NUMBER OF PLAYERS 4 to 7This is an easy game for kids to master, and there’s just enough head-to-head competition to keep everybody fully focused on the game. After all, nobody likes being called Pond Scum.
NUMBER OF PLAYERS 4 to 7
HOW TO DEAL Use a fifty-two-card deck, and deal cards clockwise, one at a time, to all players. It’s OK if some players have an extra card or two. Card rankings are standard, with aces always high.
WINNING The goal is to get rid of your cards. The last player holding cards loses the game—and all players are entitled, for just a minute, to heap abuse and insults on the losing player. A game of President & Pond Scum, much like life itself, is tough going sometimes.
HOW TO PLAY The player to the left of the dealer starts. If that’s you, lead any single card or multiple cards of equal rank (5-5, 3-3-3, etc.) face up on the table. The next clockwise player either passes or plays an equal number of higher-ranking cards. You’re never required to play higher cards, even if you have them—it’s always OK to pass. The last person to play wins the lead, when all other players pass. He or she starts from the beginning by playing any card or set of matching cards. A typical round looks like this:
| Player 1/Player 2/Player 3 | Player 4/Player 5 |
| 4-4/Pass/6-6 | Pass/Pass |
| Pass/K-K/Pass | Pass/Pass |
| Pass |
Player two may now lead any card or set of matching cards, since all the other players passed in sequence. The only exception is when hands of equal rank are played—for example when 5-5 is played on 5-5. In this case, the next clockwise player loses a turn.
The first player to run out of cards is known as President; the next player to run out of cards is the Vice President, followed by Janitor, Garbage Collector, Fish Cleaner, Pond Scum, etc. Or try inventing your own titles—maybe King of the Universe all the way down to Low Life. The point is to create truly awful job titles for the last few positions. On the next hand, all players should sit in order of their new job titles (high to low)—the President, of course, should also get the best chair. Cards are dealt by Pond Scum (or whichever player came in last on the previous hand).