I keep making bad choices. I’m currently slumped in a booth at a brewery with Cash, too drunk to get myself home, and worried about Maurice.
My friend seems way too sober to have been matching me drink for drink, and he stares at me like he’s waiting for me to say something. “What?”
Cash rolls his eyes and growls. “Have you been listening to me at all?”
I shake my head. At least I think I do. I got my final rabies shot today and took the afternoon off, too overwhelmed by the needle and having ruined things with Eila to even consider objectively inspecting anybody’s property.
Cash snaps his fingers in front of my face. “I asked you the plan to win her back. What’s your grand gesture?”
I squint at him. “I have no plan. I suck at this. I can’t solve this problem.”
Cash waves a hand. “This is a solvable problem. What’s she like?”
I smile despite myself. “She’s like sunshine. And hailstorms. And oregano.”
Cash laughs and pulls my beer away from me, replacing it with a cup of water. “Dude. I meant what things does she enjoy. I should probably take you home…”
I’m about to tell him Eila likes plants and air conditioning when Piper appears at the door of the bar with … no.
“Cash, you aren’t going to believe who I had lunch with today.” Piper tugs Eila Storm to the booth and nudges her to sit. She sits stiffly at the edge of the bench. Cash looks confused and Piper laughs. “Eila! Ben’s Eila is Esther’s Eila. I don’t know why I didn’t put it together before. I mean, there are a lot of Isla’s with an I…”
Cash grins at my lady-friend. “So, you’re Esther’s sister. And Ben here has been wooing you.”
I stare at Eila, watching as her cheeks turn pink. She swallows. “He has.” She presses her lips together and the only sound comes from the din in the bar.
Piper slaps the table and turns to Cash. “We should probably go get Ruby.”
He looks at his watch. “We’ve got another hour.”
Piper leans forward toward Eila and me. “I’m so sorry he’s so thick-headed.” She turns to face Cash. “Take me home and massage my feet, and then we’ll go get Ruby.”
Cash scratches at his beard and I watch as he realizes his girlfriend wants to give Eila and me some privacy. They’re gone before I can figure out what to say, so I just sip my water.
Eila sniffs. I stare at her. “God, you’re beautiful,” I blurt out. I reach for her face and remember that she’s mad at me, so my hand just sort of hangs in the air for a bit.
Eila smiles. But not all the way. “I’m really sorry I snapped at you and ran out, Ben. It wasn’t really about the hops.”
“I love your hops idea, Eila. I think it’s so unique.”
She nods. “It is, isn’t it? But, I yelled at you for caring instead of managing my own shit.”
I shake my head. “I was letting logic get in the way of validating your emotions.”
She sniffs. “What does that even mean?”
I sigh and sink deeper into the cushioned booth. “I hardly know. These are things I talk about in therapy now.”
Eila leans back against the booth and turns her head to face me. We slump together side by side and she says, “I need to get some of that. Therapy.”
I nod. “It’s hard work. But I think it helps.”
She grins. “So, I think I found a lead on a real job. One with benefits and all.”
I pat her hand. “You’re one step closer to a rabies vaccine, then.”
“Yeah.” She snorts. “Want to help me with my application?”
“Are you kidding? I want to help you with everything, Eila. Except shopping for my dog. He does not require a wardrobe.”
Eila reaches for my water glass and takes a swig. “We will have to agree to disagree about that, Ben Barber. Maurice would look fetching in a jaunty scarf.”
She squeezes my hand and then, seeing an employee emerge from the service entrance of the brewery, pops out of her seat. I squint as Eila slides her hands into the pockets of her overalls, biting her lip and talking to the man in rubber boots.
I smile when the man does, extending his hand for a shake, which Eila accepts before making her way back over to the table. I like that I have enough context to guess why she’s talking to that guy.
Eila shrugs and says, “He’s interested in seeing some paperwork about my hop lot.” Overwhelmed with pleasure and desire, I lean across and kiss her cheek, resting my head on her shoulder.
Eila wanted to walk to the library to work on her job application, but I remind her that I have a laptop along with excellent air conditioning. She agrees to soberly drive my car home and help me get Maurice situated in exchange for whatever help she thinks I can offer her on the cemetery job application.
I watch from my kitchen window in lustful awe as she holds an umbrella over my dog while he pees on a trash can in the alley. The whole thing is weird and wonderful. When the two of them come inside, I greet them with treats: dog biscuits for Maurice and a glass of nearly frozen water for Eila, who sinks onto my piano bench with a sigh as she cradles the cold cup to her chest.
“How on earth did you find a plant job at a cemetery,” I ask, typing in the password to my laptop and, embarrassingly, hiccupping.
She shakes her head. “I didn’t. My sister’s friends knew about it. Cemetery horticulture is a whole thing. Like … a whole thing.” She gestures for the laptop and clicks around. I lean toward her from the chair as she balances the computer on my covered keyboard. She points at the monitor.
“I won’t even be dealing with graves. I’d be literally designing the landscaping, tending the trees, fighting back the knotweed.” Eila claps her hands. “I already want to ask them if they’ve considered bringing in goats rather than using pesticides. And what if they let me install some bee boxes? I could get my whole family involved. The job listing says that as a designated arboretum they have to provide some community education…”
I reach a hand out to rub a thumb on Eila’s cheek. I can’t help it. And I inhale sharply when she rests her face against my hand, like she enjoys this touch. “Eila, it sounds perfect for you. All plants and no public.”
The grin on her face lights up my entire room and I forget it’s cloudy today. She waggles her eyebrows. “Would it be in poor taste if I asked about growing a hops garden in the cemetery?”
I spit out a laugh. “Maybe save that ask for after you’re hired.”
She scoots closer to me, and I drag the chair a bit closer to the piano bench, vowing to get actual furniture as soon as I’m sober enough to order some online. Eila clicks around on the online job application, seeming to forget that she asked for help. I watch her type, listening to her talk to herself as she does so, glad for the opportunity to just be close to her. She doesn’t struggle with any of the questions and only pauses to tap her lip with her finger as she seems to calculate dates.
With a small gasp, she says, “That’s the whole thing. Should I wait to send it?” She looks at me and I shake my head.
“Do it. You got this. You are uniquely qualified.”
Eila squeezes her eyes shut and clicks submit. Then she lets out a roar. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I did that. What if they don’t call?”
“They will.”
She turns to face me as I gently close the laptop and move it beside me on the chair. “But what if they don’t?”
I reach for her hand and squeeze. “Then we’ll find another job and I’ll help you apply for it.”
She gives me a little push. “Yeah, like you helped so much with this one.”
I laugh. “Look. I provided excellent atmosphere for peak concentration.”
Eila nods. “That’s true.” She takes a deep breath and smooths out her hair. “Will you play a song for me?”
My eyes widen. “Of course.” Even fall-down drunk, I could play the piano. And I’m well on my way to sober at this point. Eila slides over on the bench and I join her on it, not even caring that she’ll be in the way of the lower keys. I might just choose a song with a lot of low notes, so I have the excuse to lean against her while I play them.
Instead, I aim for an Irish song about gardens in honor of Eila’s new endeavor. She watches intently as I pluck through the melody, swaying a bit with the upbeat song. When I play the last note, I let my fingers hover above the keys, so the final chord echoes in the room. As soon as the sound breaks, Eila squeaks and throws her arms around me. She presses her mouth to mine, kissing me softly, tentatively.
I turn to draw her in closer and return the kiss, but I don’t deepen it. Not now. Instead, I pull her in tight in another hug. I hold her for a long time, until I feel her relax into my chest. “This isn’t just a fling for me, Eila,” I whisper into her hair.
I feel her nod against me. “I know that.”
I inhale a shaky breath and reach for the confidence I feel when I’m playing music, for how I felt making love to her the other night. Because that’s where my head and heart are right now. “I’m falling for you, Eila.” It feels inadequate to say that, because the truth is I fell for her the minute I saw her.
“Ben.” She pulls back and meets my eye, a smile on her face. “Me, too.”