Griffin
I sat against one of the columns, my knees drawn up, my arms resting on them. I bowed my head, hiding my face. I didn’t want to look at Whyborne, or Christine, or even kindly Iskander. Or Jack, who thought he was saving me, and instead brought me to this.
I wanted to cry. Or scream, perhaps.
“Here, darling.” Whyborne knelt beside me. “Drink some water.”
I took his canteen and drank obediently. The others all hovered a short distance away, giving us the illusion of privacy. Once I’d finished, he wet his handkerchief and wiped tenderly at my face. Washing away the blood.
“Are you all right?” he asked. “No—no, of course you aren’t. What a stupid question.”
I leaned my head back against the column. A soldier drifted out of the shadows at the back of the great hall, and I watched its progress. What did it think of us? Did it have opinions separate from the Mother of Shadows, or did the communal nature of their thoughts render them less individual, more like a single organism?
If so, no wonder they went mad in isolation.
“One of them killed Glenn.” Tears burned my eyes, and it was everything I could do to hold them back.
Whyborne sighed and lowered himself beside me. His hand found the nape of my neck, gently massaging the tension there. “I know.”
The tenderness of the gesture set loose the tears I’d fought against. “I feel like I’m betraying him. How can I possibly pity the monster that killed him? How can I set more of them loose on the world?”
Whyborne’s hand stilled. “You won’t.”
His words made no sense. “Won’t what? Pity it? I don’t want to, God. But I can’t forget what I saw, what I felt.”
“No.” He withdrew his hand, and my skin felt cold in the absence of his touch. “You won’t set more of them loose on the world.”
The possibility Whyborne wouldn’t know how to destroy the seals hadn’t even occurred to me. “There must be a way—some spell you can use. Did you bring the Arcanorum?”
Whyborne sighed. “That isn’t what I meant.” He bit his lip. “When I removed the curse from the pearl back in Widdershins, I forced my way through. I could feel the weave of the spell, but it wasn’t enough to use effectively. Here, with something so large, simply battering my way through a thin spot isn’t going to work.”
“But if I agree to let her change me, I can guide you,” I said. This would work. It had to. “We can do this, Ival. We have to try.”
He shook his head. “No.”
I couldn’t be hearing him correctly. “What do you mean? You’re trapped here!”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Our raised voices had to be getting the attention of the rest, but neither of us looked anywhere but at each other. “You said it yourself, though. We’ve seen the damage just one of these umbrae can do on their own. Their creators—our creators, whatever they were—sealed them away out of fear!”
“So? Does it make them evil, any more than the ketoi are?”
“The ketoi weren’t shut away in the depths.” Whyborne shook his head. “The risk is too great. We’ll pretend to agree, we’ll go to the door, and—”
“No!” I rose to my knees to face him. “I’m not leaving you here.”
“You don’t have a choice!” He dashed the back of his hand angrily over his eyes. “People will die—”
I grabbed the front of his coat, hands fisting in the thick leather. “I’d watch the world burn if it meant keeping you safe!”
My shout reverberated through the enormous hall. Whyborne stared at me, eyes wide. No one else said anything, and even the umbrae stilled.
“You don’t mean that,” he said at last.
“Of course I do.” I gripped his coat more tightly, as if I could force him to understand. “You think I’m a good man? Selfless? Noble?” A hollow laugh threatened to escape me, but I swallowed it down. “I play at being those things. I try to do what’s right. But I would do anything to keep you safe.”
“Even unleash the very creatures that killed your partner?”
“Glenn is dead.” I felt scraped raw, split open, a nerve exposed to air. “Maybe he’d hate me for doing this. Maybe he’d understand. I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter. I love you, Ival. More than anything in this world. More than everything else in the world put together. And I will not leave you here to die. To hell with the cost.”
Tears gathered in his eyes, and he blinked rapidly. “Griffin...” he said, but didn’t seem to have any idea what to say next.
Christine, naturally, did. “Don’t be a fool, Whyborne,” she snapped as she approached, still leaning heavily on Iskander for support. “We aren’t leaving you here, and that’s that.”
“These are the sort of things my family is supposed to kill,” Iskander said to her with a frown. “You can’t seriously be suggesting we let them loose!”
How could he say such a thing, after all we’d risked to save our loved ones? “If Christine were the one trapped here, I rather expect you’d feel differently.”
“Whyborne’s the sort of thing you’re supposed to go around killing too, isn’t he?” Christine pulled away from Iskander roughly. “Are you going to do away with him next? Go back to Widdershins and murder Heliabel and Persephone?”
“It bloody well isn’t the same and you know it!”
“Why not?” Jack asked. He held up his hands quickly. “No one start yelling at me. I’m not going to say what you think.” His gaze went to Whyborne. “All I know is Nicholas told me my brother was in danger, because he’d befriended a monster who would use and then murder him. Dr. Whyborne was a dangerous maniac who needed to be put down like a dog. Maybe Nicholas was deceived by these Endicott people, I don’t know. But I know I was wrong.”
Despite everything, my heart lightened. “Jack...”
“I’d be a blind fool not to see he cares about you,” Jack said with a rueful smile. “And given what you said to me earlier, it’s clear Nicholas and I made a bad mistake. You didn’t need saving.”
“Thank you,” I said.
Christine scowled at the mention of Turner. “And what does this have to do with the umbrae?”
“We assumed Dr. Whyborne was a danger to Griffin because of his inhuman blood. Because if he isn’t even human, how could he be...”
“A real person?” Whyborne snapped.
Jack had the grace to look shamefaced. “If you want to think of it that way. So I wanted to ask, is there any reason to think the umbrae will do something terrible if the seals are broken?”
“They were sealed away by their own creators,” Whyborne repeated stubbornly.
“Aren’t masters always afraid of their slaves?” Jack asked. “Afraid of rebellion? If a man abuses a dog and makes it vicious, of course he ends up fearing it might turn on him, too.” He shook his head. “Whatever happened, it was a long time ago. From what Griffin said, it sounds like the umbrae in Chicago and Egypt were twisted and broken by the sorcerers who bound them.” He turned to me. “Griffin, when the Mother of Shadows possessed you, did you get any sense she wants to kill everyone in sight the second she’s loose?”
I didn’t want to remember her in my brain. Controlling my voice while I could only watch and listen.
And feel. “She’s furious,” I said honestly. “Turner came in here and took away a child, her child. But she knows we’re her only hope of getting it back.”
“And will she kill us for refusing?” Jack asked.
I frowned, searching my memories. “I don’t think so. She knows we aren’t responsible for the theft of the chrysalis. But even if she lets us leave, Whyborne will be trapped.”
“Whatever the case, we have to make a decision soon,” Christine pointed out. “The seals are at their weakest tonight. We either break them in the next few hours, or the point becomes moot.” She glanced first at me, then at Whyborne. “I vote for listening to Griffin and Jack.”
Whyborne flung up his hands. “This isn’t up for a vote! I’m not going to let some creature tamper with Griffin’s mind, no matter what.”
“That isn’t your decision,” I said.
Whyborne paled. “Griffin, you can’t.”
Exhaustion ate at my bones. How long had it last been since any of us slept? And how long would it be until we could again? “You do understand if you decide not to tear down the seals, I’m staying with you.”
Fear flickered in his dark gaze. “You can’t be serious.”
“I assure you I am.” I took his left hand with mine, so our rings caught the light. “I vowed to stand by you for as long as we both shall live. I won’t forsake you now, Ival. Even if it means dying here beside you in the dark.”
He closed his eyes, head bowed. His throat worked as he swallowed hard. “I...just give me a minute. I need to think. Please.”
It hurt to let go of his hand. I wanted to argue with him further, to force him to listen to me. But I couldn’t. “All right,” I said.
He walked away, arms wrapped tightly around himself. I made myself turn away and go to the wall near the entrance, where I lowered myself to the floor. I wanted to curl up against the wall, put my head on my arms, and lose myself in sleep. Forget the umbrae, and sorcerers, and my fear Whyborne wouldn’t listen.
And forget my guilt most of all, my betrayal of Glenn’s memory. If he could see me now from his place in heaven, would he curse my name?
Boots scuffed on the floor and I opened eyes I didn’t remember closing. Jack slid down to sit beside me. He was as pale and filthy as the rest of us, and I tried to imagine how this must all seem to him.
“How are you holding up?” I asked.
“Better than I have any right to, probably.” He smiled wanly. “Of course, if we survive this, I’m going to get roaring drunk for a week.”
“I may just join you.”
“I’ll buy the first round.” He looked away for a moment, then back at me. “I’m sorry, Griffin. I should have kept pushing Nicholas for answers, once I realized Dr. Whyborne wasn’t the monster I expected. I should have pushed him to take a harder look himself, to not believe whatever his cousins told him.”
“You still think it’s all just a mistake on his part?” I asked. “Even after he stabbed Christine? Abandoned them with the umbrae?”
Jack tilted his head back, unspoken grief welling in his eyes. “I don’t know. He wants to change the world, to save people, but I don’t see how he can think this is right.”
“I understand,” I said, and I did. “I joined the Pinkertons because I wanted to make the world a better place. But I saw how far men would go, the things they’d do, when convinced of their own righteousness. And the Endicotts are very, very convincing.”
“I suppose you’re right.” He flashed me a wan smile. “I just wanted to say, whatever happens, I’m with you.”
“I appreciate it.”
He nodded in the direction Whyborne had gone. “For now, though, it looks as if your fellow has come to a decision.”
Fear crawled in my belly, but I forced myself to me feet. “Then by all means, let’s see what he has to say.”