Q: What are prehistoric creatures called when they sleep?
A: Dinosnores!
Q: What did the mother ghost say to the
baby ghost?
A: “Spook when you’re spooken to.”
Q: How do you communicate with the Loch Ness Monster?
A: Drop her a line.
Q: What is a ghost-proof bicycle?
A: One with no spooks in it.
Did you hear about the monster with five legs? His trousers fit him like a glove.
Q: What followed the dinosaur?
A: Its tail!
Q: When do ghosts play tricks on each other?
A: On April Ghouls’ Day.
Q: What do sea monsters eat for dinner?
A: Fish and ships.
A visitor at the natural history museum asked a museum employee, “Excuse me, can you tell me how old the skeleton of that Tyrannosaurus Rex is?”
The employee replied, “It is precisely sixty million and three years, two months, and eighteen days old.”
The visitor was astounded and said, “How can you know that number with such precision?”
“Well, when I started working here,” the employee responded, “one of the scientists told me that the skeleton was sixty million years old—and that was precisely three years, two months, and eighteen days ago.”
Q: How do you stop a monster from digging up your garden?
A: Take his shovel away.
Q: What’s a monster’s favorite play?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet.
Q: What monster flies his kite in a rainstorm?
A: Benjamin Frankenstein.
A sore mummy needs a Cairopractor.
Q: What’s the most evil chord?
A: D min.
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?
A: Boonana!
Q: What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A: A wash and wear wolf.
Q: Why did the haunted house dislike storms?
A: Because the rain dampened its spirits.
Q: Why did the monster see a psychiatrist?
A: He felt abominable.
Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage.
Q: What do you call a clever monster?
A: Frankeinstein.
Q: Why are ghosts such bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them.
A ghost was barred from entry to a local pub. They don’t serve spirits.
Q: Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
A: Because they have no body to go with.
Q: How did the monster cure his sore throat?
A: He spent all day gargoyling.
If you forget to pay for your exorcism, will you be repossessed?
Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: Day scare centers.
Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A: A dead end.
Dr. Frankenstein had been working all day and night in his laboratory. Once he finally took a break, he asked his assistant, Igor, “Have you seen my latest invention, Igor? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.”
Puzzled, Igor inquired, “But what is it for, doctor?”
Dr. Frankenstein answered, “For monsters with splitting headaches, of course.”
Q: What do you get if you cross a tall green monster with a fountain pen?
A: The Inkredible Hulk.
Q: What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers?
A: “Oh good! A chew-chew train!”
Q: What would you get if you crossed a dinosaur with a pig?
A: Jurassic pork!
Q: What did one invisible man say to the other?
A: “Long time no see.”
Dr. Frankenstein went to a bodybuilding competition. It was a terrible misunderstanding.
Q: What’s the first thing the taxi driver said to the wolf?
A: Where, wolf?
Q: What is a monster’s favorite drink?
A: Demonade.
Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bamboo.