––––––––
Joni Mitchell’s voice crooned from the television as she and Riley crammed onto the couch, foot to foot, sharing the comforter from her bed while watching her favorite movie of all time, Love Actually.
Her heart pinched as the scene unfolded in a memorable display of treachery and neglect. Hearing a sniffle from the other side of the couch, she glanced at Riley. “Are you okay?”
“She’s just so stoic. How does she do it, knowing he bought the necklace for the other woman while she’s home breaking her ass trying to raise his family?”
She wiped her eyes. “I know. It’s a great movie.”
The scene cut to Liam Neeson’s character. “Oh,” Riley groaned. “And then there’s these two. This boy’s ripping out my heart. Why did you make me watch this? I’m delicate!”
“Wait. It gets better,” she promised.
Since embarrassing herself in front of a bar full of people, she decided to spend the last of her vacation doing things she truly enjoyed. Riley was sucked into her plan of absolute laziness sometime mid-Wednesday during the second Bridget Jones movie.
Turned out, he had a soft spot for romantic comedies, so it was only right for her to introduce him to all her favorites. After this they were watching The Princess Bride.
As the movie played her mind wandered. This was not where she expected to be. Her calendar was crammed with appointments she wouldn’t keep, consultations, tastings, dance classes and more. She’d been so consumed with planning a wedding, she’d forgotten who she was before she got engaged. The real her was in there somewhere, but lost.
“Do you believe in God, Riley?”
She hadn’t expected him to answer anymore than she expected to ask the question out loud. He was so engrossed in the movie, but it was a quiet scene so he did. “Sometimes, but I think I’m wrong. My God’s a cross between St. Nick, Jesus, and Zeus from the Disney version of Hercules, but not as tan.”
This made her smile. “You believe in a Santa God?”
He chuckled. “Yeah, sort of. I imagine him sitting on a throne like the Abe Lincoln monument, but holding a trident and surrounded by clouds. But I know that’s not what it’s really like. It’s just what I imagine when someone says God.”
She grinned, finding his version of Deity charming. “Do you think God has a plan for us, like everything happens for a reason?”
“I don’t know, Em. If he does and you find the cheat sheet he’s only going to change it to smite you.”
She also wasn’t sure the real God smote people. Maybe God wept with them and steered them toward something better, but if they made too much noise or moved too fast they’d miss the purpose of the struggle. “I think God’s a woman.”
He was quiet for a long while. “You’re probably right.”
She decided there was a bigger reason Becket was removed from her life. She just didn’t know what it was or if she’d ever find out.
After the movie was over and they had themselves a nice cry—which Riley swore was allergies—he insisted she watch some stupid online clip about screaming goats.
“I can’t believe I agreed to this.”
Riley jumped onto the couch like an excited tween and opened his laptop. “I dare you not to laugh. As a matter of fact, I bet you crack up.”
“At a goat? Puh-lease. Put your money on the table. I will take that bet as fast as I’ll take your money.” She straightened her shoulders and focused, not caring that it was four in the afternoon and she was still in her pajamas.
“Fine. How much? Keep in mind, if you lose, which you will, I’m taking your money. Don’t expect sympathy.”
“Twenty bucks.”
He reached in his pocket and pulled out two tens. “Where’s yours?”
“I’m good for it.”
“Nope. Get it, because when I take your money I’m ordering food with it. None of this IOU garbage.”
“Fine.” She went to her purse and dug out a twenty. Slapping it on the coffee table, she returned to the couch and crossed her legs. “This is going to be the easiest money I’ve ever made.”
“You aren’t kidding,” he snickered. Once the clip was cued he hit play.
Oh dear God. She hadn’t expected goats to look like that. She saw goats before, but never ones that looked so ridiculous. These were not the ones Mother Goose talked about. The poor creature had drooping ears that curled at the end like Pippi Longstocking’s braids and lips that looked like they’d been sucked into a vacuum for days.
The first threat to her composure came as one goat mumbled in what honestly sounded like a human voice. That wasn’t how goats sounded, was it?
Biting her lips to keep them sealed, she stared as the camera cut to a different breed. Oh the horror! The teeth and the floppy tongue, it was just too silly to watch with a straight face. Someone operating the camera started to giggle and contagious mirth slid into the slippery pit of her stomach where laughter was born.
She silenced each tiny burst of snickers, refusing to let him win, but the longer the clip played the harder it became. Her eyes started to water as thick laughter clogged her throat.
No! You are taking his money. Don’t you dare laugh!
And then it happened. A goat, with bug eyes and a long messy beard, looked right at the camera, parted its bucked teeth, and screamed. She was done.
“Yes!” Riley shouted, leaping off the couch and snatching the money. “I knew you wouldn’t make it.”
As he danced around kissing her twenty-dollar bill, she collapsed on the couch, holding her stomach in a fit of laughter. One goat after another screamed into the camera. They weren’t in pain. Apparently, these were the sounds goats naturally made. How had she never known they could baa like that?
Their screams grew more ridiculous and her laughter turned into pure hysteria. Tears, she was in tears! A cramp formed in her side and she moaned, but couldn’t stop laughing. For two solid minutes she struggled to breathe as this absurd compilation of goat shrieking went on.
And then, there was a new sound.
Riley froze. “Oh. My. God.”
She stilled, eyes wide, not a single breath moving through her lungs, her laughter completely gone. That did not just happen. The clip stopped and the room silenced.
“I can’t believe you just did that,” he whispered, face set in stunned amusement.
Her skin heated to a scorching burn. If he were anything close to a gentleman he’d pretend nothing happened. She waited for him to change the subject, give her a mulligan. Friends did stuff like that.
His head fell back as laughter erupted from his chest and he pointed. “You farted!”
“Shut up! It was an accident! Those stupid goats made me laugh and it just slipped out!”
He collapsed onto the chair and held his stomach. “You should totally give me another twenty for that. Not only did you laugh, you released the Kraken!”
That was it. She stood, grabbed her cup of water and dumped it on his crotch.
“Hey!” He continued to laugh.
“You, Mr. Lockhart, are no gentleman.” She stomped to her room where she slammed the door.
“Oh, come on, Emma! Don’t be mad. Friends don’t let friends fart and walk away angry!”
“I hate you!” she shouted, but laughed silently.
Eventually she’d get over her embarrassment. She’d have to face him sooner or later, but at the moment she was hiding. Stupid goats.
****
The following morning when Emma awoke she found a surprise in the kitchen. There was a lily, like the ones that grew outside of the inn, sitting in a beer bottle on the counter. He was a pain in the neck, but he kept her smiling.
Dear Ma’gotes McHobbit Toes,
Roses are red, violets are blue,
You farted.
You can’t hide in your room forever.
Let’s have a Ferris Bueller day and go sightseeing.
Wake me up at noon.
#GoatFartsForever
-Ri
And just like that, she got over her embarrassment.
The idea of a day wasted on the sights of New York sounded awesome. She dressed in a navy blue skirt and a white tank, taking an extra few minutes to rub sunblock into her shoulders. As she tossed the lotion in her purse, her phone rang. Reading the screen she smiled.
“Hey stranger!”
“Is that you, toots? How are things?” She hadn’t realized how much she missed Rarity until hearing her voice.
“Things are wonderful. How’s the shoot?”
“The shoot’s fine. Lexi surprised me and came to the hotel last night, so that was awesome.”
“Cool.” There was definitely something to envy about Rarity and Lexi’s relationship.
Her friend laughed, but her next question was cautious. “You...you sound really great, Em. Did something happen with Becket?”
She scoffed. “No, screw him. I’ve just been enjoying my time off and hanging out. Not taking life too seriously as I try to figure out where I go from here and who I want to be.”
“Um...what?” She laughed, sounding dumbfounded. “When I left, you were a puddle of emotions fused to the couch. I thought I’d have to set it on fire to get you up. What the hell happened?”
She didn’t know how to explain her rapid transformation, because even she was surprised by her resilience.
“Well, Riley got me drunk one night, I put on my wedding gown, and gave a few undignified speeches I’m glad no one else witnessed. I puked, hit an all time low, came to terms with the fact that Becket’s scum and I’m too good for him, went to Brooklyn, almost had sex with a douchebag, watched a lot of Colin Firth movies, applied for a few jobs, and today I’m going sightseeing.”
Silence.
“Rarity?”
“Yeah. I’m just...shocked. You’ve been hanging out with Riley?”
Reservations clouded her upbeat mood. Rarity asked the question as though the idea of Emma and Riley being friends was the strangest part of everything she disclosed. It seemed more monumental to Emma that she’d come to terms with Becket leaving her.
Did her friendship with Riley make Rarity uneasy? That couldn’t be right. Rarity had two best friends, her brother and Emma, all three of them being close made convenient sense.
“We’ve only been hanging out when he’s not working. Is that not okay?”
Rarity’s laughter was hollow. “Of course it’s okay. Why wouldn’t it be? I’m glad you’re not fused to the couch. It’s all good. Anyway, I gotta run. I just wanted to call and check on you. I’ll be back Saturday, okay?”
“Okay. Miss you.”
“Miss you too, toots. Mwah.”
“Mwah.”
Emma dropped the phone in her purse and replayed the conversation in her mind. Was it so weird that she and Riley were finally getting to know each other? They’d met almost two decades ago and shared an address. It was bound to eventually happen.
The sound of Riley’s phone vibrating caught her attention. Following the soft tremble, she paused outside of his room.
“Hey, Rare.” His voice was gruff and raspy from sleep. Rarity was calling him now? Why?
“What? Wait. Slow down.” Covers rustled and Emma slowed her breathing to listen closely.
“It isn’t like that, Rarity. We’re friends. Give me a little credit. I wouldn’t treat her like that. I don’t shit where I eat.”
Emma drew back. Shit where he eats? What did that mean?
“I know she’s your best friend. I’m telling you, you have nothing to worry about.”
Emma grimaced. She didn’t need Rarity looking over her shoulder like she couldn’t take care of herself. What made her the expert on life? Rarity had never been engaged or cheated on. She didn’t know what that did to a person. And Emma just told her everything she needed to know. Why did she have to call Riley?
“Rarity, I’m not discussing this with you. I told you it’s nothing and I meant it. We’re just friends.”
He was quiet for a moment and then she heard his steps approaching the door. Abort! Panicked, she ran to the couch and jumped into the center, grabbing the book sitting on the arm. His door opened and he walked straight to the bathroom wearing only his briefs.
It wasn’t the first time she’d seen him in his underwear. When you lived with someone those sorts of things happened. But suddenly everything seemed wrong and inappropriate in an under-the-microscope sort of way. Damn Rarity for getting in her head and stirring up drama that didn’t exist five minutes ago.
The toilet flushed and Riley reappeared, pausing when he spotted her on the couch. “Oh, hey. I didn’t see you there.”
“Yup. Been here all morning. Just hanging out. Maxin’ and relaxin’.”
He frowned. “You okay?”
“Me? I’m totally fine. As a matter of fact, I’m so fine I was thinking about handling some errands I’ve been avoiding, so I don’t think I’ll be able to have a Ferris Bueller day with you after all. But thanks for the offer.”
He eyed her suspiciously. “Is this about the goat fart?”
“Oh my God, please stop calling it that. And no. I just have some errands to run.”
“Okay.” He didn’t appear overly disappointed that she wouldn’t be spending the day with him and for some reason that smarted.
“Okay then.” She grinned and tossed the book aside. Sidestepping to the door, she grabbed her purse. “I’ll see you later.”
“See ya.”
The door closed behind her and there she was, standing in the hallway with no place to go. She was pissed things got weird and they wouldn’t be sightseeing. The only errand she’d been putting off was the trip to Becket’s to get all her stuff. She didn’t need to do that. She could walk around for a few hours until Riley went to work.
Her mind was a cluster of confusion, phrases like shit where you eat and Ferris Bueller days running through her head, the sound of Rarity’s concern ringing in the background of every thought.
Emma rolled her eyes. First of all, guys like Riley never went for girls like her. They were two different species. Second, they were just friends. This was about Rarity’s insecurities, not their behavior. She’d see once she got home—everything was platonic and fine.
Good, you figured that out. Now what?
Pacing the hall, she debated facing her ex versus continued procrastination in all tasks deemed icky. Seeing Becket could derail her progress and send her back to the couch. Ugh, back to the gown.
No! She would not give him that sort of authority. She had to be tough. Maybe dealing with this was a good thing—get it over with. But maybe avoiding it and building back some added strength was wiser. Eventually she’d have to face him.
How did the saying go? It’s not the bang, but the anticipation of the boom? The anxiety and fear of facing her ex was eating at her. Maybe she should get it over with so the anxiety would be gone.
Finally, after much pouting and pacing, she texted Becket.
Hi. It’s Emma. I guess you know that. Anyway, would today be a good day to pick up my stuff? You have my good sneakers and I left my flat iron at your place, plus some clothes and DVDs. Let me know. Thanks.
Send.
Oh, God, she was going to throw up.
The door opened and Riley bent to pick up the paper—still in his underwear. “Emma? I thought you left.”
She sighed. This was stupid. She should just talk to him about what Rarity said. That way it wouldn’t be awkward and—
Her phone buzzed.
Hey, Baby. How are you? Yes, of course you can come by. You’re always welcome. Why don’t you come over now and join me for breakfast. I miss you, baby. Xo
Her heart thundered so fast her throat seemed to be vibrating. What the hell kind of reply was that?
“Em? Everything all right?”
She laughed, sort of outside of herself. Holding up her phone, she made a face of absolute bewilderment. “It’s Becket. He wants me to come over for breakfast.” Talk about mixed signals.
“What? Did you call him?”
Why was he so concerned? “I texted him, but only to ask if I could swing by and grab some of my stuff.”
“What did he say?”
“He said yes and called me baby and said I was always welcome. He said he missed me.” Did he really miss her? Did she miss him? What about Goldie? What did this mean?
“Shit.”
She looked at him in question. “Why are you upset?”
“Because it was my job to make sure you didn’t call him.”
“Your job?”
He waved a hand. “You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t. Did Rarity tell you to babysit me? Is that what this week’s been all about?”
“No.” He scoffed and she suspected he wasn’t being totally honest. “She just asked me to make sure you didn’t call Grayson. Everything else was a result of me having nothing better to do.”
His words came like a kick to the chest. She stepped back. “Wow.” This morning was really taking a turn for the worst.
“That didn’t come out right. I meant to say I was hanging out with you because I was having fun. I liked being with you this week. I wasn’t doing it for my sister. I was doing it for me. I had fun with you, Em. Please don’t get mad at me. It makes me feel all guilty and blah inside.”
Her stomach tightened uncomfortably at the anticipation of more rejection. She didn’t want to look at him.
“Emma...” His words were whispered, his expression genuine. “We’re friends.”
The pain in her chest gradually unknotted. She didn’t need people lying to her. “You really think of me as your friend?”
“Yes. You’re cool as shit. This week was one of the best weeks I’ve had in a long time. I don’t have that sort of connection with most girls, but you’re also different than my guy friends, because you don’t judge me for unwinding to some Cyndi Lauper after a long day or for biting my nails and spitting them across the room—”
“Totally gross.”
“But you don’t say anything. You don’t make me feel bad about who I am and I like that.”
She laughed. “You do love Cyndi Lauper.”
He hardened his expression and puffed out his chest. “It’s a heavy like.”
It was impossible to stay mad at him. Her frown gradually faded. “I feel like I can be myself around you too.”
“You can.” He held out his arms. “Friends?”
She walked to him and sighed as his hold closed around her, comforting and secure. “Friends.”
“Thanks, Hobbit Toes.”
She tried to knee him, but he grunted and quickly blocked the assault. “Riley?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you do me a friend favor?”
“Sure.”
“I seriously do have to get some things from Becket’s. The longer I put it off the more the idea of facing him freaks me out. Will you come with me so I don’t do anything stupid?”
“I’d never let you go alone.”
She smiled. “Thanks.”
****
When they arrived at Becket’s Manhattan high-rise, her courage abandoned her.
“Do you want me to go get your stuff?” Riley offered as she paced on the sidewalk, mumbling to herself.
“No. I want to be able to get it myself. I don’t want him to have this effect on me.”
“What effect are we talking about, exactly?”
She paced. “I don’t know. I feel crazy unbalanced right now. Like in one breath I might tell him to go to hell and in the next I might cry and beg for him to take me back.”
“Is that what you want, to get back together?”
“No!”
“Good.”
“But I also don’t want to come second choice to some girl named after a collie.”
He jumped in her path, causing her to jerk to a stop. “Hey, look at me. You are not coming second. You are putting yourself first. Screw that yuppie. Maybe you should tell him to go to hell. Why are you afraid to hurt him after he hurt you? Stop protecting him, Emma. The only person you need to protect is yourself.”
Theories about burning bridges frightened her when she thought of lashing out at Becket. Even though she knew she didn’t want him back and didn’t love him the way she should have, there was some sort of safety net in keeping things polite.
“I don’t know why I’m like this with him.”
He studied her for a moment, his eyes heavy with concern. “You know what I think? I think you’re scared. I think you’re afraid to be mean, because he might eventually want you back. Don’t be his backup plan, Emma. You’re a plan A girl. Leave the plan B slot for someone not so nice. Hold out for a guy that puts you at the top and knows that’s where you belong, a guy that never makes you question your worth.”
His insight surprised her. So did his kind words. The tension in her shoulders eased, as a bit of her nausea dissolved. However, she was still human and that meant she knew her imperfections better than anyone. Sometimes great people spent their lives alone.
She was hovering close to ordinary, miles below remarkable. “But what if that guy never comes?”
“He will. Trust me.”
Riley didn’t have the authority to throw out guarantees like that, but she appreciated him bluffing straight to her face. Maybe that’s how things got done—bluffing. The only way to get through something this uncomfortable was to push through it—stupidly fearless and full speed ahead.
She nodded. No more pussyfooting around. “Let’s do this.”
She hyperventilated for the majority of the elevator ride. Riley rubbed her back and kept quiet, never making her feel stupid for having such reactions to her ex.
When they were in front of Becket’s door she wanted to turn back. Riley gave her shoulder a slight squeeze and stepped to the other side of the door where Becket wouldn’t see him. But she saw him and that was all the support she needed.
She knocked and the door opened. Becket looked impeccable with his Armani reading glasses and pressed Polo shirt. Crisp, all the way from his strategically tousled hair to his seersucker shorts.
The breath actually seemed to knock out of her at the sight of him. Oh, the pretty babies they would have made.
“Hey, beautiful.” He grinned, arousing nostalgic sensations she’d assumed were dead.
Suddenly weak, her insides melted as his gaze softened, wreaking havoc on her ovaries. Her girlie parts were under fire.
“H—hey, Becket.” Damn the dreamy tenor of her voice. He cheated on you!
“Want to come in?”
He affected her like a delicious opiate. “Sure—”
Riley tipped his head and sent her a stern look, reminding her of his presence. Right. In and out.
Shaking off the effect Becket was having on her, she refocused. “I actually have somewhere I need to be. If you could just get my things I’d appreciate it.”
“Oh, come on, Emma. Don’t blow me off like that. I haven’t seen you in over a week. How have you been? You look great. I didn’t expect you to look so...”
Slighted, she scoffed. “Great?”
“Recovered.” He grinned, that sly lawyer charm dripping from every pampered pore.
She laughed without humor. “Well, I am. I just need my stuff back so I can keep on truckin’ or whatever the saying is.” She made some corny motion with her arm, sluggishly screwing her fist in the air, and then folded her hands behind her back before she further embarrassed herself.
If she could survive this with a shred of dignity that would be wonderful.
“Come inside,” he cajoled.
“No.”
“Please.” He excelled at the persuasive pout, which was exactly why he’d eventually make a great attorney.
Feeling played, she firmed up her defenses, letting a touch of snark into her expression. “Where’s Goldie, Becket?”
“She’s at class. Come inside.”
She stepped back as he reached for her hand. “I don’t think so.”
“It doesn’t have to be like this, Emma. Goldie’s a demanding woman. She expects certain things. She isn’t as agreeable as you. Just because the wedding’s off that doesn’t mean we still can’t be...friendly.”
Her mouth fell open. He did not just say that. “Define friendly.”
“Come in and I’ll show you. I promise you’ll enjoy it.”
He reached for her again and Riley stepped in front of her, causing Becket to take a startled pace back. “That’s enough. Fun time’s over. Emma, go wait by the elevator. Grayson, go get her stuff.”
“Who the hell are you?”
Crap. Emma peeked around Riley, who, next to Becket, suddenly seemed twice his normal size. “Becket, you remember Rarity’s brother, Riley.”
Becket eyed him from his wavy dark hair to his wrinkled white T. “Why is he here with you?”
“Why are you asking so many questions? Get her stuff. Now.” Riley snapped, frustration clear in his voice.
She wasn’t used to seeing him so short-tempered. It was impressive and unexpected.
“I really don’t think this is necessary, Emma—”
“You know what I think?” Riley cut him off. “I think you have a hearing problem. I also think your parents misled you with too much ass kissing and caused you to believe you’re a lot more important than you actually are. You know what you really are, Grayson? You’re nothing. You’re a dime a dozen, prelaw punk, who’s gonna nurse off his father’s tit as long as possible. I hope that Goldie chick really loves you, because being an asshole is eventually going to catch up and outweigh your preppy, bullshit charm. Now, I can’t help you with being an asshole, but I can work with you on the hearing problem.” He leaned forward and shouted, “Go get her fucking shit!”
Becket jumped and shut the door. Riley peeked over his shoulder and grinned. Dumbfounded, she just stared. Who was this guy?
A minute later the door opened and a box of her crap was tossed into Riley’s arms. “I want you to leave now,” Becket said, his voice lacking its usual steadiness.
Riley chuckled, his laugh sounding distant with a touch of menace. “She didn’t want to stay in the first place, dick.” He turned to her. “Let’s go.”
Her breathing was shaky as they took the elevator to the ground floor. She couldn’t stop staring at him. The man she just witnessed was Riley, but not the Riley she’d known since childhood.
Seeing this hard, protective side of him did strange things to her. Whatever effect Becket had on her girlie parts didn’t compare to what Riley’s act of authority just did.
“Do you wanna take a cab back to the loft to drop this stuff off? It’s sort of heavy.”
Licking her dry lips, she nodded. “Sure.”
She didn’t say a word the entire way home. Riley didn’t seem fazed by what happened. On the contrary, he appeared his ordinary self, commenting on his never-ending appetite and contemplating when he’d eat next.
Although it was still early and they had hours before he needed to be at work, Emma didn’t think spending the day together was in their best interest. Maybe they needed some space.
Things were a little claustrophobic and she needed some time to herself to get a grip on reality. The trick was coming up with a place to go that Riley would never follow.
“Once we drop this stuff off, wanna grab something to eat?” he asked as they neared the loft.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I have... an appointment.”
“You do?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
Crap. Just lie. Quick! “With my...gynecologist.”
He winced. “Oh. Okay.”
Content that he wouldn’t follow, she secretly breathed a sigh of relief. Now to figure out where she could go while at the imaginary gynecologist.
****
Emma didn’t return to the apartment until late afternoon. Riley might still be home, but she was getting tired of walking around and had consumed way too much coffee. As she turned the key in the apartment door, she braced for anything.
“Hello?”
Silence.
Relieved, she put her purse on the table by the door and collapsed on the couch. Her flip-flops dropped to the floor and she groaned.
Rarity wouldn’t be home for two more days and she’d eventually have to see Riley again. It was stupid to feel different about him. He was still the same guy she lived with last week. This new awareness was Rarity’s doing. If she hadn’t said anything—
The front door flung open. “Emma!”
Startled, she bolted upright. “Riley?”
A stampede of furry motion plowed through the entryway, knocking over chairs and bumping into bookshelves. Jolted into action, she sprang off the couch and landed in a Daniel-san pose, armed with a flappy flip-flop. “What’s happening?”
A flash of brown knocked into the coffee table, shoving it across the carpet, as a long, furry tail beat at her legs and a cold wet nose sexually assaulted her.
“We got a dog!” Riley proudly cheered, perching his hands on his hips like Peter Pan.
“Whose dog? Get away from my crotch!” The enormous, heat-breathing beast licked at her knees a mile a minute.
“She’s ours.”
Her eyes went wide. “Riley, we can’t have a dog.” Seriously, she was being licked to death. Carefully nudging the slobbery animal back she said, “Please stop doing that.”
Soft brown eyes looked at her as the dog panted and somehow smiled, long tongue drooping clumsily to the side. Don’t look at it or its cuteness will suck you in.
“Why not? There’s nothing in our lease about it, just an extra fee of twenty-five dollars a month. I’ll pay that. Look at her, Em. How could you turn her away?”
He dropped into the chair and the dog trotted to him, snuffling his chest until she was lapping at his chin with that big ham tongue. Her face twisted as she watched the slimy display of affection.
Riley praised the animal in a high-pitched voice she never heard him use before. “Oh, who’s the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world? You are! Yes, you are. Like a big, brown princess.”
“It’s a girl?” She didn’t have much of a feminine figure, sort of stumpy and fat.
He hugged the dog’s enormous head away from his face, but the thing kept pushing to lick his chin. “Well, I didn’t see any guns or roses, so I’m thinking she’s female.”
It looked purebred by its dark chocolate coat and Labrador build. Dogs like that didn’t just appear. “Where did you get her, Riley?”
“Funny story. I was grabbing a coffee on my way to work and she came out of nowhere and sat on my foot. So I gave her half my muffin—”
“You’ll share food with a dog, but not people?”
He shrugged. “I like dogs. Anyway, I gave her half my muffin and she followed me. I can’t take her to the inn, so I brought her here.”
“Well, she can’t stay here either.” They weren’t ready for a dog. They never had food in the fridge and barely kept a routine schedule. Dogs required love and time and care.
“I say she can.”
“You know how Rarity is about her things. Dogs chew and leave hair everywhere. She’d never agree to a dog.”
“Ah, but she’s not here right now. I just have to get you to agree and then Rarity will be outvoted. Come on, look at that punim.” He lifted the dog’s gigantic head. Its floppy jowls showing pink at her gums. Two brown persuasive eyes stared at her as that long tongue unraveled like a carpet.
“How could you not wuv her?”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake.”
Riley smiled. “Can we keep her?”
“For a very short trial period—”
“Yes!”
“—But if she misbehaves, she’s gone. And we’re putting up signs in case someone’s looking for her.”
“You won’t regret this.” He jumped up and surprised her with a hug, the heat and scent of his body overwhelming her.
“O—oh, okay, we’re hugging.”
“Thank you, Em.”
“You’re welcome. But Riley, she probably belongs to someone. We have to let people know we found her and keep an eye out for posters.”
“Maybe they didn’t want her anymore.”
She glanced at the adorable lab. How could anyone not want that beautiful creature? “Maybe.”
Pulling back, he grinned at her. “She might be hungry and she could probably use some water. I’ve been calling her Stimpy, as in ‘Ren and’. Here’s fifty dollars if you feel ambitious and want to take her to the pet store for supplies, but if not there’s ground beef in the freezer you can heat up—”
“Whoa! You’re leaving her here with me?”
He frowned. “I told you I can’t bring her to work.”
“What the hell, Riley? I didn’t sign up for dog sitting. What if I have plans?”
He pursed his lips. “Do you?”
“That’s not the point!”
“Please, Emma. She’s a good girl. Look at her.”
Turning, she watched as the oversized puppy licked the chair cushion. “She doesn’t seem too bright.” She was an adorable dog though. Sighing, she agreed, “Fine, but leave a hundred dollars. If I’m dog sitting you’re buying me dinner. And we’re not naming her Stimpy.”
“Stimpy’s a cool name.”
“Stimpy was the cat, Riley. No.”
“Fine.” He tossed another fifty on the table. “I gotta go. I’m already late.”
Turning, he placed a smooch on the dog’s head. “There’s my cute baby. Be a good girl,” he crooned. The dog’s tail flopped happily, drumming on the wood floor. Who didn’t love an idiot?
At the door Riley paused. “Oh, how was your girlie appointment? Everything okay with the old wizard’s sleeve?”
Everything inside of her stiffened as her eyes went wide. “Um...are you asking about my vagina?”
He, too, appeared rather surprised by the conversation shift. His feet crept closer to the door as his mouth turned down in a Robert De Niro grin. “Yes. Yes, I am. Is that a problem? We could talk about the general health of my penis if you want. It’s good, by the way. Strong.” He paused to flex. “Cat like reflexes—”
“Get out.”
“Yeah, I’m gonna go.” He edged into the hall. “We won’t mention the subject of your juice box again.”
Stone faced, she asked, “My what?”
His hand curled around the knob. “Penis...fly trap?” It was like he had some sort of Tourette’s.
“Stop talking now.”
“Bajingo?”
Even the dog was staring at him, judging him. “There’s something wrong with you.”
“The down stairs?”
She was done responding.
Easing out the door, he guessed, “The bunny tuft?” The door closed and he yelled, “The Pink Mink!”
She faced the dog and shook her head. “That’s your new owner. I won’t let him name you after an ugly cat, don’t worry.”
Her tongue lulled out and she panted, which Emma took as gratitude.
As it turned out, pet supplies were wildly expensive and addicting. Half the items in her bag were probably unnecessary, but didn’t Marla—that’s what she named her—need a matching pink, bedazzled collar to go with her bedazzled leash?
By the time they returned to the loft Emma was in love. Marla was an enormous cuddle bug, who thought she was the size of a kitten. It was like having an endless supply of affection available. With very little respect for personal boundaries, they immediately became close friends.
When Emma used the bathroom, Marla scratched at the door and barged in, squeezing into the small space so they could be together for all things. If Emma went to the kitchen to grab a drink, Marla followed.
It occurred to her that she should probably have some ground rules for the dog, like no climbing on furniture, but she was so at home Emma didn’t want to discourage her from settling in. Marla did prefer Rarity’s bed to all the others, though, and that was going to be a problem. She continuously shut the door to Rarity’s room, but Marla, being a solid eighty-pound chocolate lab, plowed right through that barrier.
They’d figure it out later. When Emma decided to call it a night, Marla was sprawled out on Rarity’s bed sound asleep. She smiled, thinking having a dog wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
Once washed up and changed into her pajamas, she climbed into bed and settled. Two seconds later the soft ticking of Marla’s nails on the wood floor followed and the enormous dog bounded into bed with her, rocking the mattress like a life raft in a typhoon.
Warm and soft, she curled into Emma’s side and let out a contented snuffle. Emma smiled. She hadn’t expected to love again so quickly, nor had she expected a dog to be the focus of her affection. If anything, Marla was loyal and that was something Emma could appreciate—something that deserved love.