CHAPTER 15

Sid rushed in with the freshness of the outdoors surrounding her, waving an envelope and letter in her right hand which she’d obviously just finished reading. ‘It’s arrived.’

It was Saturday morning and Ten, clad in old jeans and blue checked shirt, was just finishing cleaning up the previous night’s supper things. She tilted her cheek for Sid’s kiss, hands still in dishwater, as Sid circled her waist and gave her a big hug. Her cane was hooked over the edge of the counter, but her left ankle was no longer in a cast. For the past week she had gradually been getting used to a heel-toe gait. It was difficult after so long in the support of a cast, but she was determined to persevere and get her heel down properly. Unfortunately, the tendon attachment to the heel itself was now suffering from severe irritation, necessitating the use of painkillers. Apart from that, she was thrilled to be properly on two feet. She had been warned, coming out of the protection of the plaster wasn’t going to be easy, no matter how eagerly the event had been anticipated.

Returning from work Sid had gone to check the mailbox before coming in. A cool breeze, gently blowing from the northeast, was giving intimation of rain to come, but for now the sky was a watery blue-grey and scudded with clouds. The season was on the change. Fall was in the air.

Sid loved this time of year when mornings and evenings were once more cool and refreshing, but the heat of the day preserved the illusion that summer was still with them. The horses too, were different in the fall. The sharp bite to the morning air gave them a zest for running which was unmistakable. When she gave the exercise rider a leg-up, the thoroughbred would kink up its tail and snort like some mythical beast, preparing to meet its foe. Once collected together on the track, the horses would tear off, pounding along the rails to veer round into the straight away, egging each other on in their sheer enjoyment of the chill breeze, carrying with it intriguing smells. In the golden sunlight, their delight in their own speed and agility was a pleasure to the eye.

A fitful sunshine came and went shyly through the clouds that day, touching the tops of the Maples as if to point out the changing colors of the leaves especially for her notice. As yet, the leaves were still on the branches, although she didn’t mind the chore of raking and sweeping to keep the yard tidy. She did regret, however, that it meant winter would not be long away. Skiing didn’t number amongst her pastimes.

She dropped the letter on the counter beside the cane then grabbed a Seven-Up from the fridge. Holding up the bottle she cocked an enquiring eyebrow: ‘You?’

‘Mm..m, please.’

While organizing the drinks, she continued to elaborate. ‘My acceptance for Guelph University has come through and my grant application has been approved.’ At the table she sat, the letter in front of her and began reading out bits. ‘First semester begins September 14th. I’m to be there some time next week to settle into the residence and for freshman orientation.’

Ten dried her hands and joined her. She observed how her face glowed with happiness and excitement. She was looking extremely attractive today, although just wearing her old shorts and a pale lemon cotton shirt, now faded from so many launders. Her hair shone with quicksilver brilliance in the sunlight slanting through the big window and her unblemished skin glowed with a healthy radiance. She looked up as Ten moved over to drop a kiss on the top of her golden head, her hair smelling ‘as fresh as all outdoors’.

Sid’s delight at the prospect of at last starting on the training for her life’s profession was electric. For so long it had seemed this moment would never come and now … at last, it was here. She passed the official communication over as Ten took her place in the other chair. She read the print rapidly, eyes scanning, heart sinking, mind racing ahead. Not long now and Sid would be moving out of their lovely home. She would be once more on her own. She had enjoyed her solitariness before, but life with Sid had changed all that. How would she cope? Although Sid sat right beside her, she felt a piercing stab at the thought of separation and suddenly, the loss of Sid was like a physical pain, gripping her in a severe demise.

“This is foolishness,” she chided, “you’re a big girl.”

Composing herself she returned the letter saying: ‘At last your waiting is over, darling. I had every confidence you’d get in. You have all the requisite marks for your pre-veterinarian courses. And anyway,’ she added, a sparkle of mischief now in her dark eyes: ‘How could they turn down someone as wonderful as you?’ She leaned forward and threw her arms about Sid’s neck, giving her a fervent kiss. The depth of feeling behind this embrace was startling in its intensity.

‘Hey, hey. You carry on like that and we won’t get our weekend shopping done.’ She gave her an extra caress and hug, then continued: ‘Else how do we feed our dinner guests?’ She laughed to lighten the mood, having surprised a look of dejection on her lover’s face. She guessed there had been a sudden pang of regret, which she too had felt, at the prospect of living apart. She was doing her best to cover it over with a lightness she didn’t feel.

These past few weeks had brought Sid more happiness than she could have believed possible. Ten was her perfect mate. She spoke to her heart as no other woman had ever done and was more desirable now than in the beginning, if this could be possible. Yes, it was so. She had learned, under her guidance, not only how to give but, which was more important to Ten, how to receive. She had learned to let go: to trust completely and to give of herself, but totally. Their bonding had become a fulfilment beyond all earthly imaginings. Now and then a troubling thought had bedevilled her mind such as: This can’t be real. It surely can’t last. Even that horrible insinuation … Will not someone come along to snatch her away?

She rose and moved next to Ten to rest her cheek on her dark crown, savoring the soft perfume of her. Now she was thinking: “I’m in the grip of a fear that perhaps what we have together is about to be taken from us. Is this the start of the cost for so much bliss? Is it now time to pay our dues? No. No it’s too soon. Much too soon.”

Ten patted Sid’s arm. ‘I’ll make us lunch,’ she offered. She needed to occupy herself while her mind dealt with the reality that yes indeed, Sid would be leaving her. She went to the kitchen showing very little sign of a limp. She amended her thought: “Not leaving her, just going away to fulfil her goals and to be her own woman.” Continuing her brooding she began to assemble the wherewithal for sandwiches and plugged in the kettle. “This is her right and I have no jurisdiction.” She choked a little on a convulsive swallow: “No right to tie her down; to dampen her happiness.” A muscle twitched nervously in her eyelid as she collected together cheese, tomatoes and mayonnaise. Watching from her vantage point Sid could tell she was caught in introspection, at odds with herself and fighting her emotions. She decided to put the letter away and not talk of Guelph for now. It wouldn’t happen for some days yet.

Lunch made, the two women sat and worked through the shopping list for dinner. Ten had returned to the store Thursdays and Fridays to help out with late night shoppers. This arrangement worked well; she was earning again and contributing to their finances. In consequence, Sid was feeling more comfortable over maintaining their monthly expenses. About money she was a worrywart.

Conveniently, in the local shopping plaza, they’d found a Dominion they liked and next door to it, a liquor store. Unfortunately, for beer, it was still necessary to go across to Yonge and Avenue Road, but the hassle was more over parking than distance.

Tonight they’d invited their landladies for dinner and to help the evening along, Reine and Thea would be here to lend support where needed. Wanting to return their hospitality for some time now, this had presented as the perfect opportunity. The seating arrangements weren’t the greatest; an assortment of chairs and stools had to be pressed into service. However, if the company were having a good time, they reckoned the rather primitive facilities would be overlooked. Despite this, Sid and Ten had made their apartment very cosy, investing in interesting scatter rugs and oriental Afghans to cover the jaded upholstery. The dining table was from the thirties so it could be extended to seat six, but it had come with only four creaky chairs. Sid and Reine would each have to cope with a stool. Handsome pot plants now filled the corners of the living room and either side of the fireplace. In front of the hearth were two colorful, large cushions, just perfect for lounging.

‘I think we’ve covered the basics, Babe. If we spot anything else on the way round we’ll pick it up then.’ Sid looked well satisfied and ready to get the show on the road.

‘Okay, cool,’ Ten agreed promptly, back to her old self, her worries put to one side. ‘I’ll leave this …’ she indicated the remains of lunch, ‘ …and get my purse.’ Sid picked up the keys and checked her wallet.

*   *   *

‘Look Sid, they’ve got jeans on sale.’

They had successfully purchased the items on the list, plus six artichokes Ten had spotted in the gourmet section and couldn’t resist. Sid had never eaten fresh ones but, if Ten wanted her to try them then she wouldn’t say no. She herself had splurged on a balsamic vinegar. She loved making her own dressings, especially since they ate so many different types of salad now.

They were on their way to the car, Sid pushing the cart.

‘You’ve been hoping for a new pair. Why don’t we go in and you try them?’ Sid checked the store that had caught Ten’s attention: Jordache. She liked their stuff. The store was still selling off old stock ahead of the fall arrivals. The prices were right. She hated spending on clothes, but if she could find a ‘bargoon’ then she was more reconciled, having learned the value of money too early in life. Seeing her mother struggle to make ends meet had cut deeply into her psyche. Now her feeling of security had to be propped up by solid financial backing. With others she was generous to a fault, but herself … Ten on the other hand could be frivolous, but she felt she needed to encourage Sid to loosen up; some self-indulgence was good. She didn’t get many opportunities, but it looked like she’d scored a winner here. She was not one to shop for clothes on her own, but with Ten by her side, she quite enjoyed it.

Ten took the cart and they strolled in. Sid went to check for her size, but returned disappointed and ready to leave. The sales assistant came up and after their explanation suggested a pair of corduroys. She frowned thinking: ‘Here we go, the usual hard sell,’ but Ten followed her. The cords were also at the sale price. Looking better. And when she saw them, she was hooked. There were a variety of colors, but a champagne brown appealed the most. They would go well with her forest green sweater. Also, cream featured a lot in winter. She tried them on. Ten thought she looked fantastic. They hugged her ass just right, then draped over her thighs without that annoying twist the legs can sometimes get. Sid was pleased; the Jordache cut had always suited her body type. Of course she’d have to turn up the hems, the legs were always too long.

Facing Ten: ‘What do you think …’ and was about to say, ‘ …Darling,’ but bit her tongue. The sales-girl looked young enough not to mind, but she didn’t want to parade if it might upset Ten and she really didn’t know how she felt about being out. So – ‘play it safe’ would be the order of the day.

‘I think you should take them,’ was all she said. Later she’d go into raves and give those buns a lovely feel. This unexpected purchase put them in a good mood and Sid drove over to the beer store with rather reckless abandon, jolting Ten’s heart when she only just made the lights.

Back at the apartment, Sid busied herself with cleaning and tidying whilst Ten put away and began preparations for dinner. They had embraced vegetarianism, but were not vegan, and still consumed eggs, cheese and milk. Ten regretted the passing of seafood since she loved the crustaceans. But morally she was much happier, knowing her lifestyle was not contributing to the rape of the sea by dragnet fishing and under water explosions. When she looked back on her dad’s fishing, albeit, on a small scale and just for recreation, she did feel somewhat uneasy.

For tonight they had decided on Thai dishes from the new recipe book. Sid had not, as yet, been so moved as to dip into it, but Ten enjoyed experimenting. She was going to prepare Gaeng Liang Fak Tong, which translated to pumpkin and coconut cream soup. She sprinkled the pumpkin with lemon juice, then let it stand for twenty minutes. The recipe called for fish sauce and shrimp paste, but she omitted them and instead sautéed the onion with ground cumin and coriander paste. She added two fresh chopped chillies. While all that was softening and blending she used soy milk to dilute the coconut cream in a large saucepan, then added finely chopped lemon grass, sugar, freshly ground black pepper and brought it all to a boil. Transferring the onion mixture to the pot, she added the pumpkin and set it to simmer gently.

At one stage Sid came into the kitchen, nose sniffing the air. ‘Mm..m, something smells good. What is it?’ Just to tease, Ten had replied: ‘Gaeng Liang Fak Tong.’

‘Don’t be rude.’ Sid had kissed her, laughing. Now she lifted the lid and took a look. ‘Just as I thought, pumpkin soup,’ she confirmed, nodding sagely. ‘I came in to ask if I could put a plant in the bathroom? I’ve finished in there. I put the white guest towels out, then I thought the maidenhair fern would be pretty on the vanity.’ She looked quizzically at the chef.

‘Whatever you like, if you think it looks good, go for it,’ she affirmed distractedly. Her mind was really on the main course: Yam Yai. They had selected a varied salad, so her work was cut out to get everything prepared. That was the only trouble with Thai food, the time it took getting it together. Often the cooking part was minimal. This one needed Bok Choy, bean curd cubes for protein, tomato wedges, sliced cucumber with skin sections for color, blanched broccoli florets, strips of red pepper, shallot curls and peeled and halved hard boiled eggs. She would use coriander leaves for garnish. Yam Yai had been their choice since there would be no last minute cooking required and Ten could relax. The guests knew they would be eating vegetarian, so they just had to be sure it was tasty.

After Sid’s chores, she would make the dressing. Ten had thought it prudent to begin with artichokes, fearful of people leaving the table still hungry.

‘We’re probably going to have too much now,’ Sid observed, as she began to assemble what she needed. She would put in heaps of garlic and use her new vinegar. ‘Still, as you say, better that than to run short. The baguettes should fill any hollow legs that remain, otherwise there’s always Malibu Jacks down the road, when they leave,’ she added for devilment.

‘Oh Sid, no.’ wailed Ten. ‘They wouldn’t have to come to that, would they?’

‘Just kidding,’ Sid assured her light heartedly, happy in her work. This was the first time she was part of a duo, inviting friends for a proper dinner-party that wasn’t just ordering in. If not exactly doing it in style, at least they were giving of their own hospitality. It felt good.

By six o’clock everything was well in hand. It was time to get ready, being sure the ladies wouldn’t be late. Sid stripped down then jumped into the shower. Soon she heard Ten’s voice asking if she could join her. Opening the shower curtain she said simply: ‘Come on in.’

She put her wet hands round Ten’s waist and helped her step into the bathtub, then closed the curtain behind her. Laughter erupted spontaneously from Ten as she fell against Sid and soon was as soapy as she. ‘Turn round, I’ll do your back,’ she instructed. It felt wonderful to get a stimulating scrub all over her back. She was standing there enjoying it when Sid put down the loofah and used her hands.

‘Mm..m, I like it,’ she sighed contentedly.

Sid felt intoxicated by the feel of the beautiful curves now under her soapy hands. Soft flesh, firm and rounded, sliding hot and wet. “What a body this woman has.” She luxuriated in her sensuality. Ten felt Sid’s body against hers. Her hands began to slide under and over her breasts. Then to her belly and round to her thighs; back up and round again. She felt herself leaning more heavily against her, not wanting the caresses to stop, but knowing they didn’t have any time. ‘Sid …’ Her voice came in a husky whisper. ‘We don’t …’

‘Sh.. it’s OK. This won’t take long, I can tell.’ Sid’s voice was barely audible above the splashing of the shower, but she spoke to Ten’s ear, then nibbled it as she slid her arm around her waist and under her breasts, lifting them slightly so they rested on her forearm. She could see the nipples erect and eager. She let her right hand glide down between Ten’s legs, to the soft, full lips, hot with longing, as her gentle fingers probed and parted the silky folds. Supporting her weight, she began slowly to slide back and forth along her slit. Ten felt the intensity of her passion burn into her, like a molten heat. She went weak at the knees, but Sid kept her up. She raised her arm to the wall to keep herself still and then let herself be driven by Sid, as her clit demanded more and more. She brought her legs together and squeezed Sid’s hand so tight that at last only the vibration of her touch remained. Raised to the height by so much sexual pleasure, its intensity suddenly split apart and quickly she plummeted, over the edge into a vortex of sensual feeling. Groaning softly as her body was flooded by exquisiteness, she shuddered helplessly.

Losing all track of time, Ten leaned into her lover, still being sluiced by the warm water. At last she turned herself to face Sid and put her arms around her neck, once more able to use her legs.

‘What a lover you are …’ she murmured into her shoulder, ‘ …and very naughty. How could you take this defenceless woman so wantonly when she has no time for this?’ She moved back to look at Sid whose flushed face radiated an incandescent air of self-satisfaction. She began to kiss her streaming face and neck, returning eventually to her lips. The kiss was deep and lingering, affirming for them both, the sincerity of their love.

‘I’m outta here.’ Sid pulled away and smacking Ten on the bottom screwed up her face into mock concern: ‘Unhand me woman, I’ve guests to see to.’ She leaped out.

Ten was dragging her chain; the limbs just didn’t want to move. Eventually she appeared, having washed her hair too. Not the original intention, but since it had gotten soaked … Sid was already dressed looking very sharp in the new cords and her cream silk shirt. She smelled divine too. A waft of ‘Aramis’ melted her all over again. She heard Sid in the kitchen getting things organized for drinks, and the strains of Geri Halliwell singing, LIFT ME UP. She could have happily lain on the bed and just luxuriated there, listening to the music.

“Get on, Ten” she scolded, frowning: “They’ll be here soon and you only dressed in two towels.” She chose a practical outfit for the evening … if she had to keep jumping up … Just a black, sleeveless top, no bra would make Sid happy, and a tailored, undyed linen skirt featuring buttons down the front, the lower half of which remained undone. The hair? Tie it back in a scrunchie and let it dry in its own time. For a moment, as she looked in the mirror, she remembered how she used to dress her hair for dancing. A pain of regret shot through her. She must develop resilience; reconcile herself to the fact she would probably never dance flamenco again. She began on the eyes, then looked down at her left leg, now wasted. The bulk of the calf muscle had disappeared. She had been shocked when she first saw that thin, dry, scaly leg, like a stick. The skin was back to normal, but would the muscle ever get to the size of the other one? Right now the toes were puffy because she’d been on it too long. She couldn’t put her foot up tonight either, not ’til bedtime. How she hated all this.

Voices. She checked her watch. Yes, Moira and Rani were right on time. She heard Sid saying that she, Ten, wouldn’t be long. Quickly she finished her eyes and decided to be jewelryless. She’d taken to wearing her leather thongs at home since they left her toes free and encouraged her to get her heel down. Quickly she slipped them on and went out to greet the women.

‘Ah, here she is,’ observed Sid as she emerged from the other room. Moira was struck by her radiance. There was a bloom about her and a definite air of satisfaction.

She and Sid were nursing beers. Rani had opted for a white wine spritzer. She looked beautiful in a midnight-blue sari, edged with silver and gold filigree. Elaborate, dangling silver earrings set off the perfect oval of her face. As she moved, silver bangles tinkled on her wrist and her evening slippers reflected shafts of silver and gold.

‘What for you, Ten?’ Sid enquired, giving her a special look of intimate appraisal that made her glow from the inside.

‘A spritzer would be fine for me too, thanks.’ She looked hastily down, too covered in confusion by the traitorous tug of her feelings. Sid smiled.

Bowls of nibblies: nuts, potato chips and olives had been set out and they sat, ill at ease now they had no business to discuss. The silence was unsettling. Ten and Moira began to speak at the same time just as the doorbell rang.

‘That’ll be them,’ Sid acknowledged in relief, jumping up from the cushions. The others continued to sit in silence, not looking at each other, letting their eyes wander about the room, aimlessly. Suddenly the air exploded as Reine came striding in, filling the doorway with her bulk, then the room itself with her overflowing energy, as she boomed out her hearty greetings. Ten, who had risen at her appearance, was now clasped in a warm embrace as she declared: ‘Pretty as a picture. How are you?’

She stood back, holding her hands at arms’ length. ‘This good for nothing friend of mine taking care of you properly, eh?’ she asked, her face taking on a lecherous cast. ‘If she’s not, you send her to me. I’ll soon tell her which end is up,’ she leered, guffawing at her own humor. No one else followed suit, leaving Ten blushing to her hairline. Thea felt she should step in and introduced herself, in an effort to for-stall any further lascivious outbursts.

‘Now I was coming to that,’ Sid looked aggrieved: ‘It was just Reine here took over and didn’t give me a chance.’

Introductions proceeded on a more formal basis and then drinks were dispensed. Both Reine and Moira wore light colored shirts and tailored pants. Whereas Reine had a contrasting vest over her shirt, Moira wore the suit jacket to complete the ensemble. Thea, as usual, was in a colorful outfit, a loose over blouse and flowing dark red skirt. Her eyes, behind her glasses, took in every detail of Rani and were impressed.

Quickly conversation began to flow and the process of ‘getting-to-know-you’, got under way. The first area of exploration: their work environments. Ten was glad to see they had been able to bypass the weather. Not contributing at this stage, she was very much enjoying listening, but when Sid suggested refills, took the opportunity to excuse herself.

‘Need a hand?’ Thea enquired.

‘No thanks. Everything’s assembled. I only have to cook it.’ As she made her way towards the kitchen, Reine asked how her leg was coming along.

‘Oh, not too badly, thanks Reine. I still have to take time to put it up to keep control of the swelling … which is a bit of a bore. But the pain seems to be on the decline, so I can’t complain.’

Ten’s idea to begin with the artichokes was a great success. It was a tasty novelty for some and they enjoyed sharing the melted lemon butter pot between two. Sid had split up the couples in the seating arrangements and everyone got on famously. They were there to have a good time and this they did.

No dessert was served, instead the women could select from a cheese and fruit platter which Sid had put together. They need not have worried over the meal being vegetarian, the guests all declared themselves well satisfied. By this time in the proceedings, conversation was flowing freely. Topics had been many and varied, but the one under current discussion was the insistence by the French to pursue nuclear testing in the Asia-Pacific Region. Rani was of the opinion that the whole exercise was pointless.

‘They have a right to be able to defend themselves,’ Reine pointed out reasonably. ‘Not that I condone testing anywhere but in their own back yard, mind you.’

‘But that’s the point, Reine,’ Rani contended. ‘If the French need to defend themselves it will most likely be from an attack by their neighbors. This being the case, will they use a nuclear bomb and run the risk of killing or inflicting suffering on their own people?’

‘Just like Bosnia Herzegovina,’ Sid interjected. ‘Too close to home.’

‘Exactly,’ Rani nodded as she turned to acknowledge Sid’s observation. ‘Now if they won’t use nuclear warheads for attack purposes and they can’t use them for defence, what is the point of all this?’

Thea began to speak slowly. ‘I wonder if, since all this started after Jacques Chirac was elected and there was no demand from the French people that this testing take place, if Chirac is fulfilling a promise. Perhaps paying his dues to the Military?’ She looked around at the faces of the women gathered at the table. All were pursuing her argument with interest. ‘See here. If they helped elect him, then …’

‘It’s too bad someone couldn’t come up with a face saving solution for him,’ Ten pondered. ‘Some way to get him off the hook. It’s obvious the French are not wholeheartedly behind him.’

‘It’s interesting too, how silent the English are being on this contentious issue,’ Moira noted. ‘I wonder what power is holding their tongue?’ Since no one had an answer to this, they lapsed into silence.

‘More coffee?’ Sid offered. There were a few hands.

Thea had obviously continued worrying at the problem of nation in conflict with nation, since she made the following statement. ‘You know they say the single most significant factor in modern warfare was the dropping of the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima by the Enola Gay.’ The others nodded in agreement.

‘I’ll be so relieved when this test ban treaty finally gets signed,’ Sid called out from the kitchen. She may not be at the table, but she certainly was interested and didn’t want to be left out.

‘Well, I beg to differ on this point,’ Thea stated, her face creased in concern. A collective ‘Oh?’, of enquiry went the rounds. ‘Yes. I look at it this way …’

“Here she goes again,” thought Reine. “Always something different, dear heart.”

‘Well, we know from history that armies customarily fought each other on the battlefield, or whichever theatre of war was under contention. Right?’

‘Right.’

‘With the advent of the airplane this all changed. Governments were able to designate targets for destruction that could involve innocent women and children, but with no, or few losses to their side. Get in … get out … and their own people still safe and sound.’ Thea paused for breath. ‘I believe this single innovation drastically redirected military strategy, as it had never been in the past. The airplane now had the power to subjugate a whole nation through its ability to destroy; all the while keeping the home fires burning. The nuclear bomb on the other hand, except for Hiroshima and Nagasaki, can only act as a deterrent and that, only at a distance. The airplane is far more deadly, especially if you have smart missiles in your armory.

The introspective silence was broken by the arrival of Sid with a tray of coffees. Whilst everyone busied themselves with the cream and sugar Reine opted for a beer. She turned to Ten to enquire how she was enjoying her work at the counselling centre.

‘It’s going very well, thanks, Reine. I believe I’m finally getting the hang of things. There’s this great guy who’s been in reception for yonks. I work with him. He knows everybody from way back.’ Ten turned to Thea. ‘You remember Lyndall?’

‘Sure.’

Sid raised her head. She remembered Lyndall too; her face darkened.

‘The counsellors are really nice. After the clients’ interviews have been completed, we all meet for about half an hour. It’s sort of like a debriefing session. Of course personal details are not discussed. Just rescheduling, new clients coming on stream, old ones moving on or being transferred. Anyway, the counsellors always speak of their clients with such genuine concern and interest. It’s obvious their involvement is sincere.’

Reine interjected abruptly. ‘I should hope so. They chose that line of work. Mind you, I couldn’t do it. No patience.’ She grinned across at Sid. ‘It’s a wonder my little lady has put up with me for so many years.’ Rani cringed inwardly at the sexist overtones. A couple from a different time, she supposed. I wonder if they suspect about us she mused as she looked over to where Moira was sitting. They caught each other’s eye and smiled companionably.

‘Probably went to counselling, just to get her through the weeks.’ Sid quipped, giving a big wink in Thea’s direction.

‘OK, that’s enough you two,’ Thea remonstrated. Hell’s bells, nobody was out here and she was sure her friends wanted them to create a good impression for the landladies. Those two had been too much into the suds. She changed the subject. ‘Tenille mentioned Lyndall?’

‘Oh yes. She’s been a big help to me.’

“I bet she has,” thought Sid sourly. Out loud she said: ‘How is that?’ Ten turned to look at her, but she saw no guile on her face, only genuine feeling.

‘Part of my job is to field telephone calls. Well, sometimes a client’ phones in, very distressed. She’s helped me with how to calm them down while still being supportive. Other times a client may call in very angry. She’s given me tips on how to deflect this energy into more constructive channels.’ She smiled at Sid. ‘Stuff like that.’ She hoped the spotlight would move off her now. No one as yet had asked the name of the Centre and she didn’t want to have to be evasive, but she didn’t want to tell Rani and Moira at this stage either. When she knew them better and felt more comfortable would be soon enough.

Sid felt chastened by the reply and regretted her previous ugliness. She had no time for dwelling on it, however, as the conversation turned from Ten to Rani. Moira had offered the information that Rani worked as a volunteer at the community radio station CKLN.

‘I know that one,’ Sid disclosed: ‘88.1 on your FM dial.’

‘Absolutely,’ Rani concurred. ‘I’m involved in program production. I’ve been there almost a year now. The people are cool and there’s always lots happening.’ Her face was alight with animation and her dark eyes flashed in her dusky skin. As she held the floor, her mellifluous voice was accompanied by the musical tinkling of her jewelry. ‘We’re located in the bowels of the Ryerson Polytechnic building. It’s a bit of a warren, but no matter, we find our way.’

‘What sort of programming, Rani?’ Thea insisted.

‘This is one of the reasons I like it so much,’ she conceded. ‘CKLN is alternative radio, so we cover what the main stream passes by. It’s fascinating.’ The eyes flashed again. Sid reckoned she could be a lot of woman to handle, but Moira obviously managed all right. It was a pleasure to watch and listen to her.

‘It’s a station not afraid to tackle controversial issues.’ Her glance took them all in. ‘For example: street people. We walk past them in the depths of winter, sleeping over those warm subway vents. We know nothing about them and we don’t help. CKLN will take on a topic like that and raise people’s awareness. There’s a whole department devoted to women’s issues and the music library is like you’d never believe. Really interesting artists who normally wouldn’t get any airplay, develop a devoted following of faithful listeners.’ She stopped, then remembered. ‘Yes, and that’s another thing. The people who listen to us are very vocal. They come from all walks of life; not afraid to make their thoughts and feelings known. It truly is ‘community radio’.’

‘It does sound very interesting,’ Ten observed.

Rani turned to Ten. ‘You know,’ she said with deliberation, ‘the station is looking for someone to take on the four pm. and five pm news spots. Perhaps, while you still have time on your hands, you might like to give it a try.’

‘Me.’ she exclaimed. ‘Goodness, I’m just getting my feet wet at the counselling centre … This is enough for me.’ She looked horrified at the thought. ‘Anyway, I think I’d be too nervous to speak into a microphone,’ she ended lamely.

‘What about you, Sidonie?’ Rani turned those arresting eyes in her direction.

‘Actually, I think it sounds like fun. But sorry, not me, I’m off to Guelph next week.’ This disclosure set everyone into a stir. Questions flew at her from every direction and it was all she could do to field them in turn.

‘Well, that’s it,’ declared Reine. ‘If Eager-Beaver here, is off to study, then you my dear, should definitely have something to fill your time.’ She looked piercingly at Ten. ‘Since you still can’t get about real good, these activities will keep you from moping.’

‘I agree with Reine,’ Thea endorsed. ‘When you’re on your own during the week, something like this will help to pass the time.’ Her look was commiserating as she smiled at her. She knew how hard it was going to be.

‘Listen, Ten …’ Sid prompted, ‘ …you’ll never know how you’ll do if you don’t give it a try. I think it sounds like something you’d be good at … and you have a lovely voice. It would be great on radio. I know I, for one, would listen to you.’

‘Well, why don’t we make a date for say, next Wednesday?’ suggested Rani. ‘That wouldn’t interfere with your work, would it? I can introduce you to the station manager and news director. I’ll show you around and you can see what you think,’ she concluded persuasively.

Ten’s feelings were mixed. She had misgivings regarding her ability, yet could not deny a sense of excitement at the prospect. In the end she acquiesced, agreeing to make a date for Wednesday. What was she getting herself into? Wild thoughts began to tumble round her brain. Never before had she gotten involved with such varied activities.

The evening wound down to a very contented close. Moira and Rani left first, promising that next time they’d all have dinner at their place. Before the others took their leave Thea had a quiet moment with Ten in the bedroom. She expressed her opinion they’d pulled dinner off admirably. ‘We really enjoyed meeting Moira and Rani. It makes a nice change to embark on stimulating discussions without resorting to the personal.’

Yes, Ten thought, Thea would appreciate that aspect of the evening. However, she knew Reine relished intimate details.

‘I’m glad you’re keeping an open mind about Ryerson, Ten. While you’re finding life a bit tough at the moment..’ she looked down at her foot which was now very swollen, ‘ …these activities will be a diversion for you.’

‘Yes,’ Ten agreed grudgingly, ‘I suppose you’re right Thea, but I don’t share the same faith in my abilities that everyone else seems to have. I do know I’m going to miss Sid dreadfully, so some involvement like this will be good. Oh Thea. you know I’m happy for Sid, but it’s so hard. Do you know what I mean?’ Her eyes glistened with unshed tears and Thea moved over to the bed where she sat, placing a comforting arm about her shoulders. Ten rested her head.

‘It’s been so wonderful these last weeks,’ she gulped through a clenched throat. ‘I can’t tell you Thea, how much Sid means to me. She’s my whole life.’ She stroked her cheek. “Poor kid,” she thought: “It’s going to be a hard time on both of them.” Sidonie would come home weekends. Still that wasn’t the same.

‘Listen, you know you’re always welcome to come over to us if things get too rough, don’t you?’

‘I do Thea. You and Reine are good, good friends and I appreciate all your concern, but I’m a big girl and I know I only have to get used to the new format and I’ll adjust.’ Ten’s brows had drawn together as she tried hard to persuade herself of the truth of this statement. Thea observed the strain she was under and the effort it took to put on this brave face. ‘You’re right, time will help,’ she reassured her.

‘Hey. You two. Are you ever coming out? This girl here is dying on her feet and I’m not all that far off it, too.’ Their moment together was broken by Reine’s impatient voice.

‘Coming,’ Thea called out. As they emerged she said: ‘Such a fuss. It’s Sunday tomorrow, a day of rest.’

‘Not for Sidonie it isn’t. It’s another day at the salt mines, my dear,’ Reine reminded her: ‘So we should go and let her get her much needed sleep.’

‘It’s OK Reine. I can always catch up with an afternoon nap. Don’t worry.’ Sid calmed her friend’s perturbation. There were goodnight hugs all round and then they were gone. At the door Sid took Ten in her arms. Their kiss was gentle and loving. They knew the evening had been a success and felt well satisfied.

‘I’ll leave the kitchen for tomorrow, Hon. I’ve lots of time to get straightened away,’ Ten decided.

‘That’s all right with me, Babe,’ Sid assured her. ‘Reine is right though, I’m bushed. Come to bed and let me feel your wonderful body next to mine,’ she cajoled, leading Ten by the hand, at the same time turning out lights as she went.

Ten chuckled. ‘I’ll enjoy feeling yours too.’

*   *   *

That week flew by at a great rate for Sid, with many loose ends to attend to before her departure. She made time to pop into the gym after work on Tuesday to say goodbye to her friends. She saw Kelly and Serena, but it was Nina’s day off.

‘How did the competition go?’ they were at the coffee shop after their workout. She nursed a chocolate milk, but they’d ordered fortified juices.

‘Oh Sid, it was great.’ This from Kelly. ‘You would have enjoyed it. The competition was keen, but man, those girls from the States were good.’

‘Yes,’ joined in Serena: ‘They deserved to win and we learned a lot from them.’ She took a sip of her juice then continued: ‘The only disappointment was their attitude.’

‘Yeah,’ interjected Kelly, pulling a face.

‘They tended to stick together and acted real snobbish. I didn’t like how they looked down on us, just because this was our first meet.’

‘The girls from Ottawa were nice though, weren’t they?’ Kelly looked at Serena for confirmation. ‘They came in second overall, but I thought Therese should have won in the heavy-weight class.’

‘Do you think the club will enter again next year?’ Sid enquired, looking at Serena. She was always a feast for the eyes.

‘We’d like to, but they’re thinking of holding it in Medicine Hat. I ask you,’ she rolled her heavy lidded eyes. ‘Who will go all the way out there?’

‘Well, Albertans will like it and they could get a crowd south of the border, up from Montana and even Washington State,’ Sid pointed out reasonably.

She spent a pleasant hour with her friends and then visited with the other girls she’d gotten to know during her association with the club. By the time she’d completed her farewells, it was almost five o’clock. She’d wanted to beat the rush hour and now she’d be stuck right in the middle. “Damn.” she thought, “I’d better phone Ten.” Usually she drove her to the Counselling Centre. She was to be there by six o’clock; the first appointments began at half past. Then she picked her up at nine when they were done. At this rate Ten would have to take the TTC. She’d be letting her down and all because she hadn’t kept a closer watch on her time. Now they’d not see each other ’til later. It was getting very hard, this being their last week.

‘Hi Babe, it’s me.’

‘Darling where are you, is everything okay?’ There was concern in her voice.

‘Fine Sweetness I’m at the gym. You’ll have to make your own way over to College, I think. You know how slow Bloor can be, even though I’ll cut up through Dufferin. I’m really sorry about this.’

‘Oh Sid,’ the regret in Ten’s voice was unmistakable. She sighed: ‘If I don’t see you before, then you’ll be at the centre later?’ she questioned.

‘For sure. It’s just I don’t think I can make it home in time to get you to the Centre by six.’

‘That’s cool Hon, I’m just sorry I won’t see you.’ She dropped her voice. ‘I miss you.’

The words tugged at her heart strings and made her feel even worse. She wished she could make it up to her, but there was nothing to be done except drive. This she did, but she had guessed right. Ten had already left by the time she pulled up. The traffic had been a nightmare.

She decided to make good use of her time alone. After a quick stir-fry of Chinese noodles, she got stuck into sorting through the clothes she would need during the week away and what she could leave at home for weekends. She took time out to phone her mother, who was delighted at the news. She had always looked upon her eldest as the smartest and, deep in her heart, she was her favorite.

‘Mam, you realize I won’t be able to send you money for a while, don’t you? As soon as I see how my finances are working out, I’ll send what I can,’ Sid assured her.

‘It’s all right, Siddie,’ Mavis replied. ‘Billy got an apprenticeship through the Mohawk College, Applied Sciences Course. You know how we thought he’d never stick to anything?’

‘Yeah. He found something he liked? It would be the only way.’

‘He did. Would you believe, he’s part-time with the College and also with the Department of Parks and Recreation. There are others of his age there of course, and he’s making new friends.’

‘I like that Mam. Anything that gets him away from those downtown arcades. That was bad news when he started to skip school. Is he easier for you to manage?’ This had always been a sore point with her mother, but from this distance she thought she could risk it.

‘Tell me. How’s little Chelsey?’ Sid always thought of Chelsey as little, although she was now fourteen and big for her age. Her brain damage was not of the severest kind so her general health was, for the most part, quite good. But she always seemed to succumb to infections, which kept her from being robust.

‘She’s doing well, Sid. She likes the new sheltered workshop much better than the school. It’s given her a sense of self-worth, she never got from Runnymede. Listen here she is; I’ll put her on.’ Sid heard a bit of business in the handing over of the phone and there she was squealing in delight.

‘Siddie, Siddie. I’ve got a lovely new purse to keep my bus tickets and tissues in. It’s blue. I wish you could see it.’

‘What’s the name of your new friend, Chelse?’ Sid knew to keep her questions simple and only one at a time. It hadn’t always been this way. When younger she’d not been so patient, but she had learned and her diligence had been repaid one hundredfold in the love her sister heaped on her. She looked upon Sid as a second mother. When Mavis had been forced to work those long hours and couldn’t be home, Sid had been the primary care-giver for both her siblings. Unfortunately Billy had become too wild. He needed paternal discipline and Mavis just couldn’t come down on him hard enough. Sid had done her best, trying to appeal to his finer nature, but soon he stopped listening to her. So long as she kept cooking his meals, doing his laundry that was all he was interested in. Even that stopped once he found ways to make money. Sid was sure the neighbors must wonder how they were all turning out so well when they had been such hell raisers in their youth.

‘Julie. She’s got blond hair like us. I’d like you to meet her too, Siddie. She’s funny.’

‘Maybe I will one day Chelse.’ Mavis came back on the line.

‘She sounds good doesn’t she,’ her voice was positive.

‘Very happy,’ Sid agreed.

‘Any chance of you getting back to us at Thanksgiving? The University will give you a break then, won’t it?’

‘Yes we do. That would be great Mam. Ma?’

‘Yes?’

‘I’d like to bring Tenille to meet you then too. Could I?’ Sid was tentative, but she longed to present Ten to her family. They were such an important part of her life. She wanted everyone to like each other and to get along. Perhaps Thanksgiving would be the perfect opportunity. It was also the weekend of Ten’s birthday. The whole thing would be really cool.

‘Of course, Siddie. We’d like to meet your new friend. You’ve told me so much about her, it would be good to meet face to face.’

She knew her mother wouldn’t be a problem, but she wasn’t sure how Ten would take to Billy and Chelsey. She’d kept her pretty much in the dark as to her family background, but after that disastrous trip to Lindsay, she’d thought discretion truly was the better part of valor.

‘OK Mam, I’ll see what I can arrange.’

‘When do you leave and when do you actually start?’ Mavis wanted all the details.

‘I finish work Saturday. I’m going up Monday to get settled into the residence. Tuesday I have to register, get my books, equipment etc. They give you a big long list and Wednesday is the actual Orientation. The sophomores take you around …’

‘Enough with those big words already,’ her mother joked.

‘I’ll return to Toronto Thursday and don’t have to be back again until Sunday. Classes start Monday. There you are Mam; blow by blow.’

‘Thank you, daughter mine.’

‘I’ll come over and visit with you Friday, if that’s convenient. I’ll be able to get away then.’ She knew that with Ten working the late night shopping hours, she’d not be missed.

‘I’d love that Siddie. I’ll make your favorite stew with pumpkin.’ Mavis was already planning.

‘Hold it Mam.’

‘What?’

‘I’m vegetarian now.’

‘Oh no. How can I cook for you? I don’t know all that fancy stuff,’ her mother lamented, perplexed by this news.

‘It’s OK,’ Sid hastened to assure her, ‘Don’t panic. Just cook your usual meat and two veg. and I’ll double up on the veggies. Simple.’

‘I can’t just give you that. It’s not enough.’ Her mother was adamant.

‘Mam, listen if you’re going to be difficult over this, I won’t come at all,’ Sid threatened, getting impatient.

‘No, no. Vegetables it is,’ Mavis capitulated. A visit from Sid was all too rare.

‘That’s settled then. I’ll call you before I leave. What time do you get home these days?’

‘I just beat Chelsey’s bus at four thirty. The boss doesn’t like that I leave early, but what choice do I have? So I lose an hour’s pay every day, but that’s better than no job at all.’

‘Too right.’

Mavis was a machinist for ‘Fruit of the Loom’, a company with a more sensitive social conscience than many in the rag trade. She appreciated the concession they gave to the fact of her having a handicapped daughter. After talking to her mother, Sid decided to call Milka and Edina, they were unlikely to be out midweek. They both had a stint on the line and were delighted for her that everything was turning out so well. They too, wanted all the details. By the time she got off the phone it was pushing it to get to the Centre in time. “Oo..ps, twice in one day would definitely be too much,” she thought.

Sid need not have worried, at that time of night it was a smooth run. Everyone looked pleased to see her. She was getting to know the crew quite well. One of the clients always came along with her friend who didn’t like to leave their pet pooch at home. He would make a big fuss of Sid as soon as he saw her. Sundance was a lively Wheaten Terrier his glossy, full coat a golden champagne. Colleen tied a red and white check bandana round his neck, the point hanging down in front. Sid found him irresistible and gave him as much attention as he gave her. His bright eyes sparkled in her presence with his tail wagging in joyful abandon. ‘He never makes this much fuss over anyone else.’

‘I love animals. Perhaps he senses it?’

Colleen kept him well groomed making it a sensual delight to pet and play with him.

‘It must take you quite some time to keep him like this,’ she commented.

‘A labor of love.’ Colleen looked down fondly on Sundance. Noting this response, he turned to his mistress and began giving her great licks with his big pink tongue, the tail going all the while. “He really is a love,” thought Sid. “One day Ten and I will have a pet. Perhaps one for her and one for me.”

At last all the closing up chores were done and they could get away. ‘How was the evening, Babe?’ she asked once they’d gotten themselves settled. Ten was wearing a navy sweater of soft mohair, over her pale pink shirt and navy pants. She always wore pants or jeans these days being too self-conscious about her leg.

‘It was a good night. Busy. But I like that. How about you?’ Sid thought better of talking about her sorting and packing so launched straight into her telephoning. She got Ten caught up on Milka and Edina’s goings on, the main event in their lives being their trip up to Parry Sound to take in the music festival. The weather had been perfect, the scenery magical and the music … out of this world.

‘I guess they had a good time then,’ Ten laughed broadly.

‘Speaking of trips, Ten,’ Sid began: ‘How would you like to visit my Ma for Thanksgiving?’ Ten turned and looked at her. This was the first time she had mentioned any involvement with her family and she was delighted. ‘I know it’s only to Mississauga, not really a trip, but it would be an outing.’

‘Sid, I’d be thrilled to meet your mother and …’ now she had to wrack her brains for their names.

‘Chelsey and Billy,’ she supplied.

‘Yes. Will your mother be happy to meet me?’ she voiced her concern, that usual frown appearing.

‘Don’t.’ she said, smoothing Ten’s brow with a gentle hand. ‘No need to frown,’ she reassured her. She wanted to say: ‘My Mam isn’t Doris,’ but instead repeated her mother’s words that she’d love to see her face to face. As they got themselves ready for bed, she continued: ‘I’m popping over to Ma’s next Friday, for dinner, so I’ll drive you to work and then head on out.’

Ten settled herself down under the covers. ‘No need Honey, the St. Clair streetcar stop is right on the corner and it takes me into the station, next to the escalators. Anyway, you don’t realize how good I’m getting on my foot. I hardly need the cane any more.’

‘Now listen here, Smarty Pants,’ Sid admonished as she climbed in beside her: ‘Don’t run before you can walk. That tendon can flare up as quick as a chipmunk’s tail. You set yourself back, especially if I’m not around to help out, then you’ll really have a long face.’ The reminder of Sid’s imminent departure sobered their mood. She took Ten in her arms and kissed her softly.

‘Darling. I’m going to miss you so much,’ Ten confided. ‘I love you so desperately, it feels like my heart will break when I think of you leaving.’ She clung to her as if she would be taking off right then.

‘My Sweetness,’ Sid said, soothing her with gentle caresses: ‘It’s hard for me too, but you know it’s something I have to …’

Ten interrupted, placing her fingertips over her mouth. ‘I know Sid, I wouldn’t stop you for the world. This is important and you must do it. I don’t mean anything like that, it’s just … well, I will be longing for your return,’ she finished helplessly, her large, dark eyes reaching out to Sid imploringly. They were moist from the threatening tears.

Sid adjusted her body more snugly so she could feel Ten’s breasts pressing against hers. She loved it when they were this close. Great Goddess Sophia, she would miss this woman. Those eyes went straight to her heart.

‘Listen my Love. Yes I leave Monday, but I’m back down again Thursday and then we have the whole weekend. We should plan something special to do, how’s that?’ She tried to lift her darling’s spirits. She didn’t want her going off to sleep with sad thoughts.

‘Mm..m yes, let’s do that. Make it special,’ Ten endorsed. Her eyelids were beginning to feel heavy. ‘You must get off to sleep, Sid. It’s getting late. Don’t worry. I am all right, truly.’ She kissed Sid goodnight, her lips moving on hers in a tender caress, then turned on her side so she could come in close behind her. This is how they dropped off to sleep every night.

*   *   *

Rani had arranged with Ten to collect her after lunch the next day. Sid still wasn’t back, needing to have the car serviced. The old girl was getting on and with all the driving scheduled, it would be prudent to have a few things checked out. Also, she had confidence in the Texaco mechanic near the track, having gotten to know him during her time there. He would do his best by her. She hoped so, anyway.

Today Rani was in western clothes. Over black tights she wore a mid-length red top, sporting the CKLN logo of a microphone growing out of the ground, with the CN Tower as part of the city skyline to identify the location as Toronto; all this encompassed in a black circle. Her hair had been tied back and there was no jewelry. Her dusky Indian looks were strikingly attractive; a woman not to be disregarded. Ten didn’t invite her in, she was set to go, dressed casually in jeans and T-shirt with a sweater tied round her shoulders for later.

Their journey downtown got off to a slow start having just missed a streetcar, but once at the subway, they zipped along. The train was empty this time of day, the ensuing quiet giving Rani the opportunity to impart some background information on the station. It relied heavily on volunteer labor, the many people offering their time being students in journalism and/or radio. These would be her colleagues, she explained. In the evening it could be a different work force; the station manager had a lot to co-ordinate.

Alighting at College, they walked through to Gerrard Street, passing animated knots of students, or others, rushing on to their next class. It all reminded Ten of her student days at Peterborough Civic. How she wished she’d finished her training. She should investigate the possibility of enrolling at TGH as a mature student. “Could this be done in Nursing?” she wondered. While Sid was engaged in her studies, she could be involved with her own. Once back on her feet she would check into it.

Rani led the way downstairs and along a number of confusing corridors. At last she pushed open a heavy door, entering them immediately into a hubbub of sound. The radio was on and everyone shouting over top of it. The station manager’s office was no more than a corner; a space partitioned off by two large noise baffles. Accessibility was the name of the game here. To Ten’s surprise the manager was a woman. Automatically she had expected a man. “How easily one gets trapped into ways of thinking,” she admonished herself.

The friendliness and warmth of Ten’s reception did much to put her at ease. Rani introduced her to Gudrun Pramberg who decided to conduct the tour herself and took them through to the newsroom. All space was cramped, people everywhere, but they seemed to know what they were doing, despite the apparent disorder. The newscaster for Wednesday was a young, black Nova Scotian, Aldo. He was very pleased to see Tenille. He felt badly at having to leave them, but if they got a replacement quickly, he could take off with a clearer conscience.

‘Look, any help I can give you, I’m your man,’ He smiled at her broadly. ‘I can come in early for the next two weeks and go through everything with you. Really, it’s not hard once you get the hang of it.’ He was trying to sound positive. The last one had run the distance once he’d seen all that was involved. This one looked a bit of a timid squirrel too. Gudrun thanked him and they moved on to the soundproof booth where the news was actually read. An older man was in there, wearing headphones. Ten asked about them.

‘Come round here,’ Gudrun indicated a door beyond the booth that had a window in it. She peered in and saw a young man sitting at a control panel. Gudrun continued. ‘Hervey is in contact with Ryan, the monitor. Ryan cues him and sets up the carts he needs; that is the tapes. You see you would never be in there alone, that is you would always be monitored. Hervey receives his instructions via the headphones; he hears when the cut is ending and gets ready on the next cue.’

‘It’s all very straight forward, Tenille,’ Rani reassured her. They moved on, but progress was slow due to all the introductions. They were making her feel she’d already said yes, but she needed to know more about the actual news part.

The tour completed, Gudrun returned to her cubicle and Rani took her back to the newsroom. Aldo was still working on the late afternoon’s news, so she didn’t interrupt him, except to check that it was all right for them to be there. She showed her the press releases the station received, of forthcoming events. There was a stack of daily newspapers from all over.

‘Any item already covered by a previous newscaster is always marked and dated, to avoid too much repetition and …’

‘Rani.’ Ten aghast, interrupted her in mid-flow: ‘Do you mean I would have to write the news as well as read it?’ This was definitely more than she’d bargained for.

‘Yes, but don’t you see, Tenille, this is the wonderful part of working at CKLN. You would have so much autonomy. You get to choose what will go out over the airwaves. Think of that.’ Rani concluded in wonderment. Ten was thinking of that and was horrified. Such responsibility. She wasn’t up to it. Rani saw her look of discomposure and backtracked a little.

‘You don’t have to decide right this minute,’ she assured her. ‘Sleep on it and come back Wednesday. Let Aldo show you the ropes.’

They headed over to the canteen, a light airy space which, at this time of day was only dotted with students.

‘Good, no crush. We’ll have our pick of the tables,’ Rani observed. Having settled themselves, she was about to enquire what Tenille thought of the station itself, when a young man, dressed most stylishly in fine wool casual pants and sweater, came up and greeted Rani with a kiss. He asked if he could join them. She indicated a chair and proceeded to introduce Fabrice Roche. He eyed Ten appraisingly.

‘You, my dear, are ravishing,’ he observed boldly, in a soft, breathy voice. Turning to Rani he asked in a conspiratorial tone: ‘Does Moira know about this one?’ Ten looked at him quite amazed.

‘Don’t pay any attention to Fabrice, Tenille. He’s just trying to stir up gossip.’ She turned to the very attractive and beautifully built male specimen and told him to behave himself. ‘Fabrice is the reason I’m a volunteer here. We met at a cocktail party hosted by mutual friends and got chatting,’ she explained.

‘You have such stunning eyes, it’s hard not to stare,’ Fabrice continued as though he’d heard nothing. Now he turned to Rani. ‘Wait ’til Serge meets her, he’ll want to paint her for sur..re. It’s all right …’ looking back to Tenille: ‘ …he doesn’t do nudes; loves faces.’ Ten speculated that whoever Serge was, he must have painted Fabrice, probably many times. His face was classical in its beauty. His hair, worn long and tied back, was a tawny, glistening mane. Altogether too handsome she observed. Women must be falling all over themselves.

‘So where did you two meet, Tenille, at The Rose? I know Rani pops in there sometimes after her stint at the station if Moira’s working late.’ He was so inquisitive for a first meeting. Ten was now used to the women. They eased themselves along step by step, more reserved: less theatrical. She was saved from reply by Rani’s sudden revelation.

‘You see, Tenille, it’s a gay world we live in, Moira and I … and of course, including this buffalo in a cafeteria.’ She gave Fabrice a mock glare.

‘Oo..ps, sorry Rani. Have I dropped hairpins?’ He tried to look contrite, but didn’t do a very good job of it. In his defence he continued: ‘I’ve never seen you spending social time talking to straights … you can’t blame me for jumping to conclusions.’ This last was on a rather petulant note.

‘It’s all right Fabrice, I don’t mind if Tenille doesn’t.’ Rani lifted an enquiring eyebrow in Ten’s direction.

‘No, no, it’s cool.’ She really didn’t know what to say. Male homosexuals were not part of her life’s experience so she was rather out of her depth. She thought she must have been staring as much at him as he was at her. Well, everything was out now, so why not jump in?

‘I know The Rose, but no, we didn’t meet there. Rani is my landlady.’ Her first admission to any stranger that she too, was gay. She hadn’t expected it to come so soon. Only four days ago at the dinner she’d been so worried about telling Moira and Rani and now here it was done. No histrionics and everyone still with their shirt on.

Fabrice smiled broadly as he turned to Rani. ‘Of course, I remember now. You were telling Serge you’d finally gotten new tenants’ This time his bold gaze rested on Ten. ‘They were so happy when you guys turned up. They’d been hoping for a couple rather than two singles. You were answers to their prayers.’ Ten looked at Rani in surprise. He went on. ‘Not only Lesbians; not only a couple; but so nice too.’ He sat back feeling very satisfied with his contribution.

‘Fabrice, that’s enough for one day,’ Rani reproved. ‘Why don’t you leave us so we can talk without any more interpositions?’ He rose from the table in one fluid movement. “He really does have a magnificent body,” Ten admired.

‘Tenille, it’s been a pleasure to make your acquaintance,’ he said gallantly, coming round to her side of the table. He took her hand in his and raised it to his lips in a farewell kiss, smiling into her eyes. ‘I hope we will meet again … soon.’ He turned to Rani and putting his hand on her shoulder leaned forward and kissed her whispering: ‘Forgive me?’ The look she returned said it all. He was not only beautiful, but also charming with it.

After his departure Rani and Ten did talk together very openly. They felt a great feeling of camaraderie and at the end of it all, when Rani asked Ten how she felt about working at the station, she impulsively said: ‘I’ll do it.’

Sid was home when they got back. She invited Rani in for a drink, but she had to go. Ten reiterated her thanks and Rani promised to set it up with Aldo, same time next week.

‘Tell me, Sweetheart, how was it?’ Sid wanted to know. She was sitting in the lowboy with Ten on her lap.

‘Before I get into that, Hon, let me tell you what happened at the end.’ Ten had wrapped her arms about Sid’s shoulders and was now playing with the short hair at the back of her neck. She described Fabrice and her encounter with him, culminating with the revelation that they were all gay.

‘Rani dismissed him, then we had this great talk. Sid, she really is a lovely person. I’m so glad we’ve met them. Next time Fabrice and Serge have a party, she’s going to take us along. They live in Don Mills.’

‘Hey Babe, we can’t just gatecrash.’ Sid didn’t want to deflate Ten’s enthusiasm, but she wasn’t so sure about getting pally with gay guys. ‘Listen, some Gays can be a bit funny with women. You need to get to know them first,’ she advised.

‘Why darling, whatever do you mean? He was really friendly with me. In fact I was quite overwhelmed.’ Ten couldn’t understand her reluctance, but then Sid hadn’t met him.

Sid placed Ten down in the chair while she went to get them a beer. On her return she pulled up a cushion and sat at Ten’s feet, resting her elbow on her knee. ‘I bet he was bowled over by you, my love.’ She picked up her hand and turning it over kissed its soft palm.

“Twice in one day,” Ten thought, “what is this?”

‘But … you are beautiful … and feminine.’ Sid returned the hand to her lap: ‘Guys can pay homage to that, but they don’t feel the same way about dykes.’

‘You’re not a dyke, darling.’

‘No? Well that’s a moot point; semantics perhaps, but I’m not femme and I certainly am butch.’ She said all this quite calmly, merely stating a truth. ‘Now I’m not saying that this Fabrice and Serge wouldn’t be nice to us, in fact I’m sure they’d love you, but for the likes of me it can be a bit more difficult.’

Ten remembered back to a time when she’d wondered about how Sid felt, being out and not trying to masquerade, perhaps now she would tell her.

‘How difficult, Honey?’ It was her turn to clasp Sid’s hand in hers.

‘If the guys are used to being around Lesbians, they take you in their stride, like buddies together. Know what I mean?’ Ten nodded. ‘Some of the older ones, those more part of the establishment, perhaps in socially sensitive jobs, well … they can feel the need to protect their image, so they’re not happy to be seen mixing with other than ultra feminine women. They’ll escort a femme as their date, or whatever, but would rather die than be seen with a butch. Consequently, we number amongst our male friends mostly ‘out’ men, the ones who are brave and don’t give a damn, ready to stand up and be counted, no matter what.’ Sid sighed, as though thinking back down some long corridor of memory.

‘Some of them are just fantastic people. So easy to love, but so hard to lose.’ She sighed again and was silent.

Tentatively Ten asked: ‘Did you know someone special like that?’ Sid looked up, her eyes glistening, small globes of tears attaching to her fair lashes like diamonds. ‘His name was Randall. When we kidded about we called him Randy, of course. He was a lovely man. He would go out of his way to help you and always had time to listen … or, he always made time.’ She smiled in recollection.

‘He was witty too. Even at the end, with his poor body ravaged by infection, he could come up with some observation which was so humorous, it would just crack us up.’ She had given Ten a glass when she brought over the drinks and kept the bottle for herself. Now she took a big swig.

‘I had another friend, Wayne. I met him through Volleyball. He got me involved in the buddy system.’ She looked at Ten again. ‘You know about that?’ She shook her head so she proceeded to elaborate.

Once the AIDS virus began taking its toll in the gay community, people rallied round to give support, especially where family lived elsewhere or didn’t want to get involved. You would take on a hospital inmate and remain with him, faithful to the end. Through thick or thin, no matter what. You were buddies.

‘I see,’ she acknowledged out loud, thinking how wonderful of people to be so dedicated.

‘Now I was never a buddy, but through Wayne, I would pop over to Huntley Street with him after Volleyball.’

‘You lost me. What’s Huntley Street?’

‘Oh sorry. Casey House. It’s a hospice where gays who are advanced, or only HIV+, go for treatment or guidance or actually reside if they can no longer cope at home. Anyway, we used to visit Randall there and I got to know him … and love him. He had come to Toronto from Kapuskasing. His family still lives up there so they couldn’t get down very often. They were quite poor too, I believe. You know how difficult it can be, making a living in northern Ontario. It was very hard on all of us when Randall died.’ She was silent for some time. Ten just waited; when she was ready she would continue.

‘That guy had so many friends. We were all there at the end. His lover read the eulogy, but broke down and couldn’t continue. Wayne took over. I tell you Ten, there wasn’t a dry eye in the parlor. We all miss him. Why is it that it’s the beautiful people who have to be taken from us? Had Randall lived he would have contributed so much to the community.’ She looked down, just staring at her hands, now falling loosely between her knees.

‘Perhaps he has contributed to your lives by his death?’ Ten ventured. Sid looked up. The tears had spilled down onto her cheeks. Ten gently brushed them away with her fingertips.

‘You know, you’re right,’ she realized then paused before continuing. ‘I got to know some really wonderful guys in that time. Another friend of Randall’s had parents who were deaf. Of course he could sign, so he was very active in the gay deaf community. When shows and skits were put on he would gladly interpret for them. He played Volleyball too, as a means of relaxation.’ She paused then gathered herself together again.

‘You see, Ten, I’ve not mixed with the cocktail crowd. They could be way out of my league.’ Sid knew she had rambled on a bit, but hoped Ten could see where she was coming from.

‘Do you ever visit with these friends now?’

Sid shook her head. ‘I’ve kinda lost touch with them. After Randy’s death, Wayne felt burned out so he didn’t take on another Buddy. It really affects you when they go. You get so close; feelings get too tangled.’ By now her voice had dropped so low the sound was only a thread. She rallied. ‘Anyway, shortly after this time I met Karen and once I was involved with her … well, I let other commitments slip.’

Ten understood. Life is full of starts and stops. Her own attested to that. ‘It’s no problem about Serge and Fabrice, Hon. It was just something Rani mentioned in passing. Why don’t you come into the kitchen while I make us supper? I can tell you about my visit to the station while you cut up the squash.’ She looked quizzically at her lover.

‘Me.’ exclaimed Sid in mock indignation. ‘I thought that was your task?’ The mood was lifting and they were happy together.

Ten’s laughter bubbled over. ‘We’re an enlightened couple, right? And I know my rights.’ She wagged her index authoritatively as she got up, no longer using her cane when moving about the apartment, and collected the empty bottle and glass on her way to the kitchen.

It was a cosy evening. Sid was pleased Ten had decided to give news-reading a go and, like her, somewhat taken aback when she realized composing the news broadcast would be stage one. ‘But you can do it Babe. You’ve got the education and the smarts,’ she reassured her. ‘Anyway, if you don’t like it, you can always leave,’ she proclaimed matter of factly.

‘You know me, Sid. If I start something, I don’t like to quit on it, unless circumstances leave me no choice. You know how it was with my dancing. I got really cut up about that.’

‘Now listen, Ten. Your dancing days are not necessarily over. I think you’re being too defeatist over this one. Look how much progress you’re making every day,’ she pointed out rationally.

‘That’s all well and good for you to say,’ she replied, somewhat argumentatively, ‘but I know what it takes to be able to pull off that fast footwork and I just won’t have it, unless I devote all my waking hours to building up the muscles and developing the skill.’ Her cheeks heated from the intensity of her feelings.

Sid said nothing in response, not wanting to make an issue. She took off next week and these last days should be harmonious. ‘OK Babe, I know it’s a sore point. How about we just wait and see?’ She drew her into her arms and gave her a long and loving kiss. Ten melted into her, as their bodies moulded together and the kiss went on and on until they were both drowning in pleasure.

It was time for Sid to get ready for bed, although too soon for Ten. While Sid dropped off, she liked to read, loving this quiet time next to her. The day’s work done and nothing left, but to relax and get sleepy with a good book. Historical biographies were a favorite, but currently she was into ‘The Well of Loneliness’, having been told by Lyndall, who had lent her the novel, that her lesbian awareness was incomplete until she’d read it. After this she was going to move her on to ‘Patience and Sarah’. Did she feel it her responsibility to take this part of her education in hand? She was getting to like Lyndall the more she knew her and was always looking forward to their interactions. An intelligent woman; the encounters were challenging and she depended heavily on her guidance. Fortunately, Lyndall was willing to give it. “Funny, when I first met her at the party, I never expected to get to know her so well,” she ruminated. A firm friendship was being forged.

*   *   *

When Ten awoke, strong shafts of light were streaming into her eyes from the gap in the new drapes where they didn’t quite meet. An imperious rain was drumming on the roof, while an insistent wind buffeted the tops of the trees. She lay still, somnolent, not yet ready to start the day, but her mind was busy with disturbing thoughts. Only three days left, then the pattern of their lives would be totally disrupted. She was trying to be brave, but was still apprehensive about being alone. Sadness engulfed her like a dense cloud. She’d not minded at Mrs Sandrelli’s, but now was different. Sid had become an integral part of her happiness.

In some way she couldn’t fathom, Sid’s love gave meaning and shape to her life. She was more capable of taking on board new endeavors; more ready to try her hand, strong in the certainty of her loving support, she would always be there to save her.

Her wonderful Sidonie. She wished though, they could wake up together. Every morning she was alone in the bed, Sid having slipped quietly away, not disturbing her. How did she do it, every day, get up at four-thirty, no matter what time she went to bed? Well, she wouldn’t have to do it after Saturday. Then she could start to live normal hours, just like regular people. Unfortunately, she still wouldn’t be waking up with her by her side. She wouldn’t even be going to sleep with her. “Get out of the doldrums,” she advised herself. It was just as well she was going to be involved in other activities – carrying on like this – Sid hadn’t even left yet.

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she felt with her toes for her slippers. After a trip to the bathroom she returned to throw on some clothes. The first hint of cold was in the air, a touch of the winter that would not be long in coming. She pulled her soft navy sweater over top of a white polo neck and on the way to the kitchen, turned on the TV. She liked its company and was in time to catch the tail end of Canada AM. The topic under discussion was the prospect of sovereignty for Quebec. People were gearing up to vote in the referendum at the end of October. Monique Simard, vice president of the Partie Quebecois and Lucien Buchard, who had been so instrumental in resurrecting interest in the idea of separating from the Confederation, were being interviewed by Vicki Gabereau. If Quebec obtained its unilateral independence, it still wanted the trade links with Canada to continue. The province would maintain its borders and control its customs, but wanted to keep the Canadian dollar and free trading privileges with Canada. While Ten made coffee and ate muesli, she listened with interest to the various points of view. She thought it would be very upsetting to see the two founding cultures diverge to such an extent. Surely the result would be the slow, but inevitable disintegration of Canada’s national identity? Its bilingualism, she couldn’t speak French herself, (but admired those of non-French background who could), was something which made the country unique. Without these special qualities Canada would be more vulnerable to cultural threats from the US of A. Already such a powerful influence over the country, she felt sure it wouldn’t take long for the American way to become the Canadian way too. A very sad eventuality in that case. As it stood, it appeared the outcome of the referendum was very much in the balance. They would all have to wait and see. As she set about the morning’s tasks, laundry today, she wondered why Quebec felt the need for independence at all? They were already so autonomous with their own newspapers, TV, sports teams, both the Montreal Expos and the Quebec Nordiques. Their religion kept them united and their language protected them from the Americans. Yet, despite all this they must still feel their identity and culture under constant threat, she surmised.

Thursday and Friday, Ten worked the afternoon shift one ’til nine She didn’t like it, but it was the best way to get back, part-time. And she appreciated Phyllis’ willingness to slot her in. Two days per week were better than no days at all. As a result, they didn’t see much of each other those days, but once Sid was at Guelph, she’d be glad of the distraction … and the money. Sid drove her to work, to save her foot, but she made her own way home. It wasn’t fair to make Sid lose sleep when she, herself, could sleep in.

After completing the daily chores around the apartment, Ten felt a little at loose ends. On impulse, she gave Devon a call. For ages now she’d been meaning to get in touch, but somehow something had always gotten in the way. Devon could take calls at the office; working for her dad had its advantages. Her phone was in the kitchen but it had a long lead, so she carried it over to the dining table and propped up her foot.

‘Armstrong, Bousquet and Issner,’ came briskly over the line. Not even a ‘good morning’. Ten guessed Devon’s day had gotten off to a bad start.

‘Devon, it’s me. How are you?’ She waited, not sure of her reception. There was silence as the realization sank in.

‘Tenille …? is that really you?’ She heard the lift in Devon’s voice.

‘I’ve been meaning to phone you. I wanted to give you my new number.’ How hollow this sounded. After all this time, was that all she could come up with?

‘Tenille. It’s lovely to hear from you. How are you? How’s the leg? Still in a cast?’ Devon was eager with her questions.

‘The leg’s coming along fine. The cast is off and I’m walking much better. How’re things with you, still dancing?’ This was what Ten most urgently wanted to know. Now she was talking to Devon again, her mind had gone straight back to her dancing days.

‘Actually … no. There was a bit of a falling out between Raoul and me so after the tour we had our parting of the ways.’ Her voice had dropped and Ten could tell she regretted this turn of events.

‘Oh Dev, what a pity. You haven’t given up altogether, have you?’ She realized that it had been very important to her, the thought that Devon was still involved; that she might – just might, get back into it, through her. Now Devon wasn’t dancing she felt let down.

‘Well … shall we say, ‘temporarily on hold’. When I got back, Belen had gone into summer recess, so I didn’t see any of the old gang. I’m sure she’s probably started up by now, but I’ve not gotten my act together. Truth to tell, I’m not sure at the moment if I want to get heavy into it again. You know how it takes over your whole life.’

‘Yes it does that if you take on performance.’ Ten agreed. ‘What about just for fun?’ She wasn’t ready to throw in the towel yet.

‘I know. But when you’ve experienced the bright lights, it’s hard to go backstage. Know what I mean?’ Ten could hear the resignation settling at the other end of the line.

‘So what have you been up to these days?’ she knew she wouldn’t be idle. Not her style.

‘Nothing much,’ came the reply which took her by surprise.

‘Hard to believe, Dev.’

‘Well, I met someone and he’s pretty much taking up all my energies. Nothing left over for independent pursuits.’

‘Ah, now I understand. A man in the picture makes all the difference.’ Ten liked this. Devon, romantically involved meant they could remain friends and her being with Sid wouldn’t be a problem.

‘Pretty serious, eh?’ she ventured, not wanting to appear to be prying , but intrigued all the same.

‘Oh Tenille, he’s the one for me. You know how I could never make up my mind? He’s changed all that.’ Devon sounded very committed. It was good to hear the excitement in her voice instead of that constant fractiousness of old. She heard some commotion in the background and guessed she would be needed.

‘Listen Dev, I’ll let you go, but give me a call when you can. Here’s my number.’ She rattled it off then continued: ‘I work evenings except Monday and Wednesday, OK? Perhaps we can get together some time?’

‘Cool,’ Devon enthused. ‘Yes, I have to go now but I’ll be back in touch. Thanks for calling.’

*   *   *

Sid got home between twelve and one, depending on the traffic, but it usually wasn’t too heavy at that time of day. Ten was lucky, if she were a little late Phyllis didn’t mind too much, understanding the value of a ride. Now Sid was getting to know the others quite well. They liked her, but she never stayed long, not wanting to be a disrupting influence.

As usual, when Sid drove up it was a bit of a scurry, collecting last minute things, so they only had time for a quick embrace, then they’d be on their way. The two would exchange news on the drive, but for some reason, Ten didn’t have time to work out, she didn’t tell Sid about her phone call. Perhaps it was just an uneasy feeling, knowing Devon was not one of her favorite people.

Sid on the other hand was full of her suspicion that the grooms, exercise riders and hot walkers at her stable were planning something she wouldn’t like, for her last day. ‘They all shut up when they see me coming.’

‘Only two more days’ of suspense, darling. Do you think you can handle it?’ Ten joked.

‘No choice,’ Sid grinned in turn. She pulled into the alleyway alongside the store where she was permitted to park for thirty minutes. They let themselves in at the side door, then proceeded to the little back room everyone used for their own purposes.

‘See you tonight, Babe. Are you sure you don’t want me to collect you?’ Sid enquired. ‘Really, I don’t mind coming down,’ she assured her.

‘No Sid, I’m good. Jocelyn’s on tonight so she’s going to drop me off at the St. Clair streetcar stop. Now don’t worry I’ll be fine.’ She checked there was no one about then planted a loving kiss on Sid’s mouth. ‘See you tonight.’ She went out to report to Phyllis. Sid followed more slowly to say, ‘Hi’ to the others.

On the return journey she conceived a plan for their last day together; no need to wait ’til she got back. It had been a long time since either of them had been to Niagara Falls and then it was to entertain out-of-town visitors. They would make a day of it. After the Falls, out to Niagara-on-the-Lake for lunch. They could take their time coming home. She would put it to her tonight.

Back in the apartment she completed the last minute packing. Not clothes this time, just a sort through of her possessions for those little things she would like to have to brighten her room. In going through the knickknacks she realized she had no photo of Tenille and there were no photos of them together. Neither of them had a camera. She got on the phone to Thea.

‘Reine here.’

‘Reine, Sid.’

‘Hi good buddy, how’re ya doin’?’

‘Good, thanks Reine. How’re you guys?’

‘Great. Listen, thanks for an excellent evening, Saturday. We really liked Moira and Rani. Did Tenille go for that radio announcing, or whatever?’

‘Yes. She’s decided to give it a try. She’s gotten to know Rani better. They came out over coffee and that sealed it.’

‘Did they now?’ Sid could hear the wide-eyed wonder in Reine’s voice. ‘Well I had my suspicions, that’s why I was a bit provocative Saturday, but they didn’t bite.’

‘By the way it’s newscasting and … she gets to write it too.’

‘True.’ This time Reine was genuinely impressed. ‘Well that sure will keep her out of mischief. When will she be on and we’ll give a listen.’ She knew Thea would be interested. Sid gave the details then went on to her request. There was no problem so she arranged to pick up the camera, just a little idiot-proof jobbie, the next day on her way back from Mississauga, or on Saturday after work. Everything taken care of, she couldn’t wait for Ten to get home. If she slept now, it would pass the time, then she could get up for a brief visit when she got in.

It was only a little after nine thirty when Ten put the key in the lock. She found a note propped against the coffee plunger. ‘Darling, please wake me when you come in. Love Ya. XOX’

Intrigued and not a little concerned, she hoped everything was all right. Coffees in hand she carried them through to the bedroom, then a gentle shake to Sid’s shoulder and the eyelids flew open.

‘Hello my love.’ She put her arms around Ten and gave her a warm, sleepy hug. Ten kissed her quickly saying: ‘I’ve brought you a drink.’ She sat up and accepted the mug, crossing her legs under her and motioning Ten to sit close.

‘You’ve got me curious,’ Ten admitted: ‘There’s no problem is there?’

‘No Babe. Nothing like that. I just got this idea and was too excited to wait, to pass it by you.’ She had all Ten’s attention and plunged on. ‘You remember we thought to do something special, Sunday?’

She nodded.

‘How would you like a trip to Niagara Falls; lunch at Niagara-on-the Lake?’ She delivered herself of this suggestion with an excited gleam in her sparkling eyes.

‘Oh darling, I’d love it. Just you and me away for the whole day.’ She put down her mug to give Sid a big, happy kiss on the mouth.

While she got herself ready for bed, they worked out the details. Sid watched Ten’s every coming and going, the love light shining luminous in her eyes. She didn’t believe she had ever been happier.

‘Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to make us a picnic lunch, Sid? Lunch out could be a bit expensive.’ Ten slipped into a short sleeved nightshirt, three-quarter length, which she liked to wear now the nights were drawing in. It featured two cuddly teddies on the front wearing their nightshirt with two teddies on it. She had untied her hair and was going through the last brushes of the day. Sid loved to watch the fluid motion of her arm as she drew the brush through the myriad strands; to see the dark tresses shimmer and flow in wave after wave of glossy motion. There was a time when she had had to imagine things like this. Now she could be a voyeur and indulge her eyes to her heart’s content. The thought caught her up abruptly – not after Sunday she couldn’t. It would be back to imagining again.

‘Can I do that for you?’ the words out before the idea had even registered.

Ten, seated on the little stool in front of the dressing table, swivelled around, a look of surprise on her face. ‘Sid, it’s late. You must get your sleep.’ What had gotten into her? But she experienced a shiver of pleasure anyway.

‘I’ve slept already. I’m not tired. Please?’

How could she hold out against those imploring, aquamarine eyes? ‘Of course, I’d be happy to have you do my hair. I was only concerned for you.’ Holding out the brush, she smiled, then turned back to face the looking glass, as Sid slid out of bed and came to stand behind her. With the brush in her right hand, she picked up Ten’s hair in her left. It was long now, having grown considerably since their first meeting. It felt heavy and fluid, slithering through her grasp until she learned the nature of it.

Beginning the rhythmical strokes, she watched Ten in the mirror, who looked back at her, watching. Eventually, overcome by the grooming, Ten’s eyelids began to droop and Sid felt her weight heavy against her thighs. How she loved this; would remember it for the rest of her life. One of those infinitely beautiful encounters; Ten, so totally relaxed, totally trusting, her mind and body given over completely to her ministrations, all control relinquished to her hands. Savoring this hallowed moment, she continued to lift, stroke and let fall, this torrent of waves. At last, putting down the brush, she swept her arms around the relaxed body.

‘Come to bed, Love. Come and sleep in my arms. Rest your head on my shoulder.’

With great care she lifted Ten to her feet then carried her to the bed, so close to sleep already. She laid her down under the covers, then slipped in from the other side, turning off the bedside lamp. She took her in her arms and at the touch of their bodies, Ten snuggled in closer and murmured dreamily: ‘I love you.’

Sid did not drop off, but stayed awake, listening to Ten’s slow breathing, feeling the flutter across her cheek of each breath. Yes, she would take all these memories away with her and when she was once again alone in her bed, would relive this tender, precious interlude. Eventually her body too, had to give itself up to sleep. She’d wanted for this time never to end; to preserve indelibly, every precious second in her brain, but she couldn’t hold on. Suddenly, her heart, swelling with so much love was gripped in agony. Her mind had become swamped with the pain of the loss to come. But it was her destiny to work with animals; her life-long ambition; this could not be denied. The thought came swiftly; she would live for the weekends, when they would be together.

Another fear intruded into her consciousness bringing a momentary spasm, making her tense. Did Tenille have the endurance, the patience to wait? Could she understand how much all this meant to her? Better stop this before she spun crazily out of control, then Ten would be right and she wouldn’t have enough sleep for tomorrow. She looked at the illuminated dial. No today. This was her last thought, her arms still wrapped around Ten, their legs entwined.