CHAPTER 15

Nobilize Honoring

No amount of ability is of the slightest avail without honor.

—ANDREW CARNEGIE

Two things I remember about my very first suit. It was a powder blue suit—perfect for Easter Sunday church dress-up. And the whole experience was a “big boy” event. I was seven years old. Joseph N. Neel’s menswear in Macon, Georgia, was a two-hour drive from my rural hometown, and we visited only every August to buy school clothes. But this purchase required a special spring journey.

The “big boy” event started with the salesperson pulling up a chair in front of me at my eye level. He shook my hand and introduced himself by his first name, not “Mr.” Without a single glance at my dad, he asked me about my favorite color. And my second favorite color. He asked me about my hobbies and wanted to know my best friend’s name. We were pals in a matter of minutes. I walked out of the store very tall with a suit in my favorite color, a white dress shirt, a pair of shoes, and a tie in my second favorite color. Did I mention that I was seven?

Cherish Innovation through Honoring

Co-creation partnerships live and work in the playpen of ideas. Their “what ifs” can provoke wild and wacky silliness. The “partially baked” dimensions of input in this kitchen of kooky can leave its chef vulnerable to criticism or, at a minimum, skepticism. Its welcoming walls should be a host to the thin-skinned as well as the “tough guys.” It should be an arena where the referee comes in late. It means a setting that evidences respect. And honoring is an action verb in the realm of respect.

Customers adore service connections with respect. Respectful service—experiences filled with admiration—starts and ends with a devotion to customers. It is affirmation laced with authenticity and awe. It is like a random act of kindness, only respectful service is not random; it is perpetual. When the R&D group at pioneering company Medtronic is stumped on a medical device innovation, they invite in patients who have had success with previous Medtronic products to talk about their experiences. Medtronic leaders claim the mutual-admiration meeting has contributed to many breakthroughs. It emanates from the company’s mission: “We collaborate with others to take on healthcare’s greatest challenges.” They live it in the lab, not just in the marketplace.

Victoria’s Secret Catalog (VSC) was a fun client of mine a number of years ago. Under the brilliant leadership of then CEO Cindy Fields, the company’s revenue grew from $50 million to $800 million. It was also a time the company elevated its emphasis on the customers’ experiences with their call center, not just the merchandise customers purchased.

One component of their “voice of the customer” initiative was to hold focus-group sessions with a group of customers who were chosen because they had recently bought and/ or returned VSC merchandise. The first focus group was attended by all the senior leadership, including Cindy. At the end of the session, customers were given a gift, and while they got a tour of the facility in Columbus, Ohio, the executives who watched the focus group worked on ways to translate insights gained into actions or, in some cases, a wakeup call to get more intelligence. It was the kick-off of an initiative that enfolded customers into the internal operations of the company.

The highlight of the first focus-group session was inviting the customers at the end of their tour to have lunch in the employee cafeteria. Prior to their arrival, the word was quickly passed that a group of customers was coming to the cafeteria. As the customers entered the large cafeteria, the entire room erupted in a lengthy standing ovation. It was powerful, and it was affirming! In the words of one employee in the room, “This makes my challenging work worth it.” And in the words of one of the customers in the room, “I have never felt more respected in my whole life. I don’t want this relationship to ever be over.”

What was special about this working celebration? It was egalitarian. The CEO was at the same level as the customers and her employees. In fact, instead of having me lead the session, she asked me to teach the director of creative (the woman in charge of their famous catalog) to lead the focus-group meeting so everyone could learn how to replicate this experience. Customers were not treated as visitors but as an integral part of VSC’s regular business operation, their feedback valued and their ideas cherished. And they created a way for their contribution to be honored in a profound and awe-inspiring manner.

Think of a respectful approach as “grandmother-style service.” Grandmothers spoil you just because they get a kick out of it—remembering your favorite everything, always giving you a little bit extra, and cheering you up when others chastise. Grandmothers believe you are still terrific even after your parents grounded you. Delivering respect is the service equivalent of being your customers’ grandmas.

Make Honoring Nonjudgmental

For several years, I served on the faculty of Marriott’s Executive Education Program—a weeklong residential learning experience for high-potential general and regional managers held quarterly at the Wye River Conference Center on the eastern shore of Maryland. It was a historical setting for learning about partnership since it was the site where President Bill Clinton facilitated a peace agreement between Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu and the PLO’s Yasser Arafat.

Marriott had just acquired hotel properties from Whitbread Hotels, a UK hospitality company. The cultural personalities of Whitbread and Marriott could not have been more different. That reality surfaced loudly during an animated discussion in the morning class. The Whitbread GM aimed a sarcastic, biting tease point blank at a Marriott GM. The entire class went silent for an uncomfortably long time. You could see the Whitbread GM was confused at the reaction to his comment, one wholly appropriate in the more acerbic British culture in which he lived and worked.

At the first break, three Marriott GMs pulled the Whitbread GM aside. I could hear bits and pieces of their assertive conversation. Bottom line, the message was clear—we do not speak to one another in a way that is judgmental or sarcastic. The Marriott culture is laced with allegiance to kindness, supportiveness, and authenticity. They take seriously Edwards Deming’s profound wisdom to drive fear out of the workplace.

Partnerships in the era of innovation and settings of imagination treat fear as a significant detriment to ingenuity. Fear shackles risk-taking; judgment bridles experimentation. Never forget you are dealing with your customer’s imagination—a part of their anatomy that has likely been bullied by its fraternal twin on the other side of the brain. You need to be its champion and advocate. More importantly, you need to serve as its friendly shepherd, clearing the way for safe transport to your customer’s challenges and aspirations in search of resolution, solution, and creation.

Co-creation partnerships are free-idea zones because they are neighborhoods of acceptance and goodness.

Make Honoring Egalitarian

My wife and I were having lunch with friends at one of the three restaurants at the renowned Culinary Institute of America (CIA) in Hyde Park, New York. The CIA is the training ground for the world’s most celebrated chefs. One of our party of four ordered lamb chops. The waitress (who was graduating the next day to become the sous chef at the Four Seasons Hotel in Philadelphia) advised her, “The chef recommends this entree be prepared medium rare. But do you have a different opinion?”

I was deeply struck by the comment’s elevation of the customer to equal footing with a chef who was, in fact, a professor of chefs. It was mixed with sincere respect. It was a moment we all talked about throughout the meal. And it caused me to realize the delicious spirituality of partnerships and their power to invite commitment, compassion, and boldness. Partnerships at their best are not about contracts, control, and compromises; they are about respectful connections that enliven, ennoble, and enchant. They are never static or set; rather, they are always evergreen and growing.

“Egalitarian” is a fifty-nine-cent word that means placing a priority on equality. It is the foundation of our “all are created equal” democracy. It is the guiding principle of commerce at its finest—equal value fairly exchanged. And it is the foundation of a partnership and all relationships that last.

Co-creation partnerships are egalitarian and are also populated by people with a bias for mutual advocacy. A prepared–frozen meal company, having recently been acquired by a large multinational corporation, needed to prove to their new owners they could become cutting edge. As they assessed opportunities for efficiency improvements, they discovered a major concern—their packaging line was a single line requiring twenty employees to pack boxes. With high labor costs and high turnover, the VP of engineering needed a partner with deep expertise in packaging to collaboratively design an automated process. They selected Westrock.

The partnership started with a clear focus, the right players, a budget, and a detailed, aligned work plan and agreements. The multi-week process involved senior leaders, engineers, designers, technical specialists, and machinists from both companies. Spirits were high as all were passionately involved in cracking the code to solve this unique challenge. When the new packing lines and box design were rolled out, high fives abounded as they celebrated the deep, trusting relationship they had forged. They had become extensions of each other’s teams and began planning more projects together.

Co-creation partnerships are laser focused on “keeping the junk out of the juice,” as a senior leader at Ultimate Software once told me. Partnerships with juice are those with vitality and forward zeal to accomplish a mission or goal. Partnerships with honor nurture the partnership’s longevity with the meticulousness of a bonsai caretaker. And they celebrate its soul through faithful attention and everyday goodness.

Sursy Your Partner

I just found this new word. And it has nothing to do with square dancing! “Sursy”! Now, before you go look it up, let me give you a small clue. It is the physical version of a random act of kindness. It can turn even the dourest countenance into a jovial wide-angle beam.

My wife and I rented a rustic cabin in Maggie Valley, North Carolina, while visiting a close friend in the hospital nearby. Arriving at streamside cabin number 3 at Twin Brook Resorts, we unpacked the car. When the ice chest got its turn, we encountered a sursy! Sitting in the refrigerator was a fresh sock-it-to-me cake with a cheery note on top. “We know you have been traveling and thought this would come in handy.” It was signed by the owners—Lyndon and Greg. We were thrilled!

So, now you know. A sursy is an unexpected gift. It is tangible evidence of generosity unassociated with an event that usually warrants a gift—like a birthday or a gift-giving holiday. It is an old Southern word, but even some forever, dyed-in-the-wool Southerners have never heard of it. Regardless of the moniker, it should be an ever-present resident in the manner we partner with customers. The spontaneous component mimics that same element that makes innovation effective.

Giving a “sursy” is a lot like “dating” your customer. Remember what it was like to be new in a special love relationship. You were always looking for acts of magnanimity to remind the love of your life of his or her importance to you. You never took that person for granted. You celebrated small moments and you bestowed sursies upon this person—even without knowing that word. What if your customers received similar treatment? Start thinking about what sursy you might want to select for your customer! It will show you care; it will honor their contribution.

A sursy is a form of gratitude. When your passion invites your customer’s imagination to come out to co-create, it is a two-way street. It is also your customer inviting you in. It is like a friend who says, “Next time, I’m buying.” It is the epitome of co-laboring. That invitation to your customer’s imagination neighborhood warrants an expression of gratitude. You don’t have to bring wine, but it is important to say “thank you” in some form. “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues,” wrote Cicero, “but the parent of all others.”

Nobilize Honoring: The Partnering Crib Notes

Use “sir” and “ma’am” to people you do not normally address in that manner. Thank someone who never gets expressions of gratitude—the custodian in the bathroom, the cashier in the checkout line, the invisible and taken-for-granted maintenance people. Be a proactive guardian of your customers’ dignity. Respectful service entails an extra helping of help, an enduring act of benevolence, and a sincere interest in making a difference in the welfare of those around you. Give for the sheer joy of giving. A thing is bigger for being shared. Be famous for your generosity; be even more renowned for your gratitude.

Honoring is the communication of respect. It comes in countless forms. We honor with ceremony, ritual, and eloquent elocution. Awards, plaques, and decorations publicize our expressions. But respect is about the manner in which a person is treated that telegraphs valuing and admiration. In the words of Eliza Doolittle in the hit musical My Fair Lady, “The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.”¹

Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.

—W. F. HEGEL