The New Moon

In astronomy, the new moon is the first phase of the lunar cycle. Technically, when the moon is new, it is exactly between the sun and the earth. The new moon marks the moment when the moon and the sun have approximately the same elliptical longitude. It is invisible to us, for it is completely in front of the sun. This period lasts for about three days, until the waxing crescent moon, when we can first glimpse her light. Astronomers, astrologers, and some witches acknowledge the new moon during the three days of “invisibility.” This is the moon as blank slate, moon as void, moon as nothing. Nothingness is sacred because everything comes out of nothing. Nothingness is sacred because it is where we all return. Darkness is a gift; it is where germination takes place. A place where we can rest, renew, and move toward birthing or rebirth.

Many cultures, however, did not consider the moon as “new” until a sliver of light was seen in the sky. Ancient Jewish tradition had moon watchers who would usher in the beginning of the month by burning bonfires when the first glimmer of light was spotted in the sky. (The beginning of the “moonth” is still a minor Jewish holiday, called Rosh Chodesh.) Similar new moon timing mechanisms and observances were, and still are, utilized in Islamic tradition. Some witches observe the new moon as their dark moon: a time of rest and reconciliation. This means, at an exact new moon, we are still in a liminal, unknown space. The waxing crescent is the time when some folks cast new moon spells.

The way to decide when your new moon begins is to use your intuition. If you observe your internal lunar cycles and phases for a couple of months, and if you’ve noticed that on the “official” new moon you feel drained or like you’ve still got some clearing to do, then it makes sense for you to interpret that time as part of the dark moon. Either do magic related to the waning moon/dark moon at this time, such as uncrossing or clearing spells, or simply rest. When the new moon rises a day or two later, you can begin your personal and particular new moon observance. In my personal practice, I conduct new moon magic at this point. I’m excited when I can catch a glimpse of the moon’s reflected glow, as it strikes a particular hope-tinged chord in my heart. As always, observe your intuition, and plan your rituals around your energy and your own personal practice. Experiment with beginning right when the moon is new or a few days after, to see what works best for you.

The new moon rises at sunrise and sets at sunset. The tides are higher at new moons. The increased gravity could intensify or enhance energy and emotions. From a magical perspective, the new moon, the full moon, and the dark moon are the more intensely felt or experienced phases in the cycle. They are the exclamation marks of a lunar cycle.

This time is an opportunity to reconcile situations from last month and forgive yourself and others. Foster intentions of hope, faith, and optimism in new processes and practices—or breathe new life into old processes and practices. Shake things up. Whistle a different tune. Plant your flag of courage in the sand and move onward. This is the beginning of the beginning. It is the first page of the heroine’s journey; the first step, the door opening, the waking up. This is the energy that accompanies inklings and innuendos: what is unseen yet deeply felt and known.

The new moon can be the beginning of an enhanced consciousness and awareness, mindfulness, and focused attention. This is the moment when we decide to live life with more mindfulness, to step out of our comfort zone of habits, and to venture into the uncharted territory of Thinking Different Thoughts. It is where we build the prototypes for our reinvention.

IF THE NEW MOON IS HARD FOR YOU

Beginnings are hard. Transitions are challenging. New moons can be uncomfortable for those of us born under a full moon or waning moon. New moons can also be more challenging in the fall or wintertime—these seasons resonate more with the waning moon, with wrapping up and shedding. Adjust accordingly. Maybe your “new” beginning at a November or December new moon would be starting a project quietly, working behind the scenes, getting ready to take further flight at a later moment. The new moon comes with a lot of unknowns, a lot of spaciousness, and a lot of emptiness.

If the new moon is tough for you, gently explore that discomfort. The ability to move forward and onward is a helpful skill to have in one’s toolkit. Being able to try new things, to experiment with taking risks, can be difficult for those of us with trauma. However, alongside trying new things comes play, comes pleasure, comes flow. These are ingredients for creating a healing practice for our trauma. Trusting our intuition to give us messages about what we need resourcing around aids us in recovery and reconnection with our core self.

The new moon is a harbinger of visionary ideas. This is the energy we must utilize if we are to liberate ourselves and others. This is the energy of the science fiction novel, the unlikely life-changing invention, the genius theory. New moon energy exists in every voyage to uncharted territories. The lands of make-believe, the realms of improvisation are found in this space. This energy lives in young children, filled with vitality and innocent curiosity. It is present in the willingness to try and try again. Being able to connect with hope is a requirement in these apocalyptic times. Belief is nonnegotiable, especially at the end of the world. Cultivating new beginnings and technologies is imperative.

WHEN YOU ARE IN A NEW MOON PHASE

When you are in a new moon phase, you feel a little messy. You feel like taking risks. You may be asking yourself why not? and proclaiming heck yes! And why shouldn’t you? Life is for trying, for mixing it up, for exploring tastes and sensations and the entire spectrum of ways we can exist. You might feel invigorated by inspiration, or whatever else has convinced you to give it another go.

On the other hand, you may be teetering on the verge of overwhelm, surrounded by the hazy unknown. If situations and scenarios in the new moon provoke anxiety, this is the opportune time to rewire how you react. You won’t find a solution for what troubles you by running through the same old loops that keep you frayed and ragged. Unless we do things differently, unless we enact new behaviors, we’ll be trapped in an unconscious spiral, carrying on programming that most likely isn’t even ours.

The new moon is a zero, usually invisible—it is a whisper of a whisper. The only way to hear its messages is to stay still. Past the noise of distractions, chatter, resistance. Tapped into the present moment, when we are neutral, when we’ve let down our defenses, when our assumptions have dissipated, we are in the generative void. This is an empty space of restoration. This is the space of enlightenment and answers. It is the space from where we can leap into faith. An empty vessel into which our most secret dreams flow.

The new moon is a place of pause. Maybe this time, you don’t respond to the fuming, hateful email. Maybe this time, when your reaction is to be snappish or sharp, you soften, or hold your tongue. Good choices open different doors. These better choices, repeated, add up. Over time they turn into leveled-up outcomes. There is no better time than the new moon present to practice the pause.

A new moon is the opportune time to ask “What if?” It is most certainly not the time for imagination rejections. Do not deprive yourself in that manner. Let every winged dream in. Let every conceivable wish be a possibility. This can be the time to lay your foundation down in radically sustainable, radically rooted ways. This can be the moment you decide to announce: Yes, I am ready to believe.

THE NEW MOON IS A TIME TO SET INTENTIONS

This is a time to decide what your intentions will be for the next lunar cycle, season, or longer. Without a clear intention it is not possible to know what you want or where you are going. Your intention serves as both a beginning and your guide through a magical process.

Your intentions are the seeds you plant in your consciousness and subconscious. You nourish the seeds with your actions and your energy. As you believe in the possibilities of your intentions and adjust your vibrational patterns accordingly, transformation begins. As you apply effort to making your intentions show up, they will expand. So will your world.

When we set an intention, we affirm that what we would like is already done. It is already on its way to us. It will present itself to us in perfect time.

Without clear intentions, we are unlikely to achieve results. There is no metric or measuring stick. Intentions must include a way to chart our progress.

Before you set your intentions, start by free writing. Write for longer than you think you need to. Name all that you want to happen. Begin with where you would like to be and what you would like to feel. Experience what all your intended outcomes would feel like in your body. Bring up emotions, any scenarios, or vivid scenes that will occur as a result of following through on your intention.

After you’ve gotten it all out, take a short break. Stretch, drink water. Reread what you’ve written. What are the main patterns or words that keep repeating? These can serve as ingredients for affirmations and themes to meditate on. Out of your first free write, craft your intentions. Write them out simply and clearly. Frame them positively rather than negatively.

Once you’ve clarified your intention, answer the following questions:

How will I measure success? How will I know my intention has been achieved?
What will I do in service of this intention? What actions must I take?
What mindset do I need to cultivate? What behaviors and practices embody the mindset in action?
What daily practices must I adopt that I can rely upon when the going gets tough? What does my support system consist of?
What is the pure impulse present underneath this intention? (For example, if your intention is “write a book,” the pure impulse might be “creative expression and experimentation.”)
How could your pure impulse be brought into your life in other ways?
What might you need to change or leave behind? How will you move through the discomfort or pain of doing so?
What elements (fire/water/earth/air/spirit), or spirit/deities/sources, or other tools, will you utilize to support yourself in practical and magical ways?

After this reflection, you may wish to rewrite your intention one final time. Include more detail, make it more of an action plan, add any other information that gives you confidence.

Congratulations! You have now created an intention humanifesto. This is what you will use to create your spell. It is also a contract you are making between yourself and spirit. It outlines the qualities with which you most deeply wish to connect. These are the qualities you can begin working on conjuring at any time within yourself. Whatever you want you must give to yourself first.

Our intention must be for us and us alone. It cannot be motivated by what society tells us, or what everyone on the Internet appears to be doing. Our intentions generally arise in our intuition. Intention and intuition support each other.

You must stick to your intention. Sticking to an intention is the spot where so many of us stumble. We say we want something. We really, really want it. In a spell, we focus on receiving it. But our intention doesn’t come to be. We get mad. We get sad. We blame ourselves. We blame magic. Trust gets eroded. We stop practicing. Why does this happen?

There is not complete belief in our intention.

Maybe we need to work on cultivating trust and confidence. It is one thing to say we would like something, but when we go deeper, we see there are no roots of belief to support the dream.

Our desires are too far outside our sphere of influence.

Everyone has a sphere of influence that consists of where they are (geographically and spiritually), what they know, who they are, who they know, and what they are doing. If you are casting spells for outcomes that are far outside the realm of your sphere of influence, it makes sense to focus instead on what lies within it. As a rule, cast spells just outside your comfort zone. If it fills you with tingly excitement and a teensy bit of anxiety, but you know it could happen, then you are in the correct intentional corner.

There is no commitment to doing the work.

We want the thing without wanting to do the work to get the thing. We don’t want to have to get up early, end certain relationships, or take other actions that support our intention. We believe our life is happening to us, not for us. Nothing will change if there is not a commitment to doing the work. Cultivating discipline will be covered more in the waxing period chapter.

We aren’t acknowledging the results.

Sometimes, we are so focused on an exact outcome or a totally huge, final result that we aren’t taking time to see what is actually transpiring. Maybe it is a lack of something, so we don’t notice it—for example, maybe we cast a spell for protection, and ever since, no exes, catcallers, or online trolls have jumped in our inbox. Try to be as mindful as possible in the weeks following a spell. Sometimes the results are not what we had hoped for, but they are results. You cast a spell for a different job, and you lose a job. For sure you will be now getting a different job! Spells take time and humans can be impatient. Ask yourself how to use what is currently happening to your benefit.

Make Your Intentions Magical

When we make our intentions magical, we are asking to truly be transformed by the process. Our cells are ready to be shifted and imbued with refreshing energy. We wish to step into a deeper understanding of ourselves and our souls’ work. There is an engagement with the process. Because we are connected to our intention magically—with magical practice, with a greater tether to source energy, with an openness to flow, a heightened wonder, with the awareness of synchronicity and empowered alignment—the work ripples out much further than we can quantify. This further facilitates transformation and healing beyond the container of the intention.

This is what occurs when there is connection to the why of the intention: the sensations and yearnings that accompany and lie underneath the intention.

A beautiful way to consciously and continuously direct your energy intentionally is to cultivate tiny anchors through your day. This is like “mindfulness” with a magical boost. This shifts your energy and keeps you aligned with your intention. It encourages a call and response with your intention. This practice poises you as an energetic ouroboros—the snake eating its own tail, plugging back into the core of your intention. Tiny anchors can be practices, rituals, or habits you create for yourself to do every day, to call all aspects of your consciousness to focus on and conjure your intention.

What are three tiny anchors you could tie to your intention? Choose areas where you need the most support. What is your tiny anchor love language? Pick some you feel excited about that will boost your intention and keep reminding you of it throughout your day.

THE NEW MOON IS THE TIME TO PLANT SEEDS

At the new moon, we clarify and commit to what we are ready to grow. What we focus on grows. Our intentions are the seeds. Our desires are the seeds. Our emotional yearnings are the seeds.

To plant a seed is to acknowledge what that seed will become. Imbued in the seed is totality. It is both the glimmer of the desire and the tangible form it will ultimately take. It is the signifier and the signified of our magical praxis.

The final form the seed will become has certain qualities: conceptually, energetically, and emotionally. At the new moon stage, at the preliminary phase of spell casting, it is imperative to embody these qualities in a visceral way. Think about what activities invoke those feelings, and find ways to do those regularly. Find people who are reminders of these qualities, and spend time with them. Figure out what qualities will support the growth of the seed, such as patience, pleasure, vulnerability, or experimentation, and embed them in our surroundings as much as possible. Act in totality.

There are other techniques to try at the new moon. Stop associating only the end goal with the particular feeling. (When I get the thing, then I will be fixed/deserving/safe.) Stop being conditional with love, praise, power, permission. (With yourself, and with others.) Drop the either/or, bad/good set-up. (It never ends well.) Try this in ritual, in meditation, in trance during the spell. After the spell has been cast, bring yourself back to this feeling in waking life. Watch your language and correct your communication accordingly.

A seed is alive, but in a dormant state. It needs to be planted, and watered, and placed in the dark in order to grow. Most seeds are made up of a seed coat, the embryo, and nutrients. The embryo is alive, and contains all the building blocks of the mature plant. This is our intention.

Be clear about the quality of energy, emotion, or somatic sensation that accompanies your intention. Does your intention require you to soften, to unclench your jaw, to get looser, and less judgmental? Watch yourself in your daily life; see how much of those qualities you can bring into your world. Does your intention need you to get a bit bolder, a bit more extroverted, a bit more communicative? Determine what qualities to embody. Think about what activities you are already doing that might get you in the frame of mind, or somatic sensation needed, and put that into your intention-setting toolkit.

The seed coat protects the embryo from harm. Your intention is to be protected. Hidden from the dream deflators of doubt, cruelty, and judgment. Keep your intentions safe. Do not share them. Allow them space to breathe, allow them time to get rooted. Keep them a secret between you and the moon.

In nature, each particular kind of seed has its own time line for how long it can remain viable—able to sprout, able to grow. In nature, each kind of seed has its own unique conditions for germination. Check in and get honest about time lines.

Leave room to broaden or alter your intention. Once you set out, the steps you take down one path may have to wind into another. Magic requires a bit of flexibility.

Be aware. Pay attention to what you see, what you read, who you meet, and any inspirations or impulses you have that are different, interesting, or that simply provide confirmation that something is shifting, and your intentions are supported. It is useful to write these down in a place you can revisit, such as your lunar journal.

Let the energy of the new moon charge all the seeds of your intention. Let it seep into your present and future selves. You are allowed to germinate in the cool, quiet black. You can burst gently open, little blooms of radiance, spilling forth with laughter, open arms carrying sparkling bouquets of blessings. You can tend to growth for the sake of growth, armed with flexible resilience, holding the torch of resolve. Let the awareness of possibility, the acceptance of all that is coming your way cascade through your crown, out through your lips, down your shoulders, throughout your body, and keep you safe through your seeding.

THE NEW MOON IS THE TIME TO CULTIVATE THE SOIL

If you are ready to go, then the New Moon is totally the time to go for it. Follow your impulses and get to it. The majority of us need a bit more time to prepare for the life changes on the way, for the better habits we need to start. That’s okay.

In addition to picking out the perfect seeds of vibration to plant, we must consider the soil in which we are planting our seeds. Create the conditions for optimal seed growth. Where will your dreams be taking root? Consider all aspects of the soil that is the groundwork of your intentions. Sometimes, it is the best use of a new moon to cultivate supportive soil. Seeds need the right environment to germinate. Dropping your seeds randomly in dirt, in any thoughtless way, in chaos and distraction and neglect will not allow them to grow into the lovely bouquets they were meant to be.

Your soil comprises where you are now and what you currently possess. Your internal and external resources. Your mindset and belief systems. The emotional state you must possess. Your habits, your actions. The hours you have in a day and how you utilize them. Consider all of these carefully. Identify what nutrients you lack, and work on infusing them into your baseline. Cultivate your resources, impulses, behaviors, and focus.

There are times to slow down in order to speed up. Going slower in the beginning and planning stages will save time in the end. However, over-planning is sometimes a procrastination device. Do not stay in the pre-pre-beginning zone forever. You will never be perfect. What a relief! Conditions around you will never be perfect. There is no perfect. There is only trying one’s best, good, getting better, and over time becoming a master or expert. If perfectionism is the fear holding you back, you can examine that during shadow work in the waning moon. For now, take a little risk. Take one step forward, and one step after that.

Cultivating the soil properly means setting yourself up for success. There are endless items out of your control. Get serious and real about what you can control. The breath. Your focus. How you care for yourself. Spend time thinking of the best actions that serve as an extension of your intentions. Nurture those. Set yourself up for success because you are most definitely going to encounter resistance, obstacles, and other unforeseen challenges. Such drama is a definitive part of the heroine’s journey.

While setting oneself up for success sounds basic and simple, it can be hard for many of us. There can be a cognitive dissonance between what we want, where we are, and what we need to support us. When we don’t really take stock of where we are, when we don’t really figure out how to set ourselves up for success, our intentions wither. It gets harder to try again. Our intentions fall into the intention-recycling bin, never to be considered again.

I am going to use my beloved dog Gigi as an example. Gigi the pit bull is approximately three years old and a rescue. She has three legs: a tri-pawed. She’s gentle and funny and charming and outgoing. As a result of trauma she suffered before we adopted her, Gigi has pretty severe separation anxiety. Regardless of our efforts, when we leave the house, whether for an hour or for six, Gigi gets into the trash, the recycling, whatever is left out: she destroys shoes and other items, and just generally lets us know quite clearly that she is not happy to be alone.

We’ve realized that we need to “Gigi proof” the house when we leave. Lock things up, leave treats around for her, and generally make sure she is unable to cause harm. When we do this, nothing gets destroyed. While we aren’t jazzed about this behavior, we are not angry at Gigi. Why should we be? She’s innocent. A series of unfortunate events impacted her behavior.

This is, of course, the way you must treat yourself. Your inner Gigi is innocent—the lonely sweetheart who wants to destroy something when things are hard or set you off course is a result of conditioning. We’ve all been through a lot, and self-punishment is not necessary. Love is necessary. Being hard on yourself or judging yourself isn’t going to help move you forward. Compassionate nurturing of your needs will.

If you haven’t already, at the new moon time, get really practical about simple yet integral ways you need to set yourself up for success. If your intention is to write more, where is that scheduled regularly in your calendar? And how will you stick to it, no matter what? Do you need to join a writing group? Will you make writing time more alluring, surrounding yourself with endless mugs of green tea and snacks? Be very clear about what exactly needs to happen to bring the seeds of your intention through the soil.

The Space Is to Be Clean and Clear

The space in which you plant your seeds must be cleared of any distractions. Imagine yourself tilling the soil, tending the seed—what would hinder growth? Write it down. You can work with any obstacles you identify during the waning moon or during your moon-mapping process. What tools would help you grow? Write those down.

It is okay if you only have three hours a week to till the soil of your dreams. Make that time the most focused, most aligned three hours possible. Bring in other sensations associated with your intentions—emotional and somatic—to other moments of your week. Connect all your activities through your intention. Make the way in which you do one thing the way in which you do all things. The feelings and mindset you are cultivating will infuse more areas of your life.

Cleaning and clearing is important energetically, practically, and magically. Cleaning our home is important, we all know this. Energetic hygiene is just as important. The new moon is a great time to make sure that our energy is neutral, and there is no unwanted energy cluttering up our energetic field.

On the day before the new moon, or on the actual new moon, do a cleaning ritual. Get rid of any items that no longer serve you. Clear the energy of your space. Put on your favorite record, move objects around in your space, organize at least a couple of shelves and drawers that need tidying. Generally, once we’ve cleaned, decluttered, and cleared, an energetic shift is felt. Whenever you need to re-center, cleanse, and clear: sweep, scrub, weed, mop, move.

Then, on the day after the new moon, you can do your intention setting and new moon ritual or spell work. In a cleared-out space, in a cleansed state of mind. Keep your energy clear by calling your energy back to yourself. Keep your energy clear by practicing mindfulness. Keep your energy clear by practicing energetic boundary work and protection. Keep your energy clear by reminding yourself of what your goals are. Again and again, come back to who you truly are.

THE NEW MOON IS A TIME TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION

Our imagination is one of our greatest gifts. It gives us innovation. Our imagination creates new legislation, envisions different forms of liberation, and creates restorative conversations. Imagination fosters improvisation, experimentation, and collaboration.

Imagination has brought us so many things: blue jeans, socialized health care, closed captioning, perms, biodynamic gardening, the printing press, home karaoke kits, seed bombs, airplanes, philosophies, and knitting blogs. Imagination has helped us escape death, delivered life, conjured haikus, and turned fool’s gold into million-dollar empires. How would you like to use your vast imagination to create your own reality? How would you like to use your unique vision to remake the world? What do you have to offer that is completely original to you? We need your brilliant brain’s art, your words, your gender-neutral fashion line, your solutions to the climate crisis, your ideas on organizing, your poetry, your databanks of resources—now more than ever. We need your belief in yourself. It reminds us to believe in ourselves too.

Connecting to our imagination connects us to our inner child. Think back to when you were young. What could you spend hours doing? Can you do that now, once a week or more? Allow your imagination to run free and express itself. One way to mend childhood hurt is to soothe our inner child with activities our younger self loved. This is a way of re-parenting. The new moon is a perfect time to begin a re-parenting process.

In her book Emergent Strategy and her podcast How to Survive the End of the World, adrienne maree brown talks about the concept of “imagination battles”: an endless stream of ideologies and philosophies all vying for legitimacy.¹ Unfortunately, many of us are living in a reality created by oppressors’ and abusers’ imaginations. This is why we must prioritize our own, and the precious imaginations of others who are focused on building a better world. Collectively, it is time to prioritize certain imaginations: the imaginations of Black, Brown, Indigenous thinkers and leaders. It is time to cultivate more inclusive and compassionate imaginations. The imaginations of queer folks, feminists, trans folks, femmes, and women. All witches know that part of the great work is resisting psychic death. Resist the infections of harmful folks’ imaginations in your mindset, spiritual life, and space.

The new moon is a good time to check in with exactly whose imagination you are living in. Is it your own, or someone else’s? Is it your ancestor’s or someone else’s? What feeds your imagination? What thinkers, writers, lecturers, artists, musicians, poets, movies, and television shows are coming into your one precious imagination? At the new moon, if needed, reduce your sensory intake. Spend a day or two listening to nothing, reading nothing, watching nothing except what you absolutely must. Give yourself blank time. Ursula K. Le Guin used to schedule time to stare at the wall each writing day. Think about what you are craving to read about, craving to learn about, craving to listen to. Curate carefully. Name what you wish to be thinking about and engaged with. Choose nourishing and interesting imaginative fodder.

Visualization

Visualization is that age-old magical technique that every witch should be fluent in. There are thousands of books on this subject to read. A favorite is Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain. I’m not going to get too deep into the how-to, as there are so many resources available.

Practicing visualization reawakens our generative subconscious. For those of us who suffer from PTSD and trauma, being able to practice visualization can help calm our nervous system down. If you are activated, and it is safe for you to do so, call to mind a place that symbolizes safety and calm while breathing deeply.

Visualization helps convince us that our intention can be attained. When practicing protection magic, we visualize symbols around us protecting us, such as shields, talismans, guardians, and rosebushes. Some witches imagine a bubble of protection, a diamond of protection, or even a protection suit they zip themselves into. This signals to our various levels of consciousness, energy field, and nervous system to act in accordance.

Practicing visualization aids us with our dreams and goals. There’s a saying, in reference to representation in the media: “If we can see it, we can be it.” In the very empirical “I’ll believe it when I see it” overculture, it can be hard to summon belief from future dreams. Visualization can help with this. Witches are usually visionaries, creatives, and independent creatures, but even we can use extra support when we are undertaking something we’ve never tried before. Visualization is a very effective way to hypnotize the subconscious into believing dreams are reality.

If visualization is hard for you, or if you have aphantasia, there are other visualization-adjacent things you can try. Record yourself speaking about your dreams like they have already happened and listen to the playback while you rest. Spend time writing down your dreams in the present tense. Pretend you are writing a letter to a friend, describing the marvelous opportunity that just happened to you. Speak what you want to happen out loud, when you are alone.

At the new moon, going all the way up to the full moon, spend at least a few minutes visualizing yourself in the process of achieving your goal. Connect your imagination to your desires. Allow them to travel within your mind’s eye. Let them unfurl into sensations that travel all over your body and into your heart. Deliver a fantasy to yourself that in time will become a reality.

THE NEW MOON IS A GREAT TIME TO CHANGE YOUR MIND

This is the time to examine your thoughts. At the new moon, track your thought patterns. Create more generative ones. For those of us reading this who deal with mental illness or are neuro-divergent, this might not be easy. People with OCD, who are depressed, have anxiety, or are unable to manage other cognitive issues cannot always “control their thoughts” easily. “Thoughts create your reality,” a common New Age refrain, is not always true. Sometimes the reality of our chemistry and DNA directs our thoughts. And humans have a range of healthy, normal thoughts that are not always positive, anyway—from anger to rage, sorrow to grief, etc. A lot of so-called New Age truths have their roots in harmful dogmatic, capitalist, and white supremacist rhetoric that polices thoughts, emotions, and bodies.

Life is hard. It is frequently tragic right now, beauties. Of course your sensitive self is affected by all the chaos collectively and/or personally swirling around us. The world is totally fucked up right now—it has been, for thousands of years. If you are paying attention, you are sick, sad, disgusted. That said, therapeutic and psychiatric help can be a game changer. Don’t deny yourself a better life by avoiding therapy, support groups, or counseling.

This is gentle encouragement to try to make your brain—your mind’s home, the seat of your consciousness and subconscious—as kind, as soft, and as sweet, to and for yourself, as it can be. A non-allergenic featherbed, not a furnace. If your mind is a resourced place, you can help more people. If your mind is infused with positive momentum, your magic is much more potent. Your sphere of influence grows. Your positivity and your love grow too. Your strength and influence grow, and your patriarchy-smashing powers grow too!

If consciously changing your mind feels daunting, then focus on changing how you relate to your thoughts. When certain cruel thoughts take hold of your consciousness, must you believe them? What are the origins of these thoughts? What do you gain by attaching to thoughts of unworthiness or self-flagellation? What would happen if you choose kinder and gentler thoughts?

Consider your thoughts as a passing moment. Let them wash over you but not knock you down. Detach yourself from them with practice. Start by naming what you are feeling, such as “I am feeling confused” instead of “I am confused”; that switches from you identifying as an emotion, to identifying an emotion you are currently experiencing but will change. As soon as you catch yourself thinking something unhelpful, immediately change it to a helpful narrative. (“I can’t do this” becomes “I need a break right now, I am actually doing really well in challenging circumstances.”)

Decide to pick what record is playing in your mind. Use your breath to take you through to a calmer oasis. Taking slow, deep, and long breaths for several minutes will help. Focusing on a color, an image, or a soothing word helps as well. Meditating consistently absolutely helps.

Most likely, you would never talk to a friend or a stranger the way you speak to yourself at times. Treat yourself as you would a dear and treasured friend. Maybe you made a mistake; you are human. If you caused harm, then do your best to mend the harm and truly learn from it, and don’t repeat the same mistake. Making mistakes, a lot of the time, simply means you are in process and actually trying, actually putting yourself out there.

Change your mindset, change your behaviors. Connect mindset with self-treatment and values with action. Is kindness one of your core values? Where is that showing up in how you talk to yourself? How are you expressing your core values with your thoughts, actions, and the energy you put out into the world?

Understanding Your Mindset

A mindset is a combination of our experiences, beliefs, values, attitudes, and thoughts. Mindsets are sometimes formed when we are very young—a reflection of what our family or caretakers believed and told us. They are further shaped when we go out into the world, and encounter successes and adversities. They are informed by culture and the collective; affected or created by trauma. Sometimes we subconsciously seek out experiences that will reinforce our existing mindset. Mindsets can dictate our behavior and affect life outcomes. Mindsets are malleable and can shift and evolve. Thank goddess! Figuring out what your mindset(s) around your dream needs to be, and how to transform it to support your goal is a potent form of new moon witchery.

At the new moon phase, do not look for confirmation of why your new beliefs or mindsets will not work. Do not obsess over how you need to get to your goals, or what steps you’ll need to take. You don’t need to have the thing yet. You need only to believe in your ability to attract and receive the thing. Give your dream some luxurious space.

Below are a few easy and effective ways to start changing your mindset or the way you relate to certain thoughts:

Gratitude lists and journaling. The reason gratitude practices are everywhere is because they work. Gratitude only proliferates. Gratitude literally transforms our somatic self. It rewires our brains. Many scientific studies have linked a gratitude-journaling practice with positive, long-term changes in the brain.

Consistently naming all of the things we are grateful for creates a baseline of abundance mindset, delivers us feelings of appreciation, and connects us to psychic possibilities of more goodness. Creativity begets more creativity. When we focus on all the love we have, we are affirming we can have more love. When we sing in the key of mauve and fuchsia sweetness, it attracts the butterflies that croon in that key too.

When we focus only on what we don’t have, it drains our energy. The black hole of comparison and lack grows ever wider in our psyche. The dream seeds just planted cringe and wither.

Try listing all that you are appreciative of for at least one week, two to three times a day at the new moon. If you feel called to, include your dreams in your gratitude list. You may also want to leave an offering to certain items on your gratitude list. If you are grateful to the sparrows chirping outside your window, leave them birdseed. If you are grateful to a specific friend, cook them dinner. If a particular album got you through the day, tell your friends about it, or go to that artist’s next concert. If you are grateful to the clouds, donate money to a clean air nonprofit.

Curiosity. Asking questions opens up exploration and possibility. When you catch yourself shutting down into resistance, pause. Question yourself. Keep going until you unearth a limiting belief. Ask it what it needs to be transformed. Reframe it and reword it into something supportive.

Asking questions opens the situation up for exploration and possibility. It also affords one space from the attachment of the judging or fixing mind. This in turn taps into our creativity. Paradoxically, when we resist or try to defend ourselves from negative thoughts, that resistance and defensiveness creates a tsunami of energy on which the thoughts can feed. We toggle between feeling the negative thoughts, and resisting the negative thoughts, which leaves us in a state of exhausted tension. Invoke childlike curiosity. Sit down with your negative thoughts and have a loving dialogue with them. Buddhists call this “inviting your demons to tea.”

Positive thoughts. Take time, maybe three or five minutes a day at first, then longer, to focus on consciously thinking positive thoughts. At first, try doing this in neutral or pleasurable spaces specifically. Try it while burying your face in roses. Try it while in a eucalyptus-infused shower or bath. Try it while walking around a lake, through a park, at the beach. Work on memorizing those sensations during those moments of your life that are joyful. Then, begin extending those thoughts and sensations into neutral moments. Affirm yourself after you try something hard or risky. Give yourself a reward. Do not focus on the outcome, focus on the doing. Connect to any positive or neutral aspects you can. Breathe and believe into this state of mind.

Little Activities and Rituals to Try at New Moon Time

Give yourself swathes of blank time to do nothing. Move around the placement of your furniture. Experiment with your hairstyle or clothing. Research genres of music you’ve never heard of and listen to them for a week or a month. Read about a subject you know nothing about. Sign up for a class that interests you. If you always say yes, say no thank you. If you always say no, say yes please. Message the crush. If the first thing you reach for in the moment is your phone, place it out of reach. Ask questions if you don’t understand someone, or a situation, clearly. Watch yourself when you jump to conclusions. Stop yourself before you swirl into a stalemate. Take one or two breaths the length of your favorite river and let yourself unwind. Decide to finally begin: the poetry project, the research on continuing education, the search for a therapist. Write, speak, listen, create: all in service of uncovering. Begin very slowly. Begin very small. Small things become big things.