24

 

At exactly 3:02, the doorbell rang.

“It’s open!” I yelled.

Maddie started barking like crazy, and I knew that it wasn’t just Leo or somebody else who came over all the time.

“Who’s there?” I shouted, but no one answered. Maddie kept barking, and suddenly I had to come up with a way to scare away a burglar while not getting up from the couch.

I was thinking over my strategy when I heard Leo yell, “It’s just us!”

Us?

I looked up and saw Leo come into the room. Behind him were Cathy Billows, Baxter Billows, Sam French, Kevin Kessler, Vanessa Cummings, and Jenny Zeilinksy.

“JACK!” Cathy shouted, shoving the high school newspaper into my hand. “You’re famous!”

I’d forgotten that the paper was distributed at the middle school, too. The headline was even bigger in print.

“Take a stand by taking a seat,” said Sam French, who up until that very moment had been way too cool to ever even look in my direction. “Pretty awesome, dude.”

“Completely,” agreed Jenny, whose long auburny-red hair had basically declared her off-limits to all but the lucky few. “I totally wish I thought of that.”

Leo sat down next to me. “These guys just wanted to come over and tell you in person how what you’re doing is so awesome,” he said. “That’s okay, right?”

I looked around at all the kids. This was the A-list. The cream of the crop. The future football captains and cheerleaders. The kings and queens of the jungle.

“Yeah, it’s great,” I said. “Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. I’d get it for you myself, but well, you know.”

When they all laughed at that lame joke like I was the funniest guy on the planet, I knew my life had changed forever.

Cathy came up to me. “You don’t look so hot, Jack,” she said, suddenly concerned about my well-being. “You look like you haven’t been outside in a week.”

“I haven’t,” I reminded her.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea!” announced Kevin Kessler, smacking his forehead just like animals do in cartoons when they have ideas. “We should, like, carry your couch outside!”

“Dude, that’s an awesome idea!” cried Sam, smacking his forehead, too, for no apparent reason.

What a couple of goofballs. But here’s the thing. It was an awesome idea.

In fact, it was such a good idea, I was mad that I hadn’t thought of it. Move the couch outside! It was brilliant! That way, I could still be on strike but be in the front yard, get some fresh air, and hang out with people in the neighborhood.

Then again, maybe I hadn’t thought of it because the couch was a little too heavy for my grandmother to lift.

I nodded. “Okay, but it’s going to be pretty heavy, because I have to stay on it while you move it. We can go through the screen porch because the door is super wide.”

“Take all the cushions and pillows off,” Leo instructed. Everyone did as they were told, because Leo got really good grades.

Cathy, Leo, and Kevin got on one side of the couch, with Baxter, Jenny, Sam, and Vanessa on the other.

Maddie started barking at them, like she thought it was a bad idea.

“And … up!” commanded Baxter.

Together everyone hoisted the couch (and me), and somehow they managed to stagger to the screen porch, just missing about three fancy vases on the way.

“Careful,” I said, nervously enjoying the ride.

“Yes, your highness,” muttered Leo.

We (okay, they) pushed ahead heroically. I couldn’t believe they were going to pull it off! I hadn’t been outside in five days.

Then Nana wandered in. “Jack, I’m going to take a quick nap—”

She saw us and almost dropped her juice. “What in the world—?”

“Oh, hi, Mrs. Kellerman!” Leo said, giving her a friendly wave.

He shouldn’t have done that.

See, the thing is, you need a hand to wave. Which means, he only had one hand on the couch. Which means, his side suddenly started tilting downward. Which means, the whole delicate balance was thrown off.

Which means, the couch came crashing down on Kevin Kessler’s foot.

Kevin yelled “OW!” so loud that Maddie got scared and bolted through the screen door, which unfortunately wasn’t open at the time. The screen popped out of the door, went flying backward, and crushed half of my mom’s prized rose bushes.

Then Maddie ran over the screen and trampled the other half.

We waited there for a minute to let Kevin work out his pain.

“Are you okay?” Vanessa finally said.

Kevin squinted and said, “Let’s get this frickin’ thing outside.”

Man, football players are tough. Even middle school football players.

Thirty seconds later, I was sitting on the couch in the bright mid-afternoon sun. It was glorious!

Nana followed us outside.

“Are you planning on sleeping out here?” she asked.

I answered with a shrug.

She sat down next to me. “Listen, kiddo, I’m your biggest fan, but I’m not sure about this maneuver.”

“I’m on strike, Nana!”

“I know you are, dear,” she said. “And I think that’s wonderful, as long as you don’t break the house.”