‘It might as well have been made for you, Mrs Lacey.’ Ruby smiled into the mirror at the woman’s dainty image. Mrs Lacey had been a regular client at the milliner’s for almost two years now; about the same length of time as Ruby had been there. She was a pretty woman with an oval-shaped face and long fluttering lashes. Every one of the four hats she had tried would have flattered her, but the neat cream creation with its tiny lace veil that reached just below the eyes was something very special. ‘This one suits you best of all,’ Ruby remarked truthfully, at the same time tilting the hat at an attractive angle on the woman’s swirl of dark hair.
Reaching forward in her seat, the woman examined the hat from every side. At length, she returned Ruby’s warm smile. ‘As usual, you’re right, my dear,’ she declared. ‘I’ll take it.’ And, being a woman of decision, she quickly summoned her waiting driver, who dutifully collected the cumbersome hat-box and afterwards accompanied his mistress out to the waiting carriage.
After entering the item on Mrs Lacey’s account, Ruby watched them drive away down the road. Returning inside, where she glanced at the small marble clock on the new elegant fireplace, she was astonished and relieved to see that it was almost five. With a sigh, she turned the door sign over to read CLOSED. Normally, she would have remained open a while longer, but on this glorious June Saturday she felt unusually weary. Besides, she had other business to attend to, and was concerned that Widow Reece had not returned. These past twelve months, that poor woman had been in considerable pain, the delicate bones in her hands growing increasingly troublesome, and after a great deal of persuasion from Ruby, she had finally made an appointment to visit the doctor.
Ruby was clearing the counter, deep in thought, when the girl emerged from the back room. She was a slight fair-haired young creature with a nervous way about her, though she was a quick learner and Ruby was delighted with her progress. ‘I’ve finished my work, Miss Miller,’ she said in a peculiar high-pitched voice. ‘Is there anything else you’d like me to do before I go?’
‘No, thank you, Katie, it’s already gone five,’ Ruby answered. ‘You get off now. You don’t want to miss your tram.’ At first, Ruby had been reluctant to take on a girl who was so young and inexperienced. But her wages were small, and already she was proving to be a godsend. She worked hard and she had a natural aptitude that ran through all her work. Besides which, she had a flair for colour and design that prompted Widow Reece to tell Ruby ‘The girl reminds me of you when you first came here.’
‘Goodnight then,’ she called out as she closed the shop door behind her. After locking the door, Ruby went into the back room. As usual it was left neat and tidy, much as she herself liked to leave it. She thought fondly of that first day when she came to work here. ‘Was it really almost two years ago?’ she mused aloud. It only seemed like yesterday to her.
So much had happened in that time; so many memories were made, some good and some bad. On the good side, Lenny was making a fine young man, and the other three childer were making strides at the Church school; Lottie was a fine sturdy infant, with an amiable and delightful nature. Thanks to Ruby’s growing affluence and Lenny’s considerable contribution, they were all well clothed, and hunger was a thing of the past in the Miller household. On the work-front, Ruby had eagerly absorbed everything Widow Reece had taught her, and more besides. She had grown competent and knowledgeable where the business side was concerned; so much so that Widow Reece had gradually relinquished the greater responsibility, until it was now Ruby who virtually ran the business. Profits had exceeded all expectations. Her savings had grown considerably, and she felt as though at long last she had achieved something. Yet, Ruby looked on it only as a beginning. More and more she felt in charge of her own destiny, and it was a good feeling.
Her only regret was Johnny. She loved him as much as she had always loved him, and she knew instinctively that he loved her; although he didn’t tell her so any more. Instead, he smiled and talked with her. He congratulated her on realising part of her ambitions, and he was the perfect gentleman. But he rarely stayed when she was around, nor did he make any attempt to cross her path. Oh, there were times when she wanted him to, when she remembered that glorious night of love and longed to be held close in his strong loving arms. For a while after that night, Ruby had thought she was with child. But then it proved not to be. Often she wondered whether she would have been satisfied and happy with such an event, married to Johnny and raising their children. But the thought frightened her and so she launched herself deeper into her work. To her, Johnny still represented a life she wanted no part of.
On the bad side, her mam had been prematurely widowed and Ruby herself, along with the other childer, had lost a caring father. Since her man had been taken two years ago this coming Christmas Eve, Lizzie was a changed woman, less active, quick to temper and prone to deep silent moods. The atmosphere in that little house on Fisher Street was different somehow. This was one of the reasons why Ruby had finally decided it was time to move the family away. She had already paid an advance rent on a bigger property, and tonight she would break the news to her mam. In view of Lizzie’s set ways and vehement opposition to any change for the better, Ruby didn’t relish the idea of telling her.
Besides being deeply concerned about her mam, Ruby was disturbed about things she had heard with regard to Cicely. There were growing rumours that Luke Arnold was not the wonderful husband Cicely had hoped he would be, and it was claimed by some that he was blatantly unfaithful. So many times, Ruby had toyed with the idea of visiting her in that grand house on Preston New Road; a palatial place chosen by Luke and paid for by her father as a wedding present. But she thought better of it. Cicely had made her feelings plain long ago, when she cruelly dismissed Ruby; she certainly wouldn’t thank her for turning up on the doorstep now.
Ruby was visibly startled when a voice spoke quite close to her. ‘My, you are deep in thought, aren’t you?’ It was Widow Reece, and Ruby hadn’t even heard her come in. She was even more startled, some moments later, when she realised that the other woman had not only been to the doctor’s but had attended a meeting with none other than a representative of Gabriel’s Fashions, a fast growing chain of stores that was spreading throughout the North West and sold everything from pins to overcoats. ‘They want to buy us out,’ she told Ruby. ‘And to be honest, I am greatly tempted.’
Ruby was horrified. ‘Buy us out?’ she gasped. ‘We can’t do that!’ For one fleeting awful minute she saw all their good work going out the window.
Widow Reece took off her coat and with slow studied movements laid it over the back of the chair. Then she folded the front of the ankle-length skirt between her hands and seated herself, at the same time giving Ruby a long hard look. ‘I’m sorry to spring it on you like this, Ruby,’ she said softly. ‘No one knows better than I how hard you’ve worked here. I know this must come as a shock, but Gabriel’s approached me some four months ago and I’ve been at my wits’ end ever since. They don’t know that I’ve sold a share of the business to you, and I kept that to myself because I didn’t want them talking to you. I didn’t want to tell you then and I don’t want to let you down now.’
‘Then don’t,’ Ruby pleaded. She was no fool. She knew that if Widow Reece sold her larger share of this business, it would put her in a very vulnerable position. However, what she heard next tempered her anger.
‘I have no choice, you see,’ Widow Reece went on. ‘As you know, I’ve been to see the doctor.’ She made a little sob in the back of her throat, but her face remained remarkably impassive as she continued in a subdued voice, ‘The news was worse than I’d feared.’
Seeing that the woman was distressed, Ruby came and sat on the chair opposite, ‘What is it?’ she asked gently. ‘What did the doctor have to say?’
For answer, Widow Reece raised her hands and made an effort to stretch the gnarled fingers. They made a grotesque sight, twisted and thin, like brittle twigs that had been trodden underfoot. ‘Even to lift a sheet of paper has become agonising.’ She laughed, but it was a pitiful sound. ‘Do you really want to know what the doctor told me?’ Ruby nodded her head, her eyes intent on the other woman’s face. ‘He told me that it’s only a matter of time before the crippling disease spreads to other joints. Then who knows?’ She raised her wretched eyes. ‘I’ve tried. You know I’ve tried, Ruby.’ The sigh she made reached deep inside. Her head bowed a little as though a mighty weight was slowly crushing it down. ‘It’s time to rest now, I think,’ she said. ‘Time to say goodbye to this place and go to live in Scarborough with my sister. As you know, she’s been badgering me for some time now.’ She roved her quiet gaze around the shop. ‘I shall miss it, you know. And I shall miss you.’
Ruby was ashamed. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I didn’t realise your condition was worsening. Why did you never say anything?’
‘Because I wanted to fool myself, I suppose,’ she confessed. ‘And I can be very devious when I want. I’ve become adept at hiding my ugly hands, and keeping my emotions from prying eyes.’ Realising how cruel that might sound, she quickly retracted her remark. ‘Oh! I didn’t mean you… I mean… you’ve been so kind and understanding. Please, Ruby, understand now. The harsh truth is this… I simply can’t go on.’
Ruby put her mind at rest. ‘It’s all right. I do understand,’ she replied. ‘We’ve been a good team, you and I.’ Even as she spoke, the germ of a plan was taking shape in her fertile mind. ‘Couldn’t we remain partners? If I was to run the shop altogether, you would be able to take things easy, perhaps go on a long holiday. You know I’ll take good care of things in your absence.’ There must be a way to keep the shop, she thought frantically. THERE HAS TO BE A WAY!
Widow Reece merely smiled, a sad little smile that sank Ruby’s hopes. ‘I’m sorry, dear,’ she said. ‘I have tried so hard to hang on, but now I must burn my bridges. I’m not young any more. There can be no half measures, and the only money I have in the whole world is tied up in this business. You know I have to do this, don’t you, dear? There is no alternative but to accept the generous deal offered by Gabriel’s.’
‘Have you given word?’ Ruby wasn’t finished yet.
‘Not yet. But I promised to get back to them within the week.’
‘And what if you found another buyer?’
‘Oh, but I haven’t.’
‘Sell it to me!’
‘TO YOU!’ Widow Reece’s mouth fell open as she continued to stare at Ruby. ‘I’ve been offered four hundred guineas, my dear,’ she explained. ‘I would be a fool to settle for less.’
‘I’m not asking you to settle for less.’ Momentarily taken aback by the amount involved, Ruby’s thoughts were still racing. ‘I’m willing to match Gabriel’s offer.’ She saw how the other woman was about to interrupt, and so she pressed on. ‘You say they’ve offered you four hundred guineas for the entire business?’
‘That’s right.’
‘And I now own twenty-five per cent, isn’t that so?’
‘You know it is.’
‘So, according to our agreement, when the sale is complete, I should have somewhere in the region of one hundred guineas coming to me… twenty-five per cent of the purchase price. Am I right?’
‘Yes. That’s perfectly true,’ Widow Reece confirmed. ‘So you see, my dear, with the excellent value put on the business, you will be quite well off. And rightly so, because it’s thanks to you that the accounts show excellent returns.’
‘Please, I have something to propose. Will you hear me out?’
‘I’m listening.’ She settled back in the chair and, watching Ruby’s face closely, paid particular attention to what was being said.
‘I know that a hundred guineas is a great deal of money, and I know there are things I could do with it that I never imagined.’ Ruby’s voice was strong and firm as she continued to put her case. ‘The plain fact is, I don’t want the money. Your mind is obviously made up, and I can understand why. But if this business is on the market, as far as I’m concerned, there’s only one buyer. And that buyer is me!’ She took a deep breath. ‘I can’t pay you the entire amount all at once, you know that. But, taking my own share into account, I estimate that, you yourself will end up with approximately two hundred and sixty guineas after solicitor’s costs?’
‘A little more than that, I think. I certainly don’t intend paying my solicitor such an extravagant sum as forty guineas.’ She was impressed by Ruby’s business acumen. ‘But go on, my dear,’ she urged. ‘Where is all this leading?’
‘I have saved hard over these past two years,’ Ruby explained. ‘Oh, it isn’t a great fortune, but it represents two years of hard scrimping and saving. It isn’t anywhere near what you want, and I know there isn’t a bank or money-lender in the world who would put up the capital for me to buy this business. But, scraping almost everything I have together, I can pay you a good lump sum straightaway, and the remainder on a monthly basis. What do you say?’ With her heart in her mouth, she waited for an answer.
It took a moment for the other woman to recover. Here was an eventuality she had not prepared for. ‘Oh, Ruby! Ruby! It would take a lifetime to pay off the debt.’ She shook her head. ‘No, I don’t think it’s feasible,’ she reluctantly replied. To her mind, a burden such as Ruby wanted to shoulder was terrifying. But Ruby never ceased to amaze her.
She persisted, ‘With respect, you’re wrong. It wouldn’t take me a lifetime. If you still plan on going to your sister in Scarborough, the earning potential in this business will be doubled virtually overnight.’ Her quick mind was racing ahead and she felt as though she was fighting for her very life.
Widow Reece was curious. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Oh, I had such plans… expanding here, then in a couple of years, perhaps opening another milliner’s in Darwen, then Preston. You know yourself it was within our grasp. I would still work towards that end, and promise you your money within the space of five years.’
‘That’s very ambitious, my dear.’
Sensing that Widow Reece was warming to the idea, Ruby described her immediate plans. ‘If I had this business, and you vacated your flat above, what a marvellous salon it would make… the clients could come here to have their nails manicured, we could dress their hair and pamper them upstairs, then send them on their way with a new hat to suit their new hairstyle. Land has been earmarked for future development in this area. That means business is bound to increase. The opportunities for expansion will be limitless. Gabriel’s are no fools. They know the potential. We’re positioned well here. You can be sure they’ve done their homework.’
She paused for breath before asking beseechingly, ‘If you really have to sell, please let it be to me. It can all be drawn up by your solicitor – the period of time over which you want the money repaid, and the amount each month… even a share in the profits if you’d prefer. You have my word, I will pay you back, every penny that I owe, and in the stated time. Will you? Will you do it?’ she pleaded. While Widow Reece seriously considered what had been said, Ruby’s heart was in her mouth. She hardly dared to breathe. Finally, after what seemed an age, the answer was given.
‘If there was the slightest chance, you know I would want you to have this place, providing you could afford it.’ The older woman regarded Ruby with admiration. ‘But then, I shouldn’t be surprised if you’ve saved a considerable amount. Especially when you’ve spent every hour God sends with your back bent to your work, forever striving to improve things, always searching for that elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow… no social life, nothing else but this business to fill your days and your nights.’
Many was the time she had come down at two in the morning to find Ruby still poring over the books, or sitting knee deep in repairs and half-finished hats. In all her life, she had never come across anyone like Ruby. She was totally inspiring. ‘All right. I’ll talk to my solicitor and see what he thinks about your proposition,’ she promised, ‘I owe you that much. But I’m promising nothing, you understand?’
‘I understand,’ Ruby declared, her eyes bright with excitement as she began pacing the floor. ‘I haven’t even begun to spread my wings,’ she said, in a voice so low that it was barely audible. Oh, the things she had planned! How could she let it all fall away? Turning round, she said gratefully, ‘If you can persuade him, you won’t regret it, I promise. If all is well and you sell this place to me, you can rest assured that it will be cared for, just as you yourself have always cared for it, and the door will always be open to you.’ She smiled then, and never was there more affection between these two women. ‘You gave me my first chance and I won’t ever forget.’
‘Oh, if it hadn’t happened here, you would have found a way, Ruby. There’s fire in your soul and a hunger in your blood.’ She’d always known Ruby was different. ‘You were born to be successful,’ she said whimsically. ‘For my part, I’ll do everything humanly possible to find a way. But, like I’ve said, I won’t promise anything.’ She was suddenly weary. Getting out of the chair she said, ‘I think I’ll make my way to bed. The day’s events have tired me out.’
The sun was still shining brightly when Ruby put on her light blue coat and departed the shop, at once making her way to the tram-stop. ‘Montague Street,’ she told the conductor. Once there, she clambered from the tram platform and set off at a fast pace.
Coming to the top of Derwent Street, she paused a moment looking down its considerable length. It was an ordinary street, flanked both sides by doorways and big square windows dressed with pretty net curtains. Its pavements were lined all along with fluted gas-lamps. Some way down, a number of children played in the road, hopping across the cobbles and laughing with that carefree joy which should be natural to all children.
Ruby watched them for a short while before going to the second house on her left. The door was dark brown with six panels and the number four at the top. Fishing in her skirt pocket, Ruby took out a long iron key. Inserting it into the lock, she turned it and pushed the door open. Cold air made her shiver as she went along the passage and into the back parlour. ‘Oh, Mam, you’re going to love this house,’ she murmured, standing in the doorway and casting her gaze around the room.
The parlour was almost twice the size of the one in Fisher Street, and the back window was high and large, letting the sunshine spill in. Strolling round the room, Ruby lovingly stroked her fingers along the wooden mantelpiece. She opened and shut the cavernous cupboards in the recesses either side of the fireplace, peeped inside the big oven in the fire-range, then went to the window where she gazed out into the daylight.
On Fisher Street the back parlour window overlooked a flagstoned yard. But here, you could look out of the window on to a small patch of green grass. There were even little pockets of soil that were once flowerbeds and could be again. At the bottom of the small square lawn stood the lavatory house. It even had a little window in the narrow wall, and what was more, the window was covered in the prettiest lace curtain.
As she went from room to room, Ruby’s heart sang. There was a front parlour, a scullery with proper cupboards and a sparkling white sink situated beneath a wide window. There were four good-sized bedrooms; a bedroom big enough for the twins to have a bed each, another for Lenny to be on his own as a growing man should be; and two other large rooms, one for her and Dolly, and the best one at the front of the house for her mam and little Lottie.
Downstairs, there was room enough so that they wouldn’t all be under each other’s feet. ‘So much room!’ Ruby cried, hurrying upstairs then down, and upstairs again. ‘Room enough to breathe,’ she said aloud, her heart painfully full. ‘Room enough to grow.’
After a while she closed the bedroom doors and went downstairs. Here, she drew pictures in her mind, pictures of how it would be. Of course, she would want her mam to have new furniture, pretty curtains and everything she could never have before. There would be big soft armchairs and colourful rugs. Oh, and Ruby would pay an odd-job man to decorate every room, just the way her mam wanted it. Oh, she couldn’t wait to see her face tonight when she told her about this lovely house on Derwent Street. And it was theirs. The rent was paid for three months in, and it was theirs. IT WAS THEIRS! Ruby could hardly believe it herself. At long last, her dearest wish was coming true.
Returning downstairs, she ensured that everything was secure then went quickly down the passage and out of the house. Halfway down the street, a woman and a man sat on chairs outside a front door. Their heads were bowed in earnest conversation. Suddenly they glanced up and saw her. There was a moment’s hesitation at seeing a stranger, but then the woman put up her hand in greeting. The man stretched his back, took out his pipe and nodded in a friendly manner. They were too far away to converse so they exchanged smiles with Ruby. Her heart raced. Thoughts of the conversation she and Widow Reece had earlier raced through her mind and thrilled her. She believed with all her heart that the business would be hers. She felt it in her young bones. This wonderful day was a day she would remember for the rest of her life.
Ruby turned to look lovingly at the house once more before she left. It was a strong solid house, warm and welcoming. It seemed to be telling her that it would take care of them, that they would be happy in Derwent Street. ‘Oh, Mam. You’ll love it so,’ she murmured. And, with that in mind, she hurried to the tram-stop. It was ten minutes to Fisher Street, but to Ruby, who couldn’t wait to tell her mam all the exciting news, it seemed like a lifetime.
I want no part of it!’ Lizzie banged her fist on the table, sending the crockery into a comical jig. There was a time when she would have contained her anger before the young ’uns, but that was before her darling man was taken from her and she had grown sour with the whole world. Turning from Ruby, she addressed herself to the childer. ‘Eat yer teas, then get out and play awhile.’ When Ruby tried again to talk with her, she jerked her head sideways and said solemnly, ‘I don’t want to discuss it, d’yer hear? Not any of it!’ And with that she set about her rabbit pie, her head bent low and a look of defiance about her whole countenance.
Ruby thought it best to leave her mam alone a while. At least until she’d had her tea and the childer were out from under her feet. Even with Lenny working and Dolly at Church school with the twins, there was still Lottie to tend to, and enough work in this little house to fray her mam’s nerves. Besides, Lizzie was still missing her mate, and nothing in the world could compensate for a loss of that magnitude.
The meal continued in a strained atmosphere, with only the clatter of knives and forks breaking the awful silence. Presently, Lizzie got to her feet and told the childer, ‘Take yerselves off and play in the street. I’ll call yer when it’s time fer yer beds.’
‘Can I take Lottie out?’ Dolly wanted to know. ‘I’ll sit her with me against the wall, and we’ll just watch the others. I’ll not let her come to harm, Mam,’ she promised.
Thinking hard, Lizzie pursed her lips and scowled. These days her old familiar smile seemed to have been buried beneath a constant frown. ‘Go on then,’ she said. ‘But mind yer stay with her now!’
Dolly collected the infant into her arms and went away with her, all the while crooning and making the little thing chuckle out loud. The twins soon followed. But Lenny remained in his seat, slowly eating the remains of his meal and watching the two women with growing interest. He sensed trouble brewing here, and being man of the house, he thought he should be on hand. ‘What’s all this about moving, our Ruby?’ he asked slyly. He took umbrage at not having been consulted.
Thinking she could warm her mam to the idea, Ruby explained enthusiastically, ‘I’ve got us a lovely house on Derwent Street. It’s got four big rooms upstairs, and it’s closer to town. Our mam won’t have far to walk to the shops.’
With the childer out of the way, Lizzie let her temper explode. ‘That’s enough talk o’ moving!’ she snapped. ‘You’ll not get me setting foot in that house on Derwent Street. Nor in any other fancy place you put your mind to.’
‘It’s not a fancy place, Mam,’ Ruby protested. ‘It’s just a bigger house, with a window in the lavatory wall and a real little garden in the back.’ She so much wanted her mam to understand. ‘I got it for you. So you could have a place to sit when the sun shines, and a bigger parlour that’s not so cluttered and where you won’t keep bumping into things.’
‘Unlike you my girl, I can do without what I’ve never had. Lizzie retorted. ‘And I wouldn’t know what to do with a garden if I had one. Besides, what’s wrong with sitting out front in a stand-chair, eh? And if I bump into things in the parlour, it’s my parlour, and the things I bump into are the very same that me and yer dad bought over the years.’ She shook her head vigorously. ‘If you’ve been entertaining ideas about installing yer mam in some strange place among strange folk, then you’d best think again.
Are yer listening to what I’m saying?’ she demanded angrily. ‘You’ll not be moving Lizzie Miller outta Fisher Street… not until she’s cold and stiff and lying in her box!’
‘But, Mam, won’t you at least go and see it?’ Ruby was certain that once Lizzie saw the house, she would fall in love with it.
‘No! I’ll not go and see it. What’s more, I’ll not have another word said on the matter.’ She slammed herself down in the rocking chair and began to rock herself furiously. ‘Not another word,’ she muttered, turning her head towards the empty fireplace.
Ruby had been worried for some long time about the way her mam was moping. Her grief seemed to have turned inward, and there was no reaching her any more. ‘Surely you can come and see the house before you make up your mind,’ she pleaded.
‘Never!’
What’s the matter with you, Mam? Are you afraid you might like it? Can’t you face the fact that there just might be life after Fisher Street? Tell me what’s so special about this place?’ She was desperate now. Flinging her arms wide, she pointed to the walls and the dark brown streaks where the rain trickled down in winter, and the damp rose up in the midst of summer. ‘This is what you’re clinging to… a place where the roof’s riddled with holes and the damp gets on your chest, making you cough until you ache. The landlord refuses to spend a penny on it, and he makes you pay the earth for the pleasure of living here! It’s ripe for demolition, you know that, and yet you won’t admit it. Why won’t you admit it, Mam? And why in God’s name won’t you let me take us all to somewhere better before the winter’s on us again?’
She was bitter now. All her plans meant nothing if they didn’t carry her mam and the family along as well. ‘Didn’t you hear what I said? Widow Reece is retiring on doctor’s orders and there’s every chance I could buy the business. On top of that, I’ve got us a decent house on Derwent Street. And you won’t even listen. Why Mam? WHAT ARE YOU FRIGHTENED OF?’
Of all the things Ruby could have said, that was the worst. Without realising it, she had touched on the truth of the matter. Lizzie was frightened. She had always been frightened, ever since she had defiled her marriage vows and gone to another man’s bed, she was frightened that the Lord would rise up against her. She was frightened that her daughter’s fierce ambitions would split this family apart, and she was frightened that Ruby might somehow discover the truth of her own origins.
Deeper than any of that, Lizzie was frightened by her own emotions. Terrified of the affection she still felt for Jeffrey Banks, and guilty because she would never know which man she had loved the most. Ted had been her husband, and now she was sincerely grieving for him, but even as she grieved, the memory of what she did all those years ago tore her apart. Ted had not known how deceitful she had been, but in her heart Lizzie felt certain that he knew now. Up there, where souls could see into places where mere humans couldn’t, Ted knew everything, and she was mortified by the thought that he was looking down on her, her shame bared to his eyes, and she with no chance to explain. She should have explained all those years ago. Now it was too late. She felt the need to punish herself. To deny everything that might better her station in life. It was a kind of penance. There were times, when she was lying in her lonely bed at night and the childer were all asleep, when she felt as though she was the only person still left alive in the whole world; those were the worst times of all. In her terrible guilt, Lizzie would imagine that Ted was standing before her in that cold dark room, pointing a finger at her. ‘You cheated me, Lizzie,’ he would murmur. ‘And I can’t forgive you.
These were the things Lizzie was frightened of. And just now, with her innocent words, Ruby had unwittingly opened all the old wounds. In her pain, Lizzie was like a wounded animal. Springing from her chair, she screamed, ‘Don’t you tell me I’m frightened, Ruby Miller! I’m still the same woman I’ve allus been, and I’ve never been frightened of anything in my life,’ she lied. ‘It ain’t me that’s different. It’s you that’s changed. I don’t know you any more. As far back as I can remember, you’ve always wanted more than the good Lord gave yer. Well, now it seems to me that you’ve got what yer want, so you’d better get yerself off to yer precious house on Derwent Street, because we’re none of us coming with yer.’ When Ruby stared at her in amazement, she strode across the room and flung open the door. ‘Go on!’ she yelled. ‘Take yourself off. And I don’t care if I never see yer again!’
It was a moment before Ruby realised that her mam meant every word. She turned to Lenny, ‘Please, our Lenny, tell her I’m only doing it for her,’ she pleaded lamely.
During the heated exchange between these two, he had sat dumbfounded. In all his life he could never recall his mam attacking Ruby in such a way. They had always been so close, so supportive of each other. Secretly, he was glad that Ruby had been brought down a peg or two, because to his mind she had always entertained ideas above her station. Oh, there were times when he too had ambitions of getting away from Fisher Street, but when it came down to it he hadn’t the guts nor the drive, and now, like everyone else, had become trapped here. Not Ruby though. She had never lost sight of what she wanted. That irritated him Now here was his opportunity to get the better of her.
‘Mam says she wants you out,’ he declared boldly. Rising from his chair and going to where Lizzie stood, he placed a protective arm round her shoulders. ‘If that’s what she wants, then you’d best go. I’m sorry, Sis, but it seems you’ve outstayed your welcome.’
Ruby’s gaze fell on her mam’s face but there was no response. Lizzie remained unmoved, her hand on the door-knob and the door inching open a little further. ‘All right, Mam,’ Ruby conceded. If that’s what you really want?’
‘It is.’
She brushed past. When she was alongside that little figure, she was sorely tempted to throw her arms round its neck and promise anything, just as long as the two of them made friends again. But like Lizzie, Ruby felt that she was in the right. All she ever wanted was the best for her mam and the family. She could see nothing in that to be ashamed of. ‘If you want me, Mam, you know where I’ll be,’ she said softly.
Lizzie’s answer was to close the door against her. Afterwards she remained where she was, her ears tuned to Ruby’s departing footsteps, her old heart sore and aching. ‘What have I done, our Lenny? she murmured. ‘Dear God above, what have I done?’ Part of her wanted to run down the passage and fetch Ruby back. It was wrong to blame the lass for her own sins. Yet another, greater part of her saw how that same sin had made Ruby the woman she was; there was too much of her real father in her. Yet Jeffrey Banks was a good kindly man, and Ruby had inherited those traits as well. Suddenly it was all too painful. In a burst of sobs she fell against her son. ‘I didn’t want that to happen,’ she cried, clinging to him. ‘It ain’t her fault. God knows, it ain’t her fault.’
‘It’s all right, Mam,’ he said. ‘It’ll all come right, you’ll see.’
But he had a feeling that a lot of water would run under the bridge before that happened. There was something here that he didn’t understand. Something between his mam and Ruby that reached too far down for him to see. But then, he was only a man and didn’t pretend to know what went on in any woman’s mind.
Outside, Ruby hurried away. There was no consolation for her, no reason as to why this parting had happened, and she had seen a side to her mam that shook her to her roots. As she went along, the bitter tears ran down her face and she could hardly see where she was going.
When she climbed aboard the tram, everyone stared at her from the corners of their eyes. She wasn’t aware of their curiosity. She only knew that today she had lost her best friend in all the world. And she didn’t even know why.