As I’m heading to class, Easton calls. Yikes. I’m not prepared for this. Maybe he’s calling to apologize about the rodeo. Or maybe he’s not sorry that he left without acknowledging me. Maybe he’s mad that I showed up in the first place. Or maybe Tracy was lying. Either way, I want to know. But I might end up in tears, and I don’t want to miss more school due to emotional instability. Avoid? It’s going to go to voicemail if I don’t decide quick. Just do it, Della. Like a bandage. Find out where you stand. “Hi.”
“Hi. You were at the Madera rodeo?”
“Uh, yes. Sorry if I was a distraction. I hope that’s not why you fell off and got injured. I should have called you to ask if you wanted me there.”
“I did want you there. I didn’t know you were there.”
“Oh. Tracy said you did. Did she lie?”
“Not exactly. I’m so sorry. It’s my fault. I told her you were there, even though I thought you weren’t, because I didn’t want her to think we weren’t together. But then you really were there, which I only just found out, and she said you were crying because you thought I bailed without talking to you. If I had known you were there I would have stayed. You know that, right?”
“Yes. Maybe. I thought I did.” I massage my temple with the heel of my hand. “Lately, I’m confused about everything.”
With unwavering certainty, he says, “I love you, Della. Don’t ever doubt that. And I will try to see you every chance I get, if you want me to.”
“Really?” I abruptly stop walking, and the guy behind me has to quickly side-step to avoid bowling me over. Okay. Wait. What? I literally stuck a sticky note on my mirror that has It’s never going to happen. Give it up, Della written on it to condition my feelings to turn off. Now my brain is jammed up with the mixed messages, and my heart is trying to hammer through my chest. “So, would you be open to trying to date long-distance to see how it goes?”
“That’s what I want. I just can’t promise anything until I find out what’s going to happen with the ranch. Can we sit down and talk about everything after my meeting at the bank on Friday?”
I lean against a tree, hugging myself with one arm to contain the excitement inside. “I’d like that. Very much.”
“I wish I could drive out to see you right now, but it will have to wait until after Friday. Pray for a miracle before then. We need all the help we can get.”
“Um, speaking of help. I did something without asking you first that I assumed would be helpful, but after I did it I started to worry that my brilliant idea will mean more work for you. I didn’t consider whether it was really the help you needed or the help I assumed you needed. It’s too late to cancel the surprise now, though.” My eyebrows crease together as I slide down the trunk of the tree and sit on the grass. “He’s probably almost already there.”
“Chuck?”
“Yeah.” I wince. “Sorry. He’s probably a nightmare to supervise. I hope he doesn’t end up causing more problems.”
“He won’t. He knows his way around a ranch. It was a good idea. And I can definitely use the extra set of hands. Not that getting the work done will matter if the bank forces us to forfeit on Friday.”
“How much is still owing?”
“More than what you have in your savings account, so don’t get any bright ideas.”
Hmm. Uh oh. I stand and start walking again. “So, I wish I could talk longer, but I need to get to class since my grades took a tiny slip. One more thing before I go.” My eyes dart around as if I’m avoiding eye contact, even though he can’t see me. “I kind of did one more thing without running it by you first. It’s already done, so there’s nothing either one of us can do about it now.”
“What?”
“I transferred seventy-five thousand dollars to your account. I love you. Bye.”
Oh my goodness. Shoot. My heart is pounding in my throat from hanging up on him. He’s going to be so mad that I used all my savings to help him out. It’s the right thing to do, though. He’s too proud and stubborn to accept the money any other way. Hopefully he doesn’t hate me. Yulia worried it might make him feel like he can’t support his family, but I don’t look at it that way. Her other concern about how I was going to pay my own bills made more sense, but it’s only a loan. I know he’ll pay me back, whether I ask him to or not, he will pay back every cent. Probably with interest. I know he’d insist on helping me if the roles were reversed. It’s the right thing to do, whether he agrees or not. Fingers crossed that my loan and Chuck’s dad’s loan are enough.
I rush to class and sit down in my lecture hall, out of breath, then turn to the guy sitting next to me. “Would you feel emasculated if I gave you a seventy-five thousand dollar loan to save you from losing your property?”
His eyes narrow, debating whether I’m insane. “No?” he says with a cautious tone as if he’s attempting to gauge which answer I was hoping to hear.
“You’d feel grateful, right?”
He nods with uncertainty. “Sure.”
Forget it. It was the right thing to do, no matter what anyone else thinks. I care what Easton thinks, though. Please be man enough to not feel threatened by what I did. If he has too much pride to accept it, I’ll just have to convince him it takes courage to ask for and receive help.
What if it isn’t enough to pay off the entire debt? They’ll still lose the ranch and he’ll resent me for my unsuccessful attempt to bail him out. Grr. Did I make a mistake? Maybe. But really, do I want to be with someone who can’t accept my support? That’s what a relationship is, right? Give and take. I’m strong when you need me and you’re strong when I need you. Fingers crossed on both hands that I didn’t screw things up immediately after they got unscrewed.
I might as well not have gone to class. I didn’t pay attention to one word the instructor said. Everyone else took at least four pages of notes. I doodled a picture of Easton shirtless and swinging a sledgehammer. Oh well. I wonder if they need any baristas in Three Rivers. Or, I could make sandwiches at the racist Russian’s deli. But I’m only allowed in the country because I have a student Visa. Gonna have to at least go to community college to keep that. So complicated. While I go over my back-up options for when I flunk out of engineering, I pack up my bag and file out of the lecture hall behind my classmates. Maybe I should call Easton back and apologize for dropping the news and hanging up on him. That was rude. But necessary. Or, on second thought, it might be better to give him time to get used to the idea.
“Della!” Janine waves from the steps of a building across the street, then jogs over to me.
“Hi. You look happy,” I say as I hug her.
“Ecstatic actually. I just found out that I got chosen for a residency in New York. I’ve always wanted to live there. I thought it would be a long shot, but I got the acceptance letter today.” She unfolds the official letter and shows it to me.
“That’s fantastic. I’m so happy for you. When do you leave?”
“At the end of the month.” She nods knowingly as if she can read my thoughts, but she doesn’t mention Chuck, so I don’t either. “I need to challenge one course before I go.”
“What does that mean?”
“The New York program wants me to have a specific stats course. I already took a similar stats class in second year and don’t want to re-take it. I requested to challenge the one New York recognizes as a prerequisite. All I need to do is take the final and prove that I know the content. Then I get the credit.”
“Really? Can anyone in any department do that?”
“I think so. You just need to make a request.”
Interesting. “How would I go about doing that?”
She digs through her purse and hands me a pamphlet. “This is the information they gave me at admissions. Ask for Sarah. She was really helpful.”
“Thanks.” I feel giddy.
“No problem. Where are you headed?”
“Green library.”
“I’ll walk with you. I have to go that way, too. How is BJ, by the way?” We start to walk in sync. “I heard he got expelled.”
“He called to tell me he made it home safely. His mom and sisters are excited to have him there, and he’s going to be able to transfer most of his credits and finish his MBA at the University of Houston.”
“That’s great. How’s Easton?”
I shrug and take a sip from my water bottle. “We’ll know for sure on Friday if they’re going to lose the ranch or not. He’s pretty stressed.”
“That sucks. If I had anything to lend him, I would. Hopefully it works out.” She glances at me as we cross the courtyard. “I know you’re dying to ask me whether you should tell Chuck that I’m moving away.”
“I am. I didn’t want to bring it up if you didn’t want to talk about it. I’d prefer not to be the person who tells him, but I will if you think that’s best. If you don’t want him to know, I won’t say anything. Fair warning, though, I’m horrible at keeping secrets. There’s a high probability it will blurt out of my mouth without my consent at some inopportune moment.”
She digs through her bag again and pulls out a granola bar. She offers the bar to me. “Bite?”
“I’m okay thanks.”
She breaks off a chunk of granola and pops it in her mouth. Eventually she says, “I’ll tell Chuck about New York. We dated for three years. He deserves a proper goodbye.”
I nod and honestly feel sad for him. He has worked really hard to complete every assignment I’ve given him. And even though I still think the way he treated Janine can never be erased, he has changed. And the New York news is going to gut him. Hopefully it doesn’t make him regress back to who he used to be. He’s come so far.
When we arrive at the library she points to the building across the street. “My next class is over there.”
“We should go out for dinner to celebrate your residency. Are you free Thursday?” I ask.
“Yeah. That would be great. I’ll pick you up at the house at seven and then that will give me a chance to talk to Chuck when I drop you off.” She exhales sharply. “That’s going to be a fun conversation. I might chicken out. If I do, I’ll write him a letter.”
“Whatever works. Don’t torture yourself over it.”
“See you Thursday.” She hugs me and then rushes away.
My phone buzzes with a text. It’s from Easton: Thank you for the loan. I love you.
So grateful that he has decided to accept it, I hug my phone to my chest and literally skip up the library steps. People are staring at me funny. I don’t care.