43

Determination

‘“Begin at the beginning,” the King said gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”’

Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

You must take a firm stand. An obstacle of some kind has to be overcome. It will not disappear of its own accord. Matters have reached a point where allowing them to drift on would involve you in an unacceptable compromise. You must be quite clear in your own mind that the situation has to change and be determined to do something about it. But it is essential to proceed with caution. Make sure you know what you are up against. Do not over-react or go on the offensive. It will not serve your purposes to trigger a hostile attitude in others. Be courteous but firm. Although you must make your views plain, try to do so in a way which causes minimum offence. Keep a balanced perspective. If the issue is one of difficulties in a close relationship, nothing will be gained by either party blaming the other. Make sure that grievances are given a thorough airing. Then be determined to put the past behind you.

An opportunity for personal growth

If you are objecting to somebody else’s behaviour, check first that it is not a case of the pot calling the kettle black. Otherwise you will simply be giving whoever is involved ammunition to use against you. If you are quite certain that the problem lies outside yourself, go ahead and tackle it. If not, then look first at the role you yourself have played in the matter. Make a resolution not to gloss over your own shortcomings. Use them as a basis for further self-development. But do not become obsessed with your weak spots. It is much better for your confidence to focus instead on developing your strengths. This will enable you to make a positive contribution to the situation. If you have an open mind, you will find much to learn.

Further aspects of the situation

NINE AT THE BEGINNING

However determined you may be, you are not strong enough to tackle the problem head-on. Be cautious. Keep well within your limits. If you over-estimate your capabilities, you could seriously jeopardize your position.

NINE IN THE SECOND PLACE

Be on the alert for signs of trouble. Difficulties could arise at any time. If you are prepared to meet them, your position will be safe.

NINE IN THE THIRD PLACE

It is up to you to cope with a disruptive force in the way you think best. Others may misunderstand your approach. But as long as you know the reasons for what you are doing, you will emerge unscathed.

NINE IN THE FOURTH PLACE

It will not serve your best interests to insist on doing things in your own way. If you would only be less stubborn and more willing to listen to good advice, the situation could be satisfactorily resolved.

NINE IN THE FIFTH PLACE

Be determined not to give up the struggle against persistent difficulties. You need to get down to the roots of the problem and deal with those. However you decide to go about this, be sure to act with integrity.

SIX AT THE TOP

On the surface, it looks as though the problems are resolved. You may now be tempted to relax your guard. But do not delude yourself. There are still lurking difficulties. You cannot afford to be lulled into a false sense of security.