Chapter 46

 

Alonzo, Evelyn and I went to Sparkie’s Lounge for pizza that night. I’d wanted to call Amy and invite her along, but I thought maybe it was best to butt out at this point. Clearly, she and the dentist still had things to work out. Besides, somebody had to celebrate his new-found freedom with Rick Rod.

“Man,” Alonzo said, beating me out for the last slice of pepperoni pizza, “them militia goons could’ve done some serious damage with them A-bombs. Hell, maybe you and Amy prevented another Revolutionary War.”

“It’s possible.” It was nice that my cousin had such a high opinion of me.

“The President ought to give you a damn medal,” Alonzo said, chewing up the last of the pizza.

“He’d have to ask his wife first,” Evelyn said.

 

The waitress brought us another round of Little Kings. “By the way,” the waitress said, “everything’s on the house tonight.”

“Wow,” Alonzo said.

“That’s certainly nice of you. Thanks,” I said.

“No, thank you for baggin’ that psycho pervert, Scotty Mink. Never could stand the sight of the guy. Now I know why.”

She left us alone with our Little Kings and what was left of our free ride at Sparkie’s Lounge. We sat peacefully and enjoyed the ride while Mario Lanza once again sang Because You’re Mine.

 

The whole evening had been a little bittersweet. It was way past time for me to hit the road and head south, and I knew it would be a good while before I’d be back. This wasn’t really anything new, it just felt different somehow this time. Maybe I was feeling extra sensitive because I might be leaving more behind this go-round.

 

The next morning, I woke up bright and early. I decided to pack up and hit the highway right after breakfast. After all, everything had been resolved, not counting Evelyn’s money crisis, which was the whole reason I’d come to Fogerty in the first place, but I knew my hanging around town wasn’t going to solve anything. She had her Social Security check and I could send her a little money here and there and so could my brother, Clint, and hell, maybe her applying for a job at Wal-Mart wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

I showered and packed. Evelyn had washed and folded my clothes and while I was in the bathroom, she’d stacked them on the bed next to my open suitcase. Coming from my mother, this was an extraordinarily competent and touching gesture.

When I went downstairs, I found Alonzo, Agee and my mother sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast.

“Who’s manning the air waves?” I asked.

“Didn’t we tell ya? We got us an intern from the broadcasting school,” Alonzo said.

“She’s a looker, too,” said Agee. “Might even get us another one.”

“Yeah, another one would be good,” said Alonzo. Free employees were always the best kind, especially when they were all Evelyn could afford.

I sat down and joined them for a bowl of Cheerios. Evelyn poured me coffee.

“Did you find your clean clothes?” she asked.

“Thanks, Mom. That was sweet of you.”

“Did you notice how nicely they were folded?”

“I did. Thanks again.”

“I just couldn’t send you home with dirty clothes.”

I just couldn’t say thanks one more time.

“Hey, Evelyn,” Alonzo said, “tell Kim our idea.”

“Yeah, listen to this,” Agee said.

Evelyn added milk to her coffee. “The boys and I’ve been doin’ some thinkin’ about ways to bring in some extra money and I think we hit on something real hot.” I could barely wait to hear this one.

“What do you think about us turnin’ Lake Evelyn into a pay lake?”

“A pay lake?” I said.

“Yeah,” Alonzo said, “you pay to fish, then you pay by the pound for your catch and, of course, you pay for the bait, beer, charcoal and any other damn thing we can think of to sell to you.”

“Pay lakes are real popular around here, and Lake Evelyn’s a hell of a lot nicer than any of ‘em,” said Agee.

“I’ll get my buddy from the county extension office out here to help us stock the lake and get rid of some of them weeds,” Alonzo said. “Agee and I can move the trailer over here and save on rent. There’s your bait and beer shop right there.”

They were really rolling on this one. I could see they still had a few kinks to work out, but hey, if my mother and the boys could generate some extra bucks with Lake Evelyn that was fine by me.

“Go get ‘em,” I poured a second bowl of Cheerios.

“Well, I love the idea,” Evelyn said. “And I think A.C. would’ve, too. Now who wants more coffee?”

 

We heard a car pull in the drive, and Alonzo went to the window. “It’s three guys in a black Lincoln,” he said.

“Sounds like Feds,” said Agee, sipping his coffee.

“Sounds like the Men in Black,” I said. “I thought they only showed up after a UFO sighting.” A UFO was about the only thing I hadn’t seen in the past few days.

There was a knock at a door, and Alonzo opened it. “Good morning,” said one of the men. He flashed ID. “We’re with the United States Government. We’d like to speak with Mrs. Evelyn Claypoole.” Alonzo showed them in. They looked like G-men all right. All three of them wore dark suits and aviator sunglasses and they were all in various stages of balding.

“I’m Evelyn Claypoole,” my mother said, getting up from the table. “What can I do for you boys?”

“Sorry to interrupt your breakfast,” said the tallest of the G-men. He slid off his shades. “We won’t take but a minute of your time.”

“Won’t you have a seat?” Evelyn said, motioning for Alonzo, Agee and me to give up our chairs.

“No, thank you,” the tall one said. The other two just stood there next to him, hands folded, silent as mutes.

“We’ll get right to the point. We’re here on behalf of the U.S. government. We’d like to apologize for any inconvenience that this mishap may have caused. The President himself is very pleased to know that the missing government property has now been recovered and I can assure you that we are taking care of any and all remaining details.”

“Like Larry White?” I said.

The big guy gave me a curt, but professional nod. “Precisely.”

“I’ll bet you took away his black helicopter, didn’t you?” I figured that chances were excellent that it had been Larry White buzzing the WFOG field and licking his chops at all those buried A-bombs before our little meeting at Bud’s office.

“We never believed his buffalo ranch story for one minute,” Evelyn said.

He gave us a government-issue smile. “Can’t fool you,” he said, rather patronizingly. “I’m happy to say that all of the Fogerty properties are now back in the hands of their rightful owners and we have a little something for each of you.” He reached into his jacket and presented Evelyn with what looked very much like a check.

“Please accept our most sincere apology for this unfortunate matter.”

Evelyn took the check from him. She gave it a once-over and her eyes got wide. “Fifty thousand dollars!” she said. “Apology accepted.”

 

It wasn’t a half-million, but it was just one zero shy. I could live with that and so could Evelyn.

“Of course,” he said, “due to the sensitive nature of what’s transpired here in Fogerty, we’ll have to ask you all to keep this matter exceedingly confidential and we’re fairly rigid about these things.” I’ll just bet they were, too. He reached back inside of his jacket and pulled out a pen and an official looking document. “If you would please sign here?” He showed her where.

Evelyn signed away and handed it back. “My lips are sealed,” Evelyn said, clutching her check and almost as if we’d rehearsed it, Alonzo, Agee and I all did the lip-zip thing. The G-men looked impressed.

“Well,” he said, “please get back to your breakfast. We can show ourselves out. Have a nice day.”

They started to make for the door.

“I don’t think I caught your name,” I said. If the check bounced, I wanted to know who to go after.

He turned and slipped his sunglasses back on. “Call me Mr. Black,” he said.

And then they were gone.