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The Final Countdown

It hardly seems possible: Your wedding day is just one week away. Even if you have remained relatively calm up until now, you may be surprised by the intensity of your emotions and the stress you feel as the hours until showtime slip away. If you weren’t intimidated at all about getting married outside, that may change the first moment you hear a forecast for rain. Now, more than ever, it is important to stay focused, to confirm all details, and to rest easy knowing you are prepared for anything.

What Can Go Wrong

It’s not news you want to hear, but it’s true. There is a good chance that something will go wrong during the course of your wedding. Like anything complex, the more moving parts a wedding has, the higher the probability of a malfunction. On the bright side, any mishap is likely to be small and inconspicuous to all but the two of you. With a bit of mental preparation, you will be able to take any minor problems in stride.

The Big Stuff

The beach where you planned to marry is closed due to an oil spill. A hailstorm lays waste to the garden where you are scheduled to wed. Your reception pavilion burns to the ground a week before your wedding. A national security threat closes the nearest airport. A hurricane threatens not only to foil your plans for an outdoor ceremony but to force a mass evacuation from the area.

Yes, something calamitous might impact your plans. Chances are slim, and it is important not to succumb to irrational fears, but you may feel more in control if you develop a crisis plan in advance. The plan should include these elements:

While it is a worthwhile exercise to think about how to cope with a serious incident that may require you to postpone your event, you should make your plan and then put it away. No amount of fretting can prevent a natural disaster, a human loss, a railway strike, or a whale beaching. The legal profession gives the name “acts of God” to things that are out of human control. Short of a change of heart, that would describe anything that would affect your ability to hold your wedding as planned, no matter how carefully you have prepared.

The Small Stuff

Aside from factors that would force cancellation of your wedding, anything else that could go wrong is really small stuff. Granted, it may not seem that way at the moment the groom can’t button his shirt collar, the bride tears a three-inch hole in her gown, the limousine has a blowout, the photographer calls in sick, the band gets lost and arrives two hours late, the cake begins to lean, or the best man bails due to a family emergency. You will recall these minor mishaps with laughter years from now, but they can send you into a frenzy when they catch you by surprise with your emotions already running high.

In spite of all of your preparations, you cannot possibly anticipate every little thing that might go wrong. Making a list and checking it twice will keep the number of possible surprises to a minimum, but there is still a chance that accidents will happen. When a mishap occurs, you will get through it with grace by thinking on your feet, brainstorming creative workarounds, and, most of all, remaining levelheaded.

Keeping Your Cool

Remaining dignified and tear-free when something goes awry on your special day is easier said than done. When a problem arises, take a deep breath. Next, call in some reinforcements to help you calmly assess the situation and to brainstorm quick and creative remedies. Your maid of honor may help you quickly realize, for example, that though the bouquet that was delivered from the florist is not the one you ordered, it is actually quite lovely and will do just fine. An aunt who is talented with a needle and thread might stitch a torn sleeve or a separated bodice in no time flat. Arriving by taxi may not be what you had in mind, but your photographer may be thrilled by the colorful substitute of a yellow cab for a drab black limo.

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The vast majority of people at your wedding will be oblivious to most things that don’t go quite according to plan. It can be disappointing when something you’ve worked hard to plan doesn’t materialize in quite the way you’d hoped. But if you can distance yourself a bit and view any mishaps from the perspective of guests, you will realize that everything appears to be fine.

While keeping your cool largely applies to managing emotions of disappointment and sadness, you may also find frustration and anger creeping up if you feel that a vendor has not delivered on a commitment. If you believe you have been overcharged or underserved, it is important to resolve to take matters up with the individual vendor at a later date. Your outdoor wedding under clear blue skies will be substantially marred if you engage in a red-faced shouting match. When you are in a calmer frame of mind, make notes about what happened, review your signed contracts, and, if necessary, retain an attorney to help you seek restitution.

Things to Do One Week Before

The week before your wedding day will be a whirlwind. Even though everything has essentially been arranged, there are many calls to make, details to doublecheck, and last-minute preparations to handle. Hopefully, you will be able to take time away from work or other obligations in these last few days so that you can focus on wrapping up final tasks, greeting guests as they arrive, and getting plenty of rest before the big day.

Calls to Make

You’ll be spending some time on the telephone during the seven days preceding your wedding day. While you may feel confident that your vendors are all set to go, it never hurts to touch base and reconfirm plans. Here are some calls you should make as your event draws near:

  Contact any invitee who has not yet responded so that you can firm up your guest count.

  Call your caterer or site manager to provide a final guest count and review menu and setup details. If your cake was ordered separately, check that your baker knows when and where to deliver it.

  Provide a final count to the restaurant or other facility that is hosting your rehearsal dinner.

  Confirm the rehearsal and wedding-day schedule with your officiant.

  Call your photographer to confirm the date, time, and shooting locations and to review the list of images that are most important to you. If you are using a videographer, confirm those details as well.

  Connect with your DJ or band to ensure that directions to the site are clear and that you agree on an arrival and start time.

  Call your florist to go over the details of when and where all bouquets, corsages, boutonnières, table arrangements, and other decorations are to be delivered.

  Confirm any hair, makeup, manicure, and other appointments that you have scheduled.

  Call your limousine company, horse-and-carriage service, or other transportation providers to confirm pickup places and times.

  Touch base with all wedding party members to be sure they know times and places to meet for the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, wedding, and any post-wedding events.

  Call your airline, car rental company, hotels, and any other travel providers to confirm your wedding night and honeymoon arrangements.

Site Preparation

In an ideal scenario, you could entrust every detail related to preparing your site to your wedding coordinator, the property manager, rental company employees, or your florist. Depending on the team you have assembled and the location you have selected, you may or may not need to take a hands-on role in readying the site for your event. At minimum, you may want to be present when setup begins to be sure that your ideas have been communicated clearly and that all will be arranged according to your plan.

If you will be taking a do-it-yourself approach to site design, it is important to assemble a reliable team of people to assist you. The shorter your time for setup, and the more elaborate your affair, the more helpers you will need. Keep in mind that it is likely to take longer than you anticipated to put everything in place, so allow extra time in order to ensure that you won’t face a race to dress, primp, and make it to the altar on time. Having a written plan and sketches of where everything should be positioned will help to coordinate efforts and speed preparations.

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It is important to determine exactly when you will have access to your wedding site for the purposes of setting up and decorating. Know who is scheduled to meet you to unlock any doors or gates, and be sure to confirm your meeting time and location, whether it is the day before or the morning of your event.

Once everything is in place, it is important to assess whether security is an issue. If you are marrying at a private property, the chances that anything will be disturbed are substantially smaller than if your ceremony is scheduled for a public place. Either way, it is a good idea to find out whether someone will be around to keep an eye on things until your scheduled start time. If not, ask a dependable family friend, neighbor, or other available person to watch your site during the interval between setup and ceremony.

Final Details

As the days until “I do” wind down, there are a few other chores to complete. Attention to these final details will help to ensure that your event goes smoothly.

  The groom should pick up and try on his tuxedo and shoes, and the bride should also try on her gown and shoes one last time.

  Be sure you have obtained a marriage license and stored it in a safe place. Decide who will take the license to the ceremony, and devise a reminder system so that you will not forget this all-important document.

  Pick up wedding rings from the jeweler, try them on, and store them in a secure place until they are entrusted to the best man and maid of honor.

  Wrap attendants’ gifts, assemble and deliver welcome baskets to hotels, and create a schedule of plane and train arrivals if you will be providing transportation for guests arriving from out of town.

  Gather all accessories, such as the bride’s stockings, garter, headpiece or hair clips, and jewelry and the groom’s cuff links, socks, and undershirt.

  Practice reciting your vows aloud.

  Create a seating arrangement, make placecards, and gather other items that must be delivered to the reception site, such as favors, programs, or the guest book and pen.

  Make final payments to vendors, or have checks ready for presentation on your wedding day. Purchase travelers’ checks or withdraw cash for your honeymoon.

  Pack clothes you intend to change into during or after your reception and also pack for your honeymoon if you will be departing shortly after the wedding.

  Type up your honeymoon details, including any flight itineraries and phone numbers for where you will be staying, and provide copies to your parents in case of an emergency.

  Record the details of any wedding gifts that have already been received.

  If you have not already done so, select a wedding gift for your spouse-to-be and set aside a special time to exchange tokens of affection.

Looking Your Best

The stress of planning an outdoor wedding can take a toll on your appearance. While the week before your wedding is not the time for a crash diet, a new fitness regimen, or a comprehensive makeover, here are a few things both the bride and groom can do in these final days to improve their chances of looking and feeling their best when the appointed day arrives:

Though it may seem silly, practice your smile in the days leading up to your celebration. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Smile at strangers you pass on the street. Smile when you are happy, when you are stressed out, and for no reason at all. More than anything else, it is your smile that will give you the perfect wedding day look.

Watching the Weather

Even if you are not usually prone to obsessive behavior, you may find it impossible to control the urge to check the weather forecast, even if you just checked it five minutes ago. You will wake up restless in the night and turn on the Weather Channel. You will subscribe to weather alert e-mail notifications from five different online sources. You will skip over the sports section, the headlines, and the funnies in your haste to see what the newspaper’s forecasters have to say, while simultaneously keeping one ear tuned to an AM radio station for the next live weather update.

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Unless a severe weather emergency is forecast, make a pact with your partner that weather talk is off limits until the day before your wedding. Distract yourselves by planning a special date, perhaps his-and-hers pedicures or a rendezvous at the place where you first kissed, during the week before the big day.

It is going to be difficult, but for your own sanity, you really should quit your weather habit cold turkey. The truth is, forecasts can change many times, from the early ten-day predictions right up until the morning of your event. Even then, forecasts for the day ahead are not always accurate. Checking the weather constantly can only lead to unhealthy, yoyo emotions. Allow yourself to check the weather forecast from your favorite source once each morning. Then turn it off. Remove those weather Web sites from your bookmark bar, and go back to reading the comics.

Rehearsals

A rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are traditionally scheduled prior to the wedding, usually the evening before. Since traditional indoor weddings are fairly straightforward, this is often more of a social occasion than anything else—a chance for family and wedding party members who may not have met each other to mingle and enjoy a relaxed evening together. When your wedding will take place outside, however, a bit more emphasis should be placed on the rehearsal portion of this event. Chances are good that the role of your attendants will be much more involved than walking from point A to point B, standing for a bit, and then exiting two by two. You will also need to be sure that everyone is prepared for both outdoor and indoor scenarios.

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Whether you incorporate it into your rehearsal or schedule a session at an earlier time, it is important to meet with your officiant to review your ceremony and to discuss the order of proceedings and any exact language you might want to use.

A Written Plan

One way to ensure that both your rehearsal and your wedding go smoothly is to create a detailed written plan for the day. Copies of the plan should be distributed to parents, wedding party members, your officiant, vendors, and anyone who has volunteered to help with setting up, cleaning up, escorting guests, or any other important task. Make sure the plan clearly indicates who has been assigned to handle each to-do list item. You may want to use a highlighter pen or boldface type to mark the items that pertain to each individual on his or her copy of the document. If possible, the plan should be in key participants’ hands a few days prior to the rehearsal so they can prepare any questions or raise concerns they may have.

What should be in your plan? Though it will vary based on the size and complexity of your event and on the availability of an on-site or contracted wedding consultant, here are some of the basics that you might include:

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Bring extra copies of your wedding plan to your rehearsal. Even if you have distributed the plan in advance, inevitably, someone will forget to bring a copy along. Keep these in a folder where you can keep them free of spills and tears, and distribute them as needed.

Practice Makes Perfect

The old adage “practice makes perfect” certainly applies to weddings. At your rehearsal, you will have an opportunity to walk the property once again, review setup details, provide participants with a tour of the facility, go over everyone’s positions and responsibilities, and run through the program for your ceremony step by step. Regardless of how carefully you have imagined and planned, doing a dry run normally turns up a few details that you hadn’t anticipated and allows you to make final decisions and adjustments. Approach your rehearsal with an open mind. If you find something that doesn’t quite work, you still have time to make changes.

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The little people in your wedding—flower girls and ring bearers—can be either adorable or horrible. A key to achieving the former, particularly in a distracting outdoor setting, is to dedicate a portion of your rehearsal to coaching them, discussing your expectations, practicing their entrance, and impressing upon them how important it is to stay focused on their job until the ceremony is complete.

Ideally, you will be able to book rehearsal time on the same evening at both your outdoor site and any indoor backup location you have reserved. If one or the other is not available, you should still rehearse both scenarios. If it isn’t possible to physically walk through the proceedings, gather key players around a table with copies of your written plan in hand. Like actors in a television show or play, verbally rehearse your entrances and lines. Provide as much description as possible so that participants will know what to expect. If a wedding party member misses the rehearsal, ask another bridesmaid or usher to provide a brief.

Assembling an Emergency Kit

From umbrellas to duct tape, there are a number of items you will want to have on hand for any unexpected situations. Your emergency kit should help you cope with the elements, make last-minute repairs, and treat minor injuries. Hopefully, you have already acquired many of the items that will allow you to feel equipped to handle any emergency. Now is the time to review your checklist and to devise a plan for transporting emergency supplies to your wedding site and storing them so that they are easily accessible should any problems arise.

What You Need

First and foremost, your emergency kit should enable you to ensure people’s safety and comfort. While a first-aid kit will probably be available if your location is open to the public, you should verify this. If you need to assemble your own first-aid kit, consider outfitting it with adhesive bandages and tape, alcohol wipes, antibiotic ointment, antihistamines, baking soda, a basic first-aid book, calamine lotion, chemically activated ice packs, cotton balls and swabs, elastic bandages, diarrhea medicine, eye drops, gauze pads and rolls, hydrocortisone cream, hydrogen peroxide, latex gloves, matches, needles, ibuprofen, safety pins, scissors, soap, a thermometer, and tweezers. You must also have a way to call for emergency help. If cell phone reception is unavailable or unreliable, consider renting a two-way radio or other communications device to summon assistance in the event of a serious accident.

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A sudden downpour could turn your list of important contacts into an illegible, soggy sheet. You may want to have one copy of your contact list laminated in order to protect it from the elements.

To help guests feel comfortable in an outdoor environment, be sure to pack sunscreen, insect repellent, bottled water, and items to provide extra warmth or relief from the heat. Have plenty of umbrellas and flashlights on hand in case a storm rolls through and darkens the sky. If you will be stocking restroom facilities, don’t forget to purchase plenty of toilet paper, paper towels, soap, lotions, feminine products, and air fresheners.

Wind and weather can disturb your carefully arranged decorations, so it is important to bring along a basic toolbox in case repairs are required. Stock your toolbox with a hammer, flat- and Phillips-head screwdrivers, adjustable wrench, utility knife, pliers, loaded staple gun, work gloves, duct tape, electrical tape, tape measure, bungee cords, twine, rope, nails, screws, fast-bonding glue, and a small handsaw. There are many other equipment items that may come in handy, including waterproof tarps and matches, a plunger, bucket, mop, broom, dustpan, utility light, fire extinguisher, towing chain, jumper cables, flares, orange safety vests for those directing parking, sponges, and a case of paper towels.

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Choose a bag with many clear compartments for all of your beauty supplies, rather than allowing them to float around loosely in a duffle or tote bag. This will allow you to find what you need quickly so that you can expedite primping and return to the party.

It is also important to be able to respond to beauty emergencies. Most brides select petite and dainty purses to carry, and they are lucky if they can squeeze a tube of lipstick and a powder compact inside. In a separate, larger bag, you will want to pack a complete set of the makeup you intend to wear, including foundation, blusher, powder, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, lipstick, and all brushes, sponges, or other applicators, along with moisturizer, sunscreen, a mirror, and a supply of makeup wipes for starting from scratch if necessary. Hair-care supplies, such as a comb, brush, curling iron, hairdryer, bobby pins, gel, mousse, and hairspray, are also a must. Also consider including tissues or a handkerchief, face-blotting paper, mints, toothpaste, a toothbrush, dental floss, deodorant, perfume, a sewing kit, safety pins, a lint brush, a backup pair of pantyhose, Band-Aids, antacids, pain-relief medication, prescription medications including birth control pills, feminine products, nail clippers, a nail file or emery board, and bottles of clear and coordinating nail polish.

Everything in Its Place

Having all of the right supplies on hand is important. It is equally crucial to be able to locate them quickly if and when an emergency develops. Organize like items together and clearly label the contents of each container. Be sure that more than one person knows the location of important supplies. You may even want to spell out in your written plan where you intend to store such things as the first-aid kit and the toolbox. Be sure that anyone who uses emergency supplies and tools returns them to their original spot.

Keeping Guests in the Loop

Your contact database has been compiled. Your communications strategy is in place. What remains in the final days leading up to your wedding celebration is the all-important job of remembering to put your plan into action.

A proactive communications strategy can head off the time-consuming phone calls from well-meaning friends and family members that are likely to begin the moment a less-than-fair weather forecast is announced for your date. Now is the time to post an update on your wedding Web site wishing any travelers a safe journey and welcoming everyone to your special wedding spot. If you were able to obtain e-mail addresses for the majority of invited guests, it may be a good idea to send a message a week before the big day reminding everyone of your inclement weather backup plans and expressing your optimism that you will be able to proceed as planned.

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If you are sending an e-mail message to a large number of recipients, etiquette dictates that you should address the e-mail to yourself and use the blind carbon copy (abbreviated “bcc”) option to send copies to those on your contact list. This protects the privacy of recipients’ e-mail addresses and eliminates the possibility that someone will inadvertently send a reply intended for you to the entire list.

You’ll be busy with myriad last-minute preparations, so make use of your answering machine. Each morning, record an updated message about the status of your plans that also instructs callers only to leave urgent messages. The week before your wedding is also a good time to enlist a volunteer, perhaps a younger sibling, to field phone calls and respond to messages on your behalf. Keep in mind, though, that there are some calls you should take, including those from wedding party members, vendors, your sweetie, and your mother.