The landscape—easier to navigate when they first entered it—was now ridden with obstacles. Each step Neena and Kai took came with the fear of a foot sliding too harshly on a plethora of rocks. Normally, a twisted ankle would've slowed Neena's pace notably, but now they had greater threats. They conversed little as they contended with the rockier path, concentrating on each footfall. A few times, they stopped to tap smaller trees for their water, getting enough of a drip to keep them hydrated. The sun had turned a hot day into a sweltering one. Kai wiped his brow more than she had noticed earlier.
Eventually, they reached an area of compacted ground, with fewer pitfalls.
Kai seemed lost in thought.
"You seem as if you are thinking about something," Neena noticed, as she returned her flask to her belt from a drink.
"I was wondering about the years we've lived side by side, without knowing about each other," Kai said. "And that reminded me of something you said earlier."
"What?" Neena asked.
"You told me that your people often wander into the desert when they are ill, before they die," he said. "That makes me surprised that we have never met any of them."
"Our people find them," Neena explained. "Most of the ill go off without their belongings, leaving their personal items to their relatives. They bring none of their possessions, so that their death is certain. We recover most of the bodies and bring them back for burial."
Kai nodded.
Speaking of the dead brought some emotions to the surface that Neena had never had a real chance to process. One particular memory weighed on Neena as she walked. She concentrated on her footsteps, until some of her memories came out into words.
"I remember the day I found my father," she recalled, not realizing that she was going to speak until the words spilled out. "It was several weeks after he left."
Kai looked over sympathetically, waiting for her to explain.
"My father was a spiritual man," she continued. "He believed in the powers of our ancestors, and the heavens. And so I respected his wishes and did not go after him, until later." She paused a moment, making sure she explained her tradition properly. "If I were to find him before he died, he might not make it to the heavens."
"I understand."
"In the days after he left, my brothers kept asking questions. They were young, and they didn't understand our tradition. Or maybe they didn't want to. They asked me to go after him right away. A few times, I had to stop my oldest brother from leaving on his own. Eventually, I promised Raj that I would search for him when I hunted. I remember the looks on my brothers' faces as I said goodbye for my first hunt. They hoped for a miracle that I knew I wouldn't be able to give them. But I had no choice except to leave. We needed food. It was my first time, going out without my father."
"You were the provider."
Neena nodded. "I was all we had." She sighed, looking into the sky a moment, before continuing her story. "It was strange, walking through the desert without my father. I was used to talking with him, asking questions. It felt as if he should be by my side, even though he wasn't, or that maybe I would find him somewhere, waiting. A part of me wondered if maybe our ancestors performed some miracle and took away his sickness." Neena sighed. "It was a childish hope that even I didn't believe, but my brothers' faith was infectious."
Kai nodded.
"I searched for a while without finding him. I scoured the desert, and some of the caves and old fires near where we stayed, with his spear in my hand. Eventually, I came across a circle of rocks about a half day outside of our colony. As soon as I approached, I realized I would find him there. It was the first place we stopped, on our first hunt. It was the place where he took my shoulders, held my eye, and told me that I needed to be strong, if anything were to happen to him. It was the place where he taught me how to hold my spear."
"He sent you a sign, even in his death."
"He did," Neena said, quickly blotting away a tear. "His body was there, leaning against a rock. He wanted me to find him, so that I would remember our talk, years ago. I'll never forget that conversation. When I close my eyes, I can still see his face, and I can hear the things he taught me. They guide me on every hunt. And his spear reminded me of him. Of course, now that is gone."
"I am sorry."
"You do not have to be sorry." Neena composed herself. "He was loved, and he was buried. Sometimes, that is all we can hope for in this life."
They walked further, watching their feet, while Kai allowed her some respectful silence. "How did your brothers react when you brought him back?"
"I never brought him back," Neena said, lowering her head as she made an admission. "I was alone, with no one with me to help with his body. And so I buried my father in the desert, underneath those stones, where no one would find him. In some way, I wanted to preserve my brothers' hope." She tightened her grip on the spear. "I am not sure if that was the right thing to do."
"You did what you thought was best," Kai said.
"It was the decision I made at the time." Neena gazed into the clear sky. "Perhaps one day I will tell my brothers the truth. I think Raj suspects that there is something I haven't told him. But hopefully, for now, they will carry him in their hearts."