get it together,
brother

Freeman lost his job cleaning at the bridge. So he called me.

“Hey, Baby Sis.”

“Hi, Freeman. How are you?”

“Good. Look, those crackers fired me.”

“Oh yeah? Why?”

“I don't know. Some dumb shit.”

That meant that he did something and got caught.

“Oh. What are you going to do?”

“I'll get me another gig, but right now I'm kind low. Could you . . .”

I interrupted him to spare him the shame of having to ask his baby sister for money. But just before I spoke, I realized that he had no shame. He had never stood on his own, so he had no sense of pride. Without knowing some sense of pride, one can never feel shame.

“How much do you need?”

“I gotta pay my rent.”

“How much is rent?”

He told me, and I told him that I would pay it and slide him some money for food and a little for incidentals.

That evening I went to his apartment to drop off the money. When he opened the door, I nervously mumbled something and thrust the money in his hand. I couldn't look into his face, though, because I carried the shame that he couldn't feel.