March. Not quite winter, not quite spring.
A studio apartment on the Upper West Side. A pull-out sofa (which is pulled out), a full air mattress, which has been inflated, and a twin air mattress, which has not been set-up. Guests are coming, preparations have been made.
JONAH, in boxers, black socks and a button down, sits cross legged, playing a video game. His suit jacket and pants are balled up somewhere in the room.
After a Moment, he hits pause. Beat. Then he stands up and presses his forehead against the window, which looks out on the Hudson River.
The bathroom door opens, which sends JONAH back to his video game. DAPHNA FEYGENBAUM emerges from the bathroom in pajamas.
DAPHNA
I’m sorry but I still, I mean— you can see the Hudson River! From the bathroom! This apartment …
Really, Jonah? Boxers and black socks? Is that supposed to do it for me?
Let me— I would never want you to do it for me, you’re my cousin and, gross. Just, like, if you’re at all interested in people of the opposite sex who are not your cousins?
She gestures at his current get-up.
Don’t.
Where’s your suit—
I love that your Mom got you a new suit for Poppy’s funeral before he even died.
JONAH
He was sick a long time.
DAPHNA
Mmm, not really, actually. But still, like, in your Mom’s checklist of shit to get done while he was dying it was like, don’t forget, Jonah’s gonna need a new suit for when it happens. It’s great.
Give me your shirt. I’ll hang it up, you can wear it tomorrow it’s not dirty give it to—
JONAH
No. I want to wear it.
DAPHNA
Suit yourself.
DAPHNA watches JONAH playing video games. He senses her watching him.
JONAH
What?
DAPHNA
Nothing.
She can’t help herself.
It’s just, like, in so many cultures, like, I know so many guys AND girls your age who’ve been fighting for years. Gilad’s been in the army five years and he’s just two years older than you, but here you are, not a care in the world, in your boxers, in an apartment your parents bought you! I still can’t get over the fact your parents bought you and Liam this apartment.
JONAH
It’s just a studio.
DAPHNA
It’s just a studio he says. Do you see the view? Have you seen the view from the bathroom? That’s the Hudson River.
JONAH
I know.
DAPHNA
An apartment with a view like that, studio or no studio, on Riverside Drive, on 84th Street, I can’t even imagine what it cost.
JONAH
It wasn’t too bad.
DAPHNA
What’s not too bad, like a million dollars?
JONAH
I don’t know.
DAPHNA
Holy shit. So what, they were just like, here boys, have an apartment, mwah!?
JONAH
No, but Mom turned Liam’s room into an office, so—
DAPHNA
Yeah that’ll happen—
JONAH
So we only had my bedroom for guests or if Liam came home or, you know, there was a while they thought Poppy might move in—
DAPHNA
Are you kidding? Poppy was never moving in here—
JONAH
They didn’t know for sure—
DAPHNA
Never. He was never moving in, that was never happening. Never.
JONAH
Ok but—
DAPHNA
My parents wanted him to move in with them but he said he would never do that, he was so insistent he didn’t want to be a burden on—
JONAH
Ok! But they weren’t sure and—
DAPHNA
No, they knew—
JONAH
then this apartment was for sale and it’s in the building, it’s on their floor, so they got it. I don’t see what the big deal is?
DAPHNA
Must be nice, that’s all I’m saying.
JONAH
You’re staying here.
DAPHNA
Right …
JONAH
So I guess it’s good they bought it.
DAPHNA
Um, in normal families, Jonah, if people need a place to sleep, they like sleep on the couch, or double up in beds, or even— and this will really shock you— sleep in sleeping bags. They don’t buy a spare apartment on the off-chance someone might need to spend the night.
JONAH
Whatever. Real estate is a good investment, plus I might maybe live here when I graduate, so it’s not a big deal.
DAPHNA
Yeah, no, totally, totally, no biggie.
JONAH
Um … you’re not poor.
DAPHNA
Compared to your family? We’re like the Joads.
JONAH
I don’t know who that is.
DAPHNA
You don’t need to. Your parents buy you spare apartments.
JONAH
All I’m saying is, you’re not poor.
DAPHNA
Are you out of your— The reason I’m an only child, Jonah, is because my parents couldn’t afford another.
JONAH
So maybe they were poorer once, but they’re not now—
DAPHNA
My parents are public school teachers. Do you even know the first thing about economics in this country? We are the middle class. The dictionary definition. Your Mom hasn’t worked since she had Liam TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AGO because you’re so rich she didn’t have to.
JONAH
That’s not true.
DAPHNA
Oh right, my bad, she has a home office now, so she can do what exactly?
JONAH
She’s a consultant.
DAPHNA
Right. On what?
JONAH
I don’t know. Ask her.
DAPHNA
Usually, people hire consultants because they’re experts in their fields. In what field does Fanny Feygenbaum profess to be an expert?
JONAH
You know that’s not her name.
DAPHNA
It’s the name she was born with.
JONAH
But you know that’s—
DAPHNA
It’s what Poppy called her.
JONAH
You’re not Poppy!
A really intense beat. Somehow JONAH has hurt DAPHNA, though he’s not sure how.
JONAH
I’m sorry. I didn’t—
DAPHNA
No, it’s— I’m just being … Sorry. Totally not your … Today was just like, intensely … intense.
JONAH
Yeah.
DAPHNA
JONAH
Yeah.
DAPHNA
Yeah.
Beat. DAPHNA gets up and tousles JONAH’s hair. She gets a tissue, he turns off his video game, goes to the unmade bed and starts to make it up.
DAPHNA
What are you doing?
JONAH
Making up the bed?
DAPHNA
Liam can make up his own bed.
JONAH
Oh, no but, I was gonna sleep here.
DAPHNA
Uhh why?
Oh, right, I forgot: your parents worship him! So we should totally switch beds, that makes sense. I mean, who cares that we’ve been here for two days dealing with everything when Liam couldn’t even be bothered to show up to his own grandfather’s funeral.
JONAH
He’s getting in tonight.
DAPHNA
The funeral was today. Not tonight. It happened. It’s over. And he missed it. And I’m sorry, but between you and me, that is so fucked up.
JONAH
It’s not his fault, he—
DAPHNA
Jonah, I literally, if I have to hear one more time about Liam dropping his iPhone off a ski lift and not having service for two days, I will literally— He knew Poppy was dying. He should have been checking in. I’m sorry, but he was with— what’s her name?
JONAH
Melody.
DAPHNA
Melody. He could have used Melody’s phone? If that had been me, if I had gone skiing for spring break despite knowing full well that my grandfather was basically on death’s door, which, I would NEVER have done, but if that had been me—
JONAH
Poppy wanted him to go—
DAPHNA
If that had been me, I would have been calling home, every day, three times a day, at least, to check in and see and— and at the very least, I would have told my Mom where I was going in case of an emergency, which, the pending death of the most important person in your family is like the reason the word emergency was even invented in the first place. The idea that Liam just like flies off to Aspen with Melody and his like $1200 snowboard when his grandfather is dying and drops his phone off a ski lift which is in and of itself a beautiful metaphor for what money means to him—
JONAH
But I don’t mind sleeping on the—
DAPHNA
No Jonah! No. He’ll take the twin. He’ll make some snide— but he’ll take the— because I actually literally can’t take the twin air mattress even if I wanted to because with my back, I actually have to have the extra room— but when he starts making a mockery of shiva my blood is just gonna boil—
JONAH
He’s not going to mock anyth—
DAPHNA
Yes he will! He mocks us any chance he gets. Always has.
JONAH
What are you talking about?
DAPHNA
What am I talking about? Ok. Example. Example? Example. Two years ago at Passover, when he randomly came home, which was totally random and weird, with his last girlfriend, what’s her face—
JONAH
Miyushi.
DAPHNA
Miyushi, right, his Peace Corps whore. God she was atrocious. But so my Dad was reading a passage in Hebrew, which god forbid one does at Passover, and I look up and he’s giving Miyushi this look across the table—
JONAH
What look?
DAPHNA
This look, like, this would be over by now if Jewy McJewerson would shut the fuck up. This look like, “I’m above all this,” like, “you and I are on this spiritual enlightenment plane way above everyone else—”
JONAH
Come on!
DAPHNA
I’m serious. This look he gave her, I’ll never forget it, it stayed with me so strong, and then after seder, our parents had all gone to bed, we were watching TV and Liam was like, “I’m hungry,” even though we’d just had this enormous meal and he went into the kitchen and found these shortbread cookies and even Miyushi was like, “I thought you weren’t supposed to eat that on Passover,” but Liam just smiled, popped a cookie in his mouth and was like, “I’m a bad Jew,” then turned to me even though he knew I was keeping Passover, handed me the bag and goes, “Want one?”
“I’m a bad Jew.”
JONAH
Not everyone cares about it the way you do.
DAPHNA
I’m not asking everyone to! I don’t— I’m not even saying, I’m just saying, I don’t understand why he has to take so much pride in how totally disdainful he is of—
JONAH
DAPHNA
He is, Jonah! He is. If you choose not to see it, that’s your choice, but the fact remains he looks down on me and looks down on my family—
JONAH
(On “and looks down.”)
He does not look down on you! Or your family!
DAPHNA
For being what he is but doesn’t want to be and for not hating it. He looks down on us. You know what, let’s just drop it. Ok? Let’s just. Whatever. Let’s just drop it.
Long pause.
Whatever.
Long pause.
It’s not even worth it.
Long pause.
It’s just the reason I bring it up at all is, well, there is a reason, and I hate that I even need to do this but I know if I don’t say something it’ll just be, whatever, so there’s something I want to ask you. Ok?
Ok?
JONAH
O … k …
DAPHNA
Poppy’s chai.
I want it.
It’s the only thing of his I want. Everything else, count me out, but Poppy’s chai is like …
And I’m the only one who that stuff even matters to. You said so yourself, it doesn’t matter to everyone like it matters to me so it makes sense that the person who religion like actually really means something to should get the most religious, I mean, I’m moving to Israel when I graduate? I want to join the army— there are all these weird immigration regulations but in the fall, I’m starting my rabbinical coursework with— did I tell you this? There’s this amazing rabbi who does pre-rabbinical coursework in Haifa? For women? And she’s vegan, and like— I know, a chai is typically worn by, men usually wear them but technically it’s a piece of jewelry. I mean, a medallion on a chain? That’s jewelry, and I’m the only one who wears— this is important to me, Jonah. I wouldn’t be saying something if it wasn’t, you know? And so, like, what do you think?
JONAH
I don’t, I mean … it’s not really up to me.
DAPHNA
It’s not up to you, but when my Mom talked to your Mom she was like the kids should work it out, because apparently as it turns out Poppy’s will is like basically useless which I don’t blame him for, at all, but like, no one actually realized that someone would have to actually figure this stuff out at some point but it’s like that point is now here, and, but, so, like …
JONAH
I really don’t want to be involved in—
DAPHNA
You’re one of Poppy’s grandchildren, you’re involved.
JONAH
I don’t know.
DAPHNA
You have to know—
JONAH
No. I don’t want it, so just … That’s it.
DAPHNA
You don’t?
JONAH
No.
DAPHNA
So then it’s cool with you for me to—
JONAH
I really don’t want to be involved in this—
DAPHNA
JONAH
What about him?
DAPHNA
Do you think he’ll agree with us, or, like, do you think like, he like, wants it?
JONAH
I said I don’t—
DAPHNA
Has he said anything to you, or your Mom, or—
JONAH
You asked me how I felt, I said I don’t want it, so … that’s it.
DAPHNA
Ok. Then I’ll talk to Liam about it. But— ok.
Beat
It is so good to see you! Even under these circumstances, it’s still like— you should visit me. Before graduation.
JONAH
What?
DAPHNA
Cause that’s just gonna be a clusterfuck. But you should come down some weekend. It’d be fun, don’t you think?
JONAH
… Yeah.
DAPHNA
Do you have a car? At school?
JONAH
I did, but then … not anymore.
DAPHNA
There’s a bus. I know there is because some of my friends took it last fall to see Ben Harper maybe, or someone who is definitely not worth getting on a bus and driving four hours to see, but he was playing at your school that weekend and they took a bus, so you should come visit me.
JONAH
Ok.
DAPHNA
What weekend are you thinking?
JONAH
Um …
DAPHNA
Cause graduation’s the last weekend of April, and the weekend before that is senior week— don’t ask, and the weekend before that I’ll be studying for finals but so maybe the weekend before that, which is in, like, two weeks. Weird. Would that work?
JONAH
Maybe.
DAPHNA
Ok, well, um, do you want to check?
JONAH
Yeah.
DAPHNA
And you’ll let me know …
JONAH
Yeah.
DAPHNA
Cause I think you would really, really love Vassar, and I want to talk to you about that some more actually, because I know UVM has not been … which really says more about that school than anything about you. I mean that.
JONAH
… Thanks?
DAPHNA
But the onus is on us now, you know? If we want to maintain these relationships, we’re adults, so it’s not like if our parents make plans then I’ll see you, cause, Poppy’s dead, so our parents are gonna start transitioning into being the next generation of our family and we’ll be like the parents, you know, like if Gilad and I get married next summer which we’ve been talking about then we’ll have kids in five, six years tops which is why we need to start acting like, like taking responsibility which is why I don’t even know if he wants it but if he does, like, you know, that conversation, if it winds up being a conversation it needs to happen at the right— it needs to happen properly, so if Liam brings it up before I’m— which I don’t even know if he will, but if he does, can you just help me just quash that conversation?
JONAH
Uhm …
DAPHNA
Cause as long as that conversation happens in the right way, it won’t even be an issue.
JONAH
Ok.
DAPHNA
Ok what?
JONAH
I don’t know.
DAPHNA
So are you gonna visit me, or …
JONAH
Yeah, I just have to check.
DAPHNA
What do you have to check?
JONAH
My schedule and stuff.
DAPHNA
Um, ok, well do you wanna do that?
JONAH
Like now?
DAPHNA
Like yeah?
JONAH
Oh well I’ll check when I’m back at school. My syllabuses are there. And stuff …
DAPHNA
Aren’t those all online? All of my syllabi are online.
JONAH
DAPHNA
Ok, so … I mean, if you don’t wanna come you don’t have to, there’s no pressure, I just thought—
JONAH
No, yeah, it would be—
DAPHNA
If you don’t want to come you don’t have to.
JONAH
No I do I just have to check.
Without words, DAPHNA says, “Then check!” JONAH opens his laptop and begins surfing the internet, sort of hoping that before he can find his syllabi, a meteor lands in the apartment, which is sort of what happens when there’s a knock at the door. LIAM and MELODY have come down the hallway, wheeled suitcases behind them, LIAM’s $1200 snowboard tucked under his arm. DAPHNA gives JONAH a “here we go” look, then opens the door.
DAPHNA
Hi.
LIAM
Hey.
LIAM gives DAPHNA the most tepid hug imaginable.
LIAM
Melody, this is my cousin, Diana.
DAPHNA
It’s Daphna.
LIAM
And you remember—
DAPHNA
You know that. He knows that.
LIAM
Jonah, maybe you could get off your laptop?
JONAH
I’m just checking something.
LIAM
Maybe you could just check something later and say hello?
MELODY
Hi Jonah.
JONAH
Hey.
DAPHNA
He’s checking to see when he’s—
LIAM
Why aren’t you wearing pants?
Embarrassed, JONAH finds pants.
DAPHNA
free to come visit me—
JONAH
We were just getting—
LIAM
Visit you?
DAPHNA
At Vassar.
LIAM
For what?
DAPHNA
For fun.
LIAM
What?
MELODY
This apartment is so nice!
DAPHNA
Who are you again? Sorry, just—
MELODY
Melody.
DAPHNA
Melody. Like a song.
DAPHNA
Hey, um, that’s my— sorry, that’s … where I’m sleeping?
DAPHNA pulls her cardigan out from under LIAM’s suitcase and re-folds it.
LIAM
I thought Mom said we were all staying here?
DAPHNA
Yeah, but, we’ve already been here, so, all that’s left is …
DAPHNA points at the twin air mattress.
LIAM
But that’s a single. Two people can’t fit there.
JONAH
I don’t mind switch—
DAPHNA
(To JONAH.)
No.
(To LIAM.)
We didn’t know you were bringing a guest if we—
MELODY
We just came from Aspen—
DAPHNA
No one told me you were bringing—
MELODY
We flew here as soon as Liam heard the—
JONAH
I don’t mi—
DAPHNA
NO. If we’d known you were bringing— we would have changed the sheets. Washed them. Dried them. Re-made the beds. Plus with my back …
LIAM
Why doesn’t someone take your room?
JONAH
Cause, her parents are staying there.
LIAM
They are?
DAPHNA
Yes Liam, they are. You know we can’t afford a hotel in this city— we always stay with—
MELODY
It’s fine. Don’t even worry. We’ll be fine. We like to cuddle.
Beat.
LIAM
(To JONAH.)
How’d it go today?
JONAH
It was fine.
LIAM
And …
DAPHNA
More than four hundred people showed up.
LIAM
Jonah?
JONAH
It was nice. It was sad.
MELODY
Liam really wanted to be there. It’s really such bad luck that everything with his phone and everything just went kaplooie when it did.
DAPHNA
It’s not “bad luck” but you know what? Let’s not go into it right now. Or ever. Ok? Thanks.
JONAH
(To MELODY.)
How was Aspen?
MELODY
Oh. Uhm, it was so much fun. I’m still learning. I mostly just stayed on the bunny hills, but these little munchkins kept showing me up! It was so embarrassing!
LIAM
MELODY
He’s being generous. I fell down so many times I—
DAPHNA
Yeah there were more than four hundred people at the funeral. It was really packed.
MELODY
Four hundred! That’s—
DAPHNA
He touched a lot of people, and he was a hugely important figure in the—
LIAM
Who spoke?
DAPHNA
I did. I spoke. Your mother spoke. The rabbi. Abraham Foxman.
MELODY
Who’s he?
DAPHNA
Aunt Ruth.
MELODY
Whose aunt is that again?
DAPHNA
There were eight speakers. Maybe nine. Maybe ten. Ten, Jonah? It was a big deal. Nine. It was a big deal. A big deal.
LIAM
I really wanted to be there. We both did.
DAPHNA
Then you should have been.
Beat
LIAM
I’m just … I’m gonna see if we can pull out the couch in my parents’ place, cause—
DAPHNA
It’s already set up for shiva, you can’t—
LIAM
Well maybe we can find a spot to—
DAPHNA
There are no spots—
LIAM
Well maybe we can—
DAPHNA
You can’t. We had tables brought in. Lots of tables. And they’re all—
MELODY
This is fine—
LIAM
We can move a few tables and make a little—
DAPHNA
You can’t move tables everyone’s asleep do you know what time it is it’s really late and those tables are really heavy you can’t just move them they’re actually very heavy tables.
LIAM
We can at least give it a shot. Jonah.
DAPHNA
Please do not start moving everything around that some of us have spent hours and hours getting—
JONAH
(To MELODY.)
We’re just going right down the hall to my parents. We’ll be right back.
LIAM exits into the hallway. After a beat, JONAH follows. MELODY and DAPHNA are alone. MELODY removes her shoes, then goes into the bathroom. DAPHNA watches her, occasionally running a brush through her hair.
But our focus shifts to the hallway. JONAH closes the door. LIAM points at it.
LIAM
I can’t stay in there tonight.
JONAH
You can take the pull-out. I don’t mind—
LIAM
No, I will not— You’re not actually going to visit her at Vassar?
JONAH
I don’t know.
LIAM
Jonah.
JONAH
She asked me to.
LIAM
Just cause she asked doesn’t mean you have to go.
JONAH
I know.
LIAM
That’s not how things work.
JONAH
I know.
LIAM
Jonah.
JONAH
What?
LIAM
You’re not going.
JONAH
Uhm, ok.
LIAM
If she tries to—
JONAH
She—
LIAM
If she fucking does her fucking thing, in front of Melody? Fuck. No, we’re staying in the apartment.
JONAH
There really isn’t any room in there for—
LIAM
So we’ll make room.
JONAH
LIAM
We can stay in the living room.
JONAH
It’s set up for tomorrow. The couches aren’t— if you start moving things, Mom’ll freak—
LIAM
So we’ll stay in Mom’s office.
JONAH
There’s no floor space with the new desk—
LIAM
I’ll sleep in the kitchen.
JONAH
Mom said—
LIAM
I’ll sleep on Mom and Dad’s floor.
JONAH
With Melody?
LIAM
Why not? I don’t care.
JONAH
It’s just for a night—
LIAM
I’ll sleep in the bathroom. I’ll sleep with my head against the fucking toilet.
JONAH
You’ll survive.
LIAM
Why is that— do you hear the language you use when you talk about her? Survival. If her parents weren’t so completely tight-wadded stingily totally, just, cheap— because they can absolutely afford a hotel, absolutely, but—
JONAH
Some of us have been stuck with her for two days straight and we’ve survived.
LIAM
JONAH
No. I’m just saying—
LIAM
It sounded like—
JONAH
No I’m just saying like, you’ve been here all of five minutes and …
LIAM
And what, Jonah? What?
JONAH
You should just relax, is all.
LIAM
I’m relaxed. Don’t tell me to— This isn’t a resort don’t tell me to relax. Fuck. Just, let’s just make some room.
The boys exit down the hall. Our attention shifts back to the apartment. DAPHNA watches the bathroom door, like a cat roused from an afternoon nap, pretending to still be asleep while she formulates a plan of attack, with one eye open. After the boys have exited, MELODY comes out of the bathroom.
MELODY
You can see the river from the bathroom!
Beat.
This apartment is so nice.
Beat.
It really—
DAPHNA
I love your hair.
MELODY
Oh. Thank you.
DAPHNA
Great barrette!
MELODY
Thank you.
DAPHNA
MELODY
It’s pretty boring actually. I always wanted hair like yours. It’s so much more interesting—
DAPHNA
What’s that?
MELODY
What?
DAPHNA
On your leg.
MELODY
Where?
DAPHNA
Is that, like, a musical note?
MELODY
Oh, my tattoo. Yes. It’s a treble clef.
DAPHNA
That’s a music thing?
MELODY
Yes.
DAPHNA
It’s huge!
MELODY
Yeah.
Beat.
DAPHNA
Pretty!
MELODY
Thanks.
DAPHNA
Did you get it because you love music?
MELODY
Yeah. I studied opera in college, and when—
DAPHNA
You did?
MELODY
DAPHNA
You majored in opera? Wow.
MELODY
Yeah.
DAPHNA
Do you perform in Chicago, or …
MELODY
No, no, I work for a non-profit. CHS? Chicago Historical Society.
DAPHNA
I don’t …
MELODY
It’s kind of, it’s an educational program for underprivileged local area high school students to expose them to the city’s architectural past. They make you memorize that.
DAPHNA
Very cool. But so do you still sing then, or …
MELODY
No. Not really. No.
DAPHNA
So you have a background in architecture too, or …
MELODY
Oh, no. I don’t know anything about architecture, actually. But I’m just an administrator there.
DAPHNA
Oh ok. Cool.
Beat.
I’m sorry, I’m confused. You studied opera, but you’re working at—
MELODY
At CHS, I know! I don’t know, you know? I love opera, and I love to sing, but when I thought about trying to make a living doing that, it was just kind of so unappealing to me? And like, depressing? Just waiting so a million different people can tell you you’re not good enough. It wasn’t for me. And I tried. I did the whole audition thing. I went on, like three. Or two. Two auditions, maybe? It was awful. So I decided to do something else, but I got this tattoo, so I would always remember how important music is to me.
DAPHNA
Did you think otherwise you’d forget?
MELODY
I mean, I just wanted—
DAPHNA
Cause you always have your name, right? To remind you.
MELODY
It was really more symbolic, really, more than anything I guess.
DAPHNA
Symbolic of what?
MELODY
Of, uhm—
DAPHNA
Yeah that’s so interesting to me because I just have the total opposite philosophy.
MELODY
On what?
DAPHNA
Tattoos. Or the need to like brandish yourself.
MELODY
It really doesn’t hurt as much as you might think it—
DAPHNA
I don’t want to think about it, I don’t like thinking about pain.
MELODY
No but it’s fun, they have all these designs you can—
DAPHNA
Melody. I can’t get a tattoo.
I’m Jewish?
It’s against Jewish law.
MELODY
I know a Jewish person with tattoos.
DAPHNA
Well they’re wrong.
MELODY
Oh.
DAPHNA
Yeah. Jewish law prohibits tattoos of any kind but even if it didn’t that wouldn’t be a problem for me because just for like me personally, when I like step back and reflect on all the things that had to occur in the universe over billions of years so that I could be alive, in my body, right now, like, we’re made of the same things as stardust, that’s how connected we are, to everything, so to be like, who cares about the natural, larger-than-life mysterious universal reasons why my body was designed the way it is, like, screw that, I’m just gonna permanently etch this doodle onto my body which is composed of the same things that are in stars!?!?
Poppy had a tattoo, but that was different, obviously. That wasn’t by choice.
B-14312. I memorized it. I used to— when I was little, I would trace it with my … he’d hold out his arm and I would— while he talked to my parents or watched …
I actually, actually, uhm, no.
Beat.
So, Liam. Liam, Liam, Liam. Has Liam ever told you his Hebrew name?
MELODY
His Hebrew …
DAPHNA
Yeah, his Hebrew name?
MELODY
I don’t think so.
DAPHNA
Oh my god, you are gonna …
Shlomo. I’m not kidding. He like freaks out if you call him that, I’ve seen him go completely ape-shit, but …
MELODY
Shlomo?
DAPHNA
Yeah. Liam’s named after his Dad’s like best friend from boarding school, and I think he like killed himself or something, I forget the whole story, but since Liam’s not a Jewish name, they went in the total opposite direction for his Hebrew one: Shlomo. Keep that in your back pocket for a rainy day.
DAPHNA winks at MELODY.
MELODY
In my back—
DAPHNA
So how did you and Shlomo meet?
MELODY
I mean … we met online.
DAPHNA
Online?
MELODY
Yes.
DAPHNA
What site?
MELODY
Match.
DAPHNA
Liam Haber was on match.com?
MELODY
He doesn’t like me to tell people, he thinks it’s embarrassing but I don’t see what’s so embarrassing—
DAPHNA
What did his profile say?
MELODY
It was straightforward. It wasn’t anything weird. Which was a relief, cause, you know, there are a lot of weirdoes out there—
DAPHNA
What was his profile name?
MELODY
I don’t remember.
DAPHNA
Do you remember anything specific about his profile?
MELODY
Not re— I mean, he had a nice picture. I liked his smile.
DAPHNA
You liked his smile.
MELODY
Yes he has a very nice smile.
DAPHNA
Hm. Liam and Melody sitting in a tree. Right? Haha.
MELODY
I guess.
DAPHNA
Are you two just kinda, like, casually dating, or is this more, like, serious?
MELODY
I think … I think— yes, it’s serious.
DAPHNA
How serious?
MELODY
Pretty serious, I think.
DAPHNA
Hm.
What kind of a name is Melody?
MELODY
What?
DAPHNAA
What is its derivation?
MELODY
Oh, I don’t know. Caucasian?
DAPHNA
What’s your background?
MELODY
What do you mean?
DAPHNA
Where does your family come from?
MELODY
Oh. Delaware.
DAPHNA
Before that.
MELODY
Before what?
DAPHNA
Before Delaware.
MELODY
I mean, we’ve always been in Delaware.
DAPHNA
No you haven’t.
MELODY
Actually yes we’ve always—
DAPHNA
Actually no you haven’t always been in Delaware the only people who have always been in Delaware are Indigenous Delawareans but even they didn’t start there even they crossed over the Bering Strait land bridge during the last ice age but if you look around Delaware if you actually opened your eyes and looked you probably wouldn’t see too many of them right and why is that why is that well I’ll tell you why that is the reason why that is and the reason why families like the one you come from can even live in Delaware is because all those Native peoples were SLAUGHTERED so people who look like you and pray like you and reproduce like you could grow up in peaceful suburban housing developments with bookshelves filled with the King James Bible and Nicholas Sparks novels and Eat Pray Love which is probably your favorite book but no Howard Zinn (am I right or am I right) so if your family has always been in Delaware then actually the truth of the matter which we have to face unfortunately hard as it may be is that your family was more than likely major contributors and perhaps even leaders of the most atrocious genocide in American history which means you have the blood of genociders coursing through your veins right this very second but even if they did that they still had to come from somewhere so what I’m asking is where did your family come from before they moved to Delaware to perpetrate genocide?
MELODY
I don’t want to have an argument.
DAPHNA
This isn’t an argument, what are— we’re talking.
MELODY
It doesn’t feel like talking.
DAPHNA
We’re talking. I’m just getting to know you, where you come from. I find it interesting. Really. Tell me.
MELODY
My Mom, I think my Mom is like, Dutch-Irish, maybe, and my Dad’s side is German. And there’s a little Scottish or Welsh in there too, I think.
DAPHNA
You think?
MELODY
But my family’s— we’re just American.
DAPHNA
Just American. Ok.
MELODY
But I really don’t see why any of it matters, you know? Where people come from? People are just people.
DAPHNA
People are just people?
MELODY
Yes. People are people. It doesn’t matter that you’re Jewish or I’m—
DAPHNA
It doesn’t matter that I’m Jewish?
MELODY
No.
DAPHNA
It doesn’t matter?
MELODY
No.
DAPHNA
MELODY
Ok.
DAPHNA
It matters to me very much.
MELODY
Right, but—
DAPHNA
And it’s mattered to hundreds of generations of my family.
MELODY
I know—
DAPHNA
But to you: meaningless.
MELODY
I wasn’t—
DAPHNA
5,000-plus years of mattering, but not to you!
MELODY
That’s not what I—
DAPHNA
And it really mattered to Poppy. I don’t know what Liam told you, but it mattered to Poppy. A lot. He was—
MELODY
Can I— I’m thirsty. Is there, can I have something to drink?
DAPHNA
There’s water.
MELODY
Ok.
MELODY starts to move to the kitchen.
DAPHNA
No, sit. I got it.
DAPHNA goes to the kitchen area. MELODY takes out her cell phone. DAPHNA returns with two glasses of water, and hands one to MELODY.
MELODY
Thank you. I just have a voicemail I have to, should—
DAPHNA
Of course. Go ahead. You’re lucky your phone survived the ski lift.
MELODY goes to the kitchen and pretends to listen to a voicemail, turned away from DAPHNA, who sips her water, slightly amused. After a Moment, the boys appear in the hall. JONAH’s about to open the door …
LIAM
Wait.
JONAH
What?
LIAM
I just need a second more to not be in there.
Don’t look at me like that.
JONAH
I’m not looking at you like any—
LIAM
Like, I told you so.
JONAH
Well, I did.
LIAM
Whatever. It was worth a shot. How Mom could ever think putting me in the same room with Diana would even remotely—
JONAH
There really isn’t another option—
LIAM
Can you not, like, jump to everyone else’s defense over me whenever I say anything? It’s really annoying.
Beat.
JONAH
She was asking about Poppy’s chai.
LIAM
What?
JONAH
LIAM
Don’t call her that.
JONAH
She asked me about it.
LIAM
When?
JONAH
Before you got here.
LIAM
Fuck. She’s gonna make this a thing, isn’t she?
JONAH
I don’t know.
LIAM
What’d she say? Fuck.
JONAH
She wants it.
A Moment, while LIAM allows himself to feel the weight of this future fight.
LIAM
What’d she say?
JONAH
She wants it.
LIAM
Does she know I have it?
JONAH
No.
LIAM
So Mom didn’t say anything?
JONAH
No.
LIAM
And you didn’t tell her he gave it to me?
JONAH
He didn’t give it to you, really—
LIAM
He gave it to me, Jonah. Poppy gave it to me.
JONAH
Mom gave it to you.
LIAM
Because Poppy said I could have it. Because he wanted me to have it. Because he gave it to me. Because he said I could have it.
JONAH
He didn’t know what he was saying at that point—
LIAM
No. I’m not going to— No. Poppy always said I could have it. Since I was— since always. Everyone knows that. Everyone heard— Poppy has always said— It’s not even— when Grandma died, she gave that, whatever, that jewelry thing to Diana. That necklace. Which is worth a whole lot more than this. Which is, you know, what matters to the cheapskates. And no one complained. But Poppy’s a man, so his things, which are men’s things, go to men, that’s just— I don’t even know why I’m getting worked up about this. It’s mine. I have it. It belongs to me.
JONAH
Ok.
LIAM
Ok.
Beat.
What’d she say, though, like, did she even make a case for about why she thinks she’s even—
JONAH
Because it’s a religious item—
LIAM
Are you kidding? It’s so much more than—
JONAH
Please don’t get mad at me, I am not the—
LIAM
That’s like saying anything made of gold is a religious item because gold has religious significance to Incas.
JONAH
Uhm …
LIAM
It’s an example. It’s— whatever. Poppy’s chai— like, if it were any chai, just like, any chai you bought at a store or whatever I could understand that argument, it’s just a religious item, but for Poppy, everyone knows, for Poppy, it was so much more, it mattered to him on like a whole host of different levels—
JONAH
I know—
LIAM
I know you know but it’s like, I’m proposing to Melody.
JONAH
Oh.
LIAM
Yeah.
JONAH
You are?
LIAM
Yeah. I was gonna propose tonight.
JONAH
Oh.
LIAM
Yeah. I was supposed to— that’s why we went to Aspen.
JONAH
Oh.
LIAM
You didn’t put that together?
JONAH
Uhm …
LIAM
You didn’t put it together that the reason Poppy gave me the chai was because I was proposing?
JONAH
No.
LIAM
You’re legitimately not intelligent.
This really hurts JONAH, because he’s not as smart as LIAM, and he knows it.
JONAH
But …
LIAM
But what?
JONAH
But Poppy was sick.
LIAM
I made the plans before he got— I’m not— I made the plans before he was sick, Jonah!
JONAH
Ok.
LIAM
Yeah, I made reservations for dinner at this really cool restaurant at the top of a mountain and I was gonna tell her the story of Poppy’s chai but then— I should have done it already. Can you imagine Diana’s face if Melody had walked in with the chai around her neck?
JONAH
Um, no I can’t actually.
LIAM
I know, but—
JONAH
Wait: You were gonna use Poppy’s chai to propose?
LIAM
That’s why I had it.
JONAH
Like …
LIAM
What, Jonah?
JONAH
Like, do you also have a ring?
LIAM
No.
JONAH
But you weren’t … you weren’t going to give Poppy’s chai to Melody?
LIAM
That’s why I needed it. I’m going to propose to her with— have you been listening to me at all?
JONAH
Yeah, no, it’s just …
LIAM
Just what, Jonah?
JONAH
Nothing. It’s just, that’s kind of like a family thing.
LIAM
What do you think Melody is if I marry her?
JONAH
Yeah, no, ok.
LIAM
If I marry her, she’s part of our family. What belongs to our family will belong to her. And the chai would be the bedrock of two marriages of two generations of people in our family. Grandma wasn’t part of Poppy’s family when he gave her the chai. It’s the same thing.
Jonah.
JONAH
What?
LIAM
Do you not see how it’s the same thing?
JONAH
I really don’t want to be involved in—
LIAM
Tough shit, you are involved.
JONAH
I just don’t want to be in the middle of—
LIAM
There’s nothing to be in the middle of. Poppy gave the chai to me, to propose to my future wife just like he used it to propose to his wife and that’s what’s gonna happen so there’s nothing to discuss. I was just hoping, as my brother, that I’d have your support, but I see that I don’t.
JONAH
It’s not a—
LIAM
No, it’s fine. It’s fine.
JONAH
Don’t be like that.
LIAM
I’m not being like anything.
JONAH
Yeah you are so stop.
LIAM
Ok fine it’s just, Diana better not make a thing about this, because I haven’t proposed yet, obviously, I haven’t told Melody the story of Poppy’s chai, and I want it to come from me, I don’t want her to hear about it from Diana. That’d be the opposite of romantic. That’d be like the antithesis of romance, so just, like, if Diana brings it up, which, I really hope she fu … but if she does, can you just help me just quash that conversation?
JONAH
Oh. Oh, I—
LIAM
Jonah! Can you just help me in that one area, please? If it comes up?
JONAH
Yeah ok.
LIAM
Ok. Thanks.
Thanks.
JONAH
You’re welcome.
You really … (Unsaid: are gonna propose to Melody?)
LIAM
What?
JONAH
JONAH opens the door. LIAM follows. DAPHNA’s casually been brushing her hair. MELODY runs to LIAM.
DAPHNA
Did you girls have fun out there?
LIAM
There really isn’t room in the apartment, so …
MELODY
Really?
LIAM
Yeah. There’s stuff everywhere, my Mom is kind of a—
MELODY
Oh.
LIAM puts his arm around MELODY.
DAPHNA
Aww. This is like an ad for match.com.
LIAM
What?
DAPHNA
I never knew you were an online dater.
LIAM
I— What?
DAPHNA
I would love to see your profile.
LIAM
I deactivated it.
DAPHNA
Awww. He must really like you.
LIAM
(To MELODY.)
I wish you hadn’t—
MELODY
A lot of people do it. It’s not something to feel embarrassed about. It’s very normal now.
| DAPHNA | |
| It definitely is. I mean, I didn’t meet Gilad online, that’s my boyfriend, he lives in Israel, but like, he’s in the army, but if I wasn’t dating him, I would have no problem going online I do everything else online, why not date? | LIAM Do we have to Gilad right now? |
DAPHNA
It’s very cute, Jonah, Melody says what first earned Liam a place in her heart was his winning smile—
LIAM
What did you tell her?
MELODY
Nothing, just how we—
DAPHNA
Don’t worry Liam. It was all very PG. Well, PG-ish. I mean, she didn’t air any of your dirty laundry. Well, not much of it, right Mellow?
LIAM
Her name’s Melody. Not Mellow. Melody.
DAPHNA
Uhm, I’m pretty sure if Melody has a problem with me calling her Mellow, she can speak for herself—
LIAM
And can you not brush your hair all over everyone’s stuff?
DAPHNA
What?
LIAM
Your hair is going everywhere. It’s really disgusting.
DAPHNA
Uhm …
LIAM
Go in the bathroom if you want to do that? It’s rude.
DAPHNA
It’s rude to brush my hair?
LIAM
Yeah. In the room where we all have to sleep, it’s rude. Public grooming is rude.
DAPHNA
What are you, like a public grooming zealot?
Beat.
Ohhhhhkay. Excuse me while I go in the bathroom to brush my hair. Slicha.
DAPHNA exits to the bathroom. When the door closes, LIAM flies off the handle.
LIAM
She is a fucking cunt.
| MELODY | JONAH |
| Liam! | Whoa. |
LIAM
Fuck!
JONAH
Liam, relax.
LIAM
Stop telling me to relax. You keep telling me to relax like we’re suddenly in Shangri-La. Nothing about this is—
(To MELODY.)
And stop telling her— I specifically asked you not to tell her things about us, so please don’t—
MELODY
I—
LIAM
Just please Melody. Please. You don’t know her, so just trust me, don’t tell her things, you can’t— you can’t give her one detail about even the least significant thing because she’ll take that one microscopic insignificant tiny little morsel of a detail and find a way to spin it in her little web and spit it back at you with so much venom you won’t even know what hit you, and now whatever you—
JONAH
Liam.
LIAM
Jonah.
JONAH
You’re being …
LIAM
What, Jonah? I’m being what, honest? You have a problem with honesty now? This is absurd.
MELODY
What’s absurd?
LIAM
Everything! Your def— and— This situation! Look at us! Look at this room! This room is like my worst nightmare, we’re on top of each other like—
JONAH
We’re not on top of each other.
LIAM
Yes we are. Yes we fucking are! You can’t even move without tripping over a—
LIAM purposely trips over his suitcase.
LIAM
See?
MELODY
You did that on purpose.
LIAM
That’s not the point. And I am choking on her hair. Is anybody else choking on her hair?
MELODY
No.
LIAM
You can see the strands just like, hanging in the air like pollution. She’s like a dog. It seriously, it’s like having a dog in the house.
JONAH
LIAM
Daphna? You’re shedding again! Fucking “Daphna.” Can we just— Her name is Diana. Diana. I know she wishes she were this like barbed wire hopping, Uzi-toting Israeli warlock superhero: Daphna; but actually, Diana Feygenbaum grew up in Schnecksville, Pennsylvania, in an armpit town doing swim team badly and hysterically sobbing when she didn’t get picked to be cheerleader, in her closet, with the door closed— that’s a true story, by the way, and her screenname, when we were younger, her like AIM screenname, ok, was PrincessDiana88. She’s as Israeli as Martin van fucking Buren, but she thinks because our grandfather survived the Holocaust and because her disgustingly hideous hair probably grows the same as it did for all the other women in the history of our family who actually suffered, that somehow means she’s suffered too, but the truth is, PrincessDiana88 has suffered about as much as, as, as this fucking, this pillow.
MELODY
Are you done?
LIAM
No! I’m not done. Why is everyone— I’m not saying anything that isn’t true. Why is everyone pretending like Daphna is like, this like, lovely, gorgeous, big-hearted girl? Uhm, she’s not. You want to play pretend, you play pretend, but I’m done. I am fucking done fucking pretending, because the truth is, I am horrified. She is horrifying. Just listen to her, every other word that comes out of her mouth is some unbelievably offensive insult that we’re supposed to pretend not to hear? I’m not deaf. And the most offensive thing of all, do you want to know the most—
JONAH
Not really.
LIAM
The most astonishingly offensive thing of all is the fact that she actually believes, in her heart of hearts, she is the only one Poppy meant something to. Because she’s like, Super Jew. But you know what? Jonah and I lost our grandfather too. Our grandfather. But to her, she can’t even fathom that I have things too that I remember? That I did with Poppy? That I remember? That …
But watch tomorrow, when she’s parading around shiva like this little rabbi in the making, you watch, anytime there’s a prayer or praying or prayer-like anything, she’ll get this look on her face, like, I’m above all of you, like, I’m on this spiritual enlightenment plane way above everyone else, like Poppy’s death hits me more or hurts me more or means more to me because I’m reading some shit in Hebrew which I would put money on the fact that she doesn’t even know what half that shit means but as soon as I come around or Jonah comes around, her little talmudic personality grows in 2 seconds like those sponges you put in water, and she becomes this little uber-Jew who like lords her newfound and— dare I say it? Yes, I dare— temporary and potentially passing religious fanaticism over everyone, like after her trip to Israel last summer, all we heard about at Thanksgiving was this fucking Army boyfriend she had now from some town where you have to say “cccccchh” to pronounce it, so she pronounced it like sixteen hundred times, this guy who is so Jewish and so great and he wants to marry her and she’s going to make aliyah and live in Jerusalem shoving shofars in her hideous unused vagina until the whatever arrives and it’s like, I bet this guy fucked her once, when he was drunk, by accident, and woke up the next morning and was like, uhhhh MISTAKE, but she woke up and thought, BOYFRIEND! and because he’s Israeli, and Jewish, that somehow makes him superior even though the dude probably doesn’t even know her name and I’d bet money he never did and it’s so fucking pathetic it makes my skin crawl, not even crawl, like, it makes my skin slide completely off me, detach itself from my body and pool up in a slimy slithering puddle at my feet and I just want to grab her by the back of her hideous fucking Jew hair and smash her face into a puddle of my molten dead skin and let her breathe that in for an hour or two. The fucking bitch.
Beat.
DAPHNA returns from the bathroom. The room is quiet. Everyone is cautious. Watching her. Waiting.
DAPHNA
Excuse me.
DAPHNA
How’s school?
LIAM
What?
DAPHNA
My Mom said you’re almost done.
LIAM
Uhm, with the Masters. There’s still the Ph.D.
DAPHNA
God, that’s so much school!
LIAM
I don’t, uhm, mind it.
DAPHNA
I would hope not!
LIAM
Yeah.
DAPHNA
Yeah. And you’re studying, I’m sorry, I know it has to do with Japanese—
LIAM
Culture. Contemporary Japanese youth culture.
DAPHNA
Right.
(To MELODY.)
Liam’s funny that way. He’s obsessed with Japan. I’m sure you already know. Even though there’s absolutely nothing Japanese about any aspect of our family. Except his Mom makes you take off your shoes before you come inside their house. But when Liam was ten I think, for some reason my family was in town during his birthday, Liam insisted on going to this crazy Japanese restaurant, what’s it called?
LIAM
Benihana.
DAPHNA
MELODY
No. I don’t.
DAPHNA
It’s this restaurant where they cook your food in front of you on a really hot stove top and use all sorts of scary looking knives. Remember that?
JONAH
Yeah.
DAPHNA
Liam was in ten year old boy heaven, but— oh my god! Do you remember that night? I’m just— who was it, it was my family, your family, Poppy and Grandma, nine Jews with Jewish digestive tracts eating some pretty intense Asian food. And— do you remember, like, one by one, people would be eating and all of a sudden it would hit them, like: boom. Look at Jonah!
JONAH is already hysterical at the memory.
And they would like waddle walk, they waddle walked away from the table and then came back like eight minutes later, but there was only one uni-sex bathroom, which Grandma refused to use so 3 times she went across the street to this hotel lobby …
JONAH
And Poppy was like:
In Eastern European accent
Vat is wrong vis dis bassroom?
When dinner was over, we couldn’t leave because …
DAPHNA
We literally, we’d start to walk outside and it was like, wait, Aunt Fanny’s about to … We hailed a taxi, Poppy’s bending down to—
JONAH
He ducks into the cab, he’s starting to sit and then, woosh, he pops out like—
LIAM
I never saw Poppy run like that—
JONAH
DAPHNA
The hostess looked at us like we were actual Jewish aliens.
LIAM
And Poppy comes out of the restaurant twenty minutes later, and he’s like, he says …
DAPHNA is so hysterical, she can’t breathe. So is JONAH.
MELODY
What does he say?
But now LIAM is too hysterical. Whenever someone gains their composure, they see one of the others and explode with laughter all over again.
MELODY
What did he say?
No one responds to MELODY, they’re laughing too hard. She takes out her phone and texts. Finally the laughter subsides. JONAH’s happy.
DAPHNA
Ohhh boy.
LIAM
I forgot about …
JONAH
Wow. Amazing. Amazing.
A long Moment of catching their breath. LIAM sees MELODY staring at him: This is the fucking bitch you were railing against? Really?
LIAM
Are you tired?
MELODY nods.
Yeah. I’m like ready to pass out. You ready for bed?
MELODY nods. LIAM goes to his suitcase.
Let me just brush my teeth, then we’ll …
DAPHNA
Uhm, hey, uhm, before we … there’s something I wanted to … Jonah and I talked before and we’re on the same page—
JONAH
Wait, Daphna. Let’s not—
DAPHNA
It’ll just take a second.
JONAH
No, let’s not do this tonight maybe—
DAPHNA
Jonah. Let me—
JONAH
Daphna. Another—
DAPHNA
Poppy’s chai.
Quick beat.
LIAM
Jonah’s right let’s go to bed.
DAPHNA
I just wanna make sure we’re all on the same page—
LIAM
Yeah we are let’s go to bed—
DAPHNA
So it’s cool then for me to have it—
JONAH
Daphna, not now.
LIAM
I really want to go to bed now.
DAPHNA
Ok but I don’t know when we’ll have another time to talk it’ll only take a second and I just think Poppy’s chai is—
LIAM
NOT. NOW.
MELODY
Liam, people are allowed to talk—
JONAH
DAPHNA
Poppy’s chai is—
LIAM
YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP. NOW.
DAPHNA
Poppy’s chai—
LIAM
NOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW.
His scream is scary and intense. DAPHNA is shaken. MELODY goes to comfort her.
DAPHNA
What is wrong with him?
MELODY
I don’t know.
DAPHNA
He’s been picking on me and picking on me since from the second he got here.
MELODY
Do you want some tea? Jonah, do you guys have tea?
DAPHNA
Tea?
MELODY
Yes, tea. To calm you down. When my nerves are frayed, I always—
DAPHNA
I don’t drink tea it makes me gag.
MELODY
Oh.
DAPHNA
I just need to be, like, still for a minute.
MELODY
Alright.
DAPHNA
I just need to block out that scream.
DAPHNA is still for like ten seconds.
Maybe you could sing something?
MELODY
Oh, I don’t—
DAPHNA
That would be really—
LIAM
No. We’re not—
MELODY holds up a finger to silence LIAM.
DAPHNA
A song is what would actually really calm me down. If you would even consider just like, humming something, or …
MELODY
Of co— If that will— of course. Are you … Do you have a particular song you want to hear? Well … in college, when I was studying, I— no. I know. Do you know Porgy and Bess?
DAPHNA
Who are they?
MELODY
No, it’s a … You’ll know this. Ahh. I haven’t sung in a while actually, but—
LIAM
You do not have to sing.
MELODY almost responds to LIAM.
DAPHNA
It will soothe me.
MELODY begins to sing “Summertime.” It is the whitest white girl rendition of the song ever sung. There is no attempt to mimic a black singer, or even Janis Joplin’s edge. It is perfectly enunciated, mildly operatic, and utterly devoid of emotion. The only place where this performance wouldn’t be totally humiliating is in a nursing home. Everyone is embarrassed and uncomfortable. Except MELODY. Who is unaware of what she sounds like.
When the song ends, MELODY clears her throat. No one talks for a long time.
Like, a really long time.
It’s beyond awkward.
LIAM goes to MELODY and puts his arm around her.
MELODY
What are you doing?
LIAM
Nothing.
Just.
Comforting you.
MELODY
Why would you comfort me?
LIAM
In case you were … uncomfortable.
MELODY
I’m not.
MELODY goes into the bathroom and slams the door. A long Moment of JONAH and DAPHNA laughing.
LIAM
Very nice. Way to make her feel welcome.
DAPHNA
Um, I imagine watching you SCREAM in my FACE probably didn’t make her feel very welcome—
LIAM
There was no reason to ask her to do that. That was just cruel.
DAPHNA
She’s a trained opera singer! How was I supposed to know she can’t— It’s not cruel to ask a trained opera singer to sing.
JONAH
Come on, you guys—
LIAM
Melody has done nothing but be sweet and lovely and supportive, she came here to support me and to support our family but as soon as you sniff out anyone who you think—
DAPHNA
Uh uh uh uh uh no no I don’t sniff out anything Liam I’m not a dog—
LIAM
Maybe you can’t handle being around such a genuinely good person but—
DAPHNA
I can handle being around such a genuinely good person, but thanks for looking out, and thanks for bringing someone to “support our family” but I’m pretty sure we can support ourselves.
LIAM
She is—
DAPHNA
Yeah can we just: What is she doing here? This is so weird!
LIAM
What?
DAPHNA
She never even met Poppy!
LIAM
She’s my girlfriend—
DAPHNA
Who brings some random girl no one’s ever met to their grandfather’s funeral—
LIAM
She’s my girlfriend! She’s not a random girl. Jonah’s met her, my—
DAPHNA
Do not— I know you Liam, I fucking know you, you actually don’t require that much support, do you really just get off that much on rubbing my face in your shit?
LIAM
What are you—
DAPHNA
What are you talking about? Don’t.
LIAM
Don’t what?
DAPHNA
You know exactly—
LIAM
I have no idea what you’re talking about—
DAPHNA
You have no idea?
LIAM
I have no idea—
DAPHNA
You have no idea?
LIAM
I have no—
DAPHNA
You just parade these totally inferior little women through our family functions but you have no idea—
LIAM
Inferior?
DAPHNA
Oh don’t act like you don’t know exactly what I’m— Jonah knows what I’m talking about.
As soon as JONAH hears his name, he turns away.
DAPHNA
These inferior— I met Miyushi, don’t fuck with me.
LIAM
Inferior?
DAPHNA
Yes, Liam: inferior. Do you not know what inferior means? I met Miyushi.
JONAH
Daphna.
DAPHNA
No I’m not even— and then this one, with the tattoo of a fucking treble clef on her calf the size of a tumor which really does speak volumes about the
DAPHNA taps her brain
of a person who wakes up and thinks, what should I do today, hmm, oh I know! I’ll get an enormous treble clef needled into my skin, that’ll be soooo beautiful; this one, who dresses like she was conceived and fucking live-water birthed in a Talbots; and this one who— elephant in the room: you heard her sing? Were her professors deaf or just lazy? Either way, she spent god knows how much money in college and in private little voice lessons in Wilmington so she could sing like that— only to go on two auditions before dumping that dream off like an unwanted baby in a dumpster, so you wanna suddenly get all women’s rights with me you can’t believe I called your precious little girlfriends inferior, what should I call them? Ambitious? Intelligent? Fucking brainiacs? All I’m saying is what everyone else with eyes and an IQ above sixty can see as plain as day which is that while you may be an arrogant entitled smug little fuck, you do have options. You’re smart, you’re getting a Ph.D. from the University of Chicago and you do come from all this money and— and it pains me to say it, but you’re not completely atrocious looking. You could actually date a woman who was your intellectual equal but instead you find these tepid little Bambi creatures to impose this hyper-masculine hegemenonical totalitarian regime on even though you like to like think you’re like this like super sensitive in touch sensitized like dork-chic Chicago grad student who’s like uber-liberal and totally devoted to the preservation of these little cultural studies because studying Japan is definitely worthy of five years of intensive labor, but studying torah for all of ten minutes is only worthy of total utter snide sniveling disdain; if you found yourself in the middle of a rain dance you would be soooo respectful trying to do every movement perfectly to like honor every Native American who ever lived, but if you found yourself in the middle of a hora— I’ve seen you in the middle of a hora— you look like you want to fucking die; if someone asks your religion you proudly state, “I’m an atheist” but the second anyone starts a little Israel-Palestine discussion, it’s like, find me a stopwatch and let’s count to ten because it won’t even take that long before I hear, “As a Jew …” because then you’re a Jew, but only when you can use it to bash all things Jewish which somehow makes you stand a little taller, doesn’t it, puts a little pep in your step like you’re so fucking enlightened even though you reek of fucking cliché; you haven’t lit a menorah since the nineties, but hello Facebook photos of you in a Santy Claus hat ho-ho-hoing it up next to the Christmas tree you put up in your apartment, and it was kind of obvious that, for whatever reason, you actually liked wearing that cheap fake crushed red velvet hat with the shitty white pom pom on the end, or maybe it wasn’t the hat, maybe it was just getting to stand under the mistletoe and smooch paper-cut-lips Melody, amazing, dynamic, smart-as-shit Melody, the icon of your ideal woman, because we know, a woman who’s actually trying to make something of her life and her intellect is worthy of your harshest criticism but a woman with zero career goals and maybe point two brain cells and less than no talent is a genuinely good person, you two must be so genuinely happy, spending time with her must be a scintillating experience, in fact, I myself had the chance to talk with her this evening and she really does offer up an intellectual feast for the mind, I can only imagine the topics you two must cover in your daily conversation, subjects like, how cute she looks on the bunny hill, or, how cute she looks in her Talbots secretary outfits, or really what it all comes down to: hhhhow nice it is to fuck an ethnic-free bush!
Yeah Shlomo. You’re right: your girlfriends aren’t inferior. You are.
Beat.
LIAM
I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay here tonight.
DAPHNA
Ah, yes, don’t respond to my truth. Dismiss me.
LIAM
You need to find somewhere else to sleep. I actually can’t be around you.
DAPHNA
You don’t have a choice.
LIAM
I do have a choice. This isn’t your apartment. So get. Out.
DAPHNA
LIAM
I don’t care where you go. Go to the JCC. 76th and Amsterdam. See if they’ll take you in for the night.
DAPHNA
You are such an anti-semite.
LIAM
I don’t care where you go, but if you stay here someone is not going to survive the night and I will not subject Melody to anymore of your hideous … to you, because you have an incessant need to lash out at anyone who makes you feel insecure—
DAPHNA
Ummm, you think Melody makes me feel insecure?
LIAM
I don’t think that; I know it.
DAPHNA
What does that girl possibly have that I don’t—
LIAM
A good heart. A pretty face. An engaging personality. A sense of compassion, not only for those less fortunate, but for everyone. She’s a good person. You’re not. Your righteousness is all self-righteousness; hers is pure. There’s a purity to her. She got a tattoo of a treble clef because she loves music. It’s that simple. She’s uncomplicated. She is what she is, no more, no less. No deception, no ulterior motives. She’s a song I can’t stop singing.
MELODY has been standing in the doorframe of the bathroom, listening to LIAM talk about her. She goes to him and kisses him. DAPHNA raises her eyebrows as high as they can possibly go, as if to say, “A song he can’t stop singing?”
LIAM
Are you ok?
MELODY nods.
MELODY
You know you can hear everything in the bathroom?
DAPHNA
No shit. You don’t think I heard everything he said about—
MELODY
Please don’t talk to me like that—
LIAM
You have to stop talking to people like—
MELODY
Everyone stop. Just stop it! You can’t talk to each other in this …
Searches hard for a big word.
Horrible way. Do you know what it was like before, to hear your boyfriend, talk the way you were talking? That’s not you!
DAPHNA
Uhm …
MELODY
(To LIAM.)
I don’t talk that way. I just heard every single …
Searches hard for a big word; no luck this time.
and I’m not about to lash back at— because everyone in here, no matter whatever you think of them, is a human being, and you don’t talk to human beings that way. If I ever did, I honestly couldn’t live with myself.
Promise me all that horribleness is over.
LIAM
I—
MELODY
Otherwise, I’ll go.
LIAM
No— Mel— I—
MELODY
I will. I’ll fly back to Chicago.
LIAM
No— You have my word.
MELODY
I’m not saying you have to be best friends or even, but civil. Everyone.
LIAM
MELODY
Thank you.
Now it’s been a really long day, I think everyone’s probably really over-tired, so let’s just maybe go to bed.
LIAM
Ok.
LIAM kisses MELODY on the cheek. She flinches. He goes to open his suitcase. MELODY sees DAPHNA.
Beat.
MELODY
But first. Before you screamed at her, in a way I never want to hear again, I think Deevna was trying to talk to you about something important to her, and human beings have the right to speak no matter what you think of them, even if they don’t … She’s a human being. So Deevna, what did you want to say?
Beat.
DAPHNA
Oh. I— well it was about Poppy’s chai—
JONAH
Hey you know what? Really and truly, everyone’s tired, we’ve calmed down, so what I think we should do is go to bed and talk in the—
MELODY
No.
LIAM
Mel—
MELODY
No. She wasn’t saying anything wrong and it sounded very important to her, so we’re going to respect her and listen to her because we are good people and that’s what good people do.
LIAM
Honey, I understand you’re trying to be helpful but you really don’t understand the—
MELODY
Liam.
LIAM
MELODY
Liam—
LIAM
Jonah you said—
MELODY
Liam—
JONAH
I really think—
MELODY
No—
LIAM
Daphna please can we not do this now I am—
MELODY
Liam. Let her speak.
Beat.
Go on. No one is going to interrupt you.
DAPHNA
Thank you. Um, all I wanted to talk about was, and it’s really not a big deal, it’s just, like, Poppy’s chai is …
Breath.
This is the last time we’ll be together as a family for a while since I’m moving to Israel this summer, and your Mom said you’re not coming to my graduation cause you have finals then or, which is fine, really, it’s just a ceremony I don’t even care about it but since I’m, because of how I feel about, and like, how involved I am in, I mean, I think it makes the most sense that Poppy’s chai should go to—
MELODY
What’s a …?
DAPHNA
Chai? It’s the Hebrew word for life. It’s two letters, a chet and a yud, and it has a numeric equivalent of 18 which is an important number in Judaism. It’s made of gold, it’s not very big, and Poppy wore it on a chain around his neck his whole life. A lot of people, a lot of men, I should say, have one, more so now, it was a lot less common then actually but Poppy’s was particularly—
JONAH
Daphna—
LIAM
Please—
MELODY
No! She’s not saying anything wrong. Let her talk.
DAPHNA
The reason Poppy’s chai was special was because he held onto it during the Holocaust, in this amazing way, because obviously Jews couldn’t have gold jewelry, but it was his father’s and when it was clear that he and his father were going to be split up, his father gave Poppy the chai, cause he thought maybe he could use it later to trade for food or, who knows what—
LIAM
Please …
MELODY
Liam.
DAPHNA
So for two years, Poppy kept his father’s chai under his tongue, like, he kept it in his mouth for two years while he was in the camps.
JONAH
Daphna—
DAPHNA
(Genuinely confused.)
I don’t know why they don’t want me to tell you about this, it’s an incredible story.
JONAH
Daphna, don’t.
DAPHNA
Don’t what? So then after the war, Poppy looked for the rest of his family but they had been killed, all of them. Poppy had three sisters, and a little brother and his parents and his grandparents and aunts and uncles: all gone. All killed. So then the camp was liberated and Poppy left and came to America and that’s where he met our grandma, in America, who was a total bitch but that’s a totally separate story, but Poppy didn’t have any money when he came here and he couldn’t buy her a ring—
LIAM
I’m begging you, Daphna, please?
DAPHNA
Um, ok, no.
MELODY
No, keep going. This is …
DAPHNA
So he couldn’t buy her a ring, but he wanted to marry her, so he proposed with the only piece of jewelry he had, and so she wore his chai until he could afford to buy her a real ring and then he wore it again, and it’s this amazing artifact of our family and the power of like our grandfather surviving and he always loved putting it on me when I was little and when you look at his three grandchildren, I think we can all agree that the one who is clearly, like, the one who is without question the most connected with what that chai represents and what it means, is me, which we can all agree on, and so, clearly I upset … I was out of line. I admit it. And, I’m sorry. I apologize. Sincerely. And it’s no excuse, but you really upset me too with what I overheard, and that’s not what the spirit of this whole thing is supposed to be about, so I just wanted to say that, you know? But, by the same token, we need to make a decision, and I think this can just be very simple, and Jonah said he agreed I should—
JONAH
I didn’t say that.
DAPHNA
Jonah! Yes you did.
JONAH
I said I didn’t want to get in the middle of it so don’t put me there.
DAPHNA
Jonah!
JONAH
I said I don’t want it, so leave me out.
DAPHNA
Actually, you said—
JONAH
Leave me out.
DAPHNA
But you—
JONAH
Leave me out!
DAPHNA
Wow. Ok. Wow. Fine. Stay out. Just— wow.
Beat.
So Liam. What do you say? Is it cool with you, if I …?
Beat.
I really, it’s just the most important thing to me, and …
Beat.
Liam?
Liam?
Um, Liam?
MELODY
Liam?
DAPHNA
Hi, Liam?
MELODY
Honey?
Honey?
Liam!
LIAM
You would have to murder me.
DAPHNA
Um, what?
MELODY
Liam?
LIAM
Not just over my dead body. You would have to make me dead. You would have to kill me before I let you have Poppy’s chai.
DAPHNA doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
DAPHNA
Well I guess we have some things to discuss then.
LIAM
Nope.
DAPHNA
Yeah, we have to figure this out—
LIAM
There’s nothing to figure out.
DAPHNA
Well I want Poppy’s chai but I’m obviously not going to murder you for it. I hope that’s obvious. So that means we need to work this out like—
LIAM
There’s nothing to work out because I have it, ok?
DAPHNA
You have it?
LIAM
I have it.
DAPHNA
How’d you get it?
LIAM
Poppy gave it to me.
DAPHNA
You’re lying. You’re lying. My Mom saw it around his neck a week ago in the hospital. He still had it a week ago.
LIAM
What, did you send your Mom in to spy on Poppy?
DAPHNA
No but I asked her to check and see—
LIAM
DAPHNA
if he still had it on when she came up to visit him a week ago and he did.
LIAM
Holy shit.
DAPHNA
So if you have it how did you … how could you? You couldn’t. Your Mom even said— What, did she just give it to you now when you stopped in the apartment tonight?
LIAM
Nope.
DAPHNA
But you haven’t been home since last— you were skiing in Vail. Your Mom was with him more than anyone, she’s been there every day, you’ve been in Chicago, so the only way it could have even gotten to you is if your Mom …
Holy shit.
Holy fucking …
She didn’t …
She mailed it to you?
She mailed it to you?
LIAM
She didn’t mail it. She fed-exed it.
DAPHNA
Fed-ex?!? What’s the difference?
LIAM
You can track the package.
DAPHNA
I don’t believe you. I don’t believe you. I don’t—
LIAM
Stop, I was always getting it, you know that.
DAPHNA
What??
LIAM
Poppy always said I could have it—
DAPHNA
Poppy never said anyone—
LIAM
And I’m the oldest grandson. It was never up—
DAPHNA
The oldest grandson?
LIAM
And plus, you got Grandma’s necklace.
DAPHNA
Grandma’s necklace? Grandma was a bitch!
LIAM
And you got her necklace.
DAPHNA
You want her necklace? You can have it. No one wanted any of her shit no one liked her.
LIAM
She had nice stuff—
DAPHNA
Poppy never specified who could have the chai, all he ever said was, this is for the grandchildren, he never—
JONAH
Daphna. He has it.
DAPHNA
But—
JONAH
He has it.
DAPHNA
But … Jonah? Then why didn’t you say something?
JONAH
I don’t—
DAPHNA
When I brought it up, why didn’t you say something?
JONAH
I told you I don’t want to … be involved, in … this.
DAPHNA
No when I asked you if you thought Liam would be cool with me having it, why didn’t you tell me he already did?
JONAH says nothing.
That is maybe the shittiest thing anyone has ever done to me. And I thought we were …
You suck.
LIAM
Enough. Lay off him.
DAPHNA
Lay off him? Really Liam? What are you now, brother of the year? Amazing brother, amazing grandson, ama— you want Poppy’s chai so much, you love Poppy so much, where have you been? Jonah’s been here, I’ve been here, we made it to the funeral. You couldn’t even be bothered to call. I made it down three weeks ago when he went into the hospital. Did you? Did you? And do not pull rights of the first born bullshit with me— We live in a modern world that shit is dead that shit is— because if there were rights of the firstborn here, it would go to my Dad, MY Dad, cause he’s the oldest male heir. Not you. Not you. You don’t get to take whatever you want without—
LIAM
He gave it to me, no one took anything, he gave—
DAPHNA
Your Mom took something and didn’t tell anyone. Which is called stealing, Liam, stealing.
LIAM
Poppy always said I could have it.
DAPHNA
Does it say that in the will?
Yeah, I didn’t think so.
So what, did Aunt Fanny rip it off his neck while he was—
LIAM
Jesus! No one ripped anything, ok? He gave it to her. She asked him for it, I asked him for it, and he gave it to her, and she sent it to me.
DAPHNA
You’ve been in Aspen, were you even there to get it? Or is Poppy’s chai in your lobby just like on the floor—
LIAM
I got it before my trip. Chill out.
DAPHNA
Why’d you have to have it before he died? Why couldn’t you have waited—
MELODY
Oh my god.
MELODY is very, very emotional. Maybe shaking.
Oh my god.
LIAM looks at MELODY. MELODY looks at LIAM. They know. DAPHNA looks at JONAH. He knows. It takes her a Moment, but DAPHNA figures it out. She is the last to know.
DAPHNA
No …
MELODY
Oh my god.
DAPHNA
Oh my god.
LIAM
I wanted to tell you the story myself. I wanted you to hear it from me.
DAPHNA
No fucking way.
MELODY
In Aspen?
LIAM
Yes.
MELODY
How long were you planning this?
LIAM
For a while. Since December. Since November. Since I first met you.
DAPHNA
Am I the only one who feels like the walls are caving in?
MELODY
I can’t believe—
DAPHNA
You were going to put our grandfather’s chai around her?
MELODY
I can’t believe …
DAPHNA
Is this like, symbolic? Did you have a ring? Tell me you have a ring. Or were you planning to give it to her?
Beat.
You were gonna fucking give Poppy’s chai to this fucking piece of music?
LIAM
I love you.
MELODY
Baby.
DAPHNA
Hold the horses. What the FUCK?!? You can’t— Jonah! You can’t— You wanna talk about dead bodies? Over my dead body is she gonna sport my dead grandfather’s Holocaust Hebrew chai around her Christian cunt neck.
JONAH
Daphna, don’t.
DAPHNA
Over my dead Jewish corpse is that going on her. You wanna marry a non-Jew? Knock yourself out. Have a great time. Shicksa heaven. Best wishes. But Poppy’s chai is never going around her neck. Never ever never ever ever.
LIAM
Unfortunately, Diana, that’s not something you have a say in.
DAPHNA
LIAM
Actually, it isn’t.
MELODY
Baby.
DAPHNA
Jonah. Jonah, is that what you want for Poppy’s chai?
JONAH
I’m not getting involved—
DAPHNA
You’re involved Jonah. You’re involved. This is our grandfather. This is Poppy. You can’t not get involved because you get freaked out. You’re involved. Do you want Poppy’s chai to go to someone who isn’t one of the three of us? Honestly think about that.
Do you?
Beat. (This is the longest beat in the play.)
JONAH
No.
Beat.
DAPHNA
Thank you. Thank you. You don’t get to do this. Two to one. Go get a ring. Ok? But you don’t get to give away things that don’t belong to you, you don’t—
LIAM
If he didn’t want it to belong to me, then why do I have this?
LIAM takes Poppy’s chai out of his pocket. DAPHNA was not prepared for this. Stunned, she watches him move toward MELODY.
LIAM
(To MELODY.)
I’m sorry. I tried. I really, really tried and I promise I will do a better job next time. I promise. Ok? Being with you makes me want to try harder— I wanted to do this in Aspen but—
DAPHNA
Wait. Wait. Just— You can’t do this.
LIAM
Watch me.
DAPHNA
Just hear me out. Please. Just— How can you do this, when you have seen the numbers on your own grandfather’s arm?
LIAM
Do NOT holocaust me—
DAPHNA
Don’t you know what— don’t you see how this little object is— don’t you care?, that if you put that around her neck, you’re killing something.
LIAM
Killing something?
DAPHNA
Something that matters.
LIAM
It doesn’t matter.
DAPHNA
You are Poppy’s grandson. You know it matters.
LIAM
Not to me.
DAPHNA
You’re getting a Ph.D. in cultural studies!
LIAM
So?
DAPHNA
So culture matters! Who people are, matters. Look at the Nobel Prizes— look at how disproportionately Jewish people have achieved in economics, literature, science—
LIAM
Are we really gonna do chosen people talk? Really?
DAPHNA
22%! That’s the percentage of Nobel Prize winners who are Jewish.
LIAM
Now you’re memorizing Jewish statistics? Fuck.
DAPHNA
Do you know what our global population is? It’s not 22%, not even close.
LIAM
So in the hopes of more Jews winning Nobel Prizes I should marry a Jew? Is that seriously your point?
DAPHNA
No my point is, play this out. You get married, you two get married and you have kids, so they’re half-Jewish and half-Delaware. And that kid marries someone who is Asian, and they have a kid, so that kid is a quarter Jewish, a quarter Delaware, and half Asian, and that kid marries someone who is half-black and half-Puerto Rican and they have a kid, and so that kid is—
LIAM
They’re American!
DAPHNA
In a couple generations, all these kids are running around bearing the hyphenated names of cultures that no longer exist. It’ll be just one giant globalized corporate world populated by one kind of people, who all speak one language and shop at the same store and all look the same. That’s how it ends up unless—
MELODY
No, it’s like that John Lennon song! It’s our country, like, succeeding. Like, progress! No nations, no religions, no—
DAPHNA
A world without Jews is progress?
MELODY
I didn’t say—
DAPHNA
A girl with blonde hair and blue eyes should not be telling me a world without Jews is progress.
LIAM
You’re the one who sounds like a Nazi. Keeping the race pure? You sound like a Nazi.
DAPHNA
How does your half-Jewish daughter teach her one-quarter Jewish daughter to be Jewish? Exactly how does that work?
LIAM
What do you want her to teach her? Bible stories? When was the last time you actually read the Bible, cause I’d be curious to know which part of it speaks to you? The part that says women were made from the ribs of men? That lying with a man as you lie with a woman is an abomination? Or best of all for you, a woman who is menstruating is impure and touching her makes you unclean? Is that what you want to preserve? Or do you just like the “traditions?” Is your Judaism a totally infantilized version that gives you the warm fuzzies cause it reminds you of Poppy and being a little kid, some sugar-coated memories of a childhood that wasn’t even that sweet, because if I know you at all, I know there’s no way you could read any of that stuff without having to modify a thousand and one sections and pretend not to see a thousand more until you water it down so thoroughly to make it palatable for your twenty-first century sensibilities that it barely resembles the original at all. I’m sorry, but I can’t get worked up about preserving a totally watered down version of something that wasn’t even true to begin with, and I’m not going to allow it to dictate how I live my life or who I choose to live my life with so I can genetically or biologically pass on something I don’t even believe in.
Beat. DAPHNA is quiet, calm, sad.
DAPHNA
Ok. So stop. You know what? Let’s all stop. Let’s all decide, right now, we’re going to stop being Jewish. That’s what you want? You think you’re the first person to ever question it? Cause I bet there were people before us who had questions too, but they kept practicing. They didn’t stop. None of them did. And they didn’t exactly have it easy, but they never stopped. And this thing that people in our family were doing in 1900 and in 1800 and in 1500 and in 200 and in 500 BCE made it all the way here to us. That alone has got to at least give you pause. And so now, when it’s easier to be Jewish than it has ever been in the history of the world, now when it’s safest, now we should all stop?
I can’t. I can’t.
And if I know you at all, you don’t want me to stop either. Because if I stop, if we all stop, it will be gone. And you can’t get it back. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
Beat. A long Moment. The room is still. No one moves.
LIAM
You know what all this late night Vassar dorm room Hillel Club conversation sounds like to me?
DAPHNA
Like Nazis, I know.
LIAM
No.
DAPHNA
Like white supremacists.
LIAM
No no. It sounds to me like, you sound like someone who’s never been in love.
DAPHNA
What?
LIAM
You sound—
DAPHNA
That’s not true. That’s not even true. Gilad and I— if you ever took an interest in anyone other than yourself, you would know, Gilad and I are getting married.
LIAM
Pause.
I don’t think Gilad is real.
DAPHNA
Uhm, ok, are we getting like Plato cave reality bullshit now? Cause I can show you his profile on Facebook?
LIAM
If you were in love with someone, in reality, not in your imagination, but in reality, if anyone had ever loved you—
DAPHNA
Gilad loves me.
LIAM
If Gilad really loved you, you would understand what Melody and I are all about. But you don’t. Because you’ve never had that. And you know what? I bet you never will.
DAPHNA
Wow. Thank you.
LIAM
You’re welcome.
I love this woman.
I love you.
And this obviously isn’t how I had planned for this to go, but here we are, in this horrible situation, and the only way I’m surviving it is … If things had gone as planned, I would have told you the story about how my grandfather met a woman who made him want to live after he’d been through the worst things a person can go through, and obviously that hasn’t been my experience, but when I told him I found someone who made me feel that way—
DAPHNA
He was in a coma!
LIAM
He said, then you need to—
DAPHNA
He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t talk!
LIAM
You ask that girl to marry you. So Melody, will you marry me?
MELODY
Liam.
LIAM
You want me to get on my knees? I will get on my knees. Melody: Will you marry me?
MELODY
Yes.
LIAM
This belongs to you now.
DAPHNA
Don’t put that …
Don’t you put that …
DON’T YOU FUCKING PUT THAT AROUND HER NECK!
He puts the chai around MELODY’s neck. She is moved, and uncomfortable.
DAPHNA explodes.
DAPHNA
NO!
DAPHNA grabs the chai and tries to rip it off MELODY’s neck. MELODY cries out in pain. LIAM grabs DAPHNA and tries to pull her off. MELODY is choking. JONAH tries to separate the women, but someone grabs at his forearm in the process. He yelps in pain and backs away.
DAPHNA
THIS. DOESN’T. BELONG. TO. YOU.
DAPHNA succeeds in ripping the chain off MELODY’s neck. MELODY falls to a puddle on the floor. DAPHNA, breathless, holds the chai balled up in her closed fist and paces while LIAM comforts MELODY, who doesn’t move.
LIAM
Are you ok?
Honey? Are you …
LIAM looks at DAPHNA, but says nothing.
Do you want to— let me see your neck. Do you want to go to the hospital?
MELODY
(Still balled up.)
Is it bleeding?
LIAM
MELODY
Not really?!?
MELODY shoots up. She’s hysterical.
LIAM
No.
MELODY
Liam! I’m bleeding!
LIAM
Not really—
MELODY
Take me to the hospital. I want to go to the hospital.
LIAM
Really?
MELODY
Yes! I’m bleeding! And that thing is rusty! I could have been—
LIAM
It’s made of gold, gold doesn’t—
MELODY
It was in someone’s mouth! I could have an infection. I want to go to the hospital.
LIAM
Really?
MELODY
Yes. Really.
LIAM
Ok.
No one moves. They don’t know what to do.
MELODY
Really, Liam!
LIAM gathers their belongings.
MELODY
Don’t talk to her. Don’t even look at her.
Don’t even look at her.
Beat.
LIAM
Come on.
Come on. Let’s go get a cab.
He tries to get MELODY to take an interest in her coat, but she’s still staring at DAPHNA.
Let’s go.
After a beat, they exit. JONAH and DAPHNA are alone.
DAPHNA
I don’t even want it. I don’t even—
JONAH
Shut up.
DAPHNA
I don’t! He pushed me, he pushed me from the minute he got here.
Am I in trouble?
JONAH looks at her but says nothing. He starts to turn off the lights in the room, getting ready for bed.
DAPHNA
Do you think she’s ok?
JONAH
She’s fine.
DAPHNA
Do you think they’ll come back? After the hospital?
JONAH
Uhm, no.
DAPHNA
Where will they go?
JONAH looks at DAPHNA.
DAPHNA
Do you think—
JONAH
DAPHNA
You’re done?
JONAH
I’m … tired.
DAPHNA
Are you mad at me?
JONAH
I want to go to bed.
DAPHNA
Why are you mad at me what did I—
JONAH
I’m done.
DAPHNA
But I was only—
JONAH
I’m done.
DAPHNA
I wish Gilad was here—
JONAH
Stop it, everyone knows—
DAPHNA
But what Liam said isn’t true—
JONAH
Everyone knows. Stop.
DAPHNA
Oh.
A long, intense Moment for DAPHNA.
Then JONAH unbuttons his left cuff, rolling up the sleeve to his elbow. His forearm is bandaged.
DAPHNA
Jonah. What …
DAPHNA
Jonah. Is that real?
He nods.
Why did you do that?
Poppy’s numbers on your own arm? Jonah.