Elena
I don’t agree with some of the Catholic church’s doctrines, but I don’t think that matters. I think it’s good to question and make decisions for myself. Even though I don’t see eye to eye with my church on all things, I find immense comfort within these brick walls.
The smell of incense, the stained-glass windows representing the Stations of the Cross, the ceremony of Communion. All of it gives me comfort, starting my week off right.
My entire family attends each week, although one of us might skip for a good reason here and there—and yes, I realize spending the day in bed with a man is not a good enough reason. After church, we’ll often go out to an early lunch together, a favorite being Olive Garden.
Today, everyone is in attendance, which in addition to my parents includes five brothers, three sisters-in-law, two nephews, and four nieces, although the newest little niece, Emily, is in the cry room with her mom this morning. We take up two pews, the Costieri family, but such is the Catholic way of life. It feels good to be out and about, especially after I hugged my parents’ couch most of yesterday.
I had been slightly annoyed at the way my mom had hovered over me all morning, but by the time Jorie had brought me back from my breakup with Benjamin, all I’d wanted was my mom to baby me.
I mean… I think we broke up. I try to replay our last words, and I’m not sure. We’d left it sort of vague. Benjamin said he feared the pain of losing me, I’d said he was stronger than he gave himself credit for, and then… I walked away. That part felt right for sure. I’d said all I could.
Communion has just concluded, the last few rows of parishioners filing back into place. Our priest is making some announcements, and I’ve tuned out. I slip my phone out of my purse, which was put on vibrate the minute I walked in after an incredibly embarrassing moment about two years ago when “Hell’s Bells” rang out loudly one time when my boyfriend called me.
I shoot off a quick text to Jorie. Let’s go shopping for baby clothes today.
Ever at the ready to have my back. Sure you wouldn’t rather go to a bar and just get drunk?
You’re pregnant. You can’t drink.
But I can listen, she wrote back. And be your DD.
My mother leans over to hiss in my ear. “You put that phone away right now, young lady. We are in God’s house.”
Smirking, I duck my head and shoot Jorie a quick text. Call you in a few minutes once I get out of church.
Tilting my head up, I find my mom glaring at me, but she can’t hide the tiny quirk to her lips because part of her likes I’m still a brat. Her eyes move to my stitches and soften, mouth turning into a frown. She knows not only my head was broken, but also my heart was as well. She gives me a pat on my leg before returning her attention up to the altar. The ending processional has started, and the congregation stands.
I sing under my breath as I have the worst voice in the world. After the processional, we start to file out of the pews. I follow my mom, nodding and smiling at people I know. We shuffle down the main aisle, the process slow-going as people will be pausing to shake hands and say a few words with our priest at the doors.
Keeping my head down so as not to run over my mom, I consider Jorie’s proposal. Maybe getting drunk today isn’t such a bad idea. It could temporarily obliterate Benjamin from my mind. Or it could make me stupid enough to drunk call him.
Ugh. Not a good idea.
And then, for some reason, I know I must look up. I raise my head, scanning the back pews, and right there… in the last row on the end, Benjamin sits and stares.
He’s dressed in a tan suit with a pale blue shirt. Hair slicked back rather than his mussed look, beard perfectly trimmed.
Benjamin.
Sitting in an actual house of God. I’m surprised he hasn’t burst into flames over the abhorrence I’m sure he’s feeling to be in here.
When he smiles, my heart trips. He gives a slight jerk of his head toward the exit, a silent request I meet him outside. I nod in return.
Standing with cane in hand, he merges into the shuffling crowd ahead of me and I lose sight of him.
Eager to see what he’s doing here, I give a tiny nudge to my mom’s back, urging her to move faster. Of course she can’t, and she whips around to glare. I duck my head, giving her a submissive apology.
Practically bouncing from foot to foot as we make our way out of church, a million thoughts run through my head.
He’s here to proclaim his love.
Or give me a pair of panties I’d mistakenly left at his place.
No, he wouldn’t come to church to do that.
Would he?
I mean… maybe to thumb his nose at God?
Ugh… why can’t these people hurry?
And then, my parents are shaking hands with the priest. I’m almost free. I resist the urge to push them past Father Gaul, then I’m right in front of him. His kind blue eyes rest on my stitches, and he brings his hand to the top of my head.
He murmurs a short prayer, then says, “I’ve been praying for you, my child.”
“Thank you, Father Gaul,” I say softly, then turn away from him, but my mother blocks my way.
Going to my tiptoes, I scan the crowd below the dozen or so steps leading out of the church. I can’t see Benjamin anywhere.
Maybe he was a figment of my imagination. Or someone who looked like Benjamin.
The people in the crowd are moving a little more freely, crisscrossing my line of sight and moving left and right to the two parking lots on either side of the church.
And then… like God parting the Red Sea for Moses, a path parts and I finally see him.
Across the street, leaning against his Audi that’s parked there.
It’s a damn Sixteen Candles moment. He’s even got his hands tucked into his pocket, pulling one out to hesitantly wave.
I resist the dorky move to look around as if it’s not me he’s here for, because I know better than that. Putting my hand on my mom’s shoulder, I lean into her. “I’m going to skip lunch today.”
She turns to me. “Are you feeling okay?”
I nod toward Benjamin. “Yes.”
Her eyes slide across the street to take him in. She’s my mom, so her lips flatten and she glares at him before saying, “His apology better be good.”
“Might not be an apology at all,” I say.
“If that’s the case, call me and I’ll set your brothers on him. They’ll teach him a lesson.”
I snort, then lean in to give her a kiss. “Call you later, Mamá. Love you.”
“Love you too,” she replies.
Taking a deep breath, I stare at Benjamin. He doesn’t move to me, but rather waves me over to him. I note he doesn’t have his cane now so he must have put it in the car, which must mean he doesn’t plan on staying long.
Oh shit… this is probably a final breakup meeting.
My stomach turns with dread as I make my way down the steps. I stop for several cars before I’m able to cross the street.
Smiling, he pushes off the Audi.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“There’s someone I want you to meet,” he replies. I’m dumbfounded, thinking this is beyond weird.
Benjamin takes my hand and leads me around the back of his car to the passenger side. The front window rolls down and I stare at a woman who, while I’ve never seen a picture of her, I know she’s Benjamin’s mom. She was flying in this morning for a visit, which is something I’d managed to put out of my mind until just now.
I smooth my hair down in a nervous gesture. Benjamin’s hand goes to my lower back, urging me forward just a bit closer as if assuring me she won’t bite. His mom smiles broadly, then sticks a hand out the window. “Hi, Elena… it’s so wonderful to meet you.”
Of course, I take her hand, but my smile falters. I’m faltering. “Nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Hewitt.”
She waves a hand. “Please… call me Kathy.”
Not able to contain my confusion anymore, I just ask Benjamin point blank, “What’s going on here?”
His mother smiles before the window slowly rolls up to give us privacy. Benjamin looks a little discombobulated as he glances over the top of his car back to the church.
“That was weird,” he says softly, giving a nod at the chapel. “Sitting in church.”
“Not your thing,” I remind him. “I get it.”
“It could be my thing,” he replies, eyes on me. “With you, that is.”
I shake my head, brows furrowed. “I’m sorry… I feel like I’m in the twilight zone. Yesterday, I got the distinct impression we were over, and now you show up at my church with your mom.”
Benjamin chuckles as he points a finger at the passenger window behind which his mother sits. “That’s sort of my grand gesture.”
I frown in further confusion. “Grand gesture?”
He gives me a sheepish smile and a tiny shrug. “I thought introducing you to my mother would show you how serious I am.”
“Serious about what?” I ask, although I’m starting to clue in at this point.
“About you,” he replies, hand going to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. His eyes roam over my face. “I wanted to show you I wasn’t afraid to move forward. To build on what we already have. Make a life together.”
My head swims from the implications of those words. He seems so sure, yet… he’s flaked out on me because of his fears twice now.
“That’s a big turnaround from yesterday,” I say.
He shakes his head. “Not really. I knew what my choices were, and I just had to make the decision. Go forward or backward. It was pretty simple once I really thought about it.”
“Simple?” I ask with a wry smile.
“Yeah,” he replies, his hands coming to my waist to draw me closer. My hands rest on his arms, and I tip my head back to look up at him. “My love for you simply outweighed my fears.”
“Love?” My voice is so faint I can barely hear it, but, fortunately, he does.
He nods, his eyes solemnly locked onto mine. “Yeah… I love you, Elena. So incredibly deeply. I can’t let you just walk out of my life. In fact, I’ve been thinking, and I’m fairly sure God put you in my path for a reason.”
“What’s that?” I whisper.
“So I can live again,” he says. “Love again. It’s a gift that’s been handed to me, and I can’t ignore it. So please put me out of my misery and tell me I still have a chance with you. I haven’t irrevocably ruined things, right?”
My smile is coy as I shake my head, stepping in closer. I bring my hands up to touch the nape of his neck, then go to my tiptoes to put my face as close to his as I can. “I love you, too.”
“Thank fuck,” he mutters just before kissing me. A sweet, soul-stealing kiss that’s filled with so much promise my heart flutters in response.
He pulls back. “I’m in it for good, Elena. I promise.”
I give him my own pledge in return. “I’m right there with you. Always.”
Benjamin grins, rubbing his nose alongside mine. When I have his eyes again, he nods at the car. “Ideally, I’d love to whisk you back to your place or mine to seal this all with orgasms, but I got Mom along for the ride. I was thinking of treating you ladies to a five-star lunch. Can you break plans with your family today?”
“They’ll totally understand,” I say, making a note to text Jorie as soon as I get into the car.
“Then your chariot awaits,” he says as he opens the back door with a flourish.
“I can get in the backseat,” Kathy immediately says, but I’m already sliding in.
“No way,” I say as I reach for the seat belt. “I’m good back here.”
Benjamin watches me for just a moment, making sure my legs are in. He mouths the words to me again.
I love you.
I silently give them back. As he shuts the door, the last thing I see is a satisfied grin on his face.
Kathy turns in her seat. “Okay… start talking. Tell me all about yourself.”
We’re chatting away like old friends by the time Benjamin rounds the car and gets into the driver’s side to whisk us off to lunch. He doesn’t interrupt or say a word, just drives with that same satisfied smile on his face.