The aromatic fragrance of lemon, lily, and lavender drifted under my nose, while small chunks of pineapple, grapes, and bananas were teasingly popped into my mouth. Blindfolded, I savored the flavors and textures with my tongue and saliva. Maracas and the soft rhythmic thump of a drum penetrated my ears, and fabrics, flower petals, and jets of water brushed my skin. His lips touched mine. Soon we were both carried into the currents of the sea of love.
I was born and raised in a West African tradition and culture, and my desire to eat has always had an emotional edge. I often felt too overwhelmed to pause and discern what truly caused the pulsations below my navel or the tingling at the base of my neck. Instead, I sought comfort and sensuality through food. As I placed each portion in my mouth, my tastebuds would vibrate. My body was starved, but mostly it was not for food, but a yearning for the pure pleasure and satisfaction of human touch. My body was calling for the magical erotic moment that induces and seduces the sexy dancer within.
Food and sex can both be healthy and nourishing when consumed in balanced quantities and with utmost awareness. However, in contemporary culture, we have sacrificed quality for convenience and in doing so have missed out on experiencing and understanding the erotic nature of food. We have yet to seize, explore, and master fully the link between sex and food: to challenge ourselves to move beyond the advertisements and billboards promising sensual pleasure by simple over-indulgence, and the inevitable condemnation of society if we take too much. We need to recognize that food is perhaps the main vehicle for how we feel about our bodies and souls, how we respond sexually to ourselves and each other, and how we choose to interact with the world around us. When our choice of food is animalistic in nature, then our sexual nature will naturally conform. Like a hungry, aggressive animal in pursuit of its prey, our sexual appetite mimics the nature of our food through visible and not so visible acts of violence and destruction. With these considerations in place, is it not safe to declare that food and sex share a common ground?
As many societies have noted, eating can be highly erotic, akin in many ways to lovemaking. Preparing and serving our food, decorating and enhancing it with spices and mingling the different flavors, are like the foreplay that prepares us for the profound pleasures of the merging of two bodies. Saliva enhances the potency of those pleasurable moments in both lovemaking and eating. When we eat from the same bowl or calabash (a tradition with roots in African culture) we cultivate intimacy, trust, and open the way to deeper physical, emotional, and spiritual pleasure with our partner.
My first experiment with the voluptuousness of sensuality was with my girlfriend. I first placed a blindfold over her eyes and put on soothing music. I filled a bowl with grapes and poured liqueur into a small cup. (I chose peach schnapps, but any will do.) I speared a grape on a toothpick, dipped it in the liqueur, and raised it to my partner's nostrils, encouraging her to guess what it was. Her body glowed, and a ripple of energy coursed through her as I then offered the grape's soft roundness to the curves of her lips, leaving trails of the liqueur's sweet burn upon them, then pressed the grape against her lips until they parted and enveloped it. Finally, I dipped my finger into the liqueur and stroked the contour of my girlfriend's lips very gently. We said nothing as she absorbed the grape into her body.
By simply slowing down and creating ritual around eating, such as above, we can begin to nourish our physical body, temper our emotions, sharpen our minds, purify our energy field, and cultivate peace. We will be able to listen better to the the messages our body brings us every day. We need to return to the healing powers of food and sex as our first sources of medicine.
Slowing down to eat is a fundamental aspect of Tantric living. We can be much healthier physically and sensually if we chew our food properly and eat consciously. I used to have “dates” with myself. I would turn my telephone ringer off and take my own sweet time cooking dinner and preparing the table for me, I, and myself! While I was training to become a yoga teacher, we students practiced the art of conscious eating, which required total focus on each bite, chew, and act of swallowing while eating in complete silence. This combination allows the body to digest the food and route the nutrients—a process often disrupted by external distractions and activities while eating. Having a date with myself in the kitchen and conscious eating were both powerful and pleasurably quiet, where stimulation came from the senses rather than words.
The Tantric tradition favors eating in moderation and choosing food that is seasonal. When we are present within ourselves, we can hear and feel the body more clearly. Conscious cooking and conscious eating bring out the erotic power in food that may differ from person to person. In those moments, the messages we receive from our foods can open us to their erotic and healthy energies, allowing us to understand the unique language of each item we place in our bodies, and whether it's healthy or destructive.
The Hatha Yoga tradition says that one should refrain from eating excessively acid, bitter, salty, or pungent foods. Rishi Gheranda advises that “half the stomach should be filled with food, one quarter with water or other liquid, and one quarter should be empty to aid the practice of breath control” (see Gitananda Yoga Newsletter Downunder, June 2008, Vol 3. No. 2). How do you measure? you're probably asking. Your body knows: listen and trust it.
The mental attitude of the person preparing the food pervades each item like the herbs and seasonings that penetrate the outer layers of our edibles. Likewise, how we eat has a strong influence on the entire digestive process. Consuming food while we're upset or sitting before the television or behind the wheel takes away from the sacramental quality of eating. We can enhance sacred moments by creating purpose in the preparation of food and at the table. I always fill my food with light and positive words to raise its vibrations—blessing its source and the many people that played a role in its journey from the earth to my mouth. Borrowing Dr. Masaru Emoto's concepts in his book The Hidden Messages of Water, I speak the language of love and gratitude to my food to change its energetic condition.
Rushing to make quick meals deprives us of the healing and aphrodisiacal properties of cooking. Those moments of food preparation can be a meditation, where we savor precious seconds. Feel the texture of the greens, explore the rough surface of root foods; pay attention to the way yellow peppers or red tomatoes radiate their colors and how they make you feel; add spices to awaken your sense of smell. All these acts will ensure you bring out the sensuality that abounds in food.
Having sex and preparing food are both alchemical processes that create soulful magic. Instead of beakers and flasks, the chef works with pots and pans; instead of wands, the chef uses giant spoons and forks to transform the elements of earth, air, fire and water, combining raw and/or non-raw foods in their concoctions. Set free to experiment and play, a chef can put together any two edible things and make something new and often tastier than each separate component. Like the alchemist, the cook transforms matter through the application of fire, blending, emulsifying, separating, coagulating, macerating, and aerating, while adding a pinch of heart and a deeper part of themselves.
Like all good spells, my meal preparation begins with the desire to travel. Do I have a yearning for something spicy, warm, light, or colorful? Or does my body need something cool and refreshing to balance the summer heat? Do I want to travel to Asia, Africa, the Mediterranean, Central America, or stay right here in the United States? And is my body in sync with the wild imagination of my mind?
The same applies to creative lovemaking: with my partner I can swim the depths of the oceans and climb the majestic mountains of the world. Conscious sex can reveal its alchemical dimensions when done intently and ritualistically. Parallel to the process of cooking, two lovers can utilize the elements of nature in their lovemaking to create anything their heart desires. When the orgasms of partners are in sync, a cosmic field is opened as the energies of both individuals merge. Though the results from the alchemy of sex may materialize only over time, two lovers can nonetheless generate love, compassion, and deep understanding; they can plant the most wonderful seed that will incubate and be brought forth as a child or manifest as a creative concept. The beauty of the alchemy of sex is that there is no before or after, only the eternal now.
One of my fun and easiest alchemies is a herb-y fruit salad that combines fresh lettuce and salad leaves of baby leaf spinach, red chard, green lettuce, and Greek cress, with strawberries, peaches, apples, and a dice of raw almonds, topped with a simple fresh lime and pineapple juice dressing. I begin with a prayer that honors the earth and all those who played a role in getting the produce into my kitchen. Then I fill the dish with light and love to raise the vibrations to awaken the flavors and purify each ingredient. Feeding each other is a great way to share and savor the magical taste of this sexy salad. Praying and eating together offer blessings and create pure intentions as the participation transmutes the ingredients or transforms the energy from something of one value into a substance of even greater value. Remember: pick both your foods and your sex/love partner wisely and intently.
Meals rich in fruits and vegetables provide beneficial nutrients that keep organs in peak condition and energy at maximum levels, both of which are essential for lovemaking. Most directly linking food and sex are aphrodisiacs, which have been used for thousands of years to seduce, spice up a sex life, improve potency, and remedy infertility and sterility. They can be classified in two main groups: 1) psycho-physiological—visual, tactile, olfactory, aural; and 2) internal—stemming from food, alcoholic drinks, drugs, love potions, and medical preparations. There follow a number of vegan, aphrodisiac foods.
A symbol of fertility throughout the ages. The aroma is said to inspire passion in a woman. It is a major source of essential fatty acids, providing the basis for the healthy production of male hormones essential to regulating sex drive. Try adding marzipan (almond paste) or sliced almonds to an erotic desert for a sexual appetizer and treat.
Rich in vitamin E, this vegetable has been known to stimulate the production of women's and men's sex hormones essential for a healthy sex life. It is said that people who eat a lot of asparagus also have many lovers.
The Aztecs called the avocado tree Ahuacuati, which means “testicle tree,” because they thought the fruit hanging in pairs looked like the male's testicles. This fruit has a sensuous texture. Simply serve in slices, adding a small amount of olive oil, sea salt, and freshly ground pepper.
Bananas are rich in potassium and B vitamins, necessary for sex-hormone production. The banana flower with its amazing phallic shape adds to the popularity of the banana as an aphrodisiac food. Many women are friends with this fruit as their masturbation tool.
Basil is said to stimulate the sex drive and boost fertility, and to produce a general sense of well-being for body and mind. Most curiously of all, its scent is supposed to drive us wild! In fact, basil oil was once employed by Mediterranean prostitutes as a perfume to attract customers! Take me to Asia, and it's no wonder why I go crazy for Thai food. The popular spice basil (Ocimum basilicum) also possesses aphrodisiac powers and contains essential oils, tannins, and vitamins.
Cardamom cools the body when it is hot and warms it when it is cold. Ancient queens such as Cleopatra used to take baths in it.
Capsaicin is the chemical ingredient responsible for the hot effect of the chili pepper. It stimulates nerve endings, raises your pulse, and makes you sweat. It is believed that eating hot foods such as chili peppers can evoke the release of endorphins, which create a natural high conducive to the feelings you have during lovemaking. It contains a lot of vitamin C and also has irritating effects on membranes and the urogenital area, so avoid overdosage.
Cayenne peppers also contain capsaicin. When cayenne is ingested, it dilates blood vessels, which allows increased blood flow throughout the body, especially in the major organs. The male penis benefits greatly from the ingestion of cayenne. It is a widely held belief that cayenne aids in longer lasting erections, with stronger ejaculations and more intense orgasms.
Celery is considered an excellent food to ramp up sexual stimulation since it boosts a powerful substance known as androsterone—an odorless hormone released through male perspiration. If you are partnered with a man, I bet you forgot that your man's sweat has driven you wild many times: perhaps the same effect that a dozen red roses and a bottle of Champagne apparently have!
This fruit has an intriguing reputation in Southeast Asia as having aphrodisiac properties. It is not clear whether this is attributed to some substance in the fruit pulp.
It may be bad on the breath but it's surely good on the sex drive. It is better if both parties love and enjoy the benefits of garlic. This way there is no clash of the breath. Garlic contains high levels of allicin—a compound that can improve blood flow to the sexual organs. Note: Don't just munch on big cloves of raw garlic. Allicin is only produced through the enzyme reaction, once garlic has been chopped.
Oats are known to increase your libido by the time you go to bed. The key is to eat oats each day for breakfast. Oats have been proven to stimulate the human libido in both males and females. The common group of oats is from the grass family. The oat family includes rice, whole wheat, rye, and barley, to name a few. Oats are not only known to lower cholesterol, but also to aid stamina and longevity in the human libido. Last longer with oats in your diet.
Diuretic invigoration! Pineapple has a great digestive and purifying effect and is high in bromelain. Use fresh fruit juice. For aphrodisiac effects to work, eat pineapple with chili powder or mixed with agave nectar and rum. A small glass taken daily will suffice.
The pomegranate with its many seeds has been a symbol of fertility (and a well-known aphrodisiac) for thousands of years in many ancient cultures. For example, in China, the pomegranate stands for wealth and a large, healthy family. The pomegranate was discovered around 1000 BCE, making it one of the oldest fruits on the planet. From China it found its way to Italy and then to Spain and England. The Spanish planted the first pomegranate tree in the U.S. Not only was the fruit of the pomegranate used, but the ancient Romans also employed the husk as a kind of leather.
Found in South America and Africa, the sea bean is a psychedelic edible, and the beans have aphrodisiac qualities. They are ingested or smoked instead of marijuana. In ancient America, these beans were used in magic and rituals and have been found in prehistoric graves. The active substance is L-betonicine.
Squash has a diuretic, invigorating effect, and the seeds are an aphrodisiac for women. In Ayurvedic and Tantric systems, squash seeds are eaten during love rituals. The seeds contain fatty oil, protein, and vitamin E that is important for healthy sexuality.
Another invigorator! Excessive consumption stimulates the woman's sex drive.
Thorn apple is considered a strong psychedelic, very erotic, a plant of prophesy and witches. Leaves or flowers are brewed into tea, the seeds are eaten, the herbage smoked. All species and all parts contain highly active tropane alkaloids.
Found in Europe and North America, wild lettuce has a narcotic effect and the dried sap is smoked for ritual purposes and as a sexual stimulant. Wild lettuce contains an alkaloid lactusin, which has qualities that are similar to morphine.
Diets low in fat cause low libido because fats are building blocks for hormones. Hydrogenated oils and fats interfere with pleasure and a good life. Good fats are essential to pleasure. In addition, sugar overload causes blood sugar fluctuations that decrease energy and overall well-being and sexual health. Sugar may also compromise the neurological and circulatory actions that are vital for healthy performance. The good news is that there are many delicious and healthy sugar alternatives. Do watch out for crash diets, as they will certainly collapse your sex drive. A sudden drop in daily caloric or nutrient intake will confuse the body and cause a decline in sex hormones, along with a lagging libido.
Stay away from fried foods and rich cream sauces. They can leave us feeling more sluggish than sexy. Too much sugar, salt, saturated fat, and highly processed food is linked to frigidity, difficulty reaching orgasm, and lack of interest in sex. Scaling back on these foods will help revive and preserve sexual vitality and enhance total well-being.
Put a cap on the overindulgence of alcohol and coffee, and skip tobacco completely. These “pleasure drugs” take away from the depths, experience, and authenticity of feelings and the lovemaking act. Some indulgences are beneficial. The rich, delicious decadence known as chocolate contains phenylalanine, an amino acid that raises the body's endorphins—our natural antidepressants. Enjoyed in moderation, a few pieces can lift libido, providing a tantalizing prelude to sex. A sexy diet is one that is filled with vibrant foods to increase libido.
Indulge in a blend that is out of this world: eating and making love. Use food creatively while making love! The key is to slow down and allow oneself to savor the feelings and sensations that each moment brings.
Sensuality and peace begin on the plate!