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I hope this book reads as a love letter to Berlin and to people who keep their hearts open. I love Berlin and every visit there is like a homecoming. It helps to see it through the eyes of my husband, whose hometown it is, to have spent time in its parks and on its streets, and to know its fraught history and how it has carved out a place in the world. For me, it’s always been a place to discover my true self.
Just like Yusuf on his trapeze, suspended between joy and fear, this book toyed with me. I was scared it was too political, and that readers would abandon it. When I wavered, I kept coming back to the Pericles quote: Just because you do not take an interest in politics, does not mean that politics won't take an interest in you.
My thanks to all of you who encouraged me: my readers, my critique group, and my beta readers Meg, Amira and Ross. You urged me on, challenged me and helped shape the book. I couldn’t have done it without you. To Jess, Dale and the team at Evolved, thank you for helping me bring this story to life.
I owe both The Good Immigrant, edited by Nikesh Shukla, and Circus Mania by Douglas McPherson a debt of gratitude. They formed the backbone of my research. Tracy Chapman’s self-titled album was the soundtrack to this book, together with ‘The Circus’, a song written especially for this novel by my creative sister Lindsay Crichton. While I wrote, two real life stories were never far from my mind: Eva Garcia, who fell from the trapeze and died in 2003; and the clown of Aleppo, who died in 2016. I imagine his story continues here.
Most of all, thanks to my family. Nana, you were so brave. You built a new world with little means and a big heart, and we still feel your ripples today. Mum and dad, you are the helpers, and sometimes, I think you carry a community on your shoulders. To J and our three musketeers, thank you for anchoring and inspiring me. Your belief in me and the little celebrations of my daily word count mean more than you know.
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