For once in my life, I’m allowed to sleep in at the Vanguard household. When I do finally wake up, it’s at Delphine’s insistence as she gently shakes me awake.

“Mrs. Vanguard suggested you might’ve had a hard day and needed some extra rest.” She releases my shoulder and stands back up, smiling fondly, if not a little sadly, down at me. “Justin Prior will arrive in an hour to pick you up.”

Oh.

Great.

I get to spend the day with the man who’s holding my boyfriend hostage and then leveraging that against me to sleep with his two best friends. Awesome. Totally the way I’d intended on spending Memorial Day.

With a sigh, I climb out of bed, grab a lime-green sweater with the words Gamer Girl on the front—subtle, I know—and a pair of jeans. A quick rinse, a good fifteen minutes of fiddling with my wavy hair, and a dash of pink eye shadow with a bit of liner, and I’m ready to go.

My timing, as always, is impeccable, and I end up running into Maxx in the hallway.

He’s all dressed-up, too, and I find that I can’t take my eyes off of him.

He, on the other hand, just frowns at me.

“You’re really going to do this?” he asks, studying my outfit with a gleam in his eyes that either wasn’t there before last night or that he did a very, very good job of hiding. Then again, I think back on certain moments, like the one in this very hallway when Parrish, Maxx, and I were discussing Antonio’s party. Parrish and I started throwing insults at one another, and I remember that Maxx got this look of pure irritation on his face that I didn’t understand at the time.

Was he already into me then?

I can be denser than a box of rocks when it comes to love interests, I’ll give you that.

“I’m really going to do this,” I admit, nodding and tucking a loose strand of hair behind one ear. I’m wearing the tennis bracelet that Tess bought me on that same wrist, just to see if I can’t get a rise out of Justin when he sees me wearing it.

I want to see if he’s pleased—meaning that he might care about Tess more than he’s letting on. Or annoyed, in which case, he might reveal the true extent of his hatred for her. At this point, I can’t decide if he’s just trying to ruin her life or if he wants her back.

The whole Milk Carton app scenario is making me lean toward the latter.

“It makes me nervous,” X admits, letting his big body slouch against the doorjamb. For a second there, things are almost normal between us. “Seeing the girl I just slept with walk out the door with a murderer.”

And there we go.

It gets weird again.

I stare at him, and I try not to think about how damn big he was, or how I’m a tiny bit sore, or how much I liked it. Because it’s fucked-up. This is all so damn fucked-up.

Exactly the way Justin Prior likes it.

My plan today is to offer myself up in exchange for Parrish, no-holds-barred. I’ll testify against Tess, live with Justin, do whatever stupid, horrible things he has planned.

Except for kill people.

I will never do that.

If it comes down to killing someone in exchange for someone I love, I know the choice I’ll make.

I’ll take myself out first.

The thought is depressing as hell, and dark as pitch. Actually, everything about today is dark because I can’t decide what’s going to happen. Will Justin let Parrish go in exchange for me? Will he challenge me to find him still? If I do find him, will he then take me under his dark wing?

Before I can think better of it, I move forward and throw my arms around Maxx’s neck, squeezing him tight. Normally, I wouldn’t do this. I wouldn’t test fate this way. But I’m nervous, and frankly, if Justin does accept my proposal, Parrish could be home by dinner … but I’ll never be coming back here again.

“If anything happens to me, you have to find him,” I whisper, and Maxx grabs me, dragging me back into Parrish’s room and kicking the door closed. He presses me back against it, grabs my face in both hands, and kisses me with that same heavy longing from last night.

I kiss him back, like a goodbye kiss, like this is our final parting. It hurts so goddamn bad.

I wish Chasm were here, so I could say goodbye to him, too.

Just in case.

“You’re scaring me,” X growls against my mouth. “I’m not letting you do this.”

“If you don’t, then last night will have been for nothing. We’ll have betrayed Parrish and Maxine for no reason at all.” I put my hand on his chest and force him back a few steps. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.” I exhale and force a smile, acting as if I didn’t have good reason for what I just did.

But Maxx isn’t so stupid as all that.

“You kissed me like you were saying goodbye,” he snaps, and I curse myself vigorously for letting him see that deeply into my plans for today. “This thing with Justin isn’t happening.”

“You might be able to play pretend in the bedroom, but you’re not telling me what to do now.” I lift my chin, and his expression cracks a little. I know he’s just worried about me, that he’s just trying to help, that there’s all this weirdness between us that wasn’t there before and neither of us knows what to do about it.

We both pause at the sound of footsteps, and I scramble over to GG’s cage to pretend like I’m in here because of the damn rabbit.

“Dakota.” There’s a slight whisper from the hallway, and Maxx opens the door to reveal Delphine. She looks nervous, wringing her hands slightly in front of her. “There’s a girl at the gate, saying that she’s a classmate of yours. I thought I’d better tell you before Tess finds out.”

Maxx and I exchange a look.

“Want me to check it out?” he asks, and I nod. I have a bad feeling about this. Who would come to see me that wouldn’t think to message or call first? That’s right: fucking no one. Even under ideal circumstances, there are only two classmates who would ever come over here, and I don’t think either Danyella or Lumen are up for paying me a visit.

Please tell me it isn’t Maxine, I think, but even as X peels away from me, I know that’s who it’s going to be. Didn’t he say he tried to talk her down from coming over?

I feel nauseous, clutching a hand against my chest as I pace past Delphine and into my room. She joins me at the window, looking out and toward the gate at the end of the drive. It’s hard to see many details from here, but I can make out three figures on the other side of the gate. Two cops and a girl. With long dark hair. Wearing what appears to be overalls.

No, no, no, no, no.

Not only does my sister’s presence risk Parrish’s life—Justin forbid me from having any contact with her—but it also risks her life. I couldn’t handle that. I can deal with a lot of shit—even betraying my sister with her ex-boyfriend—but not any risk to her life. No way.

“Tess,” Delphine begins again, pausing to let out a long sigh. “I mean, Mrs. Vanguard, is in a foul mood today. I didn’t think she’d appreciate knowing that your friend was here.” She glances over at me, her brown eyes magnified by the lenses of her glasses, like doe eyes or something. At least she’s still talking to me. At this point, she’s one of a select few humans in my life who doesn’t hate me—with good, manufactured reason. Delphine lowers her voice to a whisper as I stare out the window, watching as Maxx literally runs down the length of the driveway.

So … he must’ve checked the gate cam. And then whoever he saw on it was fuel enough for him to sprint like a bat out of hell. He opens the gate, but when the person who I know without even being able to see shit is Maxine, rushes forward, he grabs her by the shoulders and walks her back a few steps.

The gate closes, and I can see her gesturing frantically as the two posted police officers look on with apparent boredom. Thankfully, the reporters have been pushed back to the end of the street, so they’re not right on top of that mess. They probably have a good view of it though. Will probably plaster the internet with pictures of the confrontation.

“Mrs. Vanguard threw her full coffee cup at the wall right after she got a phone call this morning.”

The shock of that news is almost enough to break my focus on Maxim and Maxine.

What great couple names they could’ve had. I shiver and grit my teeth, shame running hot and violent through me. How could I do that to her? How? What is wrong with me? Once again, Justin might’ve forced my hand, but he didn’t make me enjoy it. He didn’t make me arch back against Maxx as his fingers slid between my thighs. No, we’d already completed his ask by that point.

That was all me and Maxx right there.

We’re horrible people. Chasm and I are horrible people.

“Tess threw her cup?” I ask, struggling to imagine her losing control like that. But then I remember the way she almost threw herself at Justin yesterday. That would explain who was on the other end of that phone call.

“Dakota.”

It’s Tess. I startle so badly that I end up slamming my shoulder into Delphine as I spin around. She very frantically sprays the window and begins to swipe at the glass with a paper towel, keeping herself busy and off of Tess’ radar.

Looking at my bio mom’s face right now, I can see why. She has dark circles under her eyes and a deep-set frown that translates to the rest of her body in the form of tight shoulders and clenched hands.

“Justin will be here shortly,” she says, voice clipped. Her eyes dart to the side as I step forward, desperate to keep her attention on me and not on the commotion outside the gate. I need X to deal with my sister before Tess realizes she’s out there. Not only has the Slayer forbid me from my sister, so has Tess.

Like, I’m in huge fucking trouble here if either of them finds out about this.

Oh, Maxine. I love that you came for me. I love that you believe in me, that your trust is endless and implicit. But I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you at all. I miss you though. Oh fuck, how I miss you.

“Okay,” I reply lamely, struggling to split my attention between two crappy situations. I know what Tess is waiting for: she wants me to protest. To beg her to keep that man away from me. She opened her heart to me last night and all I did was ask stupid questions about her and Justin’s special places. God. I’m breaking apart on the inside. I need to be grounded; I need to feel like Dakota Banks again.

I close my eyes for a minute, wishing that I were back at home in my old room, with grandpa cooking dinner and grandma in her woodshop, Maxine chatting to her friends via video chat. I’d start the night playing games with my headphones on, but then I’d feel that familiar need to be with my family. I’d slip one side of my headphones off, just to hear them. Then the other. Eventually, I’d pry myself away from my game and the four of us would end up at the small table in the kitchen together. Maybe I’d be playing a game on my phone absentmindedly. Maybe Maxine would be texting her best friends. But we’d all be together.

I open my eyes again to find that Tess is still staring at me, waiting, I think, for me to say something. Anything at all.

“I’m ready to go,” is all that I can manage to get out.

Tess’ face tightens up even further, and she gives a curt nod, her eyes flicking over to Delphine.

“If you’ll excuse us a moment,” she says, her voice ice-cold. Delphine scrambles to pick up her plastic tote full of cleaning supplies and scurries out of the room, head low as she passes Tess, angling her body so as not to even brush against the woman’s arm. “Dakota,” she begins as I flick a quick glance behind me, desperate to see what’s happening between my sister and … X.

Last night’s sweaty memories come tumbling through my brain even as I look down to see Maxine throwing her arms around his neck. All sorts of crazy things happen inside of me, feelings that I don’t want, that I can’t control. I’ve been saying this whole time that I can’t control those feelings, that I can only control my actions.

And look at my actions last night.

I hate you, Justin Prior. I’m going to fucking kill you.

The vehemence that hits me with that thought is terrifying, both hot and cold all at once. It makes me sick. It makes me feel like an entirely different person. All along, this has been his goal, hasn’t it? Break me down. Test my limits. Reshape me.

Well, it’s working. It is, and I can’t stand the thought of that.

I need to rally. I need to pull myself together.

I force my attention away from the pair of them—even as I see X push my sister back as gently as he can—and make myself meet Tess’ eyes.

“If anything happens when you’re with him, I need you to call the police and then call me. Can you do that for me?” Tess’ face is impassive, bordering on cold, but her voice is thickened with emotion. “He isn’t going to be the perfect father he pretends to be. I know I haven’t made things easy on you. I’ve always … I’m a selfish person, Dakota. For that, I’m sorry. Just know that Justin isn’t going to be the fairy godmother that makes things easier on you.”

Is she trying to give me a rousing speech? A pep talk? Reassure me? Piss me off? I can’t decide. All of the above, maybe.

“Um.” I shift slightly, reaching up to push my hair back from my face. “I never thought that.”

“Yes, well. All I’m saying is, be careful with him. He starts off strong. He’ll love bomb you. He’ll make you feel like you’re his everything, the center of his world, lavish you with affection and gifts. Then he’ll turn. A tiger doesn’t change its stripes.” Tess sighs heavily and reaches up to rub at her temples. “I’ve been on the phone with my lawyer all day. She’s going to see about getting a court date set to establish permanent custody. What you say there, what you want, it will hold importance with the judge. Just … keep in mind what Justin can be like.”

What I say, what I want? Like when I went to court and pleaded to stay with the Banks, and was essentially told no, that the DNA inside my cells was more important than my own wants and needs? Bullshit. I call bullshit on all of this. Nothing that’s happening now has anything to do with me. I might be integral to this power struggle between Tess and Justin, but neither of them cares about what I want.

“Okay.” Just that. The easiest, most universal word in the entire world. Apparently, Coca-Cola and corona (like the virus) are the next two. Go figure.

Tess gives me another odd look before turning and heading back down the hall, the sound of her heels loud against the bamboo floors that cover the entire second floor. I spin back around to see Maxx making his way toward the house.

Maxine is still there at the end of the driveway, but she’s slowly drifting away. Her eyes lift up, scanning the ugly cube-like house with its myriad windows. Somehow, even though it seems impossible from this distance, I feel like she sees me.

She stops walking, and the two of us stare at each other—or at least in her case, the general direction of one another—and my heart breaks. I press my hand against the window, knowing that Delphine will have to clean my prints off and not caring. I just want my sister back. I want to talk to her so desperately that it becomes a physical pain, starting in my toes and traveling up to my scalp.

Miss you and love you fierce. Miss you and love you fierce. Miss you so goddamn much and love you so fucking fierce.

“Kota.”

It’s X.

I peel my hand away from the window, my gaze remaining on my sister until she finally—unfortunately—turns away and starts to walk back down the block toward her car. It’s a white Nissan Altima, 2006 I think. She inherited it from our great aunt after she passed. Like the car I was supposed to get from Saffron, a family heirloom.

Maxx opens my nightstand drawer, withdrawing my phone before snatching the Tess-phone from its tripod. He dumps them along with his own phone in Parrish’s room, clearly getting ready for an intensely private conversation with me; the book bag is still in the bathroom thankfully. He then collects the bug detector, shuts the curtains, and does another sweep of both the room and the closet.

When he snatches my hand, I let out a small sound of surprise at the strength in his grip—and the fire that rushes through my veins at his touch. He yanks me into the closet and shuts the door.

It’s mostly dark in here. There’s a series of small windows against the roofline, but they’ve got these special shudders on them—according to Tess, it’s to keep the sunlight out to preserve the integrity of my wardrobe —and they’re all half-slitted. Some light comes in, but not a lot.

Also, it’s absurdly bare in here. My clothes take up about a fourth of the massive space. The shoe racks are mostly empty, the jewelry cabinet in the center of the room filled with costume jewelry from back home, a few heirlooms from Grandma Carmen, and that’s about it.

“It was Maxine,” X confirms, his face a broken, twisted thing. He won’t even meet my eyes, running his tongue along his lower lip again, across that bite mark I left in the heat of the moment and now regret so bitterly that I can taste it. “She brought a letter for you.”

“No,” I snap, and then finally, blessedly, he flicks his eyes up to mine. We can’t hide from each other nor can we hide from what happened between us last night. Even though I really, really want to. “I can’t read it. What if Justin finds out? I’m not risking Parrish, especially not after …”

Maxx exhales, reaching up to tousle his hair as he leans his back against the wall. It occurs to me that last night was his first time, and guilt sweeps over me yet again. This isn’t fair. Your first time should at least be fun, even if the sex isn’t good (it was for us, but I’m just saying). It should be something you can laugh and joke about.

“What if I read it to you?” he suggests, but I’m already shaking my head violently.

“No.” I put both hands up, palms out. Knowing that Maxx has a letter on him from my sister, I … God, I want to hear her words so bad, even if he’s the one reading them to me. I turn away and pretend to be interested in the three hoodies hanging up beside me, reaching up to rub the sleeve of one between my fingers.

He moves up behind me, and I could seriously scream.

I spin around to look at him, but all that does is put us far too close together.

“How did … what did you say to her?” I ask and his face falls as he glances off to one side, the guilt I’m feeling more than apparent in his own expression. I’d give up my pinky finger to talk to my sister right now, yet I also can’t imagine how crushing that guilt would be in her presence.

“She wants to see you. She says she won’t ever give up on you. Never.” X grimaces again, and then takes a step back, turning away from me and brushing at his hair again. I can see the faintest edges of his angel wing tattoos peeking out the sides of his black tank. He glances back at me. “Maxine knows something is going on. She thinks it has to do with Tess, but still. She’s determined to ‘save you’.” He makes finger quotes and then sighs, turning away yet again and then reaching up to grab the pull on the shutters. He yanks it, flooding the room with light.

“And?” I choke out, watching as he reaches into his back pocket. There’s a glittery pink envelope there that is, like, so my sister that I nearly fall to my knees. My fingers itch to snatch it away from Maxx, just so I can look at her handwriting, so I can close my eyes and imagine her speaking the words written there.

If Justin … if he takes my proposal today, I may never see her again. It’s a distinct possibility.

“She hugged me,” he says, looking down at the letter. It’s sealed with a sticker in the shape of red lips. A kiss. A sticker kiss since she can’t give me an annoying big sister one right now. Knowing her, it’ll be a scratch and sniff sticker, too. She loves those, has since she was a little girl. We used to plaster them all over each other’s arms and then spend time sniffing ourselves and laughing.

I clamp a hand over my mouth as X glances back at me.

“She … said she was sorry for breaking up with me,” he adds, his voice so sad that it nearly breaks my heart. “That we should talk. And that’s when she hugged me.” He rips open the letter, and I cringe. He reads it quickly, eyes scanning across the page, across the pretty, loopy scrawl of her handwriting. He shudders, like the letter is too painful to bear, and then opens the closet door, just to make sure we’re still alone, I think.

Maxx closes it again and turns around.

“You know what I did? I told her that I didn’t want to see her anymore either.” He purses his lips into a flat line. “That I cheated on her with another girl.”

“No you didn’t,” I whisper back, but he nods.

“Anything less than the truth wouldn’t be fair.” He looks down at the letter again. “I told her that you knew she was at the gate and didn’t want to speak to her. That she should leave you alone unless you contacted her again. She asked if you were the girl that I cheated on her with.”

“No!” I yell back, and then I do end up sitting on the floor with my legs crossed, pressing my hands to either side of my face but careful not to cover my ears. I want to hear whatever it is that he has to say. I manage to lift my gaze up to his face as he moves over and then sits down in front of me, the letter still clutched in his hands. “You told her, didn’t you? You told her.”

“She said she doesn’t care about that. I’m just a boy, but you’re her sister,” he says with a slight smile. It fades as quickly as it came, but I’m honestly surprised he managed a pleasant expression whatsoever. I want to puke. “Let me read this to you. We’re alone. There are no cameras. The directive, remember? He said no contact. He didn’t say you couldn’t hear me read a handwritten letter that was given to me.”

“I can’t believe you told her,” I choke out, looking away from him, wondering what my sister must think of me now. I lift my thumbnail to my mouth and chew on it. Maxx reaches out and takes my hand gently in his, pushing it back into my lap. His touch wakes me up inside, stirs something deep in my soul. I wish it didn’t, but it does. There’s nothing I can do about that.

“Was it better to lie?” he asks softly, and I sense something else behind his words, something desperate, almost pleading. “I had to tell her—for both of us. Eventually, when we kick the Slayer’s ass—which we will—we can explain the situation. She may or may not forgive me, but she will absolutely forgive you. That’s what’s important.”

“You loved her, too,” I say, turning back to him. He grimaces yet again, letting his head fall back. X is clutching the letter in his fingers so hard that the page crinkles in his grip. “You wanted to get back together with her. This isn’t fair to you.”

“It isn’t fair to you either. Or to Parrish. To Chasm. To the fourteen dead kids that the Slayer murdered. To the … however many more people he plans on killing.” Maxx sits back, putting one palm on the floor to brace himself and extending his long legs beside my folded ones. “I need to talk to you, Kota.”

“Now?” I ask softly, because I’m already processing a lot today. Tears brim, but I flat-out refuse to let them fall. Maxine is the one who’s hurting most right now; I have to stay strong for her.

“Now.” X closes his eyes and lets his head fall back, still holding the letter in his left hand. It’s draped across his lap, tempting me more and more with each second that I stare at it. “I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

Um.

What?

I blink at him, but I can’t make myself talk. Not right now. I just wait.

“When I first saw you at the coffee shop, I knew right away who you were.”

I stay silent, still staring at him. My pulse starts to pound in my head like the shushing of the ocean waves against the shore.

“What?” The word is whispered, so quiet that I’m surprised he can hear it.

He opens his eyes and lifts his head to look at me again, green eyes blazing.

“You know, I’m worried about my parents actually. They’ve been acting weird as fuck lately. I mean, like, really weird. They demanded I come to the track yesterday even though they knew Tess was having a press conference and that I’d want to be there. I asked myself why they’d do that. They’ve known Parrish since he started kindergarten; I was in second grade at the same school.” Maxx taps his foot, staring at it instead of my face. I’m wondering if this is a non-sequitur or if he plans on segueing back into the fact that he fucking lied to me. The truth is important, he says. Important enough to tell Maxine about us.

So what is this about?

“They’re back in town all of a sudden, even though they rarely leave Portland anymore. All of that plus they’re staying at Seamus’ cabin. Doesn’t that seem odd?” I don’t know his parents, but I assume that he does, waiting for him to get to the point. I have a feeling that whatever it is he’s trying to say to me isn’t easy; he feels it requires explanation. “Did you know there’s a party on Friday?”

“Uh, okay?” I reply, feeling the minutes tick by. With each one, I get closer to seeing Justin again, to making my proposal, to … whatever comes after that.

“A big one. All the who’s who of Medina will be there.” He turns to look at me, an apology clear in his face. Even before he tells me what this is all about, he’s apologizing. I once said that Maxx was the sort of person who never apologized, but that only applies to his existence, to his taking up space, to being who he is unfiltered. When he’s wrong, he has no problem admitting it, no problem saying he’s sorry. “My parents are going to that. That’s why they’re here.”

“Maxx, you’re killing me,” I whisper back, shaking out my hands to keep myself from grabbing that letter. “What’s going on?”

“Justin is having a party on Friday. It’s the official launch party for Milk Carton. And my parents are planning on attending.”

Hmm. Well, that’s interesting news. And it might be relevant somehow to our situation with Parrish, but what does that have to do with him lying to me at the coffee shop?

“Anyway, when the news about your and Tess’ story first broke, it was actually my parents who encouraged me to seek Maxine out. They’d heard she attended U of O with me. They made it seem like they just felt sorry for her. Plus, we’re really close with the Vanguards, so it all made sense to me. I found her on campus, and we clicked.” He releases the letter, leaving it to lie on his lap, and crosses his fingers together. My heart seizes in my chest, but the reasons for that are complicated, so I choose to ignore them. “I really, really liked her. More than any girl I’d ever met before.”

I exhale sharply, shifting uncomfortably in my position and then finally uncrossing my legs. I stretch them out, mirroring Maxx’s pose, just in the opposite direction.

“But then I met you.”

“Please don’t say those sorts of things to me,” I warn him, but he’s on a truth bender apparently, and I’m not going to be able to stop it without fleeing him and this tiny, closed-in space. It’s packed with emotion in here, so dense that it’s almost hazy.

“I’m sorry, but it’s true. I can’t help it. I tried to. Especially since I could see from moment one that you were into Parrish.” He exhales again and then rubs at his forehead. I can see that he’s sweating slightly. From nervousness maybe? “Maxine is an incredible person. She’s the kindest, sweetest, most honest person I’ve ever met. She just … isn’t you.”

“You’re just saying that because we had sex last night.” I force the words out, even though I’m choking on them. It is what it is.

“I’m saying this because it’s true,” he growls at me. Like, for real. He growls it, sitting up and leaning toward me. I have a feeling that I’ve just gotten myself into big trouble with Maxx Wright. “I didn’t want to add to your shit, not with Parrish missing. Especially not after the thing with Chasm. I can see that you guys like each other, too.”

I look away again, but I can’t help it. I’m drawn to Maxx. I end up turning right back to him.

“But I can never go back to Maxine now. You know that; I know that; she knows that now, too. So what’s the harm in being honest?”

“Maxx!” I snap, getting up on all fours and getting in his face. “Spill it. I am rapidly running out of patience here.” My heart is pounding as I snatch the letter from his lap, and he lets have it. I sit down again, this time with my back against the wall to his right.

“The things I liked in Maxine were the parts of you that were similar. It wasn’t fair for me to continue a relationship with her anyway. I was … relieved when she broke up with me, to be honest. Even though I knew you and I could never happen. That you’d never betray her like that. I didn’t want to do it either. But … there’s nothing we can do about it now.”

He takes another deep breath, glancing over at the letter in my lap.

“Before we even met, I was hearing all kinds of stories about you. From Parrish. From Chasm. From my parents.”

“Your parents?” I ask, because I don’t even know their names . How could they have had an opinion about me?

“I assumed they’d heard something from Tess or one of their other friends. But none of it was good. Parrish and Chasm were bitching, but there’s nothing unusual about that. My parents though, they kept saying how horrible you were. Maxine, on the other hand, couldn’t stop saying how amazing you were.” He looks down at his hands in his lap, and I wonder then how he could’ve worried about our tiny age difference. He looks so young right now. When he lifts his head up to look at me again, I know we’re not done with the romance thing.

Just taking a break.

“I like to form my own opinions of people, so when you approached me in line, I didn’t tell you the full truth. I just wanted to see what you were like.” He releases a huge breath, like this is something that’s been bothering him for some time. “People have a tendency to be fake when they know they’re being judged. If you knew I was Maxine’s boyfriend right from the start, you would’ve been on your best behavior.”

“You know this makes you an asshole, right?” I ask, but I’m not even that mad about it. In the scheme of things, this is nothing. And the reason he feels so guilty about this is because he’s got a good heart. I’ve known that all along.

“I am an asshole,” he agrees, heaving yet another sigh. “I told you that. I know it. I try to stop myself from acting that way, but it happens sometimes. That’s one of the reasons that I avoided sex. It sort of opens you up.”

“Maxx, you were fine,” I tell him, and he lifts a brow.

“Fine?” he queries, his face squinching up slightly. “Just fine?”

A laugh bursts out of me, even though I don’t mean it to. I immediately feel guilty about it, but I can’t help it if he makes me laugh. I put my hand over my mouth and shake my head before dropping my hand back to my lap.

“You can tell me if Parrish or Chasm is better. It’s okay. Only my ego will hurt.” He hooks a slight smile, but it’s tinged with too much melancholy to take seriously. He’s trying to lighten the mood which I appreciate, but it’s like a drop in the ocean of my sadness.

“You’re all good. I heard guys your age suck. But not the three of you.”

“Mm. Well, I appreciate that,” he murmurs, and the low, softness of his voice makes my skin ripple with goose bumps.

I force my gaze down, and then unfold the letter.

As soon as I see my sister’s handwriting, my heart breaks all over again. How many times can that happen before it shatters irreparably, before I can’t put the pieces together anymore? A person can only use so much tape and glue, so many staples and nails, to cobble the shards of their damaged heart into something recognizable.

I hand the letter back to Maxx and close my eyes.

“You read it,” I instruct him. “Just in case.”

He takes it carefully from my fingers as I lean back against the wall and listen.

“Baby Sister, ” X begins, pausing to clear his throat.

That’s how it starts. I almost lose it right then, reaching up to dash tears from my eyes.

“I can’t even pretend to understand what you’re going through. The day that woman caught us at the coffee shop was one of the worst for me because I knew she’d try to keep us apart. That’s what I fear the most, that this physical distance between us will turn into emotional distance.

“When I gave you the phone, I hoped we’d be able to keep in touch despite that woman’s influence. ”

I smile a little because Maxine has always referred to Tess as ‘that woman’. She doesn’t seem to have any intention of changing that now. No matter how many times she has to write it or say it or type it.

“I don’t know what she’s done to scare you the way she has, but I will never give up on you. Never. I know you love me just as much as I love you. Kota, you will be my baby sister even when we’re old and gray. I am here for you, no matter what. Whatever happened, whatever she’s done, whatever you’ve done, it doesn’t change the way I feel about you.

“Talk to me, please. I miss you and love you fierce.

“Kisses and hugs from your Big Sister, Maxie .”

A choked sound escapes me, and I open my eyes, shoving up to my feet and throwing the closet door open.

Just in time apparently.

I happen to glance out the window at the same moment that a black limo rumbles past the gate.

Another limo.

Just like the white one that we took to the country club that day. I’ve since learned that it was Laverne’s limo. Parrish’s cranky old grandma can shove that limo right up her ass. She hasn’t even bothered to stop by since her grandson went missing, but I have heard her screaming over the phone at Tess and Paul both on occasion. She’s in Medina currently, however. I do know that.

“He’s here,” X says, moving up beside me. “Are you sure about this?”

“If I don’t go, Parrish dies,” I tell him, glancing back and meeting his beautiful eyes. I have no idea what’s going to happen between us—if anything at all. But I can’t think about that right now. “Wish me luck.”

I grab both of my phones from Parrish’s desk and head downstairs just in time to see Delphine opening the front door.

Justin Prior waits on the other side, charming smile already in place.

“Hello, princess,” he says, and then off we go.

To lunch with a deranged serial killer who murders teenagers.

Lucky me.