“So I shouldn’t cancel the date with Ivan?” Mom asked.
“Yes, you should! You should stop this silly matchmaking of yours, but not because I’m with Alex.”
“Why are you so against having a boyfriend?”
Iris felt like tearing out her hair.
Ngin Ngin frowned. “I don’t approve. Why are you and Alex over? He’s a nice man for you. He looks at you, how you say it? Adoringly. And you brought him to meet me. No matter what you say, I think it’s partly because you care for him.”
“Stop gloating,” Mom snapped. “I heard it the first time. She brought him to meet you and not me.”
“What? I’m not gloating. Aren’t you impressed I know this word? I learned it from the book I’m reading. It’s about—”
“That’s enough,” Iris said, scared that Ngin Ngin was going to say something about flogging and BDSM. “I refuse to go on a date with Ivan, and there’s nothing you can say to convince me otherwise. And Alex is not my boyfriend. I don’t know why nobody can get that through their heads when I keep saying it over and over.”
“I know what the problem is,” Ngin Ngin said. “You had lovers’ quarrel!”
“You can think whatever you like. I don’t care.”
“You really are pissy today,” Mom observed.
Iris didn’t feel like proving her mother’s point, so she said nothing and started shoving her food—nearly cold by now—into her mouth.
“Fine,” Mom said. “I will leave. Iris, let me know when you’ve discovered those ‘hideous’ shorts actually look good on you. Since you’re so insistent, I will cancel your Thursday-night date with Ivan, though I really think you should reconsider.”
“No, she shouldn’t reconsider!” Ngin Ngin said. “She should solve lovers’ quarrel and have make-up sex with Alex.”
Mom glared at Iris. “I think those books you put on Ngin Ngin’s Kindle are a bad influence.”
“What you talking about?” Ngin Ngin demanded. “I’m an adult. I can decide what books I read. Iris, I’m leaving soon. Will be gone until five o’clock, so you can have Alex over. If you want him to stay for dinner, that’s okay. I’ll make good food for him.”
“Alex is not coming over,” Iris said, gritting her teeth. “Why is nobody listening to anything I say? And, Mom, if you’re going to stop by and try to force me to do things I don’t want to do, could you at least call beforehand so I have some warning?”
Mom sighed as she headed to the door. “Fine.”
Iris half-expected her to add, This is no way to treat your mother! But she didn’t.
Once Mom and Ngin Ngin were gone, Iris went to her bedroom and collapsed on her bed. She didn’t like fighting with her family, but what else could she do when they refused to listen?
She tried to push her family out of her mind and think about tomorrow. She’d never dreaded a conversation with her boss so much, but it was the right thing to do. If she didn’t tell him the truth, she’d feel like she didn’t have any integrity. What exactly should she say?
Her mind turned to Alex. What was he doing right now? Was he at the gym, building his muscles? Why was she suddenly experiencing a desperate urge to lick his abs?
God, she was such a mess.