Nineteen

Lindy’s mind wandered as she gave a massage to Sheryl that afternoon. Cole was foremost in her thoughts. His passionate kisses spoke of a sexual prowess that sent jolts of desire racing through her. Her body hummed every time he was near. But there was so much more to the man than his physical attributes.

Stepping up to champion that Hispanic gentleman outside of Lowe’s showed courage and character. Giving Maria the extra money without batting an eye indicated compassion. His resolve to not allow Dalton to pressure her into shooting this morning was gallant. And his affection and concern for his mother was obvious. Even the old lady who had bumped into her car at the grocery store had been the recipient of Cole’s chivalry.

In every situation since they’d met, he’d been nothing but charming, brave, and steadfast. Except for those times when she emotionally shut down and blocked him out. That’s when sweet Cole became frustrated Cole.

Lindy couldn’t blame him—and didn’t. The same thing had happened before when people tried to get close to her. The distant attitude she was always forced to take was not only for her protection, but also for the safety of those around her. Others hadn’t understood her silence, and neither did Cole. Would he understand if she were to confide in him?

Sheryl’s sighs of relief interrupted Lindy’s musings. Lindy applied warm oil to Sheryl’s skin and used her knuckles to work the knots out of her shoulders. As soon as Sheryl quieted, Lindy’s thoughts returned to Cole and the fantasy of sharing her innermost secrets with him.

She did trust him. It was a strange revelation since they’d known each other only a short time, and she was so mistrusting in general. Without a doubt, he was the only person, besides Griffin, she felt would have her back, no matter what.

But Cole already felt torn between wanting her and sensing she was a risk to his heart. Last night parked outside his house was evidence of that emotional struggle, as well as today at the cemetery. Would telling him the truth about her situation hurt him more than her continuing to be uncommunicative? Or would her silence cause him more pain?

The truth meant she’d be moving on someday—probably sooner rather than later. And when that happened, she’d once again change her name, her hair color and her job. And she wouldn’t leave a forwarding address. She and Cole would never speak to or see each other again.

While a thrill spiraled down her spine at the thought of divulging her secret to him, Lindy sensed it would be kinder to leave things as they were. She’d be selfish to put him through more angst.

Jordan had chosen another man over Cole, and Rachel had preferred a job in Africa to a life with him. Both had bruised his heart. When Lindy left, it would be in the dead of night, with no warning and no explanation, causing him another hurt he’d have to heal on his own. The weight of responsibility for his wellbeing seemed to settle firmly between her shoulder blades. Her only consolation was that when the inevitable happened, Cole would be too angry with her to feel instant heartbreak.

“All done. Do you feel better?” she asked Sheryl while covering her body with a lightweight blanket and patting her back. Sheryl could only groan her response.

“Take your time getting up from the table,” Lindy told her. “When you’re ready, come downstairs and I’ll have a tall glass of ice water waiting for you.”

“Okay,” Sheryl moaned before Lindy left the room.

Upon returning to the ranch before lunch, Lindy had checked her schedule. Pam was set for two-thirty, and another guest had scheduled a massage for four o’clock. That would keep her busy for the afternoon.

She went downstairs to look at tomorrow’s appointments and found Ella’s office was open but unoccupied. Lindy ran her finger down the reservation book. Nelda Caldwell was booked for an early morning massage and Jordan Mackenzie was slated for ten o’clock. There was nothing else until late afternoon, so Lindy decided she’d use the free time to go to town and get her taillight fixed in the afternoon.

Meeting Jordan should be interesting, she thought as she walked to the kitchen to pour Sheryl a glass of water.

“Hello, Lindy,” Luz greeted. Her apron was dusted with flour, and she was elbow deep in biscuit dough.

“Hi, Luz. Have you seen Mrs. Roberts since this morning?” Ella hadn’t eaten lunch with the group, which worried Lindy.

Luz rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. “She’s in her room. It’s little Jill’s birthday today.”

“Cole mentioned that to me. Is Ella all right? Do you know if she needs anything?”

“She’ll be as right as rain tomorrow,” Luz replied. “We all leave her alone on Jill’s birthday.”

“I understand.” Lindy’s head swung to the staircase when Sheryl descended. “Here you go, Sheryl.” She handed her the glass of water. “Stay hydrated today.”

Sheryl drank the water and promised she would. “That was the best massage I’ve ever experienced, Lindy. My muscles don’t feel tense anymore.”

“Thank you. I’m glad I could help.”

“With a trail ride planned for every afternoon, I’m going to schedule another massage before I leave here. But right now, I’m headed to the barn. T.J. is showing us how to rope cows.” She finished the water and handed the glass to Lindy.

“Real cows?”

“Dummies. But after we learn the basics, we’re getting on our horses and trying to rope a real one. You should join us if you have time.”

“My schedule is booked this afternoon, but maybe next time. Have fun.”

Sheryl waved and exited the front door.

Lindy placed the glass in the dishwasher. “I’ve got to head back upstairs and get ready for my next massage,” she told Luz. “Do you think Mrs. Roberts will join the guests for supper tonight?”

“Probably not. I plan to take her a tray.”

Lindy frowned. Picturing Ella upstairs in her bedroom alone, grieving over her deceased daughter and husband saddened her. It also made her think about her own mother, who she hadn’t seen in such a long time.

Since her mom had been her only living relative, Griffin had given Lindy the opportunity to bring her into the program with her at the time she chose to enter. But Lindy had felt it would be unfair to uproot her mother from the home she’d lived in for over thirty years. Besides, the stress that went along with life on the run would have taken its toll on a woman her mother’s age. Stress had killed her father. There was no way she would sacrifice her mother’s life.

With sacrifice came more pain, however. The two women had not seen each other or even spoken on the phone for three years. But despite missing her mom terribly, Lindy knew it had been the right decision. She couldn’t have lived with herself if anything had ever happened to her mother.

The remainder of the day passed quickly, and when the supper hour arrived, neither Ella nor Cole attended the meal.

“I took Mrs. Roberts a tray,” Luz told Lindy after the guests and wranglers had departed. She had cleaned the kitchen and was ready to go home.

“Should I knock on her door? Ask her if there’s anything I can do to help?” Lindy asked Luz as they stood in the doorway saying goodbye.

“No. She’ll be fine in the morning.” Luz’s warm brown eyes smiled when she patted Lindy’s hand. “Thank you for being concerned for Mrs. Roberts. You’re a good woman, Lindy. I’m glad you’re here. We’re all glad you’re part of our ranch family now. See you tomorrow.”

Lindy touched her shoulder, grateful for the kind words. “Good night, Luz.”

She bolted the door and strolled up the stairs and glanced toward Ella’s room. Tiptoeing, she crept down the hall and put her ear up to the door. The television was on. She heard no crying, which she supposed was a good thing.

Taking Luz’s advice to leave Ella alone on her day of mourning, Lindy quietly padded up the hall and softly closed her bedroom door behind her and locked it. According to the talk around the supper table, the boys would be taking the guests on a moonlit hayride tonight. But Lindy didn’t feel like going. A hayride under the glow of the shimmering moon reminded her of romance. Romance reminded her of Cole and his kisses of fire.

She flopped onto the mattress on her stomach, clicked the television on and channel surfed. Hard as she tried to concentrate on one program, her mind kept wandering back to Cole. It was impossible for her body not to ignite as she recalled the way he’d pressed her against the truck door that morning and kissed her until her lips had felt bruised. If she hadn’t finally pulled away, they might have succumbed to their mutual desire right there in the cemetery.

Lindy smiled, thinking how crazy, but fun, that would have been.

Was he at home thinking about her right now? Did he regret not inviting her into his bed last night, like she did? Could he be cursing himself for not taking her back to his house today, before returning to the ranch?

She buried her head in a pillow and moaned. Despite her vow not to get tangled up in an intimate relationship, her defenses were melting with every one of Cole’s touches. With each kiss. With every sexy look, and each question he asked.

Don’t get involved. Don’t get involved. The words chanted in the back of her mind. Leave the man be. It’s better this way.

“How would it be better?” She had to ask herself. She was lonely and needed an ally. He was lonely and wanted to help. How could isolation and frustration be better than taking a chance and telling him the truth?

The answer was always the same. Because you’ll keep him alive.

Her shoulders slumped on that, and the knowledge that when she’d entered the Witness Protection Program, she’d promised to not tell anyone the truth. In doing so, she’d not only given up her identity, she’d given up her entire life; the people she cherished, a satisfying career, and perhaps even marriage and a family. She’d sacrificed everything to stay alive. But at what cost to her happiness?

She’d agreed to it all back then, thinking she had no other option. But the extent of the loss was fully understood now that she’d come to the ranch and met Cole.

A tear rolled down her cheek as Lindy flipped onto her back. Then a revelation struck her like a lightning bolt. She shuddered, swallowed hard, and stayed with the notion as it rooted itself deep in her heart.

The next time there was an opportunity to let Cole know how she felt about him she was going to grab it. Yes! She’d grab her chance the same way cowboys took down cows—with confidence, grit, and by the horns. And if it went well, Cole wouldn’t know what had hit him.