4

Selah started to laugh. She clutched at the rumbling in her chest and expelled a huge gush of air. “Oh, Mother! I never knew you had such a scary sense of humor. You really had me going for a minute there.”

“Your real father ended our marriage before you were born so he could protect us from the Company.” Mother remained stone-faced. She slid from the bed, padded barefoot to the window, and drew back the drapes. Sunlight spilled into the room. She moved to a cedar chest in the far corner, squatted, and rummaged through the contents until she found a small metal box near the bottom. Holding the box to her chest with both hands, she turned to face Selah.

Selah watched her mother walk toward her as though she were going to the gallows. Her last few steps faltered, but she sat on the bed and opened the box with pale, shaking hands.

“This is no joke.” She sat on the bed and placed the box between them. Yellowed folded sheets of paper came into view.

“What is this?” Selah reached for a paper.

Mother touched her hand. “You need to hear this from the beginning.”

Selah shook her head and moved to leave. “No . . . you’re scaring me.”

Mother reached out to stop her. “Selah, you need to hear this.”

Selah’s mind turned to scrambled eggs. No. No more words. She tried to squirm free. Tears welled in her eyes. The rational part of her brain screamed for her to cover her ears and flee far away before her world crashed. But Mother’s hand kept her rooted to the spot.

Mother used her free hand to open the top page with the kind of care usually reserved for handling her delicate pastries. “You’ve come of age, and unfortunately it’s time you know the truth about your heritage.”

Selah stared, afraid of what might come next. Finding out her mother had betrayed her father during their marriage was tantamount to murder in her book.

“You were conceived when I was married to Glade Rishon.” Mother held out a yellowed document.

Okay, so it wasn’t betrayal in marriage, it was another husband. Selah pushed her hand away. “I don’t want to hear this. You’re telling me the only father I’ve ever known isn’t really my father, and you expect me to just stand here and calmly listen?”

“You have told us for weeks—no, months—that today you would be a grown-up. Actually, you demanded it. Well, these are grown-up problems. I’m sorry that it came to this, my darling, but you need to know the truth. Your survival will depend on it.”

“Survival? And you called me a drama queen.” Selah slumped to the bed.

A strangled sob pushed from Mother’s throat. “You are now among the hunted.”

Selah shook her head. “I am not one of them! This is lunacy.”

“Your real father was one of them. He told me before he left this might happen to you, but I always gambled that it wouldn’t.”

The realization finally settled on Selah like a boulder. She jumped to her feet. “This is insane. Why are you trying to ruin my life?”

“I’m trying to save your life.”

“I need to talk to my father.” He would fix this. He always fixed everything, even when she sometimes didn’t like his ultimate answer. He would not force her to leave home and never see the family again. She could explain. She hadn’t meant to defy his order. It was an accident.

“You shouldn’t do that,” Mother said in a small voice.

Selah turned to leave again. She looked back to her mother. “Why? Why can’t I talk to the man who’s been my father for eighteen years?”

“Because he came here as a Lander. His mark didn’t remain after the first day. He’s hated other Landers since then, and he trained you and the boys to hate them. He’s jealous and vengeful, and I can’t help him with those feelings.” She shook her head.

“But why would he take it out on me?” Her thoughts mashed into a jumble of emotions. Maybe this explained why he spent more time with the boys and seemed to ignore her now that she was grown. She’d felt it before. She really was adopted. It was more than fanciful imagination.

“You would be an extension of all that he hates.”

“I-I would be . . . Are you telling me he doesn’t know about my real father?” Her heart sank even further. He didn’t know her father was a Lander, yet he treated her differently than his own boys. So his indifference was just because she wasn’t his blood.

Mother buried her head in both hands. Her shoulders trembled, wracked with sobs. “There was just no right time to tell him. After he confessed his story and the disdain he felt . . . Well, then I couldn’t tell him. I was afraid of what he might do to you.”

Selah shook her head. “He’d never hurt me.” She couldn’t be sure of that, but saying it helped her to feel better.

“I couldn’t take the chance. You’ve always said yourself he favors the boys over you.”

Selah stopped in her tracks. Anger welled in her. “So what happened to my brothers? No, wait! They aren’t my brothers, they’re Father’s sons.” She slapped her palm to her chest. “Why didn’t Raza or Cleon get this mark? Why did only I get it?”

Mother shook her head. “I don’t know. But I do know that Glade’s mark—er, your father’s mark—remained on his forehead, so maybe that has something to do with why you got one and Raza and Cleon didn’t when they turned eighteen. They also didn’t come in contact with Landers the day before. Your father knew the possibilities, and we made sure to keep them at home. I don’t know how he does it, but he has more information about the Landers than anyone in our clan.”

Selah wiped her sweating palms on the hem of her nightshirt. Too much to process. Too many emotions trying to wrestle for the top spot.

Mother strangled another sob and shook her head. “You’re just so headstrong. I tried to keep you home yesterday without tipping my hand to your father.”

“Were you ever going to tell me he wasn’t my father?” Selah started pacing the room. Mother had always prided herself on telling the truth, but this was the biggest lie of them all. She wanted to strike back and tell her mother all she had seen and heard yesterday, but her insides were collapsing. This was life-changing and earth-shattering.

“No, that was one of the conditions Varro Chavez set before we married. You were never to know that he wasn’t your real father. But I vowed in my heart when Glade first left that I would honor my love for him all of my days.”

“Is that why you kept Rishon and never took Chavez as a name?”

Mother nodded. “It’s not unusual for women to keep their family name if they are the last offspring, so no one ever thought anything of it.”

“But Rishon was your married name, not your family name.”

“I’m sorry,” Mother said. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She sat statue-still.

Father. Stepfather. Deception. Fear. All jumbled together. She didn’t know why but she began to laugh. “And here I always thought I was adopted because Father seemed to love the boys more.” The laughter turned to anguished crying. “It was the truth all this time. I’m such a loser that my own father left me behind.”

She darted toward the door. She needed air. Time to think.

“That’s not true.” Mother rushed around her, blocking the way. She tried to wrap her arms around Selah but she pushed away. Mother grabbed her hand. “Please come back. Let me tell you the whole story before you decide how you feel. I know this is a lot for you to handle at one time. But we don’t have the luxury of time.”

Selah’s head hurt. Too many things were trying to filter into her brain. Her chest hurt and she didn’t understand why, which only added more fuel to the headache pounding in her temples. Her brain threatened to explode, but she reluctantly followed Mother back to the bed.

Mother sat and patted the spot beside her, but Selah didn’t want to sit. Her mother busied herself rooting through the folded papers. “Your real father and I fell in love the day I saw him on the shore in Georgia. We were married for almost four years before I became pregnant with you, and we thought our marriage would be complete with a baby. Then they started the hunting.”

“You mean no one hunted Landers back then?”

“No, there were whole communities of Landers and normals living together in peace. They didn’t make the bounty announcements until I was about six months pregnant. We fled from Georgia because people went crazy at the thought of easy money just for capturing people who were different. Your father, Glade, felt we would be safer if he left us.”

“But didn’t you fight to stay with him?”

“Glade was a very stubborn man, and he frightened me with stories of what they might do to you since you would be a hybrid. He took me to our Borough Council and they pronounced the marriage ended. I let him leave, but then I had a change of heart and tried to follow.”

“You never found him?” The pounding in her temples began to subside.

“No, after three months of traveling I made it here before I went into labor. Your stepfather was traveling through the area and found me along the road. His wife had died giving birth to Cleon during their travels to escape the plague. He was so out of his element with Raza as a three-year-old and Cleon as a baby. But he helped me through your delivery and offered to let me stay with them if I’d help with the children.”

“And you never went back to looking for my father?”

“I couldn’t take a new baby on the road. It was a very hard life. The only reason I escaped attack from marauders for the three months I was on the road was because I was hugely pregnant and none of them wanted to tackle that problem.”

“So you just gave up?”

“Yes. Your stepfather was so caring and gentle during that time that I eventually learned to love him. He felt we needed to marry right away so I wasn’t looked upon as an unmarried woman with child. And since we were both new to the area, no one would be the wiser. We spent all the credits we possessed between us to pay the Borough official to marry us and keep it quiet that we arrived with children and unmarried.”

“You never found out what happened to Glade?” Saying his name out loud pushed a warmness into her chest. Selah felt a strange calm wash over her.

“No, I couldn’t risk it with a child, and as I said, I eventually came to love your stepfather. I felt my time with Glade was lost. He did leave me several letters he’d written over time and never gave to me. I want you to have them. Maybe you’ll interpret some clue I may have missed and it will help you find him.” She quickly placed the letters back in the box, pulled a small leather bag from the drawer in her side table, and shoved the box into it, then pressed the bag into Selah’s hands.

Selah clutched the brown drawstring bag to her chest. This was happening too fast to process. She felt like she was standing outside the house looking in a window. Maybe this was really a nightmare. She pinched her arm and pain shot up to her elbow.

Thunder rolled through her chest again. Her hand slid up the center of her ribcage as her heart pounded with a vengeance. No, not a nightmare. Real. But this time the thunder brought peace. She didn’t understand why.

“Why do I have to go? I could hide the mark.” She rubbed at her chest. It didn’t distress her as much now.

“It took several years before your stepfather admitted he’d been a Lander. He has some kind of strange sense about the mark. He knows when there’s one nearby and he’d figure it out. I’m afraid of what he’d do, and I’m torn because I do love him.”

“You would choose him over me?” Her mouth went dry.

“No, never, but we’ve got Dane to think about. He’s so young and he loves his father. Do you want him to lose a father the way you did?”

“No,” Selah said. “But this isn’t fair. Why do I have to suffer?”

“I’m sorry, but we have no choice. I can’t take Dane from his father. None of this is his fault.”

“So it’s my fault?” Selah stared. It seemed like she was always giving in so the boys could be treated better. Hadn’t this been the reason she’d felt adopted in the first place? Don’t mess with the precious boys’ psyche, but rip hers to pieces and then throw her away.

Mother squeezed her eyes tight. “If only you had listened and not gone—”

“Okay, I get it!” Selah pounded her fist into her other hand. If only covered it all.

“If I want to keep you alive, you have to leave.” Mother put her hands over her eyes.

Selah’s eyes darted about, landing no place in particular. “Where would I go?”

“Glade talked about traveling north. He said there were other Landers in that direction, but that’s all I know,” Mother said. In the morning light her face took on a worn and haggard look that Selah had never noticed before.

“We know all captured Landers wind up at the Mountain,” Selah said, thinking out loud while she still had Mother’s advice to guide her.

“You’ve been to the Mountain with your—with Varro and the boys. So you know how to get that far. I’ve got maps and drawings hidden away that Glade saved. You can take everything.” Mother scrambled to her dressing table and pulled out one of the long, narrow drawers at the top. She pressed her palm on the bottom. A false panel slid away and folded papers fell out.

Selah stared. She had never known of her mother’s secrets and now there seemed to be so many. “Where did that come from?”

Mother hurried back to the bed and shoved the papers in the leather bag. “Glade built that for me when we were married. It was the only thing I brought from Georgia in my small wagon. It made me feel close to him, being able to lay my hands where he laid his.”

Selah watched her mother. Did she really know this person of secret drawers and furniture, of memories?

“I will give you all the credits I’ve saved from my sewing and weaving,” Mother said.

Selah snapped out of her thoughts. “But those are your savings. What if you need them?”

Mother took both of Selah’s hands in her own. “Nothing is more important than your safety. I just wish I could help you more, but I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, I’m not taking your bio-coin. I can survive on my own. I think. Is it all right if I’m afraid?” She was having trouble breathing. She didn’t know if it was fear squeezing her lungs or the rumble invading her chest.

Mother brushed the stray hair back behind her ears. “Yes, my sweet. It is fine to be afraid. It will help keep you safe.”

“I don’t know if I can bear not seeing you.” The words caught in Selah’s dry throat. Who would love her? Offer her advice? Hold her hand when things were tough?

Mother placed her hand on Selah’s chest. “Follow your heart. I will always be with you.”

Selah smiled weakly. It was easy to say but so hard to put into practice. She patted her mother’s hand. “When I woke this morning, I wished for a whole new life and a chance at independence. I just didn’t know it was going to happen this way.”

“I always knew there was a possibility. I just hoped this day would never come. But I’m confident I’ve prepared you for a life in this world, with years of lessons on plants, weapons, maps, and survival. You’re a strong woman, Selah. You’ve learned well. I know you can survive.” Mother nodded.

“I’m not feeling very strong.” Selah rubbed a finger across her scar, then fisted both hands on her hips as her legs trembled. The leather bag dangled by the rawhide strings. “I’m feeling scared.”

Selah swung the backpack from her shoulder and let it fall to the ground. Like any other day, the birds twittered and she heard an occasional screech from the pair of hawks that made their home in the huge tree next to the larger barn. She would never hear them again. She would miss watching the nest grow in size every year, but maybe someday . . .

She slid onto the boulder at the end of the dusty road leading to their storage barns, pulled her knees up to her chest, and leaned back on her hands to drink in the scenery, wanting to commit every detail to memory. She stared at the east field. It was only June, but in a few more months the field would be sown with the flax that supported Mother’s linen business. The sun sat low in the morning sky, creating long shadows along the tree line in the field. It looked like a line of soldiers. Were they watching over the body from yesterday? Her shoulders tightened at the thought. Her hands pressed onto the irregular surface as her fingers rubbed the rock. This would be the last time she could ever be here.

Her teeth began to rattle so she shut her eyes and clenched her jaw. Today should have been a day of celebration about coming of age. No school, the possibilities of joining the family business, and a whole host of adult endeavors she’d always relished the idea of doing. Well, all except getting married. A smile creased her lips as she guessed that plan was now off the table. The one bright spot in this mess.

Now she owned her freedom. Actually, she probably fit the category of fugitive better. Her hand went to her chest, fingering the reason. Looking down, she could see the leading edge of a wing peeking out below the scooped-out neck of her sleeveless top. The spot still sparkled with feeling, sometimes pounding like thunder. How could one single act like touching a stranger have caused this?

Tears welled in her eyes. Selah squeezed her eyes shut again and swallowed the lump forming in her throat. It wouldn’t help to cry.

Bodhi Locke sat on a bale of hay in the darkened stall, watching the morning sun filter through the weathered barn boards. It created vertical shafts of light on the hay-strewn dirt floor, reminding him of containment bars. Jail. Seemed like that was working out to be his lot in life lately. His hands and legs were shackled, but he knew he could be free if he chose. Other than a very sore spot on his head, which he healed by concentrating on it, he didn’t feel an immediate threat.

Last night he’d feigned unconsciousness and listened as the two men talked. If he let them carry him north before he escaped, he would be closer to finding others. He didn’t understand all of what was going on. There were still fuzzy parts to his thinking process. The girl from yesterday had shown him how he got here, and he was almost certain he understood why, but now he needed to know how to get home.

Bodhi cleared his mind and watched the dust filtering through the sun streams. He could feel others, a few close, others far away, and some very strange. The vibrations weren’t always friendly and were at times even sorrowful. Like a beacon, they pulled him, guiding him in their direction. But it was not the Presence. What kind of place has others but no Presence? In all his years he had never heard of such a land.

A scraping on the door cut into his thoughts. Bodhi looked up. Bright light streamed into the barn as the door swung out. One of the men from last night entered, looked at Bodhi, and strode around him to the other side of the stalls. He eased onto a bale of hay and pulled himself up to sit cross-legged directly across from Bodhi.

“You normally treat strangers like this?” Bodhi scowled and held up his shackled hands.

The man looked down at his own hands. “Sorry ’bout that, but you’re not to be trusted.”

“Not to be trusted! You don’t even know me!” Bodhi yelled.

The man flinched. “We know your kind. They all act the same.”

Bodhi bolted to his feet but was jerked back to the bale. He hadn’t noticed the end of the chain tethered to the wall. “What do you mean, my kind?”

“Landers.”

“I don’t know what a Lander is, or where I am.”

“I do,” the man said in a low voice.

Bodhi glared at him and sat forward. “What do you know?”

The man pulled away from the front of the bale. “Everything.”

“Are you going to tell me or do I have to bodily harm you?” Bodhi asked, raising his voice.

The man scrambled from the bale and ran for the door.

Bodhi softened his tone. “Wait! Come back.” He ground his lips together. He didn’t have a clue about being diplomatic. That wasn’t his style.

The man slowed to a stop in the open doorway.

Bodhi tried to remember how to act contrite. “I’m sorry. That’s rude of me. What’s your name?”

The man looked back, seeming hesitant to return.

“Please. Come back.” Bodhi feigned a smile, lifted his shackled hands in a submissive palms-up gesture, and pointed at the bale across from him. “Maybe we can trade information.”

The man cracked a smile, pulled the door shut, and walked back to where he’d been sitting. “What more can you tell me about Landers?”

“First, introductions. I’m Bodhi Locke. Who’re you?” He knew the civility of common people, and although he’d never found a reason to need to practice it, it would come in handy now.

The man lowered his eyes. “I’m Cleon Chavez. You saved my sister yesterday from those rowdies from Waterside. Thanks. They’re known for kidnapping young women, and captives don’t come back.”

Bodhi thought for a second. “I got knocked out and trussed like an animal as a thank-you.”

Cleon grimaced. “Sorry, that’s our brother Raza.”

“Why?”

“For the bio-coin.” Cleon shrugged.

“Bio-coin?” Bodhi pulled back. “You talking about money?”

“Yes, there’s a large bounty on your kind.”

Bodhi stared. “Why?”

Cleon shrugged. “Don’t know. The Company up north pays good for Landers keeping that mark on their foreheads.” He gestured at Bodhi’s head.

Bodhi rubbed his forehead. “There’re people like me without the mark?”

Cleon nodded vigorously. “Sure are, they’re not worth spit. We’re supposed to wait twenty-four hours and see if the mark stays put before we take ’em in.”

Bodhi’s chest clenched. It had never occurred to him anyone could lose the mark of the Presence. Suddenly he grabbed his forehead. His breathing became labored. “Is mine still there?”

Cleon nodded. “Yep. It’s right there. You’ll make Raza real happy when he gets back with Father and the wagon.”

“They’re not here?” Bodhi put on his best face. Testing the waters for later when they were closer to his objective. “Could I bribe you to let me go?”

Cleon chuckled. “It would make Raza powerful mad. Couldn’t risk it.”

Bodhi grinned, trying to befriend him. “You’re afraid of your brother?”

“Yes. He hates me as it is.”

That wasn’t the answer Bodhi expected, but he decided to take it further. “Never heard of brother hating brother. Why is that?”

Cleon looked down at his hands. “Not something I want to talk about with a stranger.”

Bodhi sat forward. He needed to work the friendship angle. The loop on his chains jangled on the floor, reminding him this wasn’t one of his games. “Fair enough. Tell me more about the people like me. Do you know where we came from?”

Cleon leaned forward and put his hand near his mouth as if to shield the words. “I heard one say he came from the Kingdom, and he was sorry for the transgressions that got him sent here. Said he was going to spend the rest of eternity trying to atone for them.”

“Why are you whispering?”

“Because the guy sounded nuts and my father hates you people. I’d get a whippin’ if he heard me talking about Landers to a Lander.”

Bodhi felt like he’d been punched in the chest. Transgressions. What had the man done? Why was he willing to atone? Bodhi knew what he’d done but didn’t feel the need to beg for forgiveness. He figured there’d be some other way to get home than bow and scrape. It was his life and he was going to live it on his own terms.

Bodhi tamped down his anger. There was time enough for that later. Right now he needed to figure out how to get away once they got closer to his target. His head was getting clear enough to think, but it distressed him feeling others who were scared. He’d never felt them in fear before. “Did the guy say where home was?”

“He said across the ocean.”

“Ocean! Pacific or Atlantic?” Bodhi’s head jerked in the direction of the door.

Cleon looked around and then back at Bodhi with a questioning look. He hopped up from the bale. “Someone’s coming.”