Alexis stared at the calendar on her desk at her office at Malverns. It was Friday, October 23, and she had worked here for just over a month.
How the time had flown, and she had certainly learned a lot. She fully understood why they called his office “the lion’s den.” James could be hardheaded, ruthless, tough, unmoving, and he was so disciplined he expected everyone to be exactly the same.
He rarely lost his temper, so the atmosphere was calm. She realized, in the first few days, that he had cut the staff in half.
When she mentioned this to her father, he had explained that James thought it took only one person to do one job, not three. “He runs a tight ship,” her father had added, and had given her a huge smile, obviously delighted by this decision on Falconer’s part.
She herself smiled at this moment, thinking that her father had been right all along about James Falconer. He really was a brilliant businessman, always out to win, and loyal to Henry Malvern. And a demon for work.
As she had watched him from time to time, she had recognized he was a genius at handling people. He gave raises where he thought they were deserved, let people have an occasional Saturday off, and did a variety of favors for everyone. Kindness worked.
Charisma, a natural, pervasive charm, and perfect manners went a long way in this world, and he was loaded with the lot.
She herself had fallen under his spell a little bit, and often found herself working harder just to please him.
And he was generous with praise and compliments to every member of the staff for a job well done. Even to her, sometimes. His warm words pleased her.
For the past few weeks she had been working with Peter Keller and had enjoyed being in the wine division. Keller had asked James if she could stay on for another two weeks, and he had agreed. Keller needed some special tasks done.
Once a week she spent a day with James Falconer, going over everything she had worked on and giving him the outcome of the decisions she had made and why she had made them.
He, in turn, gave her his opinions of her progress, and he was always pleased, congratulated her, which made her feel she was pulling her weight.
This was the longest time he spent with her, first thing every Monday morning, reviewing the past week.
In many ways it was trying for her, not because of her reporting in, but her longing for Falconer himself. She felt a powerful attraction to him; there was no question in her mind and in her heart about that.
In fact, if she were scrupulously honest with herself, she had fallen in love with him on the trip they had made to Le Havre and Paris two years ago. She had believed there might be a life for her after all, and was pulled to him, needed his presence.
But once back in London she had begun to feel guilty about Sebastian and had fled to Kent. Originally, her motive had been to straighten herself out, put her grief behind her, and start all over again. With James Falconer, if he was willing.
Then something strange happened. She had begun to turn against him, and even now she did not understand why this had happened. She also realized she might well be still in Kent if not for Claudia, and also Jane and Reggie.
Claudia had told her the truth about herself and her foolish behavior. Jane had steadied her when she had been flummoxed by Reggie’s announcement that the house in Kent was entailed.
Sebastian’s decisions and actions about Goldenhurst and his will still came back to haunt her. This was because she truly was puzzled, did not understand his reasons.
Jane had warned her not to mention anything to Claudia about the entailment. When she had asked Jane why not, Jane had told her Claudia had been at the reading of the will and knew. “Just let sleeping dogs lie,” Jane had cautioned. “Just get on with your new life.”
And she had done that. When she had gone to apologize to Falconer, it had been out of shame and disgust with herself for her rudeness. Every word had been sincere.
Seeing him again, after so many months of absence, had been something of a shock. And so was her emotional reaction to him. A rush of desire for this man, a need to know every part of him, to be part of him, took her by surprise. He was charm personified, and more handsome than ever.
For a while she had believed this unexpected physical and emotional attraction would recede, just go away with familiarity, but it had not.
In point of fact, she dreaded Monday mornings because she was always filled with desire for him, a need to touch him, to tell him she loved him.
She never said anything, and conducted herself with decorum. As the days had passed, gone into weeks, she had become aware that he was having a difficult time, too. She had caught the several odd looks he gave her, his caution when they were together, endeavoring not to get too close to her, and ending their meetings quickly.
When she had confided in Jane earlier in the week, Jane had given her a peculiar look, and then she had smiled knowingly.
“Hasn’t it occurred to you he might be in love with you?” Jane had asked.
“Partially. What I mean is why would he fall in love with me when you consider how badly I’ve treated him? I’ve humiliated him,” she had responded.
“Go and look in the mirror, my dear. You’re a very beautiful woman. Any man would want you. Anyway, you went to see him, apologized to him. That must have pleased him, boosted his ego no end,” Jane had pronounced.
She had explained to Jane that his ego didn’t need boosting, and that the secretaries looked at him like he was a god. This had amused Jane, who had reminded her that Falconer was a bit of an Adonis.
Jane had not been able to come up with any suggestions that day, and had merely pointed out that things had to run their course. They had gone on to speak about Millicent Plymouth, the designer who was helping her to decorate her new house. She was clever and had good taste, according to Jane.
Sitting up straighter in her chair, Alexis went back to Falconer, wondering how to solve an unsolvable situation. The office was the wrong place to have any kind of conversation with him, especially one of a personal nature. Also, he was busy, and constantly surrounded by people.
A thought crossed her mind. How on earth was she going to learn to be like him? That was why she was there: to be trained to be managing director. For a moment she was scared, and then pushed that thought to one side. She had a year to learn.
Unexpectedly, it occurred to Alexis that she must find a way to get him alone so that they could be at ease with each other, more relaxed than they were at work. How to do that? Alexis pursed her lips. For once in her life she had no idea.
There was a knock on the door, and it immediately opened. There he was, walking into her office. James Falconer.
“Do you have a minute?” he asked, striding forward, standing in front of her desk.
“I do, and please sit down, won’t you?”
He did. “Your father asked me to come and see you, regarding your house. Basically, he thinks you might need help with certain things. So, here I am. Do you want me to take a look around?”
“Well, actually … yes, I do. Certainly. Oh yes. Yes.” She was so flustered she almost stuttered.
“Are you able to do it now? It’s turned five, and I happen to be going home. We don’t live far apart. In fact, if you’ve got your carriage, you could give me a lift.” He raised a brow, his blue eyes riveted on her.
“Why, yes, of course. I was thinking of leaving shortly.” She was shaking inside.
“Then let’s go, shall we?” He stood up.
She locked her desk, grabbed her handbag, and followed him out of her office, her chest tight with anxiety.
Josh drove the carriage at a medium trot through the traffic of Piccadilly, heading in the direction of Mayfair.
Inside the carriage Alexis sat in one corner, Falconer in the other. Neither of them spoke. Eventually, much to Alexis’s relief, Falconer said, “Is your house in good condition or does it need a lot of restoration?”
“It’s in good shape inside,” she answered, surprised that her voice was steady. She was still shaking inside, and anxious, although speaking normally at least. “Outside, the house looks like nothing, but the rooms are lovely, in fact,” she added.
“I like building projects,” he confessed, his voice as steady as hers. “I learned a lot when we had to redo part of the arcade in Hull. After the explosion.”
“My father told me how hard you’d worked, and what a splendid job you did.” When he did not respond, she went on, “The arsonist was never found, I understand.”
“No, he wasn’t. More’s the pity. But the Hull arcade is a cash cow, a huge success. That’s the most important thing.”
“Yes, of course.”
“Your father told me your house is on South Audley Street, but he didn’t say exactly where.”
“Close to Mount Street,” she answered. “And it has a mews at the back, with a carriage house and a flat above for a driver.”
“Will Josh be living there?” Falconer asked, sounding suddenly anxious.
“Yes, of course,” Alexis replied.
“I’m glad to hear that. I don’t like the idea of women living in a house in London without a male presence.”
“I understand,” she murmured. So he was concerned and about her. That instantly told her something, what she had begun to think lately … that he was as much interested in her as she was in him.
They fell silent for a while and again it was Falconer who broke the quietness inside the carriage. “I like Mayfair. It’s somewhat like a little village in a way. And I’m on Half Moon Street. Your father’s home is on Chesterfield Hill and Lord Reggie on Chesterfield Street. We’re all in very close proximity.”
“That’s true,” she said.
A few moments later, Josh was bringing the carriage to a standstill. As they alighted, Alexis said, “Here we are. Josh, will you please come into the house and help Mr. Falconer light the gas lamps.”
“Of course, Miss Malvern,” her driver answered, climbing down, then stroking the horses’ noses, calming them as they suddenly became restless, their hooves clattering on the cobbles.
The three of them walked to the front door, and Alexis took a bunch of keys out of her handbag. After opening the door, she stepped into the medium-sized entrance foyer. The two men followed her.
She handed a box of matches to Josh, and one to Falconer. “There are gas lamps in this hall, Mr. Falconer, and perhaps you will attend to the lamps near the fireplace in here, Josh.” As she spoke she walked into the drawing room, the sound of her footsteps echoing in the empty house.
Attending to the gas lamps in the foyer, Falconer said, “It’s larger than I expected.”
“It’s a good size for me,” Alexis answered. “I will have to have a staff and there is a servants’ floor at the top, with plenty of bedrooms of medium size on the floor below. It’s the reception rooms down here that are generous in size.”
“So I see,” Falconer said, as he went into the drawing room.
Josh said good night to him, and then handed the matches to Alexis. “Shall I wait for you, Miss Malvern, or come back later?”
“Oh no, that’s not necessary. Rather silly in a way.” She smiled faintly. “I’m only a few minutes from home, and I know Mr. Falconer will be kind enough to walk me back. You might as well go and have your supper, Josh.”
“Yes, miss, thank you. Good night then.”
“Good night, Josh,” she said.
“Yes, good night,” Falconer called from the drawing room, and went back to studying the details of the interior.
Alexis locked the front door after Josh left and returned to stand next to Falconer.
He turned to face her, and said, “I like this room. It can be really beautiful if it’s decorated well.” Leaving her side, he went over to the two tall windows. “Lovely silk draperies, full length, will set just the right look. And the fireplace is an Adam, I’m certain of that.”
“Oh, do you think so? How lovely if it is. You seem to know a lot about architecture.”
“A bit.”
“Thank you for following my father’s suggestion, and coming to help me. I appreciate it.”
His eyes did not leave her face when he said quietly, “It was the reverse, to be honest. I went to your father and asked him if you needed help. His answer was yes and I should go and see you. So I did. An hour ago. And here I am.”
She gaped at him, unable to speak, her chest tight. So he had initiated this meeting.
“You see, I needed to speak to you privately, alone, and I didn’t know how to get you alone with me. Until I remembered this house you’d just bought, and I had the idea of offering my help.”
“What do you wish to speak to me about?”
“An important matter which I must discuss now. Is that all right?”
“Yes.”
“I am in love with you and I’ve realized I have been since the very first time I set eyes on you … when we went to Le Havre looking for Percy Malvern. I walked into your father’s house to pick up you and Tilda to go with Josh to France. Do you remember?”
She nodded. “It was a Sunday afternoon,” she managed to say.
“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And during the trip I knew that I loved you and always would. I thought you felt the same. But you disappeared to Kent. And eventually I buried my feelings, closed the door on them and you, in a sense. But when we had that funny accident, when you fell into my office and into my arms, I knew I was still in love with you. I am really at my wits’ end. It is very hard for me to be anywhere near you because of my overwhelming feelings.”
Alexis stood there, still unable to speak, stunned by his words.
He said, “What I need to know is whether you have any interest in me or not. If you share my feelings.”
She walked, half stumbled toward him, tears trickling down her cheeks, and put her arms around him, clinging to him.
Falconer looked down into her face, wiped the tears away with his fingertips. “Tell me, Alexis. Tell me how you feel. If you don’t love me as I love you, I will understand, and I won’t trouble you again.”
She gazed up into those dazzling blue eyes and recognized the yearning in them, and she exclaimed, “I’m in love with you, James. And I have been for years, like you, since that Paris trip. But for some reason I blocked you out. Of course, I’m in love with you. I love you with all my heart.”
He bent his head and kissed her on the lips, and she kissed him back, pressing herself against his body. They stayed like that for a long time, kissing passionately, and holding on to each other as if afraid something might rip them apart.
Eventually, they separated, stood gazing at each other, unable to look away. He touched her cheek gently, and asked, “Why were you crying?”
“Emotions, knowing you felt as I did. Relief.” She stared at him, and said, “I want to make love with you…”
“So do I, Alexis. I don’t suppose there’s a bed here…”
“Yes, there is. But I don’t think there are any bedclothes.”
“I don’t care! Do you?”
“No.” She glanced around, looking for the candlesticks she had seen a few days ago. Spotting them, she hurried across the room. “James, please come and get a candle, and I’ll take the other. I’m not sure about the gas lamps in the bedrooms.”
Falconer came over. He took the box of Swan Vestas out of his pocket and lighted the two candles. He gave one to Alexis and together they mounted the stairs.
Alexis led the way into the master bedroom, exclaiming, “Oh, look, the street lamps outside are shining light into the room.”
She put the candlestick on the mantelpiece, and made her way to the bathroom. Here she found a pile of towels Millicent Plymouth had put there yesterday.
She carried them out and placed them on the bed, then went to Falconer, who stood watching her. As she drew closer, he reached out and grabbed hold of her, pulling her into his arms.
He said against her cheek, “I really am in love with you, Alexis, and I always will be. Don’t start this with me unless you feel the same. You see, I’m not playing a game, I’m playing for keeps.”
“And so am I. I want you forever, James. Say you will be.”
“I will, and as soon as possible.”
Alexis smiled at him, amused, gave him a flirtatious glance and began to remove her jacket, and then her blouse. “Get undressed,” she said to him, and he did so.
Within seconds they both stood naked in the middle of the room and moved at the same moment, rushing into each other’s arms.
He held her face in his hands for a moment, kissed her on her forehead, and slowly began to pull the pins out of her hair. The abundant auburn locks fell down around her shoulders and, in the candlelight, they looked like alabaster against the auburn curls.
Alexis moved back into his arms, and pushed her body next to his. Her arms went around him, and she slid her hands down his back and onto his buttocks, pressed him closer. “I want to learn every part of you,” she whispered.
He did not speak. Instead he kissed her passionately, and they moved together, half stumbling to the bed. They fell onto it, still in a tight embrace. He continued to kiss her, his tongue touching hers, which to James was a true sign of absolute intimacy.
He pushed himself up on an elbow and looked down at her. How glorious she was, looking back at him, with her eyes full of desire and love. He suddenly knew she was as sensual as he was.
Reaching up she put her hand against his cheek, and said softly, “Touch me. Touch all of me. I want you to know all of me, James.”
“And I want the same.” He stroked her neck and her voluptuous breasts. He let his hand trail down her stomach and onto the mound of auburn hair between her legs.
Within seconds they were inflamed and fully aroused, and went into a frenzy of touching and kissing, until he slid onto her and took her to him almost roughly. Alexis cried out, filled with pleasure as he entered her and made her his. To her they had become one entity.
James was in total command, loving her completely, filled with passion, his sensuality taking him to new heights with her. She was as uninhibited as he was, and satisfied his every need. Ecstasy and rapture enveloped them.
They were unable to let go of each other. They lay in a tight embrace under the towels, talking quietly in the bedroom, illuminated by the dying candles and the pale light from the street lamps outside.
Suddenly, Alexis said, “I was so afraid you wouldn’t forgive me for the horrific way I treated you. And especially that day Jane and Reggie were present. I must have been ill. That’s the only explanation I have.”
“I’m certain you were,” James replied, holding her tighter. “I believe you were in a deep depression without really understanding it. I remember thinking that when I came to Goldenhurst with your father’s letter.”
“How could you know? Did I appear to be ill?”
“In a certain way, yes. You were pale, looked worn out, and sad, perhaps lost is a better word,” James explained, his voice soft, soothing. “You weren’t at all glamorous, although I realized you were in riding clothes. I suppose you seemed apathetic to me, like you couldn’t make an effort. But I must admit I was puzzled by your dislike of me. I thought perhaps you were jealous of my relationship with your father. Your hatred just didn’t make sense.”
“That did occur to me, too,” Alexis replied. “And also I probably was terribly unhappy, still grieving for Sebastian. But obviously I fell into bad ways. I let myself go, couldn’t be bothered. I just drifted along, had no purpose.”
“What pulled you up, pulled you out of it? Or should I say who?” he asked, loving her so much, wanting to know everything about her, to truly understand her.
“I believe it was Lord Reggie in one sense and Claudia, Sebastian’s daughter, in another.”
“Tell me more. I want to understand you and know everything.”
Alexis sighed. “Claudia was angry because I accepted an invitation to her sister’s birthday party and then didn’t go.” She told him about Claudia’s visit and everything she had said, and how it had affected her.
“Well, she was very tough with you,” James said gently. “But obviously she did you a very good service by actually telling you the truth. Her words made the right impression. And Lord Carpenter? What did he say to help you?”
Alexis let out a long sigh and recounted what happened the morning she had learned that Goldenhurst was entailed. When she began to explain what entailment actually meant, he stopped her.
“I know what an entailed house means, so you can stop there. And this upset you, did it?”
“I think looking back that it did. Maybe because I couldn’t understand why he did that,” Alexis admitted. “Don’t you think it was strange, James?”
“I’m not sure what I think. It was a lovely gesture to put you in his will, before you were married—protecting you in the way he did. The entailment may seem odd, but I believe he was a businessman at heart. He was a banker, after all.”
She was silent for a moment, and then said, “I’m not angry, nor really that upset … just perplexed.” She nestled close to him, and whispered, “We can always go there, to be alone, you know.”
Startled, James exclaimed in a low tone, “But wouldn’t it be hard for you to be there with me … would memories of him intrude…?” He let his voice trail off.
“No, I don’t think so … well, how do I know? I think I’ve grieved for him for a long time and now I’ve recovered. That’s why I was able to come back to London … and to you.”
“To me?” he said. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I came to my senses and understood that I had fallen in love with you, in Paris. I had then shut you out because I felt guilty about him. I was so wrong, James.”
“Talking of being alone, how are we going to manage that? I mean I share a flat with Uncle George. We can go there when he’s away—”
“And come here when the house is finished,” she interrupted.
“But you’ll have staff,” he pointed out. “We can’t create a scandal. People can’t know.”
“So we can always go to Kent for a weekend.”
“We’ll work it out,” he murmured. “Now, about the office, we are going to be totally discreet. Nothing will change. We have a routine, and we’ll stick with it. No gossip about us.”
“I totally agree,” Alexis said, her voice as firm and serious as his had been. “No gossip, no scandal. And I promise you, I won’t mention anything about our relationship to anyone.”
“Good girl,” he said, and whispered in her ear, “Shall we have another try at making a baby tonight?”
“Why not … I enjoy this very pleasurable trying.”