Chapter Six

She was no longer the one leading the kiss. His mouth moved over hers like a gentle storm, causing pent-up longing to pelt at her like hundreds of rain drops. She stepped out from behind the emotional barricade she had in place and let him in. Her senses came alive, threatening to drown her in a rush of sensation.

Kissing him made her think of holding hands at sunset, the smell of a summer rain, the promise of a new morning, and everything that she thought was beautiful all wrapped into one. It was something she’d craved and had never found. Until now. With the wrong man. The not-forever guy.

This kiss was the best worst idea in the whole world.

Her body was leading her brain, running away with her sensible self, and even as her brain sounded the alarm, her body silenced it.

Harper raised her arms, linking them around his neck, bringing him closer. Desire licked through her body, intensifying her want, her need, heating her from the inside out. Her skin was on fire, and she wanted him to quench the thirst.

He lifted his head to move his attention to the side of her neck. She arched her head back, and a moan escaped her lips as he tasted her skin. His lips branded her. His.

She was lost. Swirling down further into a need so powerful, she couldn’t shake the grip of it. Didn’t care. She wanted him. And he’d walk away tomorrow. Leaving her alone.

Alone. Just like my mother. Looking out a window, watching, waiting for a man who’d never return.

And Rafferty was just like that. Shaken that she’d thrown caution to the wind so easily, she pulled away from him, breathing fast, unable to believe she’d lost herself so completely with one kiss.

If they continued down the course they were on, the heights would be fantastic, but the fall afterward could break her. What was I thinking?

She had to be rational about this. Call it what it was. “That was awful.”

“Awful?”

Pushing her hair back, she clarified, “An awful mistake.”

“It was just a kiss, Harper. Nothing more.”

“Right,” she said, embarrassed. “Why don’t we forget the game?” She ran her fingers through her mussed hair to busy her hands.

“Fine with me.” Rafferty settled on the blanket opposite her again. “Mind if I ask you something personal?”

“Go ahead.” She forced herself to look directly into his eyes. If she was creating a don’t-do list for herself, the first one would be don’t stare at the lips of this man and wish for a second kiss. Because doing so could lead to breaking a whole lot more don’ts she had in place for her life.

“You’d never talk about it, and I’ve heard a few rumors over the years, but what really happened with your father?”

Harper hesitated, toying with the strap of her shoe as she went back to the evening she’d learned her father had died. “He went parasailing, and a storm rolled in. The winds whipped up, and the tow line broke.” She looked up. “He was always chasing something wild or risky. The adrenaline high meant more than his family, and he told Mom the day he left us that he couldn’t be tied down and trapped in a life that wasn’t for him. I’ll never do what my mother did.”

“What’s that?”

“Choose a man who has one eye on the horizon, always wondering what else is out there. I want a man who’ll stick around, not one who’ll—”

“Abandon you.”

“Exactly.” She hugged her arms around herself. Growing up as the daughter of a man who thought nothing of throwing away his family had been hard. She refused to get involved with a man who might create the same legacy for her someday children. Wanting roots, a family, a home where love overflowed, and a man who’d always be there for her wasn’t wrong, and she wasn’t giving up on hoping for that for her future.

“A man can like an adrenaline challenge and yet not abandon a family.”

“Unless chasing thrills gets him killed,” Harper said. Then, not wanting to dig any deeper into past wounds, she added, “You’d think someone would miss us by now.”

Rafferty shrugged. “My brothers are kind of bone-headed. Takes them a while to clue in.”

Harper had always envied the easy relationship he had with them. “What was it really like growing up with a big family? As an only child, I always longed for a sibling.”

“You can have one of mine.”

She laughed. “Seriously.”

“It was fun. There was always someone to horse around with, argue with, or blame for something you did, but whatever came, I knew that if I ever got into trouble—which I know won’t surprise you I did an awful lot—there was always someone who had my back.”

“I saw you one year at the Fourth of July fireworks celebration. You punched Sebastian Carson after he smacked Casey.”

“Yeah.” A muscle worked in Rafferty’s jaw. “The idiot had a temper, and Casey called him out on it after he’d shoved his girlfriend. No guy hits girls on my watch but especially not my sister.”

Harper remembered watching the fight between Rafferty and Sebastian’s friends. Four on one against Rafferty until his brothers jumped in and it was all over. Sebastian was lucky to walk away with just the black eyes he’d received. “I would have liked to have a brother looking out for me,” she said.

“They’re handy, but they can be a pain. They like to butt into my business, though I have to say Mom and Grandma are worse than all of them put together.”

Harper found it difficult to look away as he talked. Thanks to that knock-her-out-of-her-shoes kiss, it felt like a turning point in their relationship. Add what he’d told her about Jill, and it helped her understand him even better than she had when they’d been friends. She wished he would have told her back then what he’d dealt with. They might not have lost each other.

Forcing her attention elsewhere, she glanced up at the window. She loved the night but not in combination with being locked in somewhere. Wishing there was something she could do to get out of here, she looked back toward the door, debating with herself whether there was anything else she could try or not.

As if he could read her mind, Rafferty switched sides of the blanket until he was seated on the same side as her. “I’m here,” he said quietly.

Harper tensed. She could handle anything, even being locked in, because she had to handle it. Better to always stand on her own two feet than lean over and discover no one was there to catch her fall.

“It’s getting cooler. Let me keep you warm.” He patted the spot beside him. “I’m not going to bite.”

“I’m plenty warm, thanks.” If she sat closer, she’d think about that kiss, and if she thought about that kiss, she’d think about—

“Why don’t you come over for Sunday dinner?” Rafferty suggested.

“You’re just trying to distract me from thinking about being locked in.”

“True, but I’m also asking because you’d enjoy a front-row seat to the zoo. With Mom subtly trying to marry me off and Grandma not so subtly, it’s like herding feral cats. As soon as I let my guard down and think I’ve avoided the claws with one, the other makes a run at me.”

The image he painted made Harper smile. “You’re lucky to have them. They only want to make sure you’re happy and don’t end up a lonely old man.”

Rafferty snorted. “They’re after future grandkids and great-grandkids. My happiness doesn’t factor into it.”

“I’ll think about coming for dinner.” She yawned and covered her mouth. “Sorry. I didn’t sleep well last night.”

Rafferty patted the blanket beside him again. “Stretch out and try to sleep.”

Harper looked at it, debating how hard the floor would be.

He followed the direction of her gaze. “Use these as a pillow.” He folded a couple of other blankets and put them near her.

“No, you can have them.” Harper rubbed her arms, not liking the idea of letting her guard down enough to sleep in the locked room. “I think I’ll sit up for a while.”

“Look at me,” Rafferty ordered, and when she did, he said, “I get it, okay? But you can lie down and rest. I will keep you safe.”

“I’m not… I don’t need—”

“Yes, you do, but it’s okay that you can’t admit you need someone other than yourself.”

Harper looked longingly at the folded blankets. She shouldn’t rely on him, but she was so tired. She went back and forth with herself for a few minutes, but finally, exhaustion won, and she stretched out. Rafferty sat beside her, his back against the wall. She lay there, rigid, unable to relax. Rafferty took her hand, gave it a gentle squeeze, and after hesitating for a minute, she closed her fingers around his and drifted to sleep.

…

In the middle of the night, Rafferty glanced down at a sleeping Harper and tried to sort out his thoughts about the woman who’d always been such a puzzle.

He felt out of sorts. She confused him. He wanted to protect her, and he also knew for certain he wanted to sleep with her. He wasn’t going to lie to himself about that, but he wouldn’t stoke that fire.

The kiss rattled him. He’d kissed dozens of women, knowing the entire time that he could walk away unscathed because it was just physical.

Kissing Harper was different, and he didn’t like it because it had challenged his iron-clad belief that there were two guarantees in life: one, the sun would rise, and two, he would always leave.

Harper stirred and shifted, murmuring in her sleep, and he smiled. Tough girl on the outside but tender heart on the inside.

She scooted closer to lay her head on his thigh.

Rafferty choked off a groan and raised his eyes toward the ceiling. He wasn’t made of steel. He tried to hang in there but, after a second or two, knew it wasn’t possible. Carefully sliding his hands beneath her head, he guided her back to the blankets and breathed a sigh of relief when she wrapped her hands around them and snuggled deeper into sleep.

Hours later, when the sky finally began to lighten, Harper snapped awake, sitting up abruptly and looking groggily around. “I can’t believe I slept so soundly,” she said as if it were a question.

“You needed the rest.” He couldn’t prevent a yawn as he checked his watch. Six o’clock. “What time will someone be in this part of the castle?”

“Ivy usually comes in first to check a supply list, so she’ll be in around seven.” She lay back down and pushed the blankets toward him. “Your turn to sleep.”

“Nah. I’ll crash at the house after I leave here.”

She chewed her lower lip. “If you need to, we can postpone the show, so you won’t have to be here for rehearsal tonight. You can get some extra rest that way.”

“I’m good, Harper. I know my limits.” He looked down at her, liking the way her hair was sleep-tousled. It was sexy as hell and made her look less guarded. “If you postpone the show, it’ll put the castle further into the hole, right?”

“Right.”

“Then I’ll be here.”

She toyed with the end of her hair. “I feel guilty accepting your help.”

“Don’t. It’s not a big deal, and I am getting paid for it.” He didn’t tell her he’d taken the job just to prove a commitment with the guys at the station and help get the promotion, and for a second, he thought maybe he should. Then he dismissed it. Now wasn’t the time to come clean. He didn’t want to ruin the newfound peace between them.

“About that kiss.” She paused, as if searching for the right words.

“It didn’t mean anything,” he said, because he was guessing that was her thought, plus he wanted to keep her from getting any ideas that it did. The last thing he wanted was Harper picturing him behind her white picket fence.

“I know that.” Her brows drew together, and she sat up again, hugging her arms around her knees, staying that way while the silence lengthened between them.

He let out an exasperated sigh. “Go ahead and speak your mind. I can tell you have something to say.”

“I think it’s wrong for you to act like you don’t want anything to do with love.”

“It’s not an act.” Remembered pain shot through Rafferty’s heart. “I know as sure as I’m sitting here, as sure as I know that you and I will never be more than coworkers in a show, that love is not in my future. Don’t imagine more just because of one great kiss.” He hoped that would nip any what ifs in the bud and allow them to still head back to friendship.

Her mouth dropped open, then she let out a frustrated groan. “I wasn’t talking about you falling in love with me. Do you honestly think I’d let you kiss me once and decide that you were the one?”

“Let me kiss you? You kissed me.”

She put her hands on her hips. “Because you dared me to.”

“You followed through because you wanted to.”

“No,” she corrected, holding up a finger. “I kissed you because I didn’t want to lose any money.” Her expression changed, softening slightly. “I know now that you’ve been through a lot and you don’t want permanence because of it. But a woman needs a man who’ll walk through life as a partner in all the messes, mistakes, joys, and sorrows. She needs real, and she needs lasting. If you start every relationship with a foot already out the door, you never get to the good parts.”

Rafferty recalled the feel of her mouth beneath his, and when she looked at him, he knew she did, too, by the way her eyes darkened, by the way she did that funny little breath-catching noise. “You want to know what I think?” he asked.

“What?”

“I think you’re not really in a position to throw stones.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Meaning?”

“You’re afraid to take chances with anything because of what happened with your father and, from the rumors I’ve heard, with your ex.”

“I do take chances.”

“Name one.”

“I didn’t get much sleep last night so give me a second…” She pushed at her hair. Shot him a look. Drummed her fingers on the floor beside her.

“I knew it. You’ve got nothing,” he said.

“No…wait… Kissing you. That was a chance. For me to kiss a man I know isn’t my type, even on a dare, that’s a risk,” she said triumphantly. “Especially since I prefer someone less wild.”

“You mean you want safety, not fireworks.”

“No.” She shook her head. “One doesn’t exclude the other. I’m explaining why I could never think of you as anything permanent in my life. Which is why you were right to say the kiss meant nothing, and I agreed. Let’s both forget it.”

Forget the kiss. “Fine with me. Kiss forgotten.” He was going to do exactly that. “You’re not my type.”

“I know. I’m smart, strong, and even if I don’t have Rafferty Bradford, I will still somehow find the will to continue living,” she teased.

“It only feels like living.”

The tension in the room dissipated the longer she stared at him, arms crossed, one brow quirked. “Why on earth your mother and Jean keep pushing us together, I’ll never know.”

“Agreed. You drive me crazy.”

“Ditto.” She grinned. “Friends it is, then?”

An emotional boulder rolled from Rafferty’s shoulders. “Friends. It’s good to have you back.”

“You, too. I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” he admitted.

“I hear something.” Harper scrambled to stand. “I think someone’s coming.” She glanced at him. “I’m not thrilled with having been locked in here, but I’m glad we got the chance to talk and be friends again.”

“Me, too,” he said, mentally planning when he could tell her the real reason he wanted the part. After the first show, he decided. That way, the tenuous rebirth of their friendship would have a chance to survive first.