Chapter Twenty-One
The carriage arrived at the Lodge just hours later. The sun had melted most of the light snowfall; only those patches in the shade remained. Anne stepped out of the carriage and was suddenly surrounded by her sisters. She spotted Nathaniel watching the reunion, his face shuttered.
Juliet hugged her close. “Anne! Are you all right?”
“What happened to Mr. Worth?” Sophia asked.
“He’s with the magistrate. And I’m fine. Nathaniel got there in time.” Anne smiled over at him. He dismounted and led his horse to the stables, ignoring her. Her shoulders slumped.
“Anne, what’s happened?” Sophia whispered. “I thought you would have made up by now.”
“Come inside and I’ll tell you. I have great news,” Anne said in a low voice. She led Sophia and Juliet into the house.
Lady Danford was waiting in the entrance hall. “Anne! You’ve come back to us.” She enveloped Anne in her arms. “I was so worried.”
“I’m fine, thanks to Nathaniel and John.”
“Well, upstairs with you. Change your clothes and rest. You’ve earned it.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” Anne led her sisters to her room. Once the door was closed she reached for the pouch in her pocket. “Look what I found at the cottage.” She opened the bag and dumped the contents on the bed.
“It’s Mother’s jewelry!” Sophia whispered. “Where did you find it?”
“In the rubble of the cottage, right before Mr. Worth kidnapped me.” Anne spread the jewels out on the bed. “I hid the pouch in my pocket.”
“There’s a fortune here,” Juliet said with awe.
“We can go to Bath or London. You can both have a Season in Town if that’s what you want. No more scrimping and saving. No more being a companion. We are free.” Anne tried to put as much enthusiasm in her voice as she could without it sounding false. The truth was that she didn’t want Bath or London anymore. Not without Nathaniel.
Sophia set the ruby necklace down. “Is this what you want, Anne? That we all go away together?”
Anne looked away from the question in Sophia’s eyes. “It’s the opportunity we’ve wanted.”
“What about Nathaniel?” Juliet asked. “I rather thought you’d marry him.”
Anne was quiet as she gathered up the jewels and placed them back into the velvet pouch. “He hasn’t asked again.” And isn’t likely to. She wished he’d talk to her. Tell her what was going through his head. Everything had been fine until she showed him the jewels.
“What happened last night?” Sophia asked. “You didn’t reject him again, did you?”
Anne gave Sophia a pointed look, but said nothing.
“Juliet, time to go,” Sophia said, grabbing her arm to help her to the door.
“Why do you get to stay?” Juliet protested.
“Because I’m older.”
Juliet stood and stomped her way to the door. “It’s not fair!”
“Life’s not fair,” Sophia said as she tried to push Juliet out the door.
“Juliet can stay,” Anne said. “She’s going to hear most of it anyway when the gossips get hold of it.”
Juliet stuck her tongue out at her sister and perched on the bed. “Tell all, Anne. Don’t leave a single thing out.”
Anne blushed. “There isn’t much to tell. I escaped Mr. Worth. Nathaniel found me on the side of the road. It was snowing and so cold.”
Sophia looked at her expectantly. “And?”
“He took me to an inn for the night.”
“And?” Juliet said, waggling her eyebrows.
“Juliet!” Anne felt the color creep into her face. “And nothing”
“I’m young, not mad, Anne.”
“Perhaps you should check those books she’s always got her face buried in,” Sophia said. “So did he propose? Again?”
Anne’s face fell. “No. I think I’ve ruined everything.”
Sophia squeezed Anne’s hand. “He loves you.”
“I’ve hurt him, continuously. I was so excited about finding the jewels and what it would mean for you and Juliet, I didn’t think about how it would make him feel.”
“But you let him, uh, I mean, he was with you all night, yes?” Sophia said.
“Yes.”
“What was it like? Did it hurt?” Juliet asked.
Anne’s face flamed. “It was—I don’t know how to express it. He was . . . tender.”
Sophia hugged her. “He’ll come around. You’ll see. He just needs time.”
“I hope so.”
“Perhaps you should prod him. Show a little initiative. Propose to him,” Juliet added.
“I don’t know,” Anne said. She’d never be brave enough to do that.
“What if you are with child, Anne? You’ll have to tell Nathaniel.”
Part of her hoped for a baby, but the other part of her dreaded having to tell Nathaniel. What if he went back to London and had no intention of asking her to marry him? Anne rubbed her forehead. Things were such a mess.
“He loves you, Anne. I know it. I’ve seen how he looks at you. Just give it time,” Sophia said.
Anne nodded but looked away. She had ruined it.
Her constant refusals because of the dratted wish and her selfish response to finding the jewels had driven him away.
Nathaniel threw himself into his work. Another packet from London needing his immediate attention had arrived. He barely left the library, even taking trays there instead of eating with the family.
He didn’t go to her room either. He wasn’t sleeping. He just lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling, wishing she were with him, wrapped around him.
He added another letter to the growing stack on the desk. A half-eaten sandwich sat on a plate beside him. Empty brandy glasses littered the desk.
“Good Lord, it smells in here,” Lady Danford said, coming into the room and closing the door behind her. “Has the maid been in to clean?”
“I’m working,” Nathaniel said, not looking up. The last thing he wanted was his grandmother’s interference.
“Well, then I guess I should leave you alone, except that you need to get out of this room. It has been three days.” Lady Danford opened the curtains, bathing the room in light. “That’s better.” She turned back to him. “You look like hell. When was the last time you slept? Bathed? Had a decent meal like a decent person?”
Nathaniel refused to look up at her. He scanned the letter in front of him. “I have a great deal of work to do.”
“Son, just ask her to marry you.”
He carefully set down the quill, blotted the page before him and set it aside. Finally, he looked up. “For the first time in Anne Townsend’s life, she has the freedom she desires. She doesn’t have to marry for money. She can give her sisters what they all want—a Season. She deserves this freedom.”
“That is bloody nonsense. You love her and she you.”
“She’s never said that.”
“Have you?”
“Have I what?”
“Told her you loved her.”
He set his jaw, refusing to answer.
“I never took you for an idiot.” Lady Danford turned to leave the room. “If you let this one get away, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
“Thank you, Grandmother.”
“Just do me a favor and bathe. And I expect you at dinner tonight. No more hiding in this cave.”
“I’m not hiding.”
“Aren’t you?” she said as she closed the door.
Nathaniel started back on his paperwork only to be interrupted again, this time by Sir John. “Now what?”
“I want to know what you plan to do with my sister,” Sir John said. “She’s moping around and you are testy.”
“This is none of your concern,” Nathaniel growled.
“She’s my sister. What are your intentions?”
“Sir John, I’ve already proposed and she has refused.”
“But that was before.”
“Before?”
“Before she discovered the jewels. Surely, you plan on proposing again.”
“I’ve not decided.”
“Look, Matthews, everyone knows how you feel about her. She’s obviously in love with you.”
How can everyone be so certain she loves me? “How do you know that?”
“You are being a fool, Matthews. She’s spent the night in your bed. Do you really think she’d do that without love? She’s just not that kind of woman.”
“I suggest you drop the subject, Townsend.” Nathaniel pulled the papers back in front of him. “Leave now.”
“Fine. I’m done, for now, but you’d better decide what you are going to do. The gossip has hit the town in the worst way.”
Sir John slammed the door hard enough to rattle the windows. Nathaniel picked up the next letter and his pen, determined to focus on something else. Anything else, but Anne Townsend.
Five minutes later he threw the pen and paper down in disgust and cradled his head in his hands. What was he going to do to fix this? There weren’t enough pieces of his heart left after the last three rejections. He just didn’t know if he could survive another one, but he didn’t think he could live without her, either.
Anne had spent the same three days pacing in front of the library doors while Nathaniel was holed up inside. She missed him. He hadn’t come to her room once since they’d returned from her adventure. He wasn’t at dinner. He wasn’t at lunch.
He never left the bloody library.
Laborers had started to tear down what was left of the cottage. She had walked out to watch, hoping to find something of value to save, but she found nothing.
Nathaniel hadn’t come to watch. He didn’t come to comfort her. She had stood there all by herself as they carted away her past.
It had been a long five years, but good ones. She and her sisters had survived and now they wouldn’t have to scrimp and save.
Fine. We’ll all be fine.
She was going to have to find a new way to feel fine now that Nathaniel was avoiding her. The thought of him moving on, of seeing each other only as acquaintances at parties in Town, tore at her heart. Being fine meant coping with the pain of losing him.
“Anne, what are you doing here?” Sophia said, coming upon her in front of the ruins of the cottage.
“I wanted to see if there was anything further to salvage,” she said. “There wasn’t.”
“It’s like a piece of our lives is now gone, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but think of it. We’ll have ball gowns and day dresses,” Anne said with a smile that she hoped passed for genuine excitement.
“You don’t care about all that nonsense. That doesn’t make you happy.”
I’ll learn to care, damn it. I’ll be happy again.
“I think you should go into that library and demand that he make things right,” Sophia said.
“I can’t do that! What if he said no?”
“What if he said yes? Take a chance on something, Anne.”
Anne shook her head. “Has he said when he will leave for London?”
“Neither John nor Tony has mentioned it. He seems to be throwing himself into his work. He needs to make this right! If you’re with child, he’ll have to make it right.”
“If I am, I’ll deal with it. I had always planned to live quietly in the country after you and Juliet married.”
“You never planned to marry?”
“I really didn’t expect to be asked.”
“He’s asked you several times and you’ve refused him. He may not ask again.”
“I wouldn’t blame him. I have treated him terribly, and all because of that stupid wish. Who knew Cecil Worth had orchestrated the whole thing.”
“What does it matter, Anne?” Sophia took her arm and led her toward the woods. “I cannot believe you would throw love away as if it were rubbish.” Sophia picked up a stick and toyed with it. She looked up at the sky. “We’ll have snow again before long. Nathaniel will have to leave soon. Do you really want that?”
Anne’s time was running out. “No.”
Sophia glared at her sister. “Think hard, Anne, about what you really want. Nathaniel Matthews loves you. He was frantic when he found you gone.”
“He’s never said that.”
“You are an idiot. A man may spout poetry, sing the praises of your beauty, and yet have as little feeling for you as this twig.”
Anne laughed. “You are talking about Tony.”
“Such a grand passion that turned out to be. I thought he was my ticket out of Beetham. Thank God you found the jewels.”
“I imagine Juliet is relieved. She’s rather fond of him. So you’ve spoken with Tony?”
“Yes. We both agreed that we are ill suited to each other. I miss his attentions, but I’m glad for it.”
“There is someone out there for you, I’m sure of it.”
“I plan on cutting a swath through London before I settle. I’m so looking forward to our time in society. I’m sick of the country,” Sophia said with a smile.
“Lady Danford insists we stay with her in Town.”
“She will know best how to present us to society.”
Anne felt her eyes well. “I wish he’d talk to me. Tell me.”
“I suggest you take your walk up to the Fairy Steps and see what the fairies tell you. Perhaps you can get a wish to bring him up to scratch.”
“Magic doesn’t exist, but some time to myself would be welcome. It’s been so hectic of late.”
“Go. I’ll make excuses for you at tea.”
Anne found herself following the old path through the woods to the steps. At the base she looked up. The sky and stone were the same gray color. Autumn was gone, along with its bright colors. Winter, with its heavy skies and snow, tinted the landscape like a charcoal drawing.
She loved these woods so much. They had listened to her hopes and dreams for five years now.
The bare trees waved in the cold breeze that cut through the heavy wool of her cloak. She climbed the steps carefully, holding on to the sides. There was no point now risking life and limb to climb them.
Reaching the top, she sat on a stone, wrapping her cloak around her. The village of Beetham lay before her. Smoke rose from the chimneys and scented the air.
Fairies and magic were the stuff of children. Anne had thought herself so mature, but she had to admit to being romantic, a part of her nature she hadn’t known existed.
She closed her eyes, remembering Nathaniel’s face as he lay sleeping beside her. She could watch him sleep for hours, and had, afraid he would suddenly wake up and decide that he didn’t want her.
She had wasted an opportunity for love because she couldn’t believe that someone like him would want her. Why shouldn’t he? There wasn’t anything wrong with her.
As she thought of their time together, she realized that Nathaniel was trying to make her see the person he saw. Anne had gotten so comfortable with being the plain sister.
But that was changing. He had changed her. Nathaniel had shown her that she was worth so much more, that she deserved to be loved. She squeezed her eyes shut.
She’d thrown it all away.
She wished the damn fairy would show up again. This time she’d wish for a proposal and would be ready with a different answer when it came.
Nathaniel stared out the window. He had watched Anne walk to the cottage alone, then saw Sophia follow. The cottage was being torn down that afternoon. He had expected her to be there, to watch the end of this phase of her life.
He spotted Sophia coming back from the woods alone. She waved at him. He raised a hand and hurriedly unlatched the library door to let her in.
“Where is Anne?” He tried to keep emotion from his voice, but it crept in anyway.
“At the Fairy Steps, I suspect.”
“They have finished at the cottage?” When Sophia nodded, he hesitated, then continued. “How did Anne handle it?”
“She is excited that we are to have a Season and for the change that is occurring. She is a bit sad to lose the cottage. Of all of us, she loved the country the most.”
“So she would prefer to stay here?” He had always wondered if that were the case with Anne. If she hates London, how would we get along?
“You’ll have to ask her that question yourself. Go to her, Nathaniel. Ask her again.”
“I couldn’t survive another negative response,” Nathaniel said. “If she doesn’t love me—”
“You two are a pair, both of you whining that the other one doesn’t love you. Good Lord, man! Open your eyes. Anne loves you. She just lacks the confidence to believe that you love her. A woman needs to hear the words.”
Nathaniel hesitated still. Could he subject himself to that pain again?
“Just go. Climb the steps for her and see if magic is in the air.” Sophia pushed him out the door.
He clasped Sophia’s hand. “Thank you.”
“Don’t come back without a fiancée this time,” Sophia said as he left.
Nathaniel grabbed a coat, his hat, and gloves and walked with purpose through the woods. No more taking no for an answer. The woman is going to marry me, or else.
He stopped at the edge of the woods, right before the steps. Anne sat at the top, looking out at Beetham, lost in thought. She looked lovely, yet sad. Dark circles under her eyes told him she hadn’t been sleeping well either. They were both fools to let an argument get in the way of their feelings.
He stepped to the edge of the stone steps.
“Excuse me, miss—I seem to have lost my way.”
Anne looked down at him in shock. “Where are you going, sir?”
“I heard a fable about these steps.” He climbed the first few steps toward her, hat in hand. “If I climb them I will be granted a wish.”
Anne’s eyes filled with tears. “It’s just a fable, sir. There is no magic.”
A breeze caught Nathaniel by surprise, pushing against his back and urging him forward. It danced around the skirts of Anne’s dark blue dress. “I don’t know. It seems a magical place.” He climbed a few more steps.
“And you believe in magic?” she asked.
“I didn’t until I met a girl several weeks ago who took my breath away. She was dressed in an old wool dress but had stars in her eyes. She believed.”
“She’s not sure she can believe any longer.”
He moved closer to her. “Why doubt now?”
“Cecil Worth said—”
“Worth was a fool, Anne. Don’t let him take away the magic of what we have.” He had almost reached her, was almost close enough to pull her into his arms and kiss the tears from her face.
Hope welled up in him.
Anne stood as he approached. “If you were granted a wish, what would you wish for?”
“I’d wish for a way to ask you to marry me so that you wouldn’t refuse.” He reached the top step and smiled down at her. He took her hand and pressed his lips to her cold fingers. “To ask in such a way as to fully convey how much I love you.”
Anne smiled at him. “You love me?”
“More than my life. Marry me?”
“Yes.”
A strange voice spoke from somewhere below them.
“Foolish human. You can’t dabble with magic and love.”
Nathaniel looked at Anne. “Did you hear that?”
“Hear what?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him.
“That voice. It’s an odd little voice.” He looked around them and saw no one.
“You did climb the steps without touching. You get a wish.”
Nathaniel hugged her close. “I only want you, Anne, with me forever. Nothing else matters.”
“But the wish—”
“I’m thankful for the wish. It broke through your shell and allowed the world to see the real you. For me to see the real you. I love you, Anne.”
She closed her eyes, savoring his words.
“Please tell me how you feel.”
She opened her eyes, eyes filled with love. “I love you, Nathaniel. I don’t know how I managed to get so very lucky, but I don’t care.”
“I’m the lucky one.” He bent his head and kissed her.
“Foolish human—make a wish and be gone.”
Nathaniel lifted his head. “I wish us to be happy forever.”
“Nathaniel, no one can wish for that!”
“Done!” said the voice.
The wind picked up and whirled around Anne and Nathaniel, bringing with it leaves and twigs and pushing them closer together.
“See,” said Nathaniel, “even the fairies agree. We belong together.”