Lord, I know not what to pray for as I ought: O let thy Spirit help my infirmities, and enable me to offer up a spiritual sacrifice, acceptable to thee by Jesus Christ.
I must thank you for restoring both my girls to good health, for I have been sent word by Mrs Berkeley that although Mary was lately peevish it was only this time that she was cutting a tooth, and not a return of the sickness she is so often troubled with, and Anne Sophia goes on very well again – I thank you every hour that she has from the beginning been a healthy child, that she does not suffer as her sister does – so Dr Walgrave does not think she should be weaned yet after all, which I am glad of. I pray that you preserve them both and if it is that you must rebuke me, I beg that you will not do it through them, who must be so innocent yet of any grievous sin.
For my own sake I offer thanks that so far the waters have agreed with me again this year, that even though it is unseasonable cold in Tunbridge I am not much the worse for it, except for this queer breaking-out over my nose and cheeks. When my prayers are done, I mean to anoint my face with the Queen of Hungary’s Water Mrs Churchill has sent; I beseech you in your mercy cause it to heal my face – and if this breaking-out be a sign of your displeasure, I promise to examine my heart and find out my fault as if I were preparing to communicate, and to make all proper amends . . .
I beseech you, preserve the Prince another day in good health, and my sister Orange and her Prince – and the King and Queen of course – and my good friend Lady Churchill, who I fear does not mind herself enough, for she goes up and down as much as if she were not with child. Just this sennight she has made a great journey to Althrop to see Lady Sunderland, which I must needs say according to my small understanding was a very strange undertaking for one in her condition, especially as it is so much further from Windsor or St Albans than it is to Tunbridge and I have not seen her here at all this month – and I must confess that when I do not see her, or I do not hear from her every day, I cannot but fall prey to melancholy which I know I should not, and I would not for the world cause her to do herself harm by writing to me so much every day. Truly there is no-one else for whom I feel more kindness, and in whose word and judgement I might put so much trust – for there is so much truth in her, and the world being what it is there are so few I may rely upon. I thank you for giving me this one honest friend . . .
My sister is so far away, and though I try to honour my father as the Commandment says yet it seems every day he has a stiffer neck, a harder heart . . . I was very much surprised when I heard of the four new Privy Councillors – Papists all – and I cannot help but be very sorry for it, and it makes me wonder at the King – I think Lord Sunderland whispers in his ear as his Lady does in the Queen’s. I must confess that I am never easy when I am with Her Majesty, and am glad to have missed her ball at Windsor, even though there is no company agreeable to me in Tunbridge . . . Still, I must play basset with them every day. I beg thee, help me keep my countenance.