Day twelve of Parrish’s disappearance and we’re no closer to getting him back it seems.

“For every day that you take, I make a mark. Just one mark. But eventually, it’ll be too much for him. Your time limit is entirely dependent on this boy’s strength.”

Getting a long slash down one’s chest every day for twelve days would be a lot for anyone to handle, even someone as young and healthy and strong as Parrish Vanguard. I consider begging Tess to let me stay home today—it’s Friday, after all, and I did have an ‘accident’ this week—but then, school gives me access to Mr. Volli, who’s obviously deeply involved in all of this.

It also gives me access to Lumen and Danyella.

There’s no guarantee that either of them know a damn thing. Lumen’s violence could very well just be the result of the fire I set in the theater, but I don’t believe that. I don’t know why, but I don’t.

Chasm gives me and Kimber a ride to school; Tess seems to realize that we can’t exactly stop and have sex with my younger sister in the car, so she’s appeased. For now. I have a feeling that if—when, I have to keep saying when—we get Parrish back, all of the things she’s angry with me about will come rushing back.

For now, she’s too distracted by Parrish to give me more than a passing glance. If she could trade me to get him back, I believe in my heart that she’d do it.

As soon as we walk in the doors of the academy, I sense another cosmic shift.

Lumen is standing there, shaking and bleeding, her uniform torn and disheveled, her beautiful, honeyed hair a tangled mess around her angry face.

“Kwang-seon,” she breathes, nostrils flared, hands clenched into fists on either side of her. I flick my gaze over to Chasm, but he’s affected that lazy, bored, bad boy expression of his. He stares her down unflinchingly, amber eyes dark with barely contained rage. “This is your doing.”

“Is it?” he asks as Lumen pants, squeezing her fists so tightly that droplets of blood actually fall and hit the stone floor beneath her feet. “How do you figure that?”

Lumen’s earth-colored eyes swing over to mine. In them, I feel like I see a flicker of … something, but it’s impossible to place. Everybody here is brimming with secrets and bullshit; I can barely stand it. She returns her attention to Chasm, stalking down the hall as people move hurriedly out of her way.

“You have no idea what you’re doing,” she hisses at him, tall enough to look him directly in the face in a way that I can’t. Chasm doesn’t flinch, holding his ground as Kimber gapes openly, gazing between the two of them with a look that’s part fear, part awe. Meanwhile, I just stand there with my broken fingers and nose aching, every bruise on my body a throbbing splotch of purple betrayal.

“Not only did you unleash that pack of bitches to beat Dakota’s ass, but did you know they also tried to chuck her over the wall of the third-floor courtyard?”

Something strange flickers in Lumen’s eyes. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was surprise, but it’s hard to tell beneath the blood and bruises.

“Who?” she demands, her voice cool and even. “I’ll have to send them thank you cards.”

Chasm lets out a harsh laugh and shoulders past her, knocking his body into hers so forcefully that she actually stumbles. Unwilling to be caught alone with the girl I thought not only liked me as a friend, but was also crushing on me, I chase after him and Kimber follows along.

“Did you get your friends to beat her up?” Kimber whispers, but Chasm just shakes his head, strolling down the hall as people move out of our way. How long will this social pressure hold for him? How long before he becomes a pariah and an outcast right alongside me? I meant it when I told him he should leave me alone to deal with this.

Then again, I wasn’t aware that my life was at stake on campus.

“Go to class, Kim,” he says, opening the door to a classroom on our right. She gives him a sharp frown but takes the coffee he bought her on the way here and slips inside anyway.

“She’s head over heels for you,” I tell him, and he turns a look on me.

“Yeah, I know, but … eww?” Chasm cringes slightly, lifting a single brow. “I’ve known her since I was nine; she was six. We’re basically family. Also, she’s fourteen.”

“Maybe you should be calling her Little Sister then?” I offer, my gaze sliding past him toward the end of the hallway. Lumen is gone. I assume she slipped into a bathroom to clean up. I turn back to Chas. “Anyway, did you send your friends to beat Lumen up?”

He leans in toward me, so close that I can smell him. Peppermint and dark chocolate. Ugh.

“All those girls I’ve helped over the years? I called on some old debts.” Chasm stands up straight, eyes scanning the students behind him.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave her alone?” I grind out. “You’re risking everything for … for …”

“You?” Chasm queries, looking down at me with an inscrutable expression. “You and Parrish, more like. Is that a problem? I won’t apologize, Little Sister. What Lumen did to you was fucked-up, regardless of the situation with the fire. She got what was coming to her.”

He grabs my hand and drags me after him, depositing me at my first period class before lifting up a finger in warning.

“Do not go anywhere without me. You hear me?”

“Yes, sir.” I roll my eyes at him and then, just to gauge his reaction, I try that phrase again. “Saranghae. ”

“Stop saying that,” he grinds out at me with a roll of his eyes.

“It doesn’t mean good night, does it?” I query, but he’s already turning and walking away, throwing up two middle fingers over his shoulders as he heads to his own class. With a sigh, I take my seat, engrossing myself in my phone to keep from noticing the myriad stares of my classmates.

They’re all very, very careful to keep their feelings about me to themselves when staff members, teachers, or administrators are around it seems.

I’ve not been sitting there for more than five minutes, working on my Parrish research, when a fresh text comes in. Right away, I’m annoyed. I want to see Parrish on video.

Then I actually read the text, and the entire world goes hazy around me.

Good morning, princess. I’ve asked a lot of you this week, but don’t worry, my next request is just for you. You’ve done well this week, learning to voice your wants and needs. It’s important to always maintain initiative and control of oneself and one’s underlings.

It’s also important to give into one’s desires.

Here’s what I’d like to see next from you.

Act on your feelings for Kwang-seon McKenna; get him to act on his. I can see them, as plain as day, even from the great distance that lies between us. But fear not, everything will change on Sunday. I think you’ll be quite pleased.

I just sit there for several minutes, trying to process what I’ve just read.

Everything will change on Sunday? How so? That’s the fourteenth day. Does he mean to kill Parrish? Have we taken too long?

My stomach is in my throat as our first period teacher begins her lecture. But I can’t breathe. I can barely even see straight. The world is swimming around me, and I feel unsteady, even in my seat, like I might topple over.

With my phone resting on my thighs beneath the desk, I surreptitiously read the message over again.

Act on my feelings for Kwang-seon?

How so? I don’t understand. I don’t understand this at all.

I thought I’d had Justin pegged: he’s grooming me to … hurt people. Isn’t he? Isn’t that the reason he had me destroy Tess’ typewriter and ruin the car? Why he asked me to set that fire? To kill the white rabbit?

But … act on my feelings? What the fuck?

I start to text him back, careful to keep my movements hidden from the teacher. Whitehall is a strange school; they encourage us to keep our phones on us at all times. The school even sends out official announcements via text. The teachers, on the other hand, will take your phone and stash it for the remainder of the day if they catch you using it in class.

Since I really, really don’t need that sort of complication in my life right now, I go slow, looking up frequently, and even raising my hand to answer a question that, thanks to Chasm’s tutoring, I actually know off the top of my head. It takes some time, but I carefully word and send over my response.

I might argue that I already have acted on my feelings. My feelings are these: I love Parrish, and I made a commitment to him before you stole him away. Whatever is between me and Chasm is exactly what I want it to be.

The reply comes almost immediately.

That game might’ve sufficed yesterday, but it will not suffice today. You will act on your feelings for Kwang-seon, or I will take the steps necessary to clean up what little is left of your previous conquest.

The words sting; they burn. Even before the Seattle Slayer sends his next message.

If you think I cannot see every little thing you do, think again. If you believe I am stupid enough to be fooled by nonsense, try me. Preserve one boy’s feelings by keeping the other at a distance, and see how it affects his overall health. If you prefer to learn hard lessons, my sweet daughter, then I will teach them to you by whatever means necessary.

You deserve happiness; take it where you can. Be honest with yourself. Anything less will displease me.

I lift my gaze up from the phone, barely registering the lesson that’s taking place right in front of me. The week after next, we have our final exams, but at this point, I couldn’t possibly care any less.

Instead, I end up sitting there like a statue, my body chiseled of stone and just as immovable.

As soon as the bell rings, I’m up and out of my seat, scrambling for the door so quickly that my shiny dress shoes slide on the stone floors. Luckily for me, Chasm’s class isn’t far from mine, and he appears almost immediately.

Once he sees the look on my face, he’s running. His hands grasp my shoulders and he steers me away from the crowd, putting me in a corner next to a row of lockers.

“Little Sister, talk to me,” he says, his voice frantic. He’s shaking now, too. Terror lances through his features as he swallows hard and looks into my eyes. Guilt and self-hatred pour through me in equal measures, slicing me right down the middle.

I keep thinking that this is it, that I’ve officially hit rock-bottom, that I couldn’t possibly hate myself anymore than I do in any given moment. And yet, there’s always more distance to fall, always more space for that sticky, dirty self-loathing to creep through my veins like poison.

I hand over the phone and Chasm snatches it up, looking through the text messages with a sharp fear in his amber eyes. As he reads, that fear changes to something else, something that I well-recognize: disbelief.

“No,” he says, thrusting the phone back at me. He’s shaking even harder now. “No.” His voice is breathless and high, laced with shock. “I can’t do that to him. I won’t.”

Before I even get a chance to reply, Chas is snatching me by the hand. He drags me across the hall and around the corner, escorting me to my second class without giving me a chance to talk this over. We’re both already late anyway, but it doesn’t matter.

Chasm drops me off and disappears, leaving me to slink into the room and take my seat with my heart threatening to pound its way right out of my chest.

Act on my feelings?

What are my feelings for Chasm, exactly?

Be honest with yourself. Anything less will displease me.

The words of that text hammer against the sides of my skull until I’m nursing a terrible migraine, one that seems to pulse right through the broken bones of my nose and fingers, making me hurt so bad that I just want to break something. I just want to tell the world, so I don’t have the burden of this secret any longer.

If I were a weaker person, I just might. It’d be so easy to march up to Tess and give her the phone, explain to her all the things that have been happening, and let her relay all of that information to the authorities. Then it wouldn’t be my problem anymore, would it?

It’d be everyone else’s fucking problem.

Parrish.

I close my eyes and think about the way his lips felt against mine, like he was communicating all of the things he ever wanted to say to me through his kiss. I think about the way he looked in the basement that day, with tears brimming in his eyes, his jaw clenched tight, crammed with so much emotion that he didn’t know what to do with any of it.

Mostly, I think about our naked bodies entwined together on his bed, the feel of his cock inside of me, how I felt so close to him, so complete, so happy.

Gamer Girl versus Serial Killer … and I am currently getting my ass handed to me.

If I was aiming for the high score in this game, I’m failing miserably. Instead of anticipating and getting ahead of each of the Slayer’s moves, I’m simply reacting. The best I’ve been able to do is earn Parrish a bed and a chance to be unchained. That’s it. But he needs so much more than that.

I want to see him, I text back. Video chat me so I can make sure you’re keeping your word.

Surprisingly, my demand seems to please my bio dad. Again, if he even is my bio dad at all and not some crazy rando off the street.

Let’s see how today goes, shall we? Dig deep, Mia. Ask yourself what you want and then let yourself have it. The only feelings you should consider are your own.

Once again, I spend the entirety of class trying to get myself together.

I’m not an idiot.

I understand what this means; I know what the Slayer wants.

Because I know what I want, what I’d …

I’ve had these thoughts before, about Parrish and Chasm. If I could, I’d have them both. I’ve known that for a long time, even if I tried my best to deny and ignore it. That isn’t how the world works. Or rather, it isn’t how the world is supposed to work. The guy you love isn’t supposed to disappear the night after you lose your virginities to each other. He isn’t supposed to be tied to a chair and bleeding. He most definitely shouldn’t have to suffer through all of that while his best friend and his girlfriend …

I shoot to my feet as soon as the bell rings, unsure if Chasm is even going to show up to get me.

He does, thankfully, but he isn’t happy about it. This time, he refrains from touching my hand at all.

“We need to talk,” I tell him, but he won’t look at me. Instead, he just starts walking away, and I follow. We end up back in the handicapped bathroom all over again. The mirror has already been fixed, unsurprising considering the elite nature of the school, but I really hope that Chas doesn’t punch it again. His hand is still sliced up and a tad swollen.

“I’m not doing it,” he tells me, but we’ve been through this before, with the maid and the box. He’ll do it, even if he hates himself for every action he takes. Same for me. We’re in the same boat here, hating ourselves so badly that we’re burning up to ash on the inside. He crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head violently. “I can’t do that to him.”

“Kwang-seon,” I start, and his eyes snap open. He stalks toward me, and I end up backing up until I’m pressed against the shiny white tiles that cover the bottom half of the wall. He slams his palms on either side of me, leaning down so that our mouths are a hairsbreadth apart.

“Don’t call me by my real name,” he snarls out, angry but with no outlet for his rage. Just me. Only me. “And don’t bow at me. Don’t speak to me in Korean. Don’t touch me. Don’t compliment me. Don’t—”

My hands come up, my fingers resting on either side of his face. In every place we touch, my body aches. I’m pretty sure I’m crying, but the tears are silent, creating salty tracks down my cheeks. Closing my eyes, I lean in, pressing my lips softly against his.

We’re both trembling, both hurting, both flooded with guilt.

A sob escapes me as I dig my fingers harder into Chasm’s cheeks, pressing my mouth to his again, kissing him the way I’ve wanted to since that day at the lake when he said fuck it and brushed his lips across mine.

I lean against him, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t deepen the kiss, doesn’t even open his mouth for me. Still crying, still shaking, I open my eyes to find that he’s watching me. Everything about him says tense, angry, upset, but he doesn’t move either closer to me or further away.

“I’m so sorry, Parrish,” I sob out, pressing my mouth even harder against Chasm’s, feeling him soften just slightly against me. He draws back suddenly, breathing hard, his face a broken, anguished thing.

“Be careful of your nose,” he tells me, and then he’s tilting his head and sliding his lips against mine. His tongue pushes against my mouth, encouraging me to open for him. He’s so skilled at this, so experienced, I immediately figure that I must’ve been wrong about the virgin thing. Chasm … might be telling the truth about his dating prowess.

He takes over the interaction, working his tongue against mine, taking my lips like he’s tasting me, like he’s drinking me in and absorbing my very essence. I do the same, allowing myself to taste him behind the wall of guilt I’ve built around myself.

The Slayer has given me little choice in the matter.

I know it.

Chasm knows it.

It’s the most exquisite form of torture, being given something you want so badly, but at a cost that’s far too great to swallow. Parrish is the one who will pay this cost, who will hurt the most, and in turn, Chasm and I will hurt.

Well-played, asshole, I think at the Slayer, sliding my hands along Chasm’s jaw to rest in his silky hair. If this were a chess game, I’d be in check. But is there a way out of this? Can I move my piece? Capture his? If this were a video game, and I was down to my last life, could I figure out how to get another? How to gain more points? How to beat the level?

My fingers play with Chas’ hair, twirling it around my fingers as he works his mouth against mine, a deep groan building in his chest that seems to reverberate the very air molecules around us. I can feel him all over me, even though he’s only touching me in one place. His lips continue to work diligently against mine, his tongue delving deeper, the male sounds in his throat huskier and more desperate.

He does not, however, move his hands from their position against the wall. Instead, he seems to be doing everything in his power to keep that distance between us.

My own hands drop down to Chasm’s shoulders and that’s when he pulls back, his mouth glossy from kissing me. He steps away, removing my hands and pushing them against my chest. We’re both breathing heavily, faces flushed, lips swollen.

“This isn’t right,” he says, but almost like he’s pleading. “Parrish is my best friend. He’s always been there when I needed him, always. He’s hurting, and he’s all alone, and … fuck. Little Sister, this is …” He gestures between us with a single finger. “This is so messed-up. It’s so fucking fucked.”

“I know,” I choke out, putting my hand over my mouth and closing my eyes. I can’t help but feel like this is my fault. If I didn’t … if I hadn’t developed feelings for Chasm, the Slayer’s directive would hold little power. If I hadn’t made those feelings so goddamn obvious, he might not have seen the opportunity. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

Chasm slams his palm into the wall again, so hard that the tile actually cracks . I open my eyes to look at him, his face just inches from mine again.

“This isn’t your fault, Little Sister. Not at all. Don’t you dare blame yourself for this.” He draws back from me, straightening out his blazer and releasing a long, slow breath. I notice that his slacks are slightly tented again. He stares down at that bulge for a minute before looking back up at me. “You’re not allowed to feel more guilty than I do.”

He holds his hand out for me, and I step forward to take it. Our fingers curl together and then he’s dragging me close again, staring down at me with an expression that’s equal parts hopeful and crushed. He likes me—that much was obvious from the sunflowers—but we both knew that we could never, ever act on it. Not especially while Parrish was missing.

Now? All of those barriers have come tumbling down. In their place, invisible forces push us even closer together.

“I hate myself, Chasm,” I admit, and he gives me an almost smile in response. It’s too bitter, though, to actually be one.

“How can you say that? How many people would go this far out of their way to save a guy they’ve only known for three months? Who treated them like shit for most of that? Dakota, it’s your compassion and empathy that’s getting you into trouble. It’s because you’re a good person that you’re suffering.” He yanks me even closer, squeezing both of my hands in his but being careful to avoid my broken fingers.

His expression breaks into something strangely tender, and I find myself looking away. He continues talking, his voice a soothing echo in the small, tiled room.

“But it doesn’t matter because I am not a good person. I make the effort, but the need to be cruel, the want to hurt, to dominate, to bring others into submission … I feel it in me. If I have to direct that energy and that focus to keep you safe, then I’ll unleash it with pride.”

“You don’t even know what you’re saying,” I whisper, but he rubs his thumbs along my palms and makes me shiver anyway.

“Sure I do. I tried to keep my distance from you because I didn’t want to hurt Parrish. Well now, I’m being told that if I don’t act on my desires, he’ll hurt. Worse than that, he’ll die. Let the blame fall on me for this. Make it my fault.” He gives me one, last squeeze before releasing my hands and then unlocking the bathroom door.

I don’t quite understand what he means, but I hope this was enough.

Even as my heart sings with guilt, as it brims with self-hatred, a small, tiny part of me feels warm.

And I hate myself even more for noticing it.

When I step into the hallway for lunch, I see Danyella. She notices me and her eyes go wide, but she can’t quite scramble away from me quickly enough.

“Please don’t run from me,” I call out, trying to grab her arm. She wrests it away from me, storming down the hall so quickly that I have to decide whether to full-on run after her and risk Chasm being unable to find me, or let her go.

I choose the latter, wringing my hands as I turn around to find him striding toward me with angry purpose.

“Little Sister, come on. You want to get chucked off the third-floor courtyard again?” I give him a look, but there’s no apology in his eyes. He’s dead serious right now.

That gods-forsaken phone buzzes in my pocket, and Chas and I exchange a look as I pull it out and turn it on.

If you’d like to see Parrish, you’ll need to do better than that. A lukewarm kiss hardly satisfies those sick little desires you’re harboring. I’ll give you until Sunday to impress me. Please don’t make me alter my plans, princess. I’ve worked hard to achieve these ends.

We study the text together and Chas curses in Korean.

I haven’t quite allowed the meaning of that particular message to sink in. Instead, I’m caught on something else. On several somethings, actually.

There are no security cameras in the bathroom to be hacked and observed. Chasm didn’t have his phone on him. My phone was inside my pocket. At best, if the Slayer was watching me through tech—as I’ve suspected from the beginning—he might’ve heard the barest of rustling. Nothing that Chasm or I said to one another would betray the fact that we were kissing and only kissing—a lukewarm kiss to be exact.

So how would he know that? How could he know that?

My hand slides down the strap of my bag and bumps into the metal heart pin that Tess gave me. I stare down at it, and several things happen at once. It’s like there’s an avalanche in my brain, like I’ve just figured out how to keep that check from becoming a checkmate.

And it isn’t by moving my king.

It’s by attacking with my knight.

I look up at Chasm, always the knight to Parrish’s prince. Now, he’s the knight to my queen. Let the blame fall on me for this.

“What?” he asks, blinking at me and waiting for an explanation. “You’ve got that look on your face. What have you just figured out?”

I’ve been searching for you for a long time, my sweet princess.

In this box, you’ll find my heart. Wear it always, or you’ll break it.

I’m not sure either of us would survive that.

That’s the note that I found with this pin, inside my nightstand drawer. It’s a gift that Tess never mentioned to me. Of course, at the time, I didn’t think anything of it. How could I? I’d just met Tess. She’d given me the tennis bracelet, and I already found her behavior odd. Later, on my birthday, she shoved that pink envelope in my hand and took off, never to mention it again.

It didn’t seem entirely out of left field that she might leave a gift and a note like this.

The skeleton key.

How could I have forgotten the skeleton key?!

I look up at Chasm again.

“I need to stop by my locker,” I tell him, doing my best to keep my voice neutral. I cannot give away the fact that I know this. One, I’m not sure if that note constitutes an order. If it does, and I chuck the camera, Parrish could suffer. Two, it’s now a tool in my box. There are plenty of places in the world where the all-seeing eyes of technology can be hidden from for a brief moment.

Tess has taken away all of my electronics. At present time, all I have are the phones—the one she gave me, and the one from Maxine. If I’m careful about where I use and place those items, and I strategically move the bag with the heart pin where I need it, I can orchestrate things specifically for the Slayer to see.

“O…kay,” Chasm hazards, giving me a weird look. But he escorts me down the hall anyway, waiting patiently as I dump my bag as well as my phone inside my locker. I give him a look, reaching out with my right hand for his phone as well. With a slow reluctance, he extracts his own phone and gives it to me to lock inside.

“Parrish mentioned the hedge maze,” I start, and Chasm’s eyes go wide. See, he’s one step ahead of me on one subject while I’m a step ahead of him on another. My assumption is that, because the hedge maze near the school’s side entrance is a popular hookup spot, there must not be any cameras there.

“Uh, yeah,” he says, shaking his head. “I just need to grab something real quick.” He moves down a bit to his own locker—I’ve not seen the guy touch his locker once the entire time I’ve gone to school with him—and opens it, digging around for something and then stuffing it into his blazer pocket. “Come on.”

We head downstairs and out the side door where I’m most often picked up and dropped off.

Without hesitation, Chas jumps over the edge of the stone patio area and lands in the grass, reaching up to offer his hand. I take it and land with an ooph beside him, straightening out my skirt and hoping like hell we don’t have a lot of company down there.

He leads the way without a word passing between us, guiding me between two large statues near the front of the maze, and then winding his way into it. After a good dozen turns, I’m officially lost.

“I hope you know how to find your way out of here,” I say, letting my fingers brush against the leaves of the ‘walls’ to either side of me. “I’m assuming there aren’t cameras out here?” I ask as Chasm pauses in a dead end. The circular garden area is lined with white columns, a birdbath sitting pretty in the middle, surrounded by flowers in full bloom.

Chas turns to look at me.

“No cameras,” he agrees, studying me. The expression on his flickers briefly, like he’s torn by indecision.

“Perfect,” I say, exhaling and reaching up to push my hair back from my face. “I just realized that the heart pin on my bag is not only from the Slayer but also a camera—”

“What?! ” Chasm chokes out, taking a step closer to me. My eyes snap up to his, finding him wide-eyed and panting. His shoulders heave with his heavy breaths, and his hands are clenched into tight fists. “That’s why … ah shit.”

“Why, what?” I ask, frowning as his amber eyes slide to one side.

Then I remember the actual content of the text.

The kiss … was not enough.

My breath catches and I take a step away from him, bumping my back into one of the white stone columns that surrounds the edge of the clearing. The sun is shining brightly, but the walls of the maze cast deep shadows over the pretty little garden area; I’m standing in one of those shadows now, looking at Chasm and trying not to feel all of the horrible things that I’m feeling.

I shift slightly, rubbing my thighs together.

He purses his lips for a moment and then slides his tongue along his bottom lip to flick against one of his lip studs.

“Mm,” Chas starts, studying me as I stare up at him. He mutters several things in Korean and then looks straight at me. “Fuck it.”

He steps forward and gathers me into his arms, dropping his mouth not to my mine, but to my neck. His lips brush over my pulse point, his tongue flicking out to taste the faint saltiness of my skin. My own hands betray me, mimicking my rebellious heart as they fist in the front of Chasm’s blazer, drawing him closer to me, encouraging him to be the bad guy, just the way he asked me to.

My dark knight.

Parrish’s dark knight.

Even if he has to do awful things to keep his title.

Chasm licks and kisses the side of my neck, his own sounds of pleasure mimicking mine. If he’s that excited just by touching me, then what will he be like once I touch him?

My hands undo the button on Chas’ blazer, fingers fumbling with the buttons on his shirt next. He lets out a deep, almost agonized-sounding groan as I finally break through his clothing, pressing my fingertips to his taut belly and then dragging them up to his chest.

He drops his own hands down to his slacks, undoing them with frantic efficiency before he reaches into his pocket and withdraws the item from his locker.

It’s a condom.

A fucking condom.

Just like the handful he gave to me and Parrish that day. Parrish. Even as that traitorous little piece of my heart dances with joy at finally being able to explore my feelings for Chasm, the rest of me breaks and shatters.

I come apart that day; I transform into a different person.

I’m not sure that it’s a person that I’ll ever truly be able to like.

I’m a cheater. I’m cheating on Parrish. I’m betraying Parrish.

But I’m doing it to save his life.

Chasm opens the condom wrapper and carefully rolls the lubed latex down his shaft while I watch, panting and shaking, my hands still on his chest. He does it easily, like this is something he’s done before. But then he looks up at me and meets my eyes with a stare so powerful that it nearly staggers me.

“You were right,” he says, his voice husky and dark, so different than I’ve ever heard it before.

“Right?” I reply, my own voice strange and rasping. “About what?”

“About me. I’ve … I’m a virgin.” Chasm just stares at me as I blink back at him in disbelief.

“The way you kiss, the way you …” I trail off and gesture down at his cock. He’s holding it in his right hand, the condom slicking his fingers as he squeezes just a bit and then lets out a ragged exhale.

Without another word, Chasm slides his hands up and under the pleats of my skirt, his fingers curling around the waistband of my panties. He yanks them down, and I help him, watching as he squats and pulls them off one foot and then the other.

He stands back up and then reaches around me, grabbing me by the ass and hefting me up with a surprising amount of strength. My legs go around him as he presses the combined weight of our bodies into the column. Our mouths clash as I wind my arms around his neck, holding him close and gasping against his lips as he reaches between us with his right hand.

Chasm guides himself to that aching wet heat between my thighs, and I have a sudden, horrible flickering memory of Parrish in this exact same position. Without warning, Chasm thrusts forward, pushing himself inside of me so deeply that I forget how to breathe for a minute.

All I can do is cling there, cling to him, my hands grasping at the back of his blazer, his hair. My broken fingers ache, but not as much as that sore spot between my thighs. It’s brand-new all over again, and I’m free-falling. I’m so full of emotions that I don’t know what to do with any of them.

Part of me wants to cry, part of me wants to laugh. The rest of me gives into that brimming heat, into the tension that’s been stretching tighter and tighter with each passing day. Chasm adjusts his hands so that he has a firm, hard grip on my ass, and then he starts to move, slamming our pelvises into the column.

He’s so warm, pressed up against me like that. I squeeze him even harder, nuzzling my face against the side of his neck and making him moan. He turns his head slightly, putting his lips near my hair, and he says such wonderful, sweet-sounding things in Korean.

My legs tremble as I keep them wrapped around him as best I can, the pleasure making me feel weak and boneless. I wish we were at home in a bed together, with all the time in the world to explore. Like I did with Parrish.

I fling that thought as far and hard as I can, grinding my pelvis against Chasm’s. He feels so good that it’s hard to remember that we’re actually at fucking school right now, that we’re in a hedge maze where anyone could walk in and see us.

That we’re cheating on Parrish.

That we’re doing this at the whim of a serial killer.

None of that matters as much as the feel of his fingertips digging into my ass, the fullness inside of me where our bodies are pressed together, the way his breath fans my hair when he groans with each thrust. Chas licks my ear, murmurs to me in Korean, pulls me as close to him as he can get me.

I lift my head up, pressing my own mouth against the side of his neck, licking and sucking and biting him in just such a way that I know we’re both going to struggle to hide the marks. Still, I can’t stop. My hungry mouth teases and tastes him before I turn my head and find his lips waiting there to meet mine.

Our bodies grind and writhe, pressing into each other, claiming one another.

“Tell me what you need,” Chasm finally chokes out in English. I’m fairly certain he asked that same question three or four times in Korean first before remembering that I don’t speak his language just yet. “What do you need, Little—”

He stops himself from finishing that nickname with visible effort.

He’ll never be able to call me that again after this, will he?

“My … my clit,” I manage to get out, even though it’s embarrassing and admittedly a little bit weird to be telling Chasm to touch me like that. We’re supposed to be friends. Not … whatever this is becoming.

He pulls back from the column, taking the entirety of my weight into his arms and then moves us just a few steps to the grass. Chas falls to his knees before pressing me into the lawn with his body. He adjusts himself so that he’s just a tad higher than he might need to be, using each movement of his hips to slide his shaft down and into me.

The movement is just enough to stimulate me where I need it most.

“Just like that, Dakota,” Chas whispers, moving more quickly, his breath coming faster and more ragged. Little beads of sweat form on his forehead as we drive each other closer to the edge, my hands desperately clawing at the back of his blazer, as if I’m simultaneously trying to bring him close and also shove him away.

The pleasure crests and then breaks, and my entire body goes completely stiff. My fingers dig into Chasm’s back as I let go, shuddering as the intensity of the climax washes over me. It’s almost too much. I almost want it to stop. But it takes hold of me anyway and sweeps me under.

Subconsciously, I recognize Chasm groaning deeply, his body just as stiff as mine as he presses into me hard enough to drive my ass into the soft dirt. He thrusts a few final times and then collapses, barely managing to catch his weight on his elbows.

“Holy shit,” Chasm moans, dropping his head against my shoulder. I’m almost shell-shocked beneath him, staring up at the blue-blue sky with its fluffy white clouds and its almost annoyingly brilliant sunshine. Somewhere in the distance, I hear the bell ringing to indicate the end of lunch.

We’re going to be late for class.

Chasm draws back, looking down at me as if to check that I’m truly okay with this. Whatever he sees seems to freak him out a little.

“Little Sister,” he starts, and then cringes visibly. “Dakota. Are you okay?”

“I’m …” I start, sucking in a sharp breath as Chasm pulls away from me. My body feels almost instantly cold and bereft, and I hate that. I hate that I loved being with Chasm just as much as I enjoyed being with Parrish. “I’m okay.”

He turns away from me to remove the condom, tying it off and then, with a slight cringe of his own, tucks it into the pocket of his blazer.

“I’m going to hell,” he mutters again, just like he did the day we delivered the box. “Yep. All the way to the bottom of the fiery pit.” Chasm turns back toward me again, holding out a hand to help me up.

I almost don’t want to touch him. What’ll happen if I do? Will it spark all of that fire again? Or will I just drown in my own guilt.

Shoving those thoughts aside, I reach up and take it. He yanks me to my feet with such force that I stumble into him, my hands on his chest, his amber eyes gazing down at me.

“I’ll …” he starts, but then his voice just trails off and we’re staring at each other again. “Shit, this is weird.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” I choke out, curling my fingers in his undone dress shirt. Chasm’s arm curls around my waist, drawing me close. He nestles his head against my hair, and I realize with a sudden sharp stab of fear what, exactly, it is that’s off about this.

The fact that it isn’t actually weird at all; it feels too natural.

“I like this too much,” he murmurs against me, his arm banding even more tightly around my waist. “It might be an order from the Slayer now, but … what if I don’t want to give this up?”

I have no answer to that question.

Also … I didn’t bring the pin camera nor my phone with us. As comforting as that idea is in so many ways, it also means that the Slayer won’t know what we’ve done. He won’t see that we’ve taken things beyond a kiss.

We’ve just betrayed Parrish in order to save him, and yet we didn’t offer any proof of it all.

Fan-fucking-tastic.