miss olga's
advice

“Listen, child,” Miss Olga said, pausing to sneeze while swishing her tea with onions, lemon, honey, and brandy.

“God bless,” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“Gracias,” she returned. “Yes, I called you child. I don't care how old you get. You'll still be my child, whiskers and all.”

She rolled her eyes at me in mock sarcasm and settled into her seat.

“I've seen many suns rise and set, and I think I've learned a thing or two. I want to tell these things to you, and I want you to tell them to your niece. She's too young to understand now, but I don't want this to be lost. Call it Olga's Ocho Orders, if you want. Just don't lose it.

“Thing one. Know that even in a pile of mush, you can find a kernel of truth. So take that kernel, and remember where you got it. That means listen to everyone. They won't always be learned or lettered, but their voices are valid, so hear them.

“Thing two ties in with thing one. ‘Everyone is someone' includes you. Don't you ever let anyone take your heart like you used to let those little girls do. You, Song Byrd, are important, and you serve a purpose. You might not know it yet, but it's true. If you don't love yourself, you'll never love anything that comes from your body. You'll think that your kids are worthless. So love yourself.

“Thing three. Always carry tissues and safety pins.

“Thing four. Know that you are standing on the shoulders of great people. Where you are right now is a progression. All that went on before happened so that you can move forward. So act like it. Don't feel guilty about being successful. Enjoy success. You deserve it.

“Thing five. Always wear clean, neat underwear.

“Thing six. Cuss out one person everyday. Baby, it relieves stress.

“Thing seven. Either go hard or go home. Consistently try your hardest. You'll work up a sweat, and you'll be remembered for being a contender.

“Thing eight. Take a deep breath every day. You'll feel better.

“Here's a bonus. Don't take any wooden nickels. My friend Beetle says that. Now get out. I need to get back in bed. I'm sick, you know.”