CHAPTER EIGHT

VERONICA STARED AT the screen. She’d already opened this email three times. And closed it twice.

She hadn’t received many letters this week. It was a slow time of year, but she wondered if the live Dear Veronica readings were cutting into the normal mail she received. Maybe people wanted to save up their questions for the live event. Regardless, she hadn’t yet found another letter that was compelling, sounded true and focused on a dilemma she hadn’t answered already.

But she didn’t want to answer this one.

She considered digging back through the letters she’d received months ago but felt like a worthless coward even thinking about it. This woman needed help, and she needed it quickly. So...

Veronica opened a new text window, copied the letter into it and then stopped with her hands poised over the keyboard.

Unless it was a subject she knew nothing about, she tried to go with her first instinct when answering a letter. Her gut response. Then she’d close the letter, let it sit for a few hours and go over the question and her answer more deliberately later. She’d found that the key to being a good advice writer was recognizing which of her responses were based on personal triggers and then working through it from there. You could never be completely objective or you’d lose all the style and insight people were looking for, but you couldn’t base every answer on “Here’s what I’d do.”

And that was her problem with this letter. She wanted to respond by banging out in all caps, “DON’T GIVE UP YOUR REAL LIFE FOR A FANTASY OF HAPPINESS IN THE BIG CITY, BECAUSE THE BIG CITY IS NOTHING BUT LIES AND LONELINESS.”

Yes, it was her first instinct, but it was maybe a tiny bit too subjective.

She ordered herself not to close the text window, then flexed her fingers and rolled her shoulders. “Okay,” she said. “Ready.” Then she dropped her hands to her lap and let her head fall back until she was staring at the ceiling.

This woman had written in because she had dreams. Veronica knew what that was like. She’d lived for nothing but dreams for so long. Dreams that she could leave this place and find love and success and a spine. She’d wanted to find herself, as if her confidence and strength had been hidden in a scavenger hunt that wound through the dirty, damp streets of Manhattan. How many miles had she walked through the skyscrapers and the parks and the subway stations, looking for things that had never existed?

She’d never been anyone. Just an amorphous, undefined child. Who the hell was she to tell this woman what to do with her life?

Veronica closed the window and dragged the email into her Unanswered Letters folder. The letter behind it was still on the screen, yet another query stained with virtual tears over a cheating spouse. She got them every week. Some from men, some from women. Some were filled with nothing more than tortured suspicions. Some writers knew all the gritty details.

Maybe she should answer this one despite that she’d published another two months before. It was clearly a common problem. Veronica told herself she should be happy she’d never had a partner, because that meant she’d never been cheated on or tormented by the fear that she would be.

But when she thought of Gabe MacKenzie, she wasn’t sure she cared what he ever did with other women, as long as he did it with her, too.

The thought of Gabe broke through her haze of self-hatred. After all, if she’d stayed in New York or even found herself a boyfriend here in Wyoming, she’d never have kissed Gabe. And kissing Gabe had been...priceless.

She smiled stupidly at her useless hands. They might not have much to type today, but they’d been smart enough to touch Gabe’s chest. To explore him a little. She turned her phone over and pulled up her text messages. His was at the top. I can’t wait, it said.

He couldn’t wait. For their second date. An evening hike tonight.

She wasn’t quite sure what to think of that, a hiking date on a Saturday night. Her first impulse had been giddy joy that he wanted to do something she actually enjoyed. But now in the light of day it didn’t seem very...sexy. And she desperately wanted to be sexy for him, but she couldn’t wear a push-up bra or high heels on a hike. Then again, he did seem to like her legs, and they’d be exposed. Who the hell was she trying to impress with her not-quite-B-cup breasts, anyway?

And whether it was sexy or not, a hiking date would be her. The real her. Not the Veronica who’d gone on dates with stockbrokers and salesmen and middle-management bankers in New York. She’d faked her way through those dates just as she’d faked her way through everything. She’d gone to the same kinds of restaurants her dad liked instead of the homey, comforting dives she really loved. She’d gone to art shows instead of Broadway musicals, because corporate ladder–climbing twentysomething men couldn’t schmooze at the theater. And she’d worn the highest heels she could stand, along with the nicest secondhand outfits she’d been able to assemble.

Looking back, she had no idea what those men were supposed to have liked about her, anyway. The layers of falseness she’d painted over her less-than-adequate self?

But with Gabe...with Gabe she’d laid it all out on their second meeting. And he was still around. And he was taking her hiking.

The thought made her smile, but the smile vanished as soon as she looked back at her computer. Hot date or not, she still had no idea what to tell Torn.

She gave up on work and shut her laptop. The stupid column wasn’t due until Monday evening, anyway. Maybe she’d have a different perspective by then. Maybe she’d be thoroughly fucked and altogether debauched and she’d tell Torn to run after her dreams as fast as she could.

Her phone buzzed and she snatched it up, pulse already speeding. But it wasn’t Gabe; it was her father. That was a real heart-rate killer.

Oh, Christ, not another one. Ever since she’d returned to town, her dad had treated her like an extension of the family name, requiring her to make appearances, but this was his first request since ski season had ended. She didn’t know how to say no to him. She never had.

A second text appeared with the name of the gallery.

She checked her calendar in vain. There was nothing on it. Okay, she texted back. See you then.

That was a good enough reason to start getting ready for the hike. She showered quickly, then styled her hair and put on the bare minimum of makeup. Despite Gabe’s kind words, she wasn’t going barefaced when she could wear a little mascara and lip stain. She didn’t come by makeup skills naturally, but she was no idiot. Men could claim they liked the no-makeup look, but there was natural and then there was natural.

She grinned as she chose a pair of exercise shorts that covered only the top two inches of her thighs. If he liked her legs, he’d get her legs.

She didn’t need sunscreen, as they’d catch only the last ninety minutes of light, but that meant she couldn’t pick a cute tank top, either. She settled on a long-sleeved shirt that at least fit tightly across the chest. After packing a water bottle, a flashlight and a hoodie into a light backpack, she was ready.

He knocked precisely at six-thirty, which was a nice surprise. She hadn’t expected punctuality from a guy who was so laid-back. Cerebral thoughts about how considerate he was fled when she opened the door. He was wearing cargo shorts and a faded purple T-shirt and lots of lean muscle. Lots of it.

“Hi,” she said to his biceps. She looked up just in time to see his gaze sweep down her body, too.

“Ready?” he asked, eyebrow raised in a way that made his smile look wicked. He’d noticed her legs.

Yeah, she was so ready.

She locked up and led him down the street toward the hills. “Are you sure you’ve never hiked this? It’s pretty basic and crazy busy in the summer, but the views are great.”

“Never. When I’ve been in town before, all my hiking was heading in and out of climbing areas. I’m happy you know a trail we can hit with such a short amount of time. If we had to drive to a trailhead, the sun would be setting before we could start.”

“Or we could’ve just hiked over to the brewery,” she suggested.

“We can work our way around later.”

She felt him watching her and glanced over. “What?”

“You look pretty today, Dear Veronica.”

She didn’t even try to fight the blushing anymore. She was just so aware of him. And she was crushing on him so damn hard. “You look nice, too. In fact, no one should look that good in a T-shirt. It’s distracting.”

He brushed a hand over his chest as if unsure how to respond. The hair on his forearm glinted in the sunlight. She wanted to pet it. She managed not to say that out loud, but she thought it really, really hard.

They turned left onto a street that ended at the base of the foothills. They were on the trail and gaining elevation ten minutes after leaving her place.

“Since I’m a librarian,” he said from behind her, “you have to tell me your favorite books. It’s required. And if you don’t read, you’d better lie about it.”

“I read,” she said, noticing that he wasn’t even breathing hard. She kept her breath as even as she could. “A lot of nonfiction, actually. But my bachelor’s degree is in English. Maybe I’ve read more books than you have.”

He chuckled. “Your favorites?”

“I hate this question. How am I supposed to choose? To Kill a Mockingbird, obviously—everyone loves that. Anything by Margaret Atwood. I adore narrative nonfiction like In the Heart of the Sea. I deal with a lot of relationship issues in my work, so I love romance. I hope you’re not a book snob.”

“No way. I’ve read romance.”

She turned to shoot him a doubtful look. “Really?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s exactly my cup of tea, but I love some of the sci-fi romance. I mean, it’s sci-fi with good sex. What’s not to love?”

“Excellent point.” She started up the trail again. “What else do you read?”

“Everything. Horror, thrillers, science fiction, a little fantasy. I read the big award winners every year, of course. That’s part of the job.”

“And your favorites?” She heard him stop and turned around to see why.

He was standing with his hands on his hips, looking back the way they’d come. “Dune. The Sheltering Sky. 1984. And Gone with the Wind.”

“Gone with the Wind?”

He turned to her with a smile that was only slightly chagrined. “It was the first really big book I read. I got it from the library when I was thirteen and had to renew it three times to finish it. I loved it like crazy. I haven’t reread it, though. I’m pretty sure it won’t live up to my memory. I’ve learned a lot since then about writing and storytelling, not to mention the brutality of actual history.”

“I know what you mean. I feel that way about Pride and Prejudice. I loved it so much the first time—I don’t want to change anything about the experience. What if it’s not as good?”

“Yeah,” he said, nodding, “that’s exactly it. But you’re probably safe with Pride and Prejudice.”

Conscious of the fact that she was just standing there, smiling at him, Veronica let her gaze drift to the view he’d been admiring a moment before. Jackson was already a couple hundred feet below them, spreading out toward the open space of the Elk Refuge beyond. The Tetons loomed above everything in the distance.

“Come on,” she said. “The view’s a lot better farther up.”

“It’s pretty nice from here.”

“Are you talking about my ass?” she teased, then realized immediately that she’d relaxed and said something weird. She barely knew this guy and now they had her ass hanging between them for the rest of the hike, both literally and figuratively.

She stopped abruptly and stammered, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Why?” he asked, his voice closer. “The view of your ass is fucking spectacular.”

She groaned and pressed a hand to her forehead. “Maybe it is, but I shouldn’t have said it.”

When he chuckled, she realized he was standing next to her now. She peeked between her fingers and grimaced. “Every time I let my guard down, I say the wrong things, Gabe. Every time.”

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. We can have an hour-long conversation about your ass right now. It wouldn’t bother me in the least.”

“You’re just being nice,” she countered.

“I’m not sure you understand the male mind. Maybe you really are a terrible advice columnist.”

She laughed. He always managed to make her laugh. “You have a good point. Let’s just keep going, and hopefully, I won’t have the breath to say anything else.”

She didn’t have to wait long. They hit a portion of the trail that was steep enough for switchbacks and she was soon panting for oxygen. There wasn’t much of it at this altitude.

She was able to push through to the top, but she stopped to breathe once she hit more level ground. “You wouldn’t believe,” she rasped, “how hard this was...when I got here from New York.”

Gabe held up a hand and took a few deep breaths. “I just got here two weeks ago. I’m still—” he took another deep breath “—acclimating.”

“Oh, thank God.” She dropped onto a boulder with a flat top and dug her water bottle from her pack. “We’d better take a break, then.”

He joined her on the rock. At first she was distracted by the way his chest moved with each breath. It was strange to see him breathing hard and a little sweaty. Intimate and unexpected.

His knee brushed hers, and she tried to take in every detail of his muscled thigh in the quickest of glances. She liked the way it looked next to hers. He was tan and hairy next to her smooth leg. If they were already sleeping together, she’d put her hand on his knee and slide it up. She’d let her fingers edge under his shorts and tease him with a touch on the inside of his thigh. God. Would he get hard for her? Would he drag her hand higher and make her feel what she’d done to him?

She didn’t know. She didn’t know if sex could really be as good as she’d heard. Every time she’d messed around with a guy, she’d ended up disappointed. She’d been...removed. Unmoved. Completely clearheaded and disoriented by how much the guy seemed to be into it when she felt as though she were acting out a scene from tenth-grade health class.

Hell, she’d been more aroused by Gabe’s kiss than she had been by anything the last guy she’d dated had done, and that included the time he’d gone down on her. That had mostly consisted of her staring at the ceiling for two minutes before telling him she was fine. He’d popped up so quickly, it had been clear he’d been waiting to be excused.

But with Gabe...just looking at his thigh turned her on. She wasn’t even sure she cared that he might be throwing her a bone. She’d take that bone. She’d take it good.

Veronica glanced at her phone. “We’d better go. We’ve only got about thirty minutes before we should head down. Are you ready?”

“I think I can handle it.”

The trail widened as it looped through a high meadow, and Gabe could walk next to her now. The tufts of dried grass left after winter were pierced by green shoots, and a few tiny yellow flowers dusted the field. Almost all of the aspen were brightening up with green, though a few still shivered with fuzzy seeds.

“So you’ve never been up here for a climb?” she asked.

“No, there’s only one decent rock-climbing area close to town. The rock in this area is too brittle. Not ideal to have chunks falling out when you’re trying to anchor. All the decent climbing spots are a good hour out, and that doesn’t include the time you might need to hike in.”

“So it takes a full day?”

“Well, it depends how early you want to get up. During the summer, it pays to head out before dawn. The main rock faces are swarming with tourists.”

Veronica remembered hearing that complaint when she was growing up here. How difficult it was to get space for climbing or skiing or camping once the season started, but she’d never paid much attention.

At the top of the meadow, the trail cut into the aspen. Veronica heard the rushing of fast water ahead and smiled. “The creek is still high,” she said. “We’re lucky. This time last year it was a trickle.”

She hurried to get to the creek. It always looked like a postcard to her, the way the water danced and foamed over the jagged stones, dropping down in dozens of little waterfalls as it made its way down the mountain. The last of the sunlight glinted off still pools, and the shadows of shaking aspen leaves chased dark spots over the light.

“I love it here,” she said.

“It’s beautiful. But I think I should’ve brought rope.”

“Nah, the log is fine. Just don’t fall in.” She winked and jumped up onto the thick trunk of the dead pine tree that had been here for a decade.

The smooth surface of the wood was slightly damp, but earlier in the spring it had been icy in spots, so this was a piece of cake. She rushed the fifteen feet across and jumped off on the other side. She turned around to see if Gabe was following, only to find him landing on the ground inches from her.

“I’m going to take you climbing,” he said, smiling down at her.

“No, you’re not.”

“You weren’t the least bit nervous about that. You’re a natural.”

“You’re insane,” she said, laughing as she followed the trail along the creek. It got steep again, but this time she hardly noticed. This part of the hike was magical. The switchbacks wound through the trees, so it looked as if you were walking into dead ends of dark ponderosa pines, but then the trail would turn sharply and head into spring-green towers of aspens.

She turned to grin at Gabe behind her. “Isn’t it amazing? I mean, it’s not Yellowstone or Jenny Lake, but it’s right in our backyard.”

“It is amazing,” he said. “Thanks for showing me. It’s the perfect place to run after work. No one could be tense after this.”

“Is it a stressful job? I know Lauren hates preschool hour.”

“It’s not that. Kids are fine. It’s just a little weird to be brought in to change things, you know? Especially because I’m male, and all the female librarians here have more experience than I do, but I have to come in and say, ‘This is what you’re doing wrong.’ It’s shitty on the face of it, but it’s what I was hired to do.”

“I can put in a good word with Lauren, if you like.”

“It’s no problem. Lauren is great, actually. If I didn’t have her on my side, I’d probably beg you for help. I wouldn’t want to fuck with Lauren.”

“She is pretty badass,” Veronica agreed. Both of her girls’-night-out companions were really badass, actually. “Have you met Isabelle yet? She’s an artist. She comes into the library sometimes for reference materials when she’s working.”

“I don’t think so.”

“She’s good friends with Lauren. A brunette. She’s usually got paint in her hair?”

“No, I definitely haven’t met her.”

“Anyway, she was a federal fugitive for a while.”

“What?” Gabe snapped.

Veronica laughed. “That’s really all I can say. You’ll have to catch us out for girls’ night sometime. Buy her a drink and see if she’ll tell you the story.”

“Are you serious?”

She shrugged. “What, you don’t have any wanted fugitives as friends?”

“I probably do—I just don’t know it. But now I know you’re kick-ass enough to handle climbing.”

If her friends made her seem more interesting than she actually was, she didn’t mind, but no way could she imagine herself climbing any higher than a ladder. She wasn’t one of those girls. She’d known a lot of them. In high school and college, they’d been the amazing winter athletes, some of whom had moved here just to hone their skills for world championships. In New York, they’d been the girls unafraid to take on every challenge that the city offered. They’d been glamorous and magnetic and brave.

Veronica had felt as though she’d used up all her braveness just getting to the city. And she wasn’t even sure it could be called bravery, when she’d had no idea how difficult it all would be.

The trail took one last turn and they had to climb up two big rock steps, but they finally made it to the clearing she’d been aiming for. The trail cut between two huge boulders, then edged around a little ravine. Right at the top of the ravine, she stopped and faced the town.

“Here we are.”

“Wow,” he answered.

The setting sun turned the sky pink and gold in the west, and the highest peaks of the Tetons clawed at the colors like dark gray talons. The lower hills that marked the natural boundary of the town were already black with shadow, but beyond the grid of city blocks, the Elk Refuge stretched out for green miles. The river cut through the refuge, a winding line of deep blue that looked like a silk ribbon dropped into the middle of the grass.

Veronica sat down on a flat rock and Gabe joined her, but they didn’t speak for a long time. They just looked at the scenery.

The breeze picked up, shaking the trees around them. For the first time in a while, Veronica felt totally at peace.

“You take it for granted a little when you grow up here,” she said. “It’s not like there are parts of the valley that are ugly. It’s all beautiful. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss it when I went to the city.”

“Why did you move?” he asked, sounding totally dumbfounded.

She shrugged. She wasn’t sure why she’d done it, why it had been so important to her for so long. Maybe that was one of the things she needed to unpack in her life. Why going far away had seemed like the solution to everything. “It’s complicated. And it was a mistake. I can’t imagine ever going back.”

He was quiet and she looked up to find him watching her. He looked more serious than he ever had.

She shrugged again. “Maybe I just spent too many years living in paradise.” She lifted her chin toward the view. As a teenager, she’d spent a lot of time outdoors, but she’d always thought of it as her only option for escape. She hadn’t realized how much she’d loved it until she didn’t have it anymore.

He still watched her, as if he was trying to puzzle something out, but she didn’t want to reveal more. In the end he only nodded and bumped his shoulder gently against hers. “So...tell me what it means to be ‘pretty much’ a virgin.”

Veronica gasped in horror. “I’m not telling you that!”

“Come on. I’ve been wondering about it. The things you told me that first night.”

“When I was drunk!” she yelped.

“Yes, when you were drunk. And being honest. I mean, I was obviously intrigued, but after that kiss... I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

“Oh, God,” she whispered, her face going as hot as fire as she let her head drop. But her face wasn’t the only part of her heating up. That kiss had been so, so good. And if he was interested in what she’d said, then he was...interested. Hadn’t she just been thinking that she’d do almost anything to get her hands on him?

She felt him lean closer. “I only want to know what you want,” he whispered, his voice so close to her ear it made her shiver. “What you’re looking for.”

Just his voice was enough to make her warm, but then...then his lips touched the side of her neck. She inhaled so sharply that it sounded like a gasp. His warm mouth touched her again, and the brush of his beard sent goose bumps scattering along her skin and down to her hardening nipples.

“I don’t want to tell you about that,” she whispered, but she was arching her head away from him now, giving him more room to work. No one had ever kissed her this way. Softly. Slowly. As if he was exploring instead of persuading.

“Okay.” The word whispered over the skin behind her ear. She felt his fingers slide along the base of her skull, then trail down the nape of her neck. “Just tell me one thing, then. Anything.”

His tongue was shockingly hot when it touched her neck. Just a little flick that made her gasp again.

“I...” she tried, then groaned when his mouth opened against her and sucked gently. “I...I know a lot of things,” she managed to say. “All of it, really.”

“Mmm.” The sound vibrated against her.

“And I’ve done things.”

“What things?” he whispered.

Oh, God, she couldn’t say any of this out loud. It was too much. She didn’t want to tell; she just wanted to do. With him.

He drew back a little, and she followed him, her body leaning closer, chasing after his mouth.

“Come ’ere,” he murmured. She wasn’t sure what he meant until his arm slipped under her knees and he lifted her up and onto his lap.

She grabbed on to him in shock, feeling as if she’d slide right off his knees, but his legs were strong, and his arms stayed around her to hold her steady.

She wasn’t sure that sitting on his lap was quite...appropriate. But when his mouth settled into the crook of her neck and he tasted her again, any thought she’d had for returning to her own side of the boulder vanished. She didn’t want to go anywhere. She wanted to be right here on his hard thighs, with his hands spreading over her back and his mouth creating magic on her neck.

“Oh,” she sighed, settling more comfortably into his chest.

“You’ve obviously kissed before,” he said. “You’re very good at it.”

He kissed his way up to her jaw, and when she turned toward him, his mouth caught hers.

Was she good at it? She had no idea, but he made her feel hungry and languid and right. But she got to kiss him back for only a brief moment before his mouth left hers. “Have you come before?” he asked, his voice a little rougher than it had been.

Oh, God. She closed her eyes. “Yes,” she answered.

He kissed her lower lip. Bit it gently. Let it go. “With a man?”

She didn’t want to say. She couldn’t. She was a challenge. Hard work for a guy. No one wanted to be hard work in bed. But she finally shook her head. “No.”

He exhaled deeply. One of his hands slid up her back to cradle the nape of her neck. His fingertips felt textured against her skin. Calloused. “No?” he murmured against her mouth.

She shook her head, the tiniest movement, letting her parted lips brush over his. He kissed her again finally. An urgent, dark kiss, his hand still on her neck, keeping her close.

Wanting to be even closer, she twisted toward him, sliding her knee up, and then his hand was on her leg, lifting it over his thighs so that she straddled him.

Veronica held him now. Her hands slid up his shoulders and his neck, and she cradled his face and kissed him more deeply. His hands went to her thighs, and his fingers rubbed slowly up and down, up and down, from her knees to the tops of her legs. She wanted him to go higher. She was spread open, straddling him, and she wanted him to rub her there. Right there. She wanted it to feel the way she’d always hoped it would. But his hands stayed on her thighs.

When he raised his head, she followed him, and he gave in and kissed her again. Triumph flared bright inside her. He wanted her. He couldn’t resist her mouth. His fingers tightened on her thighs. Yes.

When he pulled away this time, his breath was rough. She stroked her fingers down his beard and put her mouth to his neck. She wasn’t done tasting him. She wanted more. She felt his moan through her tongue and teeth and she dragged her hands down to his chest and the hard muscles there.

“Tell me what you’ve done,” he groaned.

“No,” she whispered against his neck. She didn’t want to. It was all silly. She’d done things that everyone else had done; it just hadn’t been good.

One of his hands slid up her hip, her waist, her ribs. He cupped her breast through her shirt and slid a thumb over her nipple. Veronica groaned with sharp need. It felt so good and it was torture. A small, stingy promise of what she’d feel if he touched her clit.

But then he rolled her nipple between his thumb and finger and she hissed at the pleasure.

“I just want to know,” he said. “I don’t want to shock you. I don’t want to move too fast.”

“Shock me,” she urged.

He tugged her shirt up and her bra down and he closed his mouth over her nipple.

Veronica cried out. She couldn’t help it. The pleasure was so sudden and sharp that it nearly hurt. She threw her head back as he sucked at her. When she opened her eyes, she saw stars. Stars just starting to shimmer above them in the purple sky.

“Oh, God,” she breathed.

Above the sound of her own pounding heart, she heard a chittering and closed her eyes to ignore it. But then Gabe’s mouth left her breast. Her nipple ached at the shock of cold before he tugged her shirt down.

Her head swam with dizziness when he lifted her leg and swung her around to her original position.

“I’m sorry,” he said gruffly as the chittering sound grew louder. A biker flew past them so quickly that it felt like a sudden storm, the wind hitting them hard. “I shouldn’t have done that here,” Gabe continued.

Veronica blinked, trying to clear her head, but she was still stuck in the pleasure. She wanted to get back to it. Who cared about bikers or hikers or anyone else?

She kissed him again and took his hand to slide it back under her shirt. Her nipple felt cold until his palm covered it with heat.

Gabe groaned. “Men have touched you here before?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, no longer shy.

His hand slid down her belly and over her shorts. “And here?” He cupped her, his big hand holding her sex in a careful grip. His fingers pressed lightly.

“Yes,” she moaned.

He kissed her neck again, and she arched into his mouth as the heat of his hand soaked through the fabric that covered her pussy. “Have they licked you here, Veronica?” His fingers pressed gently.

The thought of him doing that filled her head so completely that she squirmed against his hand. She wanted his hot mouth there. She wanted his tongue. She wanted to grip the messy waves of his hair and hold him to her pussy. “Yes,” she finally answered. “Just...just once.”

His breath huffed against her throat. “I want to do that.”

Oh God, oh God, oh God. She wanted that so much. His middle finger stroked her, a whisper of a promise that sent little sparks of pleasure flying through her. “Yes,” she urged.

“Shit,” he rasped. “You’re killing me. Not here. Not now.”

“But if you—” she started, but his pained laugh cut her off.

“And not on a fucking rock. Not this first time, anyway.”

She was going to suggest that there was a meadow only a few yards back, but even in her ridiculous state that seemed too desperate. As desperate as she actually felt.

In fact, she felt so damn tight and needy that she wanted to suggest they skip that altogether. She wanted to say, It’s dark—just tug down your shorts and fuck me right here. But that was crazy. Crazy. To get well and truly laid for the first time in some hurried, frantic fuck on a public trail.

She nodded, kept nodding. “Okay,” she said as his hand left her. Her pussy felt freezing cold without the cover of his fingers. She was a little mortified to think she was so wet she’d soaked through the fabric of both her underwear and her shorts. Then again, she was utterly thrilled that anyone could make her that wet. For a while now she’d been wondering if she could even get that turned on.

She could. She definitely could.

He eased her closer, arms around her waist, and rested his forehead against hers. “I think we lost track of time,” he said casually, as if her hip weren’t now pressed against his erection. He was hard. So hard that she was having trouble forming a sentence and wasn’t sure why it was so easy for him to talk. Maybe it was just experience.

She shifted, pressing her hip more tightly to him, and she was rewarded with the sound of breath hissing past clenched teeth. It made her smile.

“Don’t torture me,” he rasped.

“I just wanted to see if you were enjoying this as much as I was.”

“Are you kidding?” he sounded slightly offended. “I’m in serious pain.”

She should have felt bad, but a laugh bubbled up in Veronica’s throat. He was aching and hard as a rock. For her.

She pressed her hip against him again, then laughed at the strangled noise he made.

“Holy shit, you’re cruel,” he complained.

“I’m sorry. But you just teased the hell out of me.”

His teeth flashed white in the twilight when he smiled. “That’s good to know.”

“Almost as good as knowing this,” she said. Feeling sexy and bold in a way she never had before, she brushed her fingers over the front of his shorts.

“No,” he said immediately. “We’re not starting again. I can’t take it.”

Her laughter was husky even to her own ears. “But I’m having fun, Gabe.”

He growled something she couldn’t quite make out and kissed her brusquely on the forehead. “We’ve got to go. It’s almost full dark.”

“I know,” she sighed, but she turned to look out at the view instead of moving. The sky was purple and indigo in the west now, the Tetons nothing but silhouettes against the fading light. The Gros Ventre mountains to the east picked up the last glimmers of light on their snowy peaks, but above them the stars blazed in the dark sky. The lights of Jackson twinkled cheerily below.

Now that her heart rate was returning to normal, Veronica shivered. Gabe pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

“It’s hard to leave,” he murmured.

“Yes,” she said. “It’s hard.” Her giggle ruined the moment and she didn’t care.

He groaned and set her on her feet. “That’s it. No more mocking my pain. Your fun is over, lady.”

“God, I hope not. It just started.” She dug in her pack for her fleece jacket and a flashlight.

“All right,” he said. He’d brought his own flashlight and a circle of light appeared at his feet. “The fun is only over for tonight.”

She pulled on her jacket and they started down the trail. “And here I was hoping you’d come back to my place,” she said to his back. Adrenaline rushed through her body as the words left her mouth. She’d just invited him over. They were going to have sex. Tonight. And the thing was...she felt nervous about it in only the best way. In fact, she was so excited about it that she didn’t notice his silence until he finally broke it.

“Not that I wouldn’t love to,” he said. “I mean, I’d really, really love to, but...”

She stopped. He took two more steps before he stopped and turned toward her.

“But what?” she asked.

He didn’t say anything for a long moment. She wanted to shine her flashlight in his face in the hopes of reading his thoughts.

“You’re not coming over?”

“I don’t think I should.”

“Why?” she asked, then wished she could take it back. Why? sounded too much like Please. Suddenly cold, she zipped up her jacket and then forced herself to start walking again. Why? Why wasn’t she ever enough?

He cleared his throat as she brushed past him. It must be difficult to explain to a woman why you didn’t want to sleep with her. She was utterly confused. He’d seemed so turned on only a few minutes ago. He’d said he was in pain.

It was the virginity thing. Or the pressure to make her come. Why the hell had she told him that? No one wanted to—

“Because,” he started, interrupting her thoughts, “I want it to be really good for you, Veronica. If we have sex. If you decide you want to.”

She stopped again. If? Was he insane? She wanted it. Really badly. “Gabe, I... I shouldn’t have told you all that stuff. It’s no big deal, honestly. I’ve even... I mean, it’s hard to explain, but I’m not even technically a virgin, I guess. It’s really—”

“You absolutely should have told me. Everything.”

She shook her head. She knew he couldn’t see her. They were beneath the trees and not even a hint of light got through. The circles of their flashlights bounced on the trail at their feet.

She shook her head again. “I’m not looking for some weird moment with candles and stuff. I just want to do it.”

“Get it over with?” he asked.

“No! Well, yes. But no, I mean, I want to. I wanted to do it back there. On that rock! You turn me on more than anyone ever has and—” Shit. Why did words keep coming out of her mouth? “I just want to have sex because I want to. Like anyone else would!”

A few heartbeats passed. Veronica wanted to kick herself.

“You were that turned on?” he finally asked.

“Oh, my God, don’t pretend you didn’t feel it.” Her crotch was still cold.

Even his chuckle was sexy. She was starting to hate him and his sexiness. “It’s different to hear you say it, though. It’s nice.”

“Shut up,” she grumbled. At least her face wasn’t cold. Her face felt hot enough to melt steel. If she turned off her flashlight, maybe she’d see the red glow of her face reflecting off the leaves.

“Listen.” His hand settled on her shoulder. She was glad she couldn’t see him in the dark. He was close, though. Close enough to slide his hand over her hair. “I’m not planning to show up with candles and champagne. I just don’t want to rush it.”

“I turn twenty-seven tomorrow. This hasn’t been a rush.”

“Tomorrow?” he asked. “It’s your birthday?”

She waved a dismissive hand. “Yes, and I’ll still be a virgin for some reason I don’t understand.”

Even in the dark, she could see his smile. “Okay, I’ll be blunt. I want to wait because I want you squirming for it.”

The vulgarity of his words hit her square in the belly. “Oh,” she said.

“I want you thinking about what we did tonight. I want you so turned on you can’t stand it. I want you dying for it. Because I don’t think anyone’s ever gotten you there before.”

She shook her head, speechless.

“Guys rush things. I was like that for a few years, too. We all are, I guess. And I think you’ve been with those guys. Guys who get you turned on just enough so you’ll give in and let them kiss you, touch you, see you naked. Give them what they need to come. I don’t want it like that. I don’t want you to get it over with. I want you to come. In my mouth. On my cock. I want you to come for me, Veronica.”

“Oh,” she said again. The words getting inside her, tightening around her pussy. “Oh, fuck.”

“Yes,” he murmured. “And when we’re done, I want you very clear on whether you’ve been fucked or not.” His mouth was so close to her now. She could feel his breath on her lips. “I don’t want any ‘pretty much’ about it. Okay?” he asked.

She had to swallow to wet her mouth enough to let her speak. “Okay,” she croaked.

He kissed her. One quick little peck. “Okay,” he repeated. “But I’m hard as hell again. Does that make you feel better?”

Yes, it did, because it was warm between her legs again. He could get her wet with just words. And he was going to fuck her. He’d made that clear. She didn’t have to doubt that anymore. But she didn’t say yes. She just shrugged and started down the trail. “Hope you can walk with that thing,” she called over her shoulder. And if she had a spring in her step, she tried not to let it show.