Toddler Foods
It is happy talent to know how to play.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
Laughter aids digestion, fosters fellowship, and feeds the soul.
— Peggy Jenkins, Ph.D., The Joyful Child
CONTINUED BREASTFEEDINGPlease Mommy, can I nurse again? ’Cuz I’m really nursty.
— Quinn, age 2 ½
The wisdom that forms a tiny fetus and that leads a baby to first suckle the breast, continues to guide our children as they develop, learn, and grow. This wisdom can be witnessed with each developmental milestone, weaning being no exception. As solid foods become a part of baby’s diet, his desire to nurse will naturally decrease. To their mother’s surprise, some babies will even initiate full days of a “nursing strike” or weaning as early as 12 months in age. As our babies grow and find that their ability to meet their own needs is also growing, they naturally begin to explore their independence from us. They begin to feed themselves, walk, communicate through words, use the potty, and dress themselves. As children develop these new ways of meeting their needs, the old ways that served them as infants are naturally set aside.
Following a child’s initiation to wean is often referred to as “natural weaning.” But what if one’s baby eats a variety of solids, walks, and speaks, yet still does not show interest in weaning? What if a child now has independence from diapers and is even attempting to dress herself, yet she still desires her mother’s breast? Has something gone awry with her natural instincts or worse yet with the mother’s parenting?
I was shopping with my infant daughter when a woman working in the store initiated conversation about breastfeeding. “How long do you plan to nurse?” she inquired. Not having given it much thought yet I answered, “I don’t know, I guess when her teeth come in, and she’s able to chew solid food.” Nodding in approval, she offered her opinion, “I’ve always thought it was very strange when women continue to nurse their babies even when they’re older.” Glancing down at my daughter I assured the woman that, “Between the two of us I’m sure we’ll figure out the timing that is right for us.” As I continued to thumb through a clothing rack, a second woman leaned in and said to me, “I nursed my son until he was 29 months, and there is nothing wrong with it!”
A year later, I sat in a café discretely nursing my daughter while chatting with two other mothers. One mother, whose children were grown, commented that her granddaughter had weaned at 12 months and asked when my daughter would be weaning. Just after I’d given my now rehearsed “when she has all of her teeth” answer, the second mother told us that her son had nursed until he was age three. “Three years?!” said the grandmother aghast. “Every mother has to make her own decision,” she continued, “but I just think that’s unacceptable!”
In a country where only 14% of our babies are breastfed for one full year (as recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics), breastfeeding toddlers just isn’t socially accepted. “Despite the overwhelming positive memories of children who breastfed long enough to remember nursing,” comments Jennifer Margulis, Ph.D., a mother of two nurslings (Mothering magazine, Nov./Dec. 2002), “American culture has a clear and categorical bias against nursing older children. ‘If they’re old enough to ask for it, they’re too old to be nursing’ is the oft-repeated adage. It’s as if Americans fear that if a child is cognizant—able to speak and remember—there’s something inappropriate even obscene about nursing.”
This collective voice of fear-based bias is so often parroted by the people of our lives: friends, family members, physicians, and even strangers. The anti-breastfeeding sentiment around us can be so all-encompassing that it becomes very difficult for us to follow even our own maternal feelings on the issue. I have heard the painful regrets of mothers who felt pressured into weaning their children before they themselves would have otherwise chosen to do so.
In my own experience, I have found the anti-breastfeeding bias to be so subtle at times that it was difficult to detect and therefore to separate from my own voice. Like many breastfeeding women in this country, I entered the nursing relationship thinking in terms of a maximum one-year commitment. I never questioned this assumption until I realized that Quinn would still be getting her teeth at age two. I didn’t face my own resistant feeling towards extended nursing until I took into account that America’s one-year weaning standard has never been based on what our children’s biological requirement for breast milk might even be! Instead this standard has followed the age at which it’s believed that most babies can then tolerate the addition of cow milk into their diets. Considering the vast difference between cow milk and human milk (not to mention the differences between calves and human offspring), as well as the problems that pasteurized dairy has now been found to cause within our bodies, I knew that replacing my own milk with the altered milk of another species made very little sense to me.
These insights then raised a pivotal question for me, which has remained unaddressed by mainstream nutrition. What might my daughter’s body be calling for, when it comes to the timing of her weaning? Might her continued nursing indicate the following of her biological rhythm—the beat of a drum perhaps very different from our modern-day customs? For me and others with these queries, the research of anthropologists and primatologists offers some interesting possibilities. “Extended nursing is actually the norm among primates,” says Margulis (in the prior-mentioned article). “World-renowned primatologist Frans de Waal,” she continues, “has observed that tandem nursing is common in bonobos, who nurse their young until they are approximately four years old.” Her article then directs us to the work of Katherine A. Dettwyler, adjunct professor of anthropology and nutrition at Texas A&M University, researching both nonhuman primates and the infant nursing practices across a variety of cultures. “Dettwyler writes that nursing a four-year-old, or even a six-year-old is both ‘normal and natural for humans’ and argues that the ‘predictions, based on the non-human primate patterns, range between 2.5 and 7.0 years of age.’ ”
A third resource Margulis offers is Meredith Small, cultural anthropologist at Cornell University. In her book Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent, Small refers to human cultures that practice extended breastfeeding and writes, “In all cases, this hominid blueprint of the way babies were fed for 99 percent of human history indicates breast milk as the primary or sole food until two years of age or so, and nursing commonly continuing for several more years. Analysis of the remains of American Indian bones shows definitive evidence that infants were breastfed exclusively for the first year of life and then gradually weaned when they were five years old.”
When we look at this greater picture of humanity’s historical roots, our present-day weaning patterns across the globe, and even of our other primate relatives, we see that the current industrialized lifestyle has turned the tables considerably. What we now refer to as “extended” nursing has actually always been the standard, and the modern trend toward early weaning is not in fact the only appropriate way of doing things but is, in all honesty, a cultural anomaly.
This was good news for my daughter and me. I began to realize that the anxiety I was experiencing around the continued nursing of my toddler was due solely to societal pressures. When I saw the larger picture, I was able to unload a fretful bias, to honor my little one’s body-wisdom, and to find a resting place in my own maternal intuition. No longer bogged down by worry, I can now simply enjoy the richness of our bond together and trust in her and in myself to indeed work out our very own perfect timing.
FEEDING TODDLERS:Just like when they were infants, our little toddlers have unique feeding needs of their own. Unlike when they were doubling their body weight in a matter of weeks, however, food may become less of a priority. Not only has their growth rate slowed down (and therefore their requirements of food) but many toddlers, busy at play, simply don’t want to sit still long enough to eat an entire meal.
Your baby may have a bit more to say now about what she thinks is “yummy” or “yucky.” At one to two years old she is just beginning to discover her own autonomy, and what enters her mouth is one of the few things over which she has some control. At an age that is said to thrive on having structure, some toddlers may request to eat the same foods everyday, as a way of creating a routine that is comforting to them. Younger palates are more sensitive than ours as well, so it takes a while longer to get used to new tastes and textures.
Seeking to honor our little ones’ independent choices while at the same time ensuring their nutritional needs are met can be a bit of a dance. Here are some helpful hints for low-stress toddler feeding:
1. Have food available for snacking throughout the day. This is not only accommodating to toddlers on the go. Two-year-old tummies fill up quickly; they need to eat smaller amounts more frequently in order to get all the nutrition they need.
2. Start out with small portions (one-and-a-half to two tablespoons per food item). Unlike adults who often overestimate the amount of food needed, young children are often a better judge of how much is enough. Offering tiny tastes can make new food less intimidating as well. At seventeen months, our Quinn wouldn’t try a new food if it resembled something that she had previously tried and hadn’t cared for. If I thought that she might really like it, I’d just dab a little on her lip so she wouldn’t miss out on a new yummy flavor. She would probe it with her tongue and usually welcome more.
3. Respect your child’s right to preference of food, even if you can’t always accommodate it. Not always being able to give your child what he wants is inevitable, but showing disapproval of his personal likes or dislikes can be shaming and can create negative associations around certain foods (foods that he may otherwise decide that he likes at some point in the future). Like big people, little ones are more receptive of trying new things when they feel their own perspective is valued.
4. Continue to offer new foods at family meals, but also have something on the table that you know they will eat. Let her know that she is always welcome to try anything set on the table. One day she may just surprise you! It’s important that young children have a positive experience with food and sharing in communal meals.
5. Speak positively about your child’s eating habits. What we say about our children they believe (and act out). Children often get labeled as “finicky” or “picky” eaters, but as Lisa Tracy points out in the book Kid Food, “You risk programming yourselves and your children for more rejection in this way.… View the fussiness as an event rather than as an ongoing problem and things will go better,” she advises. “Instead of verbally confirming that your son does not like peas, simply say ‘Oh, no peas tonight. Another time.’ ”
6. Role play together about trying new foods. Switching roles is generally good for a giggle. Pretend that you (or a puppet/doll) are the one that’s apprehensive of new foods. Make silly sounds and expressions when a plate is offered to you, then eventually relent and try a nibble. Tastes can be met with an “mmmm … that’s good” and others with “no thank you.”
7. Spend time together growing and preparing your food! Age two is just old enough to watch sprouts grow or practice stirring together ingredients in a bowl. Whatever garden or kitchen activities you can do together will pique your toddler’s interest in new foods.
8. Children are more receptive to trying new things when they aren’t feeling any pressure to do so. Sometimes just the feeling of being watched is enough to make a young child shy away from taking that first courageous bite. One mother told me the following story about her little girl who at the time wouldn’t eat anything green (not even green colored Jell-O, but she would eat the other colors). The family was at a restaurant together and the mother wanted her daughter to try a new food. “Eeeeeeew,” the little girl squealed and wouldn’t take one bite. When the mother returned, however, she was met with her daughter’s clean plate and a request for more.
9. Continued breastfeeding is an excellent way to help meet our toddler’s needs. As a nursing baby grows older, the nutrients of his mother’s milk become more highly concentrated. This way baby still receives high nutrition as the frequency of nursing decreases. Those one or two sleepy breastfeedings at nap and bedtime help make up for what may have been missing from the day’s food intake. For the toddler who is still getting in teeth and cannot yet fully chew a variety of solids, this is of particular importance.
FATFat is an essential dietary component for babies and toddlers. Breast milk, which is an abundant source of health-promoting fat, naturally meets this need. More and more, it is being recommended that cooked oils (and animal fats) be avoided. Unlike these processed fats, however, which are transformed by high temperatures, the fats of raw foods show no harmful effects on the arteries or the heart!
Here are some raw and fabulous sources of necessary fat: soaked nuts and seeds—these can be blended into milks, pates, dips, whips, smoothies, etc.; nut/seed butters—such as almond, pumpkin seed, macadamia, sunflower, and tahini; fatty “fruits”—avocados and olives (sun-dried/cured olives can be soaked to cut down on the added salt content); and cold-pressed oils—such as olive, hempseed, flaxseed or coconut.
Some families also include the occasional use of organic, raw, goat milk in their living-foods diet. In Sunfood Success Diet, David Wolfe suggests this calcium source for the young child who is not yet eating a diet rich in fresh leafy greens.
SNEAKY GREENSAs a toddling baby begins to nurse less and to gain more nutrition from solids, getting a variety of greens in her diet becomes more essential. In a plant-based diet leafy greens are the major source of calcium and iron. Greens also help to maintain healthy blood-sugar levels as well as a proper pH balance within the body. Grown-up salads, however, can be unappealing or difficult for a young toddler to chew. Here are some recipe ideas with which we’ve had success (see “Recipes for Children” section for the “Kids’ Salad”).
Yields 2 servings.
2 generous teaspoons almond or pumpkinseed butter (or desired amount)
2 lettuce leaves
1 banana
Spread nut/seed butter onto each of the lettuce leaves. Cut the banana in half and place it in the center of the buttered leaf. Swaddle the banana in the leafy “blanket” and serve. If the lettuce leaves are small, cut the banana into thirds before wrapping.
Variation: Sprinkle in some soaked sunflower seeds.
Yields 1 adult and 1 child-sized serving.
1 frozen banana, cut into chunks
1 cup fresh pineapple
½ cup fresh pineapple juice (or water)
1 ounce fresh wheat grass juice
Sprig of fresh mint
Combine all ingredients together in a blender and blend until smooth (add more juice/water to thin).
Substitution: If fresh organic pineapple is not available, dried pineapple makes a fine substitution. Soak the pineapple overnight and use both the fruit and the soak water.
Yields 1 adult and 1 child-sized serving.
3 apples
1 medium-sized cucumber
2–3 leaves swiss chard or spinach
Small lemon wedge (peeled)
Juice all ingredients. Stir and serve “as is” or freeze into juicicles.
½ cup ripe papaya
2 teaspoons fresh wheat grass juice
Cut the fresh papaya length-wise and scoop out the seeds. Discard the seeds or save for use in grown-up salads. (Papaya seeds are radishlike in flavor.) Next, scoop out enough papaya to fill ½ cup. Mash it with a fork then mix in wheat grass juice, or for a smoother blend, puree both ingredients together in a blender adding small amounts of water if necessary.
Variation: Add ½ teaspoon dehydrated barley green.
Grow edible houseplants! Sunflower and buckwheat seeds both need soil to grow green sprouts. I like to have decorative pots bulging with green sprouts in sunny spots in the house. Down within a toddler’s reach, they can sneak a little whenever they want. (Big floor pots help to avoid over-tipped plants.) My neighbor says that her daughter started eating sprouts because of my tot-pots, and that I must include them in this book!
If bread plays a favored role in your family diet, try packing it full of fresh veggies.
This is our daughter’s favorite way to devour a wide variety of leafy greens.
Whole grain tortilla, pita, or sprouted bread, warmed or toasted
Vegan mayo, hummus, avocado, or dressing of choice
Fresh veggie medley of choice: cucumber, lettuce, baby asparagus spears, kale, swiss chard, spinach, bok choy, beet greens, minced broccoli, broccoli greens, ripe bell pepper strips (red, yellow, or orange), sprouts (alfalfa, mung bean, lentil, sunflower green, or buckwheat lettuce) grated carrot, grated zucchini, or pitted olives.
Top the bread with your dressing of choice and then fill your sandwich or wrap full of different vegetables; the larger the variety of colors, the better.
As with miso, soy yogurt is not a raw food. However, it does contain living cultures beneficial for digestion. (Nancy’s Organic brand has a vegan version that is free of sugar-cane sweeteners.)
2 cups yogurt-style cultured soy
1 banana, mashed
2–4 teaspoons raw agave nectar or sweetener of choice
2 teaspoons spirulina powder (add more if desired)
14 mini-Popsicle sticks (available in craft supplies stores)
In a small to medium-sized bowl, mix all the ingredients together using a spoon or fork. Next, spoon the mixture into an ice-cube tray and insert Popsicle sticks. (A child as young as age two can help to stir, spoon, and stick!) Freeze until solid, and then transfer the pops to a freezer bag for freshness.
Variation: To make a simpler spirulina-swirl pop, omit the banana when mixing together the cultured soy, sweetener, and spirulina. Fold in an additional cup of cultured soy, creating a swirled effect. Stick and freeze.
