Bright green pine garlands tied with red ribbons were strung above windows and doorways when Sophia arrived at the assembly hall Christmas dance several days later, accompanied by Edward and his parents. She’d not spoken to Jack since leaving him at the shepherd’s hut and had even asked Edward to deliver the lemons and honey she’d promised Mrs. Richmond so she wouldn’t run into him when he went to work on the roof.
As it turned out, this had been the right decision. According to Edward, Jack had already been at the Richmond house when he arrived with her delivery. Later, when Kaitlin and Felicity invited Sophia for tea at their home, Sophie turned them down. Going to Eastgate Abbey right now was much too risky, so she used excessive wedding preparations as an excuse.
But in spite of the effort she made to avoid Jack, Sophia was not able to do so forever. She had been keenly aware of his presence in church this past Sunday. It was as if his eyes had burned a hole in the nape of her neck during the service, warming her skin and flushing her cheeks.
The memory of the kiss they’d shared lingered, like a spot of stubborn paint upon her lips. Worse was what it had led to, not just the angst or confusion, the wish to flee from all she knew and simply disappear, but the dreams of them being together. Each night when she prepared for bed, she prayed she’d find herself swept away in his arms, even as she hoped she wouldn’t. The contradiction of what she wanted and did not want was driving her mad, each heated kiss and intimate touch she shared with him while asleep, more so.
And as a result, guilt constantly gnawed at her conscience, for it was Edward she was going to marry. Not Jack.
“I see they’ve forgotten the mistletoe,” Edward said as he led her into the dance hall. An aromatic scent of cooked meats wafted toward them from the supper room on the right – a reminder that there was food to be had, should they get hungry.
“They probably don’t want to risk someone taking advantage,” Sophia said while instinctively searching for the one man she both longed to see and escape from in equal measure.
“It looks like a new set is beginning,” Edward said while leading her into the crowded space. “Shall we dance?”
“Would it not be best for us to wait for your parents?” Sophia glanced over her shoulder at where the Fenmores stood. They appeared to have been waylaid by some friends.
“I can think of no reason to do so. Come, Sophia, we are to be married after all.”
The reminder made her heart hurt all over again. But since she loved Edward and none of this mess was his fault, she did her best to smile for his sake. He did have a point after all. They were to be married and it would be wrong of her to ruin what ought to be a happy occasion by being glum.
So she pressed herself closer to him and allowed him to lead her toward the dance floor. They took their positions opposite each other in preparation for the country dance about to commence, and when the lively tune began, she met him halfway. They spun and skipped while weaving a path between other dancers until Sophia was laughing with joy. She caught Edward’s gaze, which was always so somber, and found herself slightly entranced by the unexpected sparkle within it. A grin swiftly followed and her own smile broadened as they danced their way back in line. Whatever her feelings for Jack, she and Edward would find a shared rhythm.
Sophia took comfort in that.
“Would you care for refreshment?” Edward asked once the set had concluded and they’d moved toward the periphery of the room. “I am personally out of breath and parched.”
“A glass of lemonade would be welcome,” Sophia said. “If such is available.”
“I’m sure it is.” He steered her along, halting now and then to offer greetings to friends.
“There you are!” Felicity’s familiar voice prompted Sophia and Edward to turn as one.
“We just arrived five minutes ago,” Kaitlin said as she sidled up next to her sister. “What a crush.”
Behind them stood Jack, handsome as ever in his evening attire. His dark eyes seemed to pin Sophia in place. “Miss Fenmore. It’s a pleasure to see you again. You too, Mr. Fenmore.”
Heat filled Sophia’s cheeks before bathing her completely. Captivated by the intensity of Jack’s stare, she gazed at him while blood rushed through her veins. She forced herself to acknowledge his sisters and smile as if all was as it should be – as if she and Jack had not recently worn nothing but blankets while sharing a scandalous kiss.
“I’m so pleased to see all of you again,” she said. “We scarcely had a chance to chat after Sunday service.” Sophia had gotten caught up in conversation with Mrs. Scott immediately after the service. When the lady had finished thanking her for the wonderful contents of the basket Sophia delivered, Felicity, Kaitlin, Jack, and Edward had all been gone.
“We are rather busy these days with our gentlemen suitors,” Kaitlin explained. “In fact, I’m afraid you must excuse me since I promised Lord Cumberland the next dance.”
“I would be honored if you would partner with me for it,” Jack told Sophia once Kaitlin had left.
Fearful of how she might respond to even his most innocent touch, Sophia moved closer to Edward. “I’m not sure…um…that is to say, I—”
“Go on, Sophia. Dance with Jack.” Edward collected two glasses of lemonade from a passing server and handed one to Sophia, the other to Felicity. “I’ll dance with Miss Lancaster in the meantime.”
Sophia frowned as she sipped her drink. Was she imagining things, or did Felicity look as though she were about to be tortured? Her expression – the hope and yearning mixed with painful resignation – was so familiar it took Sophia no more than a second to place it. And when she did, she nearly gasped, then promptly drank some more lemonade to hide her reaction.
Dear Lord. Was it possible the man her friend pined for was Edward? If so, was Edward aware? And if so, did he return Felicity’s affection?
The chance he did but that he might not think he was fit to court an earl’s daughter pierced Sophia’s heart with such shattering force she almost winced. She glanced at him – at the man who’d been like a brother to her for most of her life – and noted the hint of sadness about his eyes.
“Miss Fenmore?”
Jack’s voice, firm and sure, pulled her out of her reverie. She set her glass aside and accepted the arm he offered. Before he could lead her off, she told Felicity and Edward, “Enjoy your dance.”
Edward’s lips parted as if he meant to respond, but then the moment passed, and Sophia was whisked away by Jack while Edward gave his attention to the woman Sophie believed he truly loved. Heavens, what a tangle.
“I’ve missed you,” Jack murmured close to her ear. He’d guided her to the spot where she was meant to stand in preparation for the next country dance. His hand slid discreetly along her arm, his fingertips grazing her waist right before he withdrew them. “And I’ve every intention of making you mine. Don’t marry Edward.”
He’d stepped away before she could register what he had said, leaving her body reeling in the wake of his touch. The implication of his words, spoken in this crowded place where anyone might overhear, was more than scandalous. It was ruinous.
She narrowed her gaze on him. He merely smirked, his eyes burning bright with devilish mischief. It wasn’t until the dance was underway and she stepped toward him that she had a chance to respond. “You can’t be serious.”
He held her gaze while he wrapped one arm around her waist, turning her about in time to the music. There was nothing abnormal in his movements. He followed the steps with faultless fluidity. And yet the heat from his hand burned through her dress to warm her back, the press of his palm more insistent than what was proper, yet too unobtrusive for anyone else to notice.
One of his black eyebrows rose in challenge. “I’ve never been more so.”
She wanted to argue, to shout at him for being unfair. He could not do this to her. Not now after she’d spent years adjusting to the idea of having to marry another, to the painful reality of Jack not wanting her, and to the fact that even if he did she’d never be good enough for him. But the dance prevented her from saying any of this as she was forced to take a few turns with other gentlemen.
Sophia did her best to smile and to look as though she enjoyed herself even though she’d never been more on edge in her life. It felt like an avalanche barreled toward her, and she stood no chance of outrunning it.
The gentleman with whom she’d been dancing released her to another, prompting her to blink as she gazed up into Edward’s familiar eyes. His lips quirked. “You look extremely put out, Sophia. Is Jack provoking you?”
“Yes. I mean, no. I mean…” She wasn’t sure of anything anymore. Her thoughts were in chaos.
Edward guided her between two other couples. “He cares for you. More than you know.”
Her heart started pounding. She needed to know where he stood in all of this. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. “As you care for Felicity?”
His eyes dimmed. A swift nod was all it took for him to confide his deepest secret before he spun her back toward Jack.
“We need to speak.”
“Yes,” she agreed. She wasn’t sure what was happening tonight but she felt like her life was about to change. Whether or not for the better, she couldn’t be certain. But she had her own concerns to air. For although she did not believe she and Jack stood a chance of being together, how could she speak her vows to Edward when he and she both loved other people? To do so would be wrong. And when it came to Edward and Felicity, Sophia believed Jack to be the only person who might be able to help.
“This way,” Jack said once the dance had ended. He’d caught her by her arm and was guiding her toward a door at the opposite end of the room. He tried the handle and, finding it unlocked, ushered her into the dimly lit salon beyond.
“We can’t be in here alone.” Sophie pulled away from him and turned. “What if someone saw us sneaking away together?”
“No one did. I checked.” He crossed his arms and studied her. “Now come here, Sophia, so I may kiss you.”
“Jack, I…”
“Yes?”
Confusion and want collided. “What are you doing?”
“Being as forthright as I know how.” He unfolded his arms and moved toward her. “You and I have spent years hiding our feelings, playing pretend, and hoping things would sort themselves out in the end. But they won’t. Not unless we can be honest with each other, which I’ll admit may require some courage.”
She searched his eyes, the depth of emotion she found there so intense she caught her breath. “What are you saying, Jack?”
He raised one hand and cupped her cheek, the soft abrasiveness of his thumb sliding over her skin to produce a surge of warmth deep within. “I love you, Sophia. I’ve done so for years, but my father…” His jaw tightened and she saw him flex his fingers. When he spoke next, his voice was strained. “I left because of him, added distance and tried to force us both to stop dreaming of something impossible so we could face reality instead. It was stupid. Of course it didn’t work. And then I learned you were marrying Edward.”
“Only because I knew I could never have you.” Her eyes stung in response to his words. She felt a tear slide between her lashes. He brushed it aside with his thumb, then leaned in and kissed her. Not with overwhelming passion this time, but tenderly, as though he sought to give her comfort.
“I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you.” He leaned his forehead against hers and pulled her into his arms.
“You told me you wished I wouldn’t get married because at least then I could be your mistress.”
He took a deep breath. Released it. “I never said any such thing. You made the assumption that I would have said mistress rather than wife. My mistake was failing to correct you.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because the situation was complicated. I didn’t want to give you false hope. But that has since changed. I’ve spoken with Edward and know now what I must do.”
“And what’s that, Jack?”
“Risk it all – everything – for the one thing that matters.” He leaned back and focused his gaze on her with forceful resolve. “My father won’t approve and neither will Society, but they can all go hang as far as I am concerned, because this is my life, my future, and I mean to spend every waking moment of it with you. If you’ll have me, that is. Marry me, Sophia, be my wife, and let me love you with all that I am.”
“But I…I mean… How would we manage to do so?” She blinked. “You said you spoke with Edward?”
“I did and he has given his blessing. He’ll even marry us in secret if that is what we wish. My thought was to procure a special license and get the deed done before anyone has a chance to protest.”
“That’s not a good plan.” She worried her lip. “Edward will be ridiculed if his fiancée marries another. Especially now that the first set of banns have been called. So will his parents, and after all they have done for me, I cannot treat them so thoughtlessly.”
“Officially breaking off the engagement will likely have a similar effect,” Jack said.
“Unless it became known that Edward’s heart was engaged elsewhere. If he were to form another attachment, then you and I would be free to marry immediately after without being criticized for it, I should think. Most people love a good romance. They also appreciate a good story of thwarting adversity. So they might be inclined to forgive and forget how the happily ever afters came about. Provided we play this right.”
Jack frowned. “Are you saying Edward would rather marry someone else?”
“Yes.”
“But who?”
She steeled herself for his reaction. “Your sister. Felicity.”
His mouth dropped open. Shock widened his eyes. And then, as if she’d just handed him the missing piece to a complicated puzzle, he said, “He never suggested any such thing. I wonder why?”
“Isn’t it obvious? Edward doesn’t think he stands a chance. Felicity is an earl’s daughter and he’s just a vicar’s son.”
“He’s gentry, though, and the Fenmores are respectable people. My parents have always spoken highly of them.”
“But would they approve a match between Felicity and Edward?”
Jack firmed his lips. “I’ll do my best to ensure it, though doing so may be easier if he’s no longer attached to you. Sophia, you’re absolutely right to formally break things off with him. It must be done. For everyone’s sake.”
“And if I do, you’ll marry me?”
“In a heartbeat.” He hugged her tightly before seeking her mouth with his own. His hands drew her flush against him, molding her to his more solid frame. Unlike the previous kiss, this one was fierce, hungry, and full of promise.
“You won’t mind facing your parents’ condemnation?” she whispered while pressing her cheek to his chest moments later. “I fear they’ll be angry with you for throwing your future away on me.”
His hold tightened and she felt his chest vibrate in response to a growl. “Like I said, I don’t care if they disapprove. You’re the woman I want – the woman I choose – and nothing is going to stand in my way of winning you any longer.”
Comforted by his fortitude and slightly awed by it too, Sophia leaned back and smiled at him with all the love she held in her heart. “Then I must speak with Edward.”