hen I finished with Graystone, I came outside to find that Sooz had left to take care of some other matters. Only Blue was waiting for me.

Once I’d told her what Graystone had shared, we went to work assisting Pietro with whatever he needed. I hoped that at some point I might run into Debbie, that she was one of the Fairy Godmothers flitting about here. But when I asked another Godmother I was told she had been assigned to a different attacked kingdom. I was sad to hear this. I could have used her friendly face right now.

Our school’s first aid training came in handy as we helped with the wounded. We assisted people with getting back to their carriages and onto their horses. And we coordinated with the Godmothers to take stock of how many staff and King’s Guard members we had left.

The only task I was reluctant to undertake was going inside the castle to search for survivors. I did it, of course. But it was difficult. As I stepped through the gargantuan hole in the ballroom, I felt a deep pain in my chest. The pain was like ice, and that ice only grew colder as I walked through the ballroom and entered the disarray of the corridor.

Smoke still floated from the wreckage. Debris lay everywhere with glass scattered over everything like sharp snowfall. I treaded gingerly around the disarray, reminding myself to hold it together.

No emotion. No breaking down. Do not let anyone see you cry.

When I came across my first survivor, I was relieved. I pulled one of Alex’s squires out of the mess, lifting a column off his leg. The boy was coughing a lot, and he had a broken leg, but otherwise he was fine. I helped him hobble outside to the medical tent Pietro had set up.

I journeyed back inside to continue my search. Soon after I came across my first non-survivor.

I’d never seen a dead person before. This woman was lying on the ground—dust on her face and debris on her dress. Her eyes were open, her face forever frozen in an expression of shock. I approached her slowly and felt for a pulse. There was nothing. Her skin was the temperature of snow. The black hole feeling returned to my chest, but I didn’t fold.

Part of me thought I should have shown some grand display of sobbing or emotion. But surprisingly I didn’t. I supposed I’d already seen so much horror today, my heart was wrung dry of all the sadness it could expel. Maybe that’s what that black hole feeling was. Emptiness.

I closed the woman’s eyes and closed my own for a moment as I touched her hand and said a silent prayer. Then I kept going. Because that’s all I could do.

Jason’s words from that morning came back to me in a rush:

“All we can do is try our best to move forward, do some good, and make a difference in the ways we can while we have the chance.”

A couple hours later, SJ finished brewing her antidote to the jasper berry tea. My friends and I helped administer it to the sick. Once we were done, the five of us regrouped outside.

“How are you doing?” SJ asked me, genuine concern in her voice.

“Dumb question,” Blue said. “How do you think she’s doing?”

I waved off her defensiveness. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“You’re fine?” Jason repeated, doubtfully.

“I’m handling it,” I corrected. I straightened up and cleared my throat. “We need to leave. Mauvrey and Alex took a wormhole. Graystone said they were going after Paige. I think it’s best if we didn’t wait any longer to do the same. We have our maps. We’re ready.”

“You don’t want to be here to help your family?” Jason asked. “We understand if you need to take a couple days to rest and—”

“No,” I cut him off. “I don’t need to rest. I need to do something. And the best way for me to help my family is to stop Alex from wreaking any more havoc. We leave in an hour. But first, we need to tell my parents the truth. Sooz already knows everything about the antagonists. Blue and I told her so we’d be on the same page as all the ambassadors and the Godmothers. My parents deserve my honesty too. The secret is out, so there is no sense in holding back anymore.”

“Except about your Pure Magic,” Blue said. “It’s too dangerous for anyone else to know about that yet. We don’t know what they’d do to you.”

“Agreed,” I said. “And we shouldn’t say anything about Liza being the Author, or the protagonist selection conspiracy. Lenore would make us suffer if we told anyone about either. Besides, we need Sooz and the other ambassadors on our side to deal with the antagonists and the commons rebellion.”

“All right,” Jason said. “While you talk to your parents, I’ll see about securing us a ride out of here. Lucky might not be a good option if we’re going through a wormhole. We’ll be headed into the Wonderlands and won’t be able to take him with us, which means we’d have to abandon him in whatever city we access our wormhole from. With all the chaos the realm has seen today, I don’t think leaving an unsupervised dragon somewhere is a good idea.”

“Fair point,” said Blue. “I’ll go see if there’s anything else Pietro needs before we leave.”

“I shall check on the patients who drank the antidote I brewed,” SJ added.

“And I’ll go with you,” Daniel said to me. I gave him a confused look and his expression softened. “To tell your parents,” he clarified. “You shouldn’t have to do it alone.”

The gesture surprised me, considering his stance on our relationship. But I did not question it. His instinct was good. I didn’t want to tell my parents alone.

“Um, all right,” I said. “Everyone meet back here in an hour. Make sure you are ready to go.”

My friends parted ways, all except Daniel and me. He followed me across the main lawn to a private medical tent that the Fairy Godmothers had poofed up for my parents. My mother was recuperating inside as SJ’s antidote kicked in. The Weatheralls had their own tent next door. Tunderly’s king had broken his arm in the fight, and SJ had also helped the castle nurses whip up a bone-mending potion that was healing him and the other people with damaged limbs.

I didn’t say anything to Daniel on the way to the tent. I also kept in front of him as we walked. I was committed to staying strong and not letting anyone see how I truly felt. Daniel had always possessed a talent for seeing through me, but now that he and I weren’t the friends we used to be I couldn’t let him.

“Mom, how are you feeling?” I asked my mother as I entered the tent. She was awake and a little color had returned to her face. My father was sitting in a chair next to her. A couple of our castle’s nurses moved about the room, and a cluster of Godmothers were talking in the corner.

“Crisanta, I am doing much better,” she replied. “I cannot believe how quickly this potion is working. Your friend SJ is truly a remarkable young lady.”

“I know,” I said. I just wish she did.

“Um, this is Daniel.” I gestured to the hero on my left. “I know you guys haven’t formally met. He’s my friend from school.”

“Your majesty,” Daniel said, bowing to my mother then my father. “Sir.”

My mother gave a small smile and my father stood for a moment to shake Daniel’s hand.

“Mom, Dad,” I continued. “My friends and I have to go. What I said to you the other day about us staying with Jason was a lie. We actually have another mission.”

“To stop the antagonists,” my mother interrupted. “We know. Sooz was in here a short while ago and she told us what you told her—the truth about everything.”

I cringed. “Are you mad?” I asked.

I expected them to blow up at me for throwing myself into danger so readily, and for lying. I also anticipated a slew of worry. My parents hadn’t reacted well to magic hunters trying to kill me at school. I figured they’d freak out if they knew just how many people wanted me dead because of my prologue prophecy (something else Blue and I had detailed to Sooz).

“We are not mad, Crisanta,” my mother replied, much to my disbelief. “Shocked perhaps. Concerned for you, certainly. But not mad. How could we be? You have an entire kingdom of wickedness after you in addition to magic hunters, and you have had the strength and resolve to fight back. Speaking as a protagonist, I could not be more inspired by your courage. And speaking as your mother, I could not be more proud.”

Her words filled me with warmth, humility, and surprise. While I didn’t actively seek the approval of others, getting my mother’s blessing was something truly special.

Deep down, no matter how self-accepting or accomplished we are, we always crave the approval of our parents to some degree.

“Did Sooz tell you about Paige Tomkins?” I asked, trying not to let my mother’s sentiments overwhelm me.

“The Fairy Godmother that the antagonists are looking for?” my father clarified. “Does Alex have something to do with that as well?”

Hearing my father say my brother’s name with such a hateful inflection made me pause.

“Yes,” Daniel replied on my behalf. “He and Mauvrey Weatherall have left Book to search for her in the other magical realms known as the Wonderlands. But we believe we have a means to beat them to it.”

I nodded. “My friends and I have this thing called a Hole Tracker, which allows us to find wormholes that lead to other Wonderlands. We’ve been mapping out the Wonderlands for several months so that when we went after Paige we wouldn’t be flinging ourselves into the unknown and our search would be more efficient. While I was at home, Daniel, SJ, Jason, and Blue finished the task. Now that the maps are ready we want to leave right away to stop Alex and the other antagonists before it’s too late.”

Sooz entered the tent. Her eyes widened when she saw me. “I was just speaking with your friend Jason about securing you proper transport,” she began steadily, then faltered. “Uh, Crisa, I hope you’re not upset that I told your parents what you told me.”

“I’m not,” I said. “It’s time everybody knew. In fact, I was in the middle of explaining to them that my friends and I are going after Paige and Alex.”

“Crisanta,” my mother interjected. “I understand why you think you have to do this, and like I said, I am immeasurably proud of you. But the five of you are mere children. I cannot wholeheartedly approve of you going on such a perilous quest.”

“Mom,” I said evenly. My expression was soft, but my tone immovable. “I didn’t tell you all of this because I wanted your permission. With all due respect, I don’t need it. My friends and I are doing this one way or the other. We may be kids, but we have the responsibility to take action and the power to do it. So I’m not asking you to let me go. I’m telling you that—unfortunately—you don’t have a choice.”

My father took my mother’s hand and spoke to her gently. “She will be okay,” he told her. “Crisanta can take care of herself. And her friends will take care of her too.” He looked at Daniel. “Right?”

“Yes, sir,” Daniel said with a stern nod. He seemed a bit intimidated by my dad’s intense stare. I’d never seen Daniel look intimidated before. It was kind of nice.

“You have our blessing, Crisanta,” my father continued, regarding me directly. “Whether you need it or not, you have it. Go find this Paige woman and keep her from the antagonists. Stop Alex, no matter what it takes.”

The humanizing grief I’d seen in my father earlier was gone. His tone and stature had become king-like again. His face reflected the same hardness I saw in myself. I could tell that he’d had a chance to process what happened and was resolving to bury his own heart and be what he needed to be, just as I was. As I’d always believed, I really was my father’s daughter.

He stood up straight. “I have already spoken with Pietro and the Weatheralls. Since Tunderly’s palace was also attacked, neither our home nor the Weatheralls’ is safe for the moment. The Godmothers were able to eliminate the leaders of the commons rebellion that instigated the Tunderly attack. And the ones responsible for the chaos here are either dead, in custody, or have escaped with Alex. But for now, we must temporarily relocate until the castles are safe and all remaining staff and King’s Guard have been cleared of suspicion.”

“We’ve made arrangements for the Weatheralls to stay with the Yazkavore royal family and for your parents to stay with the Darlings in Clevaunt,” Sooz said to me. “They’re the closest kingdoms, and since both are located in the North Mountains, they are heavily fortified. We’ll have Fairy Godmothers assigned there, as well as to all the other castles in the realm until this commons rebellion is stopped.”

“Good,” I said. “Because something big is coming. Anthony Graystone confirmed that the antagonists are the ones guiding the commons rebellion, and that they have something planned for the Vicennalia Aurora. We need to be ready.”

“We will be,” Sooz said.

My mother pulled herself up slightly so she was sitting upright. “When will you depart?”

“Right away,” I said. “I came to say goodbye. For now.”

“Not just yet,” my mother said. “Daniel, Susannah, all of you.” She glanced around at the Godmothers and nurses in the tent. “Will you excuse us for a minute?”

Daniel touched my arm, which caused me to flinch. “I’ll be outside.”

“No,” I said. “Go change out of your suit. I’ll meet you and the others when I’m done.”

He nodded and left the tent. Then it was just me and my parents.

I was wary at first about why they wanted to be alone, but then my mother opened her arms and motioned for me to come to her. A small piece of my vulnerability fell through and I allowed myself to lean into it. My mother enveloped me in a hug that we both really needed. When we reluctantly pulled away, she tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Be careful, Crisanta,” she said. Her eyes were glassy, but still so much like steel. “This road is a dangerous one. And we have already lost one child today.”

My father came to stand in front of me then. I tensed a bit. Despite the fact that he’d convinced my mother that I could handle this mission, interactions with him rarely ended well. I expected some comment that might lessen my resolve and make me feel small. I expected him to do that thing where he rubbed the knuckle of his pointer finger under his chin as he silently judged me. I expected him to berate me. But he didn’t.

“You know that I love you, Crisanta.”

He said it sternly, but the inflection in his tone made it seem like a question.

I nodded.

“I do,” I said. Then I felt the truth slip out of me. “You just don’t like me very much.”

My father exchanged a glance with my mother before returning his focus to me. “You couldn’t be further from the truth,” he responded. “I am harder on you. It’s true. And maybe I have always taken it easier on Alex, but it is because you are so different.”

“I know,” I said with a sigh. “He was the perfect son and prince who did what you expected. And I’m the weird rebel princess who always answers back.”

“No, that’s not what I mean,” my father corrected. “Contrary to what you might think, Crisanta, I’ve always been tougher on you because you possess something that neither of your brothers has. Your mother and I have seen it in you since you were young. There is a rare fire in your heart that can drive you to achieve more than what is expected of you. They can teach protagonists a lot of things at Lady Agnue’s and Lord Channing’s, but they cannot teach that. Alex never had it. He was strong and intelligent, but that drive—that yearning and potential to be something more—was always missing. So I kept him close and tried to encourage him as best I could. If he was going to be the next king of Midveil, I had to make sure he was ready. You didn’t need me the way that he did.”

My heart ached. “But I did need you,” I said softly. “You and I have so much in common. Do you know how much it’s always hurt that you treat me as a second to Alex?” My voice cracked. “If what you’re saying is true and you thought I had the potential to become something more, then why were you so hard on me all the time?”

“Because I wanted you to be ready,” my father said. “Having potential is a dangerous thing on its own, Crisanta. It is as much a blessing as it is a curse because it means you stand out, and there will always be people who view you as a threat because of it. But for you specifically, it is an even greater challenge. Princesses are supposed to grow up to fulfill certain expectations, live certain lives. I’ve always suspected you had the ability to surpass those archetypes, but I knew that as you got older the number of people and obstacles working against you would only increase. While showing encouragement and support to Alex was how I thought I could help him achieve his best self, I felt that giving you opposition early on—but in a safe place—would condition you to fight back.

“I wanted to make sure you could handle whatever the world threw at you. I wasn’t being hard on you because I wanted to break you. I wanted you to be ready, to be strong enough to face the challenges and people who will try to break you. Perhaps it was not the kindest lesson to lay upon your childhood, and I am sorry if it caused you to feel like I didn’t love or care for you as much as Alex—that was not my intention. It was the only way I could think to prepare you for the life you are headed toward. The life, it seems, that has already found you.”

I was too shocked to speak. Too shocked to move. There was so much buzzing about inside me that I could barely stand.

I knew I wanted to cry, but I didn’t shed a tear. I knew I wanted to say something, but I didn’t have the words. This long-awaited explanation about the rocky relationship with my father filled me with an indescribable warmth.

He didn’t dislike me. In his own weird, tough-love kind of way, he’d just wanted to help me become the person I’d always been aspiring toward.

And the thing was . . . his efforts had paid off. Over the years the way he treated me had taught me to fight back. It made me grow thick skin and a steel spine so that when I went out into the real world I was ready for much heartier foes. The defiance and strong will I’d developed at home gave me the nerve and experience I needed to stand against true opposition to my character development, like Lady Agnue, Mauvrey, Lena Lenore, and countless others. My dad had been conditioning me to face these enemies all along. He’d been trying to help me become this girl all along.

I studied my father. We shared so many qualities—the pride that made us stand tall, the fire that made us strong, and the genuine love and desire to help those we cared about. For once, I did not feel remorse about being so much like him.

I took a step forward and gave my father a hug—not the rigid, timid kind we occasionally exchanged, but a real, loving hug. As his arms wrapped around me too, and my face pressed into his chest, I told him something I hadn’t said in a long time.

“I love you, Dad.”