| LIST 82 | 12 Things to do With Your Body After You're Dead |
1
Around the world
Vera Anderson always wanted to travel, but her emphysema and heart problems meant that she never made it out of the Midwest. When she died at 78 in early 2001, her son Ross arranged her final wish—a worldwide trip. Using half of her ashes, he sent a small packet to the postmasters at the capitol of each US state and each of the world's 191 countries, asking that they make sure the ashes were put in a proper place, perhaps with a ritual. The BBC reports:
Vera's ashes have entered the stream in front of the Royal Castle in Stockholm, Sweden. They have toured Thailand, been to Malta, and dusted the snows of both the Earth's poles…. The Aymara Indians held a burial ceremony for them at Lake Titicaca in the Andes. And a nun at a South American orphanage now considers Vera Anderson her guardian angel. The ashes were sprinkled along the Choo Praya River in Thailand, on the Alabama state capitol grounds in Montgomery and within sight of Kiev, the capital of Ukraine.
2
Reef
If you'd like your body to become an octopus' garden, have Eternal Reefs handle the cremains. They'll mix the ashes in with a super-strong, environmentally-friendly concrete, casting it as an artificial reef. The reef—with or without a plaque—is put into the ocean, where it quickly gets covered in sea life and, if it's large enough, may become home to various fish or turtles. The cheapest option is $995, with prices up to $4,995.
3
Space
If your postmortem travel plans go beyond earth, you can get part of your ashes launched into space. Celestis will send one gram or seven grams of cremains into orbit around the Earth. (Approximately 100 people—including Gene Roddenberry and Timothy Leary—have put a pinch of their ashes on the space express.) Of course, the satellites containing the ashes will eventually reenter Earth's atmosphere, burning to nothingness, but it'll be fun while it lasts. For serious bucks, you can have one gram of ashes sent to the Moon's surface or launched into deep space.
4
Diamonds
One way to shine after your death is to become a diamond. LifeGem takes the carbon from cremated remains and turns them into an actual, certified, virtually flawless diamond with a yellow hue. Most people can be transformed into more than 50 one-carat stones. Not too many people will be turned into that much ice, though, since a 0.99-carat human-diamond costs $13,999 (for more than one, the cost is knocked down to $13,199 each).
5
Painting
The artists at Eternally Yours Everlasting Memorial Art will paint a canvas, sprinkle two to six tablespoons of cremains on it, then apply sealant. For abstract paintings, the colors will match the deceased's personality, or you can supply a photo to be turned into a painting.
6
Frisbee
Frisbee pioneer Ed Headrick asked that his ashes be molded into flying discs given to family and friends at his funeral.
7
Wild urns
All right, you want to be cremated, but you don't want your ashes shot into space, scattered all over the world, or tossed around in a park. Just because you're going to have them placed in an urn doesn't mean you have to be boring. Kelco Supply makes some wild receptacles that attain the level of sculpture: a twin set of urns that looks like stylized swans nuzzling each other, an eagle soaring across mountain cliffs, a man and woman cuddling on a bench, a book, a mantle clock, a pyramid, a golf bag, a duck decoy, cowboy boots, a teddy bear, a black lacquer egg with a Japanese landscape painted in gold leaf, a gray pseudo-granite box with a pink triangle…the choices are many. Materials used for these groovy containers include zebrawood, ebony, alabaster, onyx, ceramics, handblown glass, and polished pewter.
8
Ecopods
Let's say you don't feel like getting cremated. What is there in the way of alternative, ecofriendly coffins? AKRA's Ecopod is a streamlined casket based on the shape of a seed pod and constructed entirely of recycled paper that's been hardened using natural processes. These beauties come in green, red, blue, ivory, and goldleaf, and all but the latter can be silkscreened with doves, a Celtic cross, or an Aztec Sun. If you like the idea but still want to be cremated, the company's Acorn Urn—which looks just the way it sounds—is a snazzy holder for ashes also made out of hardened, recycled paper.
9
Other unorthodox bone boxes
People have been laid to rest in coffins made out of cardboard, willow, and wicker (demand for the latter tripled in the UK after 1960s pop idol Adam Faith was buried in one in 2003).
10
Natural burials
Why use a coffin at all? Britain is home to a growing movement in which the corpse is simply wrapped in a shroud and buried in a wooded area, in order to decay naturally. The UK is home to around 180 areas designated as woodland or green burial grounds, where people can also be buried au naturel or in coffins made of biodegradable materials.
11
Mummification
Started by a Mormon who has since been excommunicated, the religious organization Summum will mummify your body and encase it in a custom-made sarcophagus of bronze or stainless steel. The process—which takes at least three months—supposedly combines the best of the old and new to create a modern form of mummification that preserves the entire body—skin, organs, DNA, and all. Summum's founder, Corky Ra, guarantees that your body will never decompose, that you eternally will look like you did on your dying day.
As of July 2003, 1,400 people had reportedly signed up for the pharaoh treatment, although none has yet died, which means that the process hasn't been tried on a human. It has been done to animals, specifically “more than 200 dogs, cats, parrots, cockatiels, a pet rat and a finch,” according to the LA Times. The going rate for a human mummification is $67,000, plus tens of thousands to over a hundred grand for the burial casket. Animal rates start at $4,000 for a small pet, plus $2,000 to $100,000+ for the Mummiform sarcophagus.
12
Sweet rides
No matter what you decide to do with your earthly remains, if you're going to be the guest of honor at a funeral, you want to arrive in style. Instead of a humdrum hearse, try something different: a motorcycle with a hearse sidecar or a horse-drawn carriage. If you're lucky enough to croak in Australia, have the Classic and Vintage Funeral Coaches company fix you up with hearses made from a 1927 Buick, 1935 Dodge, 1946 Mercury, 1973 Cadillac de Ville, or other classic autos. 