It wasn’t long before the clouds burst open and freezing rain descended upon them in torrents. At her back, Sophia could feel the warmth of Jack’s chest pressing against her as he forced his horse into a hard gallop. Flecks of ice flew in her face, making her duck her head against the harsh wind while praying Jack would lead them home safely. Holding her steady between his arms, he leaned into the storm.
She’d not been prepared for this sort of thing, had not even sat in a saddle since she was fourteen, possibly younger. Yet here she was now, riding astride with her skirts hitched up around her legs and with Jack’s thighs bracing hers. It was completely improper – scandalous in the extreme – and all she could think was, at least it’s winter rather than summer and my legs are covered in thick wool stockings.
A blast of air whipped across the country road, swirling ice and rain in her face. The horse skidded and slid while Jack cursed. Sophia felt his entire body draw tight as she cried out in fear. The world seemed to tilt at a dangerous angle for one horrific moment before it righted once more. Sophia’s heart pounded as she fought to breathe. She was all too aware that they’d almost taken a dangerous fall, but at least their pace was slowing, albeit with a choppy rhythm. And then, blessedly, they drew to a halt.
Jack swiftly dismounted and pulled Sophia down while his horse limped slightly forward while shaking its head.
“I think he might have hurt himself,” Jack shouted over the howling wind. He ran a soothing hand over his horse’s flank before checking its legs and hooves. “The shoe has sprung on this side. Even a gentle pace will prove a chore for him now until I have a chance to remove it.”
“I can walk the rest of the way and get help,” Sophia suggested. “Or maybe we could return to the Scotts’ until the storm passes. I think they might be closer.”
Jack glanced in each direction while shielding his eyes against the elements. “There. Is that a house?”
Sophia peered through the falling sleet obstructing her vision and squinted when she spotted a square construction. “I’ve no idea.”
“Come on,” Jack said, and started forward. His horse limped along beside him.
“All right.” Sophia didn’t move. “You can seek shelter there with your horse while I go and fetch Mr. Fenmore and Edward.”
“Stop it, Sophia. We’re going to wait there together until this weather has passed.” He jutted his chin toward the structure in the distance. “Letting you head off alone would be the height of irresponsibility on my part.”
She huffed a breath, considered arguing, but decided against it when another blast of air knocked her sideways. The sleet nearly rendered her blind and while she had no wish to get stuck alone with Jack for any length of time, walking off alone in this weather would be both foolish and reckless. So she quickened her stride and hastened after his retreating form while sheets of white closed in around them. To her dismay, it looked like the storm was getting worse, not better.
“Do you know how to start a fire?” Jack asked when they stepped inside what appeared to be a shepherd’s hut. Consisting of one tiny room with a stove in one corner and windows on either side, it sat on large iron wheels so it could be moved from field to field.
“I think I can manage although there are only a couple of logs in the bucket.”
“Should be enough to see us through the next few hours.” Jack rummaged around and eventually grabbed a fur pelt and some rope. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
Shaking with cold, Sophia placed one log in the stove, added a handful of kindling, and used an available tinderbox to spark a flame. By the time Jack returned, slamming the door shut behind him, a slow but steady heat was beginning to emanate from the stove. Sophia glanced at him and instantly sucked in a breath as she rushed to pull him closer to the warmth.
“What happened to your greatcoat?”
“I managed to get Star to lie down next to the hut so he keeps his weight off his foot. I’ve spread my greatcoat and the pelt over him in an effort to keep him warm.” He shrugged out of his jacket as he spoke, then went to work on his soggy cravat. His fingers were rigid, his movements jerky. “You ought to remove your wet clothes as well before the chill gets any worse.”
“You…you want me to undress?” she asked. Her teeth clanked together as they chattered. She pulled her cloak tighter but all that did was make her colder as her frozen clothes pressed into her skin. “With you here?”
He gave her a look as if to say she’d be foolish to think he might step back outside, and pulled his shirt free from his trousers. “It’s up to you, but I would rather attend your wedding in three weeks from now instead of your funeral. Remember, the Scott boys didn’t drown, Sophia. They perished because of the cold.”
He wasn’t wrong. Peter and Philip were still alive when they were pulled from the freezing water. It was the sickness that followed that killed them. With this in mind, Sophia took a step closer to the stove and stuck out her hands in an effort to warm them while doing her best to ignore the man beside her – a man who had now removed his shirt. Out of the corner of her eye she could tell he’d gone to work on his trousers. Surely he did not mean to undress completely. Did he?
The very idea that he might caused her stomach to tighten and her pulse to race. They were in a tiny space designed for one person, and Jack was in the process of getting naked. Lord help her, she had no idea what to do, where to look, much less what to say. So she kept her eyes fixed on the stove and her mouth tightly shut while telling herself to keep calm. He was just being practical. Nothing wrong with that. No sensible person could blame him for trying to stay alive, right? In fact, if she valued her own life she’d do the same.
Only she couldn’t. The very idea of removing her clothes with Jack right there was so outrageous she could not bring herself to do it.
“Sophia?”
She glanced toward him without even thinking. Big mistake.
Her breath caught in response to the hard planes of muscle that caught her eye. It was like gazing upon a perfectly sculpted work of art, only better – more impressive due to the flesh and muscle rippling with every small movement he made. Her gaze swept over his shoulders, down the length of his arms and across the firm contours defining his chest.
Before she’d looked her fill, he moved, snatching up something he promptly held toward her. “Here. Take this.”
She forced her gaze to his hand and the blanket he held. The moment she grabbed it, he swung another blanket around himself, concealing his body from view.
“I strongly suggest you follow my lead,” he said, his dark brown eyes meeting hers. “If it makes it any easier for you, I’ll look the other way while you take off your dress.”
He turned away from her. Sophia’s grip on the blanket tightened. She was freezing and yet…
Swallowing, she glanced at the stove. It was doing its job but it would take forever to get her warmed up as long as she wore wet clothes. And was propriety really worth risking her health over? She considered the pros and cons. If she got undressed, no one would know besides her and Jack, and since she knew he had no interest in her in that way, then where was the harm? On the other hand, if she kept her clothes on, she might die.
She took a deep breath and made her decision. “I’ll need your help. The closure is in the back.”
There was a brief hesitation before he turned to face her. His eyes, which had been fierce with determination and concern moments earlier, were now unreadable as he said, “All right. Turn around.”
She did so and felt her heart jolt when his knuckles grazed the nape of her neck.
“Are you all right?” he asked, his voice gruff as he undid the first few buttons.
“Just cold, that’s all.” Because there was no way on earth she would ever confess to the scorching effect he was having on her. It was electrifying, like a piece of lightning zipping along her spine.
“Don’t worry. You’ll heat up soon.”
She almost laughed. Yes, she rather believed she would, though not because of the stove or the swift removal of her clothes, but rather because of his touch. Unable to speak, she merely nodded. And then the back of her gown was being pulled open, and she thought she heard Jack mutter a curse. But he cleared his throat and said, “I believe you can manage the rest on your own.”
“Right.” She glanced over her shoulder and saw that he’d turned away once more, offering her the privacy she required. “Thank you.”
He made a strange sort of sound at the back of his throat. “Just tell me when you’re done.”
Jack’s blood was on fire. And all it had taken was a tiny glimpse of Sophia’s back. Most of which had been obscured by her chemise. He wrapped the rough woolen blanket tighter around himself, took a seat on a bench intended to double as a narrow bed, and removed his boots so he could peel off his trousers and smalls. It wasn’t easy to do when his wet clothes clung to his skin like leeches. Or while keeping his gaze deliberately turned away from the woman undressing a few feet away.
His heart thumped in response to the one thing he’d vowed never to feel for her. Desire had always been something he’d faced with pleasure. His lovers had been experienced women who sought the same thing as he – a bit of good fun between the sheets without any further attachment after. Not to say he’d not bedded some of them numerous times. A few he’d even considered friends. But they’d always met him with open eyes and the solemn agreement that he’d never offer them more than a brief escape. And the sweet fulfillment accompanying it.
With Sophia, however, it would never be so simple. For one thing, their history would demand more from him if he made an advance. For another, she was now engaged to Edward who, while not his closest friend, was someone he respected. Third, if he took Sophia’s virtue he would feel obligated to wed her, except as his father had said, she was not the sort of woman a man in his position married.
Most importantly, he was not the sort of man who got between a woman and her fiancé. He was also not the sort of man who’d be able to kiss a longtime family friend and then pretend nothing had happened.
Which left him in a bit of a bind. Because his body desperately needed, more than ever before, the one person he knew he should not want. And now he was stuck with her in a miniscule hut, naked for all the difference the blankets made since there was nothing wrong with his imagination. Just knowing she was stepping out of her clothes immediately behind him made him ache. So he sat on the bench and stared at the wall while sleet drummed down on the metal sheet roofing.
“All done,” she said, her soft voice filling the air between them.
His chest tightened. He had to stay strong. For both their sakes. So he hardened his features to the best of his ability and forced his gaze toward her. Upon which he nearly growled at the unfairness of life and the manner in which fate had chosen to test him. It took every ounce of control he possessed to stay seated, to not close the distance between them and pull her into his arms, the vision she created nearly impossible to resist.
Her bonnet was gone and she’d undone her hair, the wet locks framing her beautiful face as they curled over her shoulders. Shoulders which were not only bare but smoother than silk. Then came the blanket, its stiffness concealing the curves he knew lay beneath. And finally her toes – the most perfect toes attached to the loveliest feet he’d ever seen.
Everything inside him tightened. Never in his life had he wanted to kiss a woman as much as he wanted to kiss Sophia in that moment. But he couldn’t. And he wouldn’t. So he fisted his hands and hardened whatever resolve he possessed, raising invisible battlements with every hope he’d survive her siege, and snatched his discarded trousers and smalls off the floor.
“Good.” His voice was harder than he’d intended, but that could not be helped. He carefully stood. “Let’s hang our wet clothes as best we can.”
She didn’t hesitate for one second. In fact, it almost seemed as though she required something with which to busy herself as much as he did. Curious that, though not an observation he’d let his mind linger on for one second. Too risky.
“While there’s not much space in here for two people,” she told him in an overly bright tone, “its size allows it to heat up quickly. Which is a good thing, wouldn’t you say? I mean, if we’d found a larger cottage instead, it would have taken much longer for us to warm up, don’t you think?”
Jack frowned while hooking the back of his trousers onto one of several pegs attached to the wall. It sounded like she was nervous. Another thought he decided to cast from his mind. “Yes.”
“In fact, I believe…” Her voice caught and he glanced at her. She was trying to hang her chemise up over one of the curtain rails, her slim arms reaching while the rest of her upper body seemed to strain against the confines of the blanket. She muttered a curse.
Jack shook himself. “Here. Let me help.”
Before she had a chance to deny or accept the offer, he snatched the chemise from her hands and slipped it over the rail. There.
“Thank you. I’ll…um… Perhaps there’s some tea?” She spun away and proceeded to rummage through every cupboard, box, nook and cranny. Of which there were very few. She was done in less than one minute. “It doesn’t look like there’s much of anything.”
Jack couldn’t help but smile in response to her pique. She sounded exactly the same as when she’d been little and she’d set her mind on something that didn’t work out. Like finding the bushes behind the mill filled with blackberries when she took him and his sisters there. Only to discover they’d been picked clean already by other children.
“It’s just as well,” Jack told her. “We don’t have any water with which to make it. Unless we go back outside and gather some sleet, and I would personally prefer to suffer the lack of tea than have to do that. How about you?”
She turned to face him, her face all frowny and serious. “I have to agree.”
He grinned. Trust Sophia to be annoyed over not being able to set her mind to something and get it done. He gestured toward the bench, the only seat available to them. “Let’s get comfortable, shall we? It could be a while before we’re able to leave.” Especially with Star being in the condition he was now in. Jack had done his best for the horse, had managed to settle him on the sheltered side of the hut. He could only hope his greatcoat and the fur pelt would stay on and protect the mount from the elements.
Sophia glanced around as if expecting additional chairs to pop out of nowhere. Eventually she flattened her lips and traipsed to the bench with the edge of her blanket trailing behind her. Her body slid into the narrow space beside him, her shoulder grazing his.
“Sorry,” she muttered, leaning away before she pressed against him once more as she shifted. A huff of frustration left her.
Jack tried not to laugh, but couldn’t quite hold back a chuckle. Their situation was by far the most unexpected and ridiculous one he’d ever found himself in. “It’s fine.”
She gave him an odd look. A tentative smile teased her lips. “I’m not sure any rational person would think this situation of ours is fine.”
“Come now,” he told her in his most cheerful tone. “This hut is undoubtedly one of the most luxurious ones of its kind. Why, the quality of the curtains alone suggests the man who bought it opted for the high end model.”
The edge of her mouth twitched a few times and then her smile became a grin. “One with windows on both sides instead of only one.”
“Exactly.” He kept his gaze on her, his chest filling with warmth on account of the sparkle he saw in her eyes. He’d caused that, he reflected with pride, by turning a somewhat disastrous situation into a humorous one. He leaned his shoulder against the wall and turned a little in order to better face her, the movement pushing his knee into hers. To his satisfaction, she did not shy away as she’d done when her shoulder bumped his, and he relaxed into his new position. He liked that point of shared contact. It pulled him back through time to when he and Sophia had been like…
Finding the right word was a struggle. They’d never been like brother and sister, but they’d always been closer than friends, the connection they’d built through their shared sense of humor and interests, a bond unlike any other. That was before his father had opened his eyes to the woman Sophia was growing into and to all the restrictions he suddenly ought to consider. Because he was the heir to an earl, and she nothing more than a foundling two upstanding people had taken pity on.
He flinched at the harsh reality as it swept over his shoulders. And then again when he allowed himself to face the truth he’d been running from these past four years. If Sophia had been the daughter of a respectable couple, if her parents had been gentry, then he would have started courting her as soon as he’d become aware of her as a woman.
Because he knew without doubt they’d get along. With her, he would be happy, and he rather believed she would be happy with him as well. But there was something more – deeper emotions linking his heart with hers. He felt it at the core of his being. Had always done so. But since the emotion would likely make him miserable if it began to take root, he tamped it down as he always did before it had a chance to destroy him.
After all, he could not have her. She’d always been destined to marry another. Edward, as it turned out.
Jack’s gut twisted with displeasure. He forced that feeling aside as well and made himself think of something else. Like the fact that he had been given a chance to re-connect with Sophia. It was an opportunity he ought not to waste. And so he said, “Remember how we used to hunt for bird’s nests in the spring?”
“We’d get a point for each one we found and the winner would then receive a medal.” She gave him a look. “Do you still have it?”
“The medal?” It had been made from the lid of a discarded tin. Jack and Edward had helped each other flatten the edges by hammering it with a rock. A knife had been used to create a small slit so the ribbon Sophia donated could be slipped through it and tied. He nodded. “It should be at Eastgate in a box under my bed.”
“Your sisters would usually tire of the game, but I always loved it. Even now, I’m drawn to the chirping of chicks.”
“How many nests did you find last spring?”
“I’ve no idea,” she said, affording him a look that suggested the contrary.
He grinned and pushed her knee with his own. “Liar.”
She smiled at him broadly, until he wished he could freeze that moment in time forever and keep it in his pocket. “Very well. I found six.”
“Only six?” He feigned a look of shock. “Why Sophia, I fear your nest finding skills have failed you.”
A playful swat landed on his arm. “I don’t have time for that sort of thing anymore. I’m busier now.”
“With the church and its parishioners?”
“There’s so much to do and I’m happy to help. It fills me with a wonderful sense of purpose.”
“I’m pleased to hear it.” He hesitated a second before he asked, “Do you think you’ll continue this work once you’re Edward’s wife?”
“I don’t see why not. He’s already helping with some of his father’s sermons, cementing his position. Once he gets his own parish, my work will likely increase rather than diminish.”
Jack frowned as he met her gaze. He couldn’t help it any more than he could the next words he spoke. “I just don’t see you being a vicar’s wife, Sophia.”
She started as if he’d jabbed her. “Why on earth not?”
“It’s too grave a position for someone as flighty as you.”
“Flighty?”
“No… I mean… That’s not the right word.” He sighed in frustration. “Forgive me, it’s just that this serious role you’ve crafted for yourself doesn’t match your lively and spontaneous spirit. As a child—”
“I’ve not been a child for some years now, Jack. People grow up and as they do, they change.”
“To some degree, I’ll grant you, but they don’t become completely different people and—”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help those in need. I’ll not allow you to fault me for finding comfort in the work I’m doing.”
“Of course not. I didn’t mean to imply that I did. It’s just…you were never able to sit still for any great length of time. Whenever I’d see you during Sunday service your gaze would be wandering everywhere, and as soon as the service was done, you’d usually hurry outside as if desperate to flee. Because you hated being forced indoors for any duration of time and because…” A memory, piercingly sharp, caught hold of his mind.
“What?” she asked, her brow wrinkling slightly.
“You always insisted God couldn’t be found in a building – that if one wished to find Him, one had to go out into nature.”
“I remember,” she said, her voice but a whisper.
“And yet you intend to bind yourself to a man who will force you into the very church you wish to escape, every day of the week. A man with whom you disagree on something elementally defining. Edward is going to be a vicar, Sophia, a man for whom the church encompasses God’s very essence.”
Her jaw tightened. She gave her head a swift shake. “What are you doing, Jack?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Edward and I have known each other for what feels like forever. We understand each other, even if there are matters on which our opinions differ. He is willing to give me the protection of his good name, which is more than any other man has ever offered me or is likely to offer me in the future. To say no to him would be incredibly foolish on my part, even if I do have to spend every day indoors, listening to scripture that doesn’t make me feel the least bit closer to God. But what does help – what does distract me from the gnawing ache of knowing I’ll never be able to marry the man I…” She sucked in a breath and stood, eyes wide with horror. Backing away, she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. As long as I’m able to do some good, then that’s enough. It has to be enough.”
He stared at her while his heart pounded hard against his chest. Hope gripped his stomach, turning it upside down while heat washed over his skin. He got up as well and stalked toward her, only stopping when she raised her hand.
“The man you what, Sophia?” His voice was hoarse, his body vibrating with the need to discover the truth.
She stared at him for a long drawn-out moment before she finally shook her head once more and said, “Nothing.”
Disappointment gripped his muscles, instilling in him a dangerous mixture of anger and pain. She was lying to him and the realization of this caused him to act. His hands came up of their own volition and gripped her arms hard. She gasped, but he didn’t let go. “Tell me, Sophia.”
“Stop it, Jack.”
“Not until you tell me who you’d rather marry instead.”
“I can’t!”
“Why?”
“Because it would make no difference,” she said as tears clogged her throat. “Because the confession would only make everything worse.”
He searched her eyes and found so much pain there it stabbed at his chest. “You’re certain of this?”
She stared back at him. “I don’t know why we’re discussing this, Jack. It’s a pointless issue.”
“What about this, Sophia?” He knew he was being rash and that she might hate him for what he was driven to do. But he couldn’t seem to stop himself any longer. So he drew her closer and dipped his head. “Is this a pointless issue too?”