Chapter 37      

Chase was completely packed by the time Bonnie arrived. He could have had her stop coming after his casts were taken off, but since neither she nor Andy had raised the issue, he’d let it ride. He’d come to enjoy her company. 

Today it ended.

And so did his time with Barney.

Cupping the tabby kitten in his lap, he closed his eyes and savored the soothing purr. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten so attached to this little fur ball, or that he felt emotional about leaving him behind. But he did. He was feeling emotional about everything, it seemed.

Especially Moira.

All night he’d lain in bed, his head pounding, his chest tight, wishing he’d handled things differently. Been calmer. More apologetic. Kissed her one last time.

Bonnie arrived on time, and Chase stood to greet her with Barney cradled in his arms. She looked at the suitcases by the door.

“You’re leaving,” she said simply. “I wondered if you’d jump the gun. You’re still not completely healed, but I imagine you know that.”

“The bones will heal the rest of the way, and so will my head at some point,” he said, although after yesterday, he feared the headaches were going to be stronger than ever. He’d been so hopeful the acupuncture and healing sessions would permanently banish them, but now he knew they were triggered by work.

“You heart may not heal if you leave now,” Bonnie said. “From the greenish cast of your face, I’d say things are finished with Moira?”

Bonnie had never minced words, but this time she’d managed to pull his chain. “That’s not your concern.”

She shook her head. “Despite how hardheaded you can be, I’ve come to like you, Chase Parker, so I’m going to tell you what I see. You have two roads ahead of you, the one you had and a new one of your own making. Do you really want to go back to your old life? How was it working for you? Were you happy? Because you were a bump on a log when I first set eyes on you, and in the past weeks, you’ve changed into a much happier, more enjoyable man.”

Something inside him was moved by the rightness of her words, but he couldn’t let it affect his decision. Quid-Atch’s interests were in trouble, and it was largely his fault. Maurie had made sure of that. 

“This is vacation. It was a sojourn from reality,” he said, mimicking what he’d said to Moira.

“Reality is what you make it,” she said in a strong voice. “I had high hopes you had the courage to make yours into something new.”

For a time, he’d thought so too, but that was over now. “I have people who depend on me. Leaders don’t always have the freedom to do what they want. That’s something Evan doesn’t understand.” His boss and friend had the luxury of spending years, if needed, to turn a wild thought into reality. Not everyone could live that way. Nothing would get done.

“I think Evan has the right idea about life from what I can see,” she said, “and he certainly cares about you. Maybe he has more of the right answers than you think.”

For himself perhaps, but not for Chase and certainly not for Quid-Atch. Chase felt Barney paw at his stomach. “I’ve appreciated you letting me spend time with your cat.” He made himself walk over to her with Barney.

Her round face turned stern. “Barney isn’t my cat, Chase. Evan said you used to like them when you were a kid, so he asked me to find one for you. He even named it after a barn. Get it? Barn cat?”

“But how did he know?” Chase asked, shifting his weight. “I—”

“You might ask him,” she said, shaking her head.

Suddenly a light bulb went on. Chase suspected Evan had arranged for him to have a rental that looked like his old house. Thinking about his friend’s kindness, of the efforts Evan had gone to for him, made Chase wish they weren’t at odds at the moment.

Bonnie came over and patted him on the shoulder before turning away again. “I’m not one for goodbyes, so I’ll head out since you’re leaving too. I wish you all the love and happiness in the world, Chase. I’m just not sure you’ll accept it.”

“Wait!” he said as she walked to the door and opened it. “I can’t take Barney with me. I travel. I work—”

“Not my problem,” Bonnie said. “But if you give that cat away, you’ll discover I can live up to the fearsome name of Helga.”

He followed her onto the porch, but she wasn’t stopping. “This is ridiculous!”

“I couldn’t agree more,” she called out as she got into her car.

Looking down at Barney, he shook his head. “Evan got you for me? What in the hell was he thinking?”

He knew what his friend was thinking. This was another of the Pollyanna inventor’s crazy schemes. Checking his watch, he noted he had ten minutes to get ready before Rajan and Darren picked him up. Time to check his phone. Sure enough, it was fully operational.

Chase made his way through the house one last time, checking to make sure he had everything. He felt a tug of longing when he looked at the smoker on the back patio. It had been fun, exploring that hobby again. Maybe he could buy one for his house in Virginia.

Except he was never home.

He hated that house.

The last item he needed to make peace with was the Home Sweet Love pillow. He’d wanted to give it to Bonnie, but the damn woman had shocked him by leaving without taking Barney with her. He’d forgotten all about it. While he didn’t want to leave it, he couldn’t bear to take it either. 

He’d give it to Moira. That was it. She liked homey things with sayings on them. Her whole house was full of them. He’d never given her anything, he realized. Well, maybe she could remember him fondly someday. And if he couldn’t give her his heart…

He wrote a quick note to her before he changed his mind.

Dear Moira,

You know the history of this pillow my mom made and everything it survived. I want you to have it. I hope one day the words will become your reality.

Chase

He looked at the letter. Reality? Isn’t that what Bonnie had just said? He picked it up to ball up the paper and start over, but couldn’t. He really did wish her Home Sweet Love.

It just couldn’t be with him.

He heard the crunch of tires on the snow and left the note next to the pillow. He’d text Evan about it getting it to her.

Looking around the house one last time, he had a moment of deja-vu. In one frame, he saw the home he’d grown up in, the one that had been taken away by fire. In another frame, he saw the home he’d enjoyed these past weeks, cozied up in front of the fireplace with Moira, Barney curled up on his lap.

Chase wasn’t meant for home and hearth, but this time he wasn’t being forced out by an act of nature. He was leaving it of his own accord.

A knock sounded on the door, and he crossed the living area to open it.

J.T. Merriam filled the doorway. “Hi! There’s been a change of plans. Rajan and Darren had to leave earlier. I have my plane in Denver, and I’m going to give you a ride to D.C.”

Chase wanted to punch him in the mouth for his interference—at Evan’s request, he expected. “You’re just going to give me a ride? I can wait for my own plane.”

“Look, I know you’re probably more than a little pissed at me, and Evan too. In your shoes, I might feel the same way. Hey, is that your cat? What a sweetheart. Is he coming with us?”

Barney took the opportunity to jump into the man’s open arms. Chase wanted to growl. “I need to focus on Quid-Atch business right now.”

J.T. scratched the kitten behind the ears, obviously a total pro. “I’d like you to hear me out. Plus, you need the ride. Why wait a few more hours when I’m offering my plane?”

“You aren’t going to change my mind about anything,” Chase said, giving him a pointed look. “Not that I completely understand what the hell Evan is thinking right now.”

A dimple appeared in J.T.’s cheek. “You might be surprised. We have a lot more in common than you realize. A few months ago I had a major gut check—like your accident seems to have been for you. It’s made me look at everything differently. Let me put your bags in the car. I’ll tell you everything on the way to Denver. If I haven’t convinced you to listen to more, you can take my plane without me. All I ask is that you send it back for me so I won’t be stranded here. Agreed?”

The man knew how to drive a hard bargain. “Agreed. And yes, we’re taking the cat.”

“Great! I love them. Been trying to decide if I want to get a dog or a cat. I might just get both because why the heck not?”

No wonder J.T. and Evan were chatting about working together—they were both off their rocker. He let the man grab his bags and turned to take one final look at the house.

As he closed the door, he felt like he was closing the door on two chapters, the past he’d loved and the future he’d dreamed about for only a moment.