“There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You’ll never quite know where they’ll take you.”
—BEATRIX POTTER
Hooks are critical to a book on many levels. A hook is what draws the reader in and keeps them there. It’s the premise. It’s a promise to the reader. It allows for the all-important impulse buy. It demands the reader keep flipping pages until they reach the end.
A book bought is a beautiful thing.
A book read is a holy thing.
When you deliver on a hook, you satisfy a reader. That means they’ll buy more of your books. It’s also important in this era of marketing and promotion. Hooks were one of the elements picked by best-selling authors as a trademark secret to keep hitting best-seller lists. By deconstructing the power of a hook, we can see how it affects readers and propels them forward.
Jabs are also important in keeping the story moving. A jab warms up the reader for the all-important right hook. Together, a book is stronger when combining these two elements.
Let’s compare a book to a boxing match. As I’ve seen every Rocky movie multiple times, along with Cinderella Man, The Champ, and Southpaw, I think I’m qualified to use this metaphor. We’ll name one boxer the protagonist and the other the antagonist. No boxer comes out with the knockout punch. That would just be stupid. Instead, they begin with warm-up jabs, dancing on their feet, and experimenting with punches so they get an idea of the opponent’s strengths and weaknesses.
The audience knows and anticipates such foreplay. They are usually patient enough to allow the two opponents to find their ground and build their offense and defense.
Now, if nothing ever happened except dancing and minor jabs, the audience would boo. They’d get angry. They bought tickets to watch action and drama, and to root for the underdog or the champion. They have an emotional investment in that boxing ring, and there’s no satisfaction if they don’t get what they paid for.
Finally, the audience holds their breath as the punches increase. The antagonist lands a wicked jab. Then another. Blood flows, and the protagonist stumbles, weakening under the attack. But the protagonist refuses to go down. Spying an opening, and, in a whirling flash, the protagonist pulls back his arm and lets the right hook fly. Bones crack, and the antagonist staggers back.
The audience roars. They want more. Always more.
The final punch is usually a thing of grace and beauty. Whipped into a frenzy, the crowd waits for the knockout punch. And when they get it, they are finally happy, because the antagonist is the one lying beaten on the ground.
Think of your book as a boxing match. As an unknown author, you’re asking the reader to take a chance on your book (more so than an author the reader already knows and likes). Your hook is clearly alluded to in your packaging. The title, the book jacket blurb, the cover art. The reader pauses to consider these things before making a decision to buy a book.
Maybe there’s an author blurb that is intriguing. A few reviews written by authors she knows. Maybe the cover art caught her attention.
She flips to the first page, scans the words. Whether you open with a gunshot, a sex scene, or a quiet reflection from the character, it doesn’t matter. That first page must hook the reader. It must make him want to keep reading, to flip to the next page.
What kind of writing does that?
Action. Or conflict. Rip away your character’s security on the first page and send her spiraling.
Or tease the reader with wispy words of description and thought that immediately tie him to the character, urging him to find out more.
Use emotional scenes to grab and take hold.
It simply doesn’t matter where you want to begin as long as it’s interesting. What makes writing interesting? Emotion. Intrigue. Can you back up the promise that your blurb and title make right away, on page one? That’s even better.
My novel Searching for Always pits a cynical alpha cop against a Zen yoga instructor.
My opening line: Officer Stone Petty was having a shit day.
My reader immediately knows my hero will be rough around the edges. The tone of voice sets the stage and pulls the reader into his crappy day. We are grounded in his profession, his voice, and his thoughts. And I’ve made a promise concerning what my reader should expect right away, on page one. I continue to bait the reader with mini hooks throughout the chapters, pulling them toward the finish.
Here are some more examples of first lines:
Daisy Devreaux had forgotten her bridegroom’s name.
—Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Kiss An Angel
This is a marriage of convenience that sets the stage with a quick hook.
It wasn’t a very likely place for disappearances, at least at first glance.
—Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
This is an epic, historical adventure waiting to be unveiled with the mysterious hook.
When the sun dipped low in the sky, dripping the last of its fire, the children huddled together to hear the next part of the tale.
—Nora Roberts, Dance of the Gods
This is the promise of an epic tale. A reader holds her breath from the very first line, waiting.
I was born beautiful.
—Emily Giffin, Something Blue
This first line sets up our relationship with the heroine—we are promised to love and hate her, and we’re immediately intrigued.
Each of these first lines is masterfully crafted to promote the promised hook. Plant quick jabs in each chapter to keep the storytelling sharp and compel readers to continue. This includes teasing the reader with a secret, or dropping a fascinating revelation about a character, or setting the stage for conflict. A boxer needs to keep moving and dancing to avoid punches. This is when you give your story the necessary breathing room. When your reader is once again soothed, keep her off balance by a surprise uppercut—send them down a false road, throw in a blistering love scene, or force your character to experience some uncomfortable growth. When your reader is holding her breath, turning the pages, it’s time for big action.
Hit her with the right hook.
This is not the ending. It’s the black moment—the crescendo of conflict where your hero and heroine break up, are forced apart, or begin to doubt the future of their relationship. It may be simple, but it must be epic. You must convince the reader that there is no hope, though the reader is promised a happily-ever-after. The book will be a safe place for a reader to experience all the messy, raw emotions of relationships.
Make sure you strip away every last barrier to your hero or heroine. Leave them naked and bleeding, walking in front of a crowd of strangers. Think of Queen Cersei’s epic scene in A Game of Thrones.
The arrogant Queen, who viewers love to hate, is sentenced to prison for sins against the Church. She refuses to yield but eventually realizes she must be free in order to help her son, the King, who is back at home in the castle. She decides to take the deal the Church offers in exchange for release: She must atone for her sins.
First the Queen is dragged outside and stripped of her clothes. Her long hair is shorn off, and she is shoved into the streets, forced to walk the long roads leading back to the castle. Massive crowds line the roads—shouting, throwing rocks, and insulting her in vicious fashion. The surging chant of “Shame!” fills the air. Her feet and naked body are bloodied, and humiliation is etched permanently in her psyche as she walks for what seems like hours to both the Queen and the audience.
Every viewer squirms with discomfort at the degradation and vulnerability she suffers. Though she is evil, the writer is able to construct a scene in which we feel sorry for her. He has built a character rich with layers. Queen Cersei is both interesting and dynamic.
Give that same depth to your characters. Then put her in a point of no return situation.
Then fix it.
Then save her.
Let’s take my book, Searching for Always, and break down the boxing match.
I showed you the first line of the hook. My hero is eventually mandated to attend anger management classes, where my heroine is the teacher. Though they’re complete opposites, they’re attracted to one another. Stone is also holding back a secret about his past that my heroine is trying to uncover in order to help him deal with anger issues.
After the hook, I present a series of sharp jabs. This scene takes place during a counseling session that dredges up a painful event for my hero, keeping the reader engaged to learn the truth.
“You think I’m a chump asking these questions. You think I’m easily manipulated,” she said.
“I never said any of those things.”
“Didn’t have to. Who else were you protecting?”
He blinked. “Just told you. Me. My mother.”
Her voice softened, deepening to a velvety, soothing itch, urging him to spill all his secrets. “I think there’s someone else. Another person in the house. A foster brother or sister? A friend? You got used to dealing with your father’s rage until he went after someone new.” She leaned forward, gaze locked on him with a sense of urgency. Within those emerald depths lay a vastness of understanding and gentleness he’d never been on the receiving end of. “Who was it, Stone?”
He jerked back. He’d gotten bashed in the face with a baseball bat and refused to cry. There was so much inside scarred up and dead he was grateful he never had to revisit. But Arilyn’s final question stole his breath and drew blood.
He was done.
Stone stood up. “This is bullshit,” he stated quietly. “I told you before I’ll be straight with you, but don’t dick around in my head and think you won’t get hurt.”
She never flinched. Just studied him for a long time, their gazes locked in a battle, until she slowly nodded. “I apologize. I went too deep, too fast. Why don’t you sit back down and we’ll talk about something else.”
Who did she think she was? A yoga teacher turned matchmaker playing at being a therapist? She led a charmed life and had no idea of the harsh realities in the world. She controlled her reality while she viewed others through a set of rosy glasses so she could avoid the true mess. Breathing. Meditating. Helping animals. Even with a broken relationship behind her, she pretended to understand and transcend, citing a higher purpose and acceptance she didn’t really feel.
It was a bunch of crap.
Maybe it was time she knew what it felt like to have her safe bubble ripped away.
This jab was critical in hinting at Stone’s secret, and developing another layer of conflict within their relationship. Stone Petty believes he is not worthy of a strong, healthy relationship. I continue jabbing the reader, leading up to the right hook, a scene where Stone breaks up with the heroine, and gives away Pinky, the rescue dog he’s fallen in love with—a dog who’s gone through hell and back, who’s started to love and trust again. It was a double rejection, and I had a hard time writing it. Stone had screwed up big time and betrayed the ones who loved him. Here’s a peek:
“Come to bed with me.”
The invitation was more than physical. It was an askance of the next step for them both.
Stone pulled back and stared at her beautiful face. Stroked her swollen lips. Cupped her cheeks. Kissed her again.
“I can’t Arilyn. I can’t do this.”
Pain and grief flickered in those green eyes. “You can. You’re choosing not to try.”
“I’m choosing not to disappoint you. It’s better this way. You’re better off without me.”
She pushed him away and he let her. He got himself together and when he came back, she was frozen in place, her arms wrapped around her chest, squeezing tight, as if desperate for warmth. Something broke inside of him and Stone realized he’d never be whole again. Still, he didn’t reach for her.
He believed he was doing the right thing. Better now than later. Better now before it was too much for both of them.
He stopped at the door. “I’ll bring Pinky over in the morning.”
Her words were cold and deliberate. “Don’t. I’m asking you to keep her, Stone. You don’t have to be there for me. I’ve learned I’m strong and can heal. But Pinky needs to believe in something, and for now, that’s you. If you let her go, you’ll break her heart. And she may not heal from that.”
His eyes burned as he reached for the knob. “I’ll think about it.”
I deliver two right hooks back to back in this book. In the next scene, Stone decides to give the dog back, and the break with Arilyn is final. Pinky’s pitiful whines as he leaves haunt the reader. This is where everything has been lost. You must pull every safety net from the reader and leave her devastated. This is the only way your final knockout becomes an epic moment.
When he finally realizes he’s been a total asshole and tries to get both Pinky and Arilyn back, the heroine turns him away. The rescue dog has been returned to the shelter, so it won’t be easy for him to fix things. In a showdown with the animal shelter manager, he finally gets the dog back and is forgiven. He shows up with Pinky and begs Arilyn’s forgiveness. Because the dog was strong enough to forgive Stone, the heroine decides to give him another chance.
You must leave readers reeling with the right hook. Every jab leads up to the black moment.
Make it a knockout, and win the match.
You’ll gain a reader for life.
Take the story you’re working on and examine the black moment. Check for jabs, and the all-important right hook. Is it powerful enough? Can you pump up the intensity? Add more jabs throughout your chapter? Leave ending hooks or sentences at the end of every chapter?
Perform a thorough analysis and try to write at least one revision that makes the black moment more important to your reader.