OPENING REFLECTION

Not too long after my daughter was born, I (Jenna) reached out to my cousin Dana for parenting advice. With four kids all grown and out of the house, she had years of parenting experience. I had days. I was desperate for her wisdom.

She sent me an email listing morsels of wisdom that I quickly gobbled up. She told me to be silly, get dirty, and play dress up. She told me to pray, pray, pray. She told me to sleep anytime I could and spend quality, uninterrupted time with my daughter.

And then there was this one: Find your poker face. When my daughter falls down and hurts herself, she will cry a lot less if I respond with a calm face rather than one that shows fear. Fast-forward fifteen years. She may walk in the door, tears running down her face, confessing something I thought my innocent baby girl could never do. If I respond with calmness, she may share more. But if I react in fear, she may retract.

Find your poker face and practice it, Dana wrote.

I have to admit I was once that fifteen-year-old girl, confessing something my parents never imagined I would do. And I’ll never forget my dad’s response. He didn’t react with yelling or instant punishment. Instead, he calmly held me as I cried. He reassured me of his love for me. And then he did something interesting. He told me to promise him that if I ever found myself in a similar situation again, to call him and he would come and pick me up. Dad knew the trial would probably resurface, and when it did, he wanted to be with me.

The calmness of my dad’s response was contagious. My fifteen-year-old self calmed down. I knew I could share anything with him and still be loved.

We have a heavenly Father who is with us through every trial. And he invites you and me to talk to him about each one. So the next time you look into the face of a problem, look into the face of your Father. He will never react with impatience or condemnation. Only gentleness.

TALK ABOUT IT

To kick off this second session, discuss one of the following questions:

• Think of someone in your life who is contagiously calm. How does that person display gentleness even during tense times?

or

• What challenge is testing your gentleness right now? What strategies have you used to stay calm during this challenge? Have they worked?

If time permits, discuss the following questions related to the last session:

• Last time, we discussed Paul’s first prescription for anxiety: rejoicing in the Lord always. How has this antidote brought you more peace since the last time your group met?

• If you participated in the C.A.L.M. personal study, what were some things you learned about yourself? Maybe you engaged in the “Take Action!” portion of the personal study. If so, how did it go? Take a minute to share.

HEARING THE WORD

Read John 6:1–13 aloud as a group (or ask a volunteer to do so). Try to look at these words with new eyes and an open heart. Then read it again silently, circling or underlining words that stand out to you.

Some time after this, Jesus crossed to the far shore of the Sea of Galilee (that is, the Sea of Tiberias), and a great crowd of people followed him because they saw the signs he had performed by healing the sick. Then Jesus went up on a mountainside and sat down with his disciples. The Jewish Passover Festival was near.

When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.

Philip answered him, “It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!”

Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up, “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?”

Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.” There was plenty of grass in that place, and they sat down (about five thousand men were there). Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.” So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten.

Turn to the person next to you and take turns sharing your answers to the following questions:

What was one thing that stood out to you from the Scripture?

[Your Response Here]

Why do these words stand out to you, and what fresh insight do they bring?

[Your Response Here]

In verse 6, Jesus tested Philip by asking where to buy bread for all the people. What was Jesus testing? Does Jesus still test our hearts today by putting large tasks in front of us? Explain your thoughts.

[Your Response Here]

VIDEO TEACHING NOTES

Play the video segment for session two. As you watch, use the following outline to record any thoughts or concepts that stand out to you.

We can choose to pick up every disappointment, stress, or frustration that is tossed our way, or we can choose to not pick up that garbage in the first place.

[Your Response Here]

We not only have the choice of how we will perceive trials, but we also have a choice as to how we will react to them.

[Your Response Here]

The Greek word for gentleness in Philippians 4:5 describes a temperament that is seasoned and mature. A gentle person is level-headed and reacts to stress with steadiness and fairness.

[Your Response Here]

Contagiously calm people trust that God is always in control and encourage others around them that everything will be okay.

[Your Response Here]

How can we exude gentleness in tough times? By looking at Paul’s promise in Philippians 4:5: “The Lord is near.”

[Your Response Here]

When we believe the lie that God has left us, our loneliness amplifies the problem. That’s why we have to clutch the truth of God’s nearness with both hands.

[Your Response Here]

In the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand, his disciples never asked him for help. Instead, they decided the problem was too big and told the Creator of the world what to do.

[Your Response Here]

When we face a problem, instead of starting with what we have, let’s remember what Jesus has. He is with us and will give us everything we need to overcome our difficulties.

[Your Response Here]

BIBLE STUDY AND GROUP DISCUSSION

Take a few minutes with your group members to discuss what you just watched and explore these concepts in Scripture.

1. Before everyone shares in the large group, turn to one or two people next to you and finish this sentence: “After watching the video, one question I now have is . . .”

[Your Response Here]

2. Read aloud Exodus 3:7–12. What fear does Moses express to God in verse 11? How does God respond in verse 12?

[Your Response Here]

Does God’s response answer Moses’s question directly, or is there a deeper fear God is addressing? Explain.

[Your Response Here]

3. Have different people in your group read aloud the following passages: Genesis 15:1; Deuteronomy 31:8; Joshua 1:9; and Isaiah 43:2. What is God’s promise in each verse? What common theme do you see running through these verses?

[Your Response Here]

4. Again and again throughout his Word, God promises to be with us. Think about a time when God’s presence calmed you in the middle of a storm. How did God’s presence change you emotionally, spiritually, and/or physically?

[Your Response Here]

5. Paul says the key to finding gentleness is believing that God is near. However, just like Jesus’ disciples, we easily forget he is with us and waiting to help us. What are some things that prevent you from not only knowing but also believing God is near?

[Your Response Here]

When have you, like the disciples, faced a trial and took actions into your own hands before turning to the Lord?

[Your Response Here]

6. Have three group members read passages aloud: Galatians 5:22–25; Philippians 2:13; and 2 Peter 1:3. What promise is given in each of these verses?

[Your Response Here]

According to these promises, where is your source of calmness? How does this alleviate the burden to conjure up calmness on your own?

[Your Response Here]

7. Jesus tells us there will always be troubles in life. But we have the choice to respond to those troubles with gentleness or with frustration. Considering the biblical promises just read, what specific steps can you take to respond calmly instead of react sharply when anxieties weigh heavily on your shoulders?

[Your Response Here]

8. In John 16:33, Jesus says, “Take heart! I have overcome the world.” How did Jesus overcome the entire world? What has Jesus overcome in your personal world?

[Your Response Here]

GROUP ACTIVITY

For this activity, each participant will need his or her smartphone/cell phone or a sticky note.

In today’s session, you saw how your reaction to worry can be so deeply engrained within you that it might take time to retrain your mind and attitudes. To help you do this, set a daily reminder on your smartphone or cell phone: something as simple as, “God is with me,” or a promise from Scripture such as Philippians 4:5, “The Lord is near.”

If you do not have this capability on your smartphone/cell phone, that’s all right! Try writing down a Bible verse about God’s presence on a sticky note and place it somewhere you’ll see it frequently. The goal is to find any way to daily remind yourself that God is near.

When your group reconvenes, talk about the reminders you set for yourself and whether or not they helped you face your day differently.

CLOSING PRAYER

Wrap up this time by talking to the Father. Your group may want to begin the prayer time by reading aloud the comforting words of Isaiah 41:10:

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Now pray for one another. Split up into groups of two or three or circle up and pray for the person next to you. No matter how you structure it, here are a few suggestions of ways to pray for one another:

• Confess a trial you tend to react to with fear or frustration. Pray specifically that God’s fruit of gentleness will overcome this negative tendency.

• Ask God to help you remember his nearness and to squelch the enemy’s lie that he has forsaken you.

• Use the Isaiah passage you just read to declare its promises and/or truth over the person you are praying for. (You can insert the person’s name into the verse or simply ask that the truth of this verse would be true in his or her life.)