There were a gaggle of women surrounding me. The music was loud and obnoxious, and the stares of almost everyone in the room were on me. Even though I was in LA, a city full of rich and beautiful people, I still stood out. Single and good-looking, I was someone that men and women alike envied and wanted.
Marianna stood about ten yards away from me, her hands wrapped around a blonde’s waist as they made out. She kept peeking glances at me to see if I was watching, and I nodded every so often, but frankly, I didn’t care. I didn’t find it to be a turn on whatsoever.
I sipped on my rum and Coke and looked at my watch. I was ready to go home, but I had detoured my trip to come to LA. I couldn’t let it be for nothing.
“Hey, Brody.” Marianna walked up to me, holding the hand of the blonde she’d been snogging.
“What’s up?”
“I’m so glad you made it to LA. I wish you were pitching for the Dodgers, though.”
“Nah, the Dodgers suck. Nothing like the Yankees.” I grinned.
“Or the White Sox,” the blonde said from behind her.
“They’re okay,” I replied. “I prefer the Cubs.”
“Oh, you’re so funny, Brody.” Marianna said.
I stared at her. In her see-through outfit, I could see every part of her body, from her nipples to her cleanly shaved pussy. Nothing was a mystery. I wondered why she was wearing clothes at all.
“So Heather and I were wondering…”
“Who’s Heather?” I asked nonchalantly.
“I’m Heather,” the blonde said, staring at me with wide blue eyes. “I met you like ten minutes ago.”
She had a little bit of an attitude, and I wanted to tell her that she looked like all the other plastic blondes with fake boobs at the party, but I kept my mouth shut.
“Anyway, Brody. We were wondering if you wanted to go back to my place,” Marianna said with a smile. “I was thinking that I’d love to feel you in every hole.”
And then she put her index finger in her mouth and started sucking.
“In every hole?” I said, staring at her.
“Yeah. How hot would that be to know that I had Brody Wainwright filling me everywhere I could be filled.”
“That’d be fucking hot,” the blonde said. She walked over to me and put her hands on my shoulder before bringing her lips in close to mine.
“And then you can do me after you do Marianna,” she said with a wink. “And maybe if you’re lucky, you can watch us do each other.”
I blinked and looked at her and then looked at Marianna. I just didn’t care. None of this was turning me on. I wasn’t hard or even close to being hard.
I jumped up. “I’ve got to go to the restroom,” I said quickly.
“We’ll be waiting for you, big boy,” the blonde said, and then Marianna laughed.
“I want to meet Mr. Brody again.”
I wanted to groan at her term for my cock. He wasn’t Mr. Brody, and he wasn’t interested in being with her again. I navigated around the room until I found the restroom. I opened the door and saw two guys snorting cocaine.
“Hey, Wainwright. What’s up?” a tall guy asked me, a huge grin on his face.
“Not much. What’s up, dude?”
“Nothing. You want some coke?”
“No, thanks.”
“We got some E as well. What’s your poison?”
“I’m clean. Thanks.” I turned around and exited the room and saw a staircase. I decided to go up the stairs and see if I could find a private bathroom there. I was in some mansion in Beverly Hills that belonged to some music producer I’d never met before. I’m sure he wouldn’t care. I walked up the stairs and saw that many other people at the party had had the same idea.
To the right, there was a couple having doggy-style sex. The girl was screaming and crying out while the guy pulled on her hair. They didn’t seem to care who was watching. As I passed by, the guy lifted his hand to get a high five from me, and I shook my head.
I couldn’t believe this was the sort of party I had liked to go to before. And even worse, I couldn’t believe I didn’t like it now. What the fuck had come over me?
I found the master bedroom, and while there was a couple on the bed making out, there appeared to be no one in the bathroom. I opened the door and locked it behind me, then took a deep breath. I turned on the faucet and splashed my face with cold water. What the fuck was going on?
I unzipped my pants and pulled out my cock, closing my eyes and trying to picture Marianna and her blonde friend making out. Her nipples. Her pussy.
But I couldn’t get myself hard.
“Fuck it.” I banged my wrist against the wall and cried out. “Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it.”
I didn’t understand what was going on. I quickly put my cock back into my pants, zipped up, and pulled out my phone. I had about five missed texts and two missed calls from Finn, as well as a bunch of calls from different women. I called Finn back, and he answered immediately.
“Yo, Brody. What’s up?”
“Just returning your million calls. What’s up, pops?”
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He cleared his throat. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m here in the 90210 partying it up with a bunch of bitches.”
“Okay. And you’re enjoying yourself?”
“Fuck yeah. I just got offered to have a threesome with a hot blonde and a hot brunette. Tonight is going to be—”
“Brody,” Finn cut me off. “If you were having that much fun, you wouldn’t be calling me back.”
“Dude, I just took a restroom break.”
“Uh-huh. What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I’m just here partying it up. What’s up with you? Banged your mistress for the night, and now she’s fallen asleep?”
“I’m going to ignore that. And no, Marcia went out.”
“Wow, okay.”
“Yeah, her and Susie went out with some of their friends. They’ve gone dancing.”
“They what?” I froze. This was not what I’d expected to hear. “What do you mean they’ve gone dancing? Dancing where?”
“I don’t know. Some club.”
“And you just let them go by themselves?”
“What do you mean? They’re with each other.”
“Dude, any guy can hit on them. They’re hot. Do you really want—”
“I trust Marcia. She wouldn’t do anything.”
“But what about fucking Susie?” I said, almost shouting.
“What about her? The last thing I heard, she was free and single. If she wants to hook up with a hottie, she can.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? Hook up with a hottie? Who’s she hooking up with?”
“Whoa, Brody. Calm down. Dude, what the fuck is going on? I thought you got some blonde bouncing on your dick tonight. What do you care about Susie?”
“What’s her phone number?”
“Dude, I’m not giving you her number.”
“Please, Finn.”
“Marcia will fucking kill me.”
“Please.”
“Why would I give you her number when you’re about to get laid by some fucking blonde chick? Has she already bounced on your cock?”
“No. I’m not fucking tonight, okay?”
“Has she sucked your cock?”
“No.”
“Has she given you a hand job?”
“No.”
“Have you sucked on her titty?”
“What the fuck, Finn?”
“Look, dude. I’m not going to give you her number unless I know you’re legit here.”
“What do you mean I’m legit? Give me her fucking number, Finn.”
“If you’re going to talk to me like that and give me an attitude—”
“Please. LA’s not happening for me. I’m going to come home tomorrow. I’d like to talk to Susie. I’d like to apologize properly.”
“She’s done with you. You know that, right?”
“Well, maybe that’s because I fucked up. But I can fix this.”
“You did. And honestly, Brody, she’ll probably hook up with someone tonight because she thinks you’re hooking up with someone.”
“Why the hell would she think I’m hooking up with someone?”
“Because you told all of us that you were going to LA to meet up with some cheerleader that you fucking banged in the back of a limo the last time you saw.”
“I never said I did that.”
“Dude, it was implied.”
“How was it implied?”
“Well, when you kind of mentioned that I was motorboating her friend, it was implied that you were doing more than me because you’re a dirty dog.”
“Oh, what, and you’re just a dog?”
“I’m not a dog anymore, dude.”
“Fine. That’s why I need her number, okay. I need to talk to her.”
“You like her, don’t you?” Finn started laughing and I groaned.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I mean, you like her, like her.”
“No, I don’t. I just want to make sure she’s okay.”
“I’m not giving you her number unless I get something from you.”
“Like what?”
“Do you like Susie?”
I hesitated. “Okay, she’s cute.”
“She’s cute? What does that mean?”
“She’s fucking gorgeous. Yeah, I want to bang her.”
“Brody.”
“Okay, it’s about more than banging. Look, if I wanted to bang her, I could’ve banged her already. I’m the one that stopped it from happening.”
“And you stopped it because…”
“I don’t fucking know. Because she’s your girlfriend’s best friend?”
“That’s not why you stopped it, dude.”
“Okay, I stopped it because she deserves more than a fucking quick bang in a cheap hotel room.”
“The hotel room wasn’t that cheap, Brody.”
“You know what I mean, Finn.”
“So you like her.”
“Yeah, maybe I do. Maybe that’s the reason I can’t fucking get it up tonight, even though two horny-as-hell women were all over me, fucking telling me—actually, pretty much begging me—to fuck them all night long. So yeah, something is wrong with me.”
“And that is?”
“Okay, you’re right. It’s fucking Susie Benedict. She’s in my head. I can’t stop thinking about her. I want to talk to her.”
“We’re finally getting somewhere.”
“You’re an asshole, Finn?”
“I aim to please.”
“So you’re going to? You’ll give me her number?”
“Yeah, but hold on. I’m going to have to go into my database at work. I don’t just have it saved in my phone, you know.”
“Hurry the fuck up. I want to speak to her.”
“Calm your horses.”
“If she fucks someone tonight…”
“Then what, Brody? What are you going to do? She can do whatever she wants.”
“I know, but…” I sighed. “Never mind. She can do what she wants, you’re right.”
“Okay, I got her number. You ready?”
“Yes.”
“Here you go.” He rattled off the numbers and I wrote them down quickly, my heart was racing like I’d just been given a gold crown or something.
“Great. Thanks.”
“So Brody…”
“I’ve got to go, dude,” I said and hung up. I punched Susie’s number into my phone and dialed quickly before I could stop myself. It rang and rang while I was getting angrier and angrier.
I thought it was about to go to voicemail when a breathless girl picked up. “Hi. Who is this?”
“Susie, is that you?”
“Yeah, it’s Susie. Who’s this?”
“It’s me.”
“Who’s me?”
“Brody.”
“Oh,” she said softly. “How the hell did you get my number?”
“Where are you?”
“I asked you a question.”
“And I asked you a question too. Where are you?”
“I asked my question first, Brody.”
“Where the fuck are you?”
“I’m at a club with Marcia, Shantal, and Lilian. Why?”
“You’re not at some guy’s place?”
“No. Why would you think I’m at some guy’s place?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t sure if you had your mouth full of dick before you picked up my call.” Jealousy seared through me and I knew that she had every right to tell me to fuck off. I was treading in deep waters and all my emotions were threatening to drown me.
“What the actual fuck?” She cleared her throat. “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, but you’re totally inappropriate, Brody.”
“I’m sorry.” I sighed and took a deep breath. “Please ignore that. I’m trying to put my best foot forward here. That just came out.”
“Where the fuck are you? Do you have your tongue up some girl’s pussy?”
“No. The only girl’s pussy I want to be fucking right now is yours.”
“Brody,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. “What the—”
“I fucked up, Susie. I know that. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t know what to say, Brody. Where are you?”
“I’m in LA. I’m in a bathroom in a house in Beverly Hills. Actually, you can’t even call it a house. It’s a mansion.”
“Okay.”
“And look, I just realized something.”
“What did you realize?”
“So Marianna, the girl I came to see, was with her friend. They were making out and touching on each other’s boobs, and they came up to me and told me that they wanted me to fuck them senseless. And you know what?”
“No. What, Brody?”
“I didn’t even get fucking hard. And you know why?”
“Why, Brody?”
“Because you’re the only one I want to be with right now. You’re the only one I want to fuck. I couldn’t even fucking jack off thinking about them.”
“Do you think this makes me feel better? Why do you think I care that you can’t fucking get hard for two bimbos, and that you tried to jack off thinking about them? What the fuck? Am I meant to be happy? Am I meant to be excited? Do you think this is a compliment?”
“So what, you’re not interested?”
“Am I interested in what, Brody? Fucking you? Because you can’t get hard for two fucking sluts?”
“Yeah. That’s exactly what I’m trying to say,” I said, even though that was totally not what I wanted to say.
“You’re an idiot, and I’m going now.” And with that, she hung up.
“Fuck it.” I banged my fist against the wall. I royally screwed that up. I was a fucking idiot.
I took a deep breath and called her number again. I’d get it right this time. I’d say, “Susie, I like you. I’ve never experienced this before, and all my words are coming out wrong, and I’m sorry. Can I take you to dinner tomorrow night?” That’s what I’d say.
But she didn’t pick up. The phone kept ringing and ringing and ringing.
I sent her a text message.
Brody: Please, Susie, I need to talk to you. I’m sorry. Please call me back?
I hit send and waited five minutes, but no text came back in response. I called her number again, but it kept ringing.
“Pick up the fucking phone, Susie,” I grunted into her voicemail and then hung up. “Shit.”
I called back, contrite. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Please call me back.”
And then when I called back again, it went straight to voicemail. She was ignoring me now. I didn’t know if she’d blocked my number or just turned her phone off, but I was pretty much done for the night.
I splashed my face with cold water again and realized I was probably the biggest idiot and asshole that the world had ever seen. And maybe Finn was right. Maybe it was time for me to see a therapist.
It had been suggested to me in high school, but I was a Wainwright. We didn’t have problems. We didn’t have issues that needed to be dealt with by seeing a therapist. But maybe I did need to speak to someone. Maybe I did need to figure out how to face the demons of my past.
I slowly opened the door and stepped into the bedroom. The couple that had been making out were now fucking. The girl was on top, riding him, and she grinned at me as I walked through the bedroom.
“Don’t look,” she said, shaking her breasts, and I just chuckled and left the room.
I walked down the stairs and looked at the crowded party. It was weird. Just a couple of weeks ago, this would’ve felt like one of the best parties I’d ever been to. But now, it was meaningless. It was nothing.
I watched as Marianna walked up to me, the blonde nowhere in sight. She stopped next to me and tried to kiss me. I averted her lips, and she looked pissed.
“What the fuck, Brody?”
“Sorry. I’ve got to go.”
“What do you mean you’ve got to go? What about us and tonight?” She placed her hand on the front of my pants and squeezed. My cock gave her nothing in response. I grabbed her hand and pushed it away from me.
“Sorry. Tonight’s not a good night for me.”
“But I have all these plans for us.”
“I’m sorry, Marianna. It’s just not—”
“I let you fucking take my anal cherry, punk. You’re going to turn me down now?”
“I very much don’t believe I took your anal cherry.” I stared at her and shook my head. “Not trying to be rude, but it seemed like you had kind of done it before.”
“You jackass.” She glared at me. “How dare you talk to me like I’m some sort of hoe!”
I pressed my lips together and took a deep breath. “Marianna, I’m sorry if I led you to believe that something was going to be happening tonight, and I’m sorry if I offended you the last time we had sex.”
“How would you fucking offend me? I’ve fucked hotter guys than you. I’ve fucked richer guys than you. Shit, I’ve fucked guys who were more famous than you. I fucked guys who are better at fucking than you. So fuck off, Brody Wainwright.”
Then she slapped me across the face and walked away. I stared after her, rubbing my cheek, and sighed. I’d deserved it. I’d always been an asshole to women, and I’m sure there were many more out there who wanted to slap me.
I headed out of the front door and looked at my phone. There were no missed calls, no missed text messages. I tried Susie’s number once again, and it went immediately to voicemail.
“Hey. I’m really hoping that we can meet and chat. I’ve come to a lot of realizations recently. And while I know it doesn’t really mean anything to you, it would mean a lot to me just to talk to you. And even if nothing else comes of it, I’d very much like to be friends.”
I hung up and then called an Uber. It was time to go home.