Chapter 12

Randy

Wade is kicking ass at the Blackjack table, and Darrell is cleaning up with the slot machines. The alcohol is free here, so we’re all fucking sloshed, having such a wild time, in the city that never sleeps…literally. It’s got to be three or four o’clock in the morning, and it’s like rush hour in LA here. I have no idea where Corey or Gordon are, and Bobby is out of sight, too. Crimson fronted us all a couple hundred bucks a piece so we could do some gambling, and we saw a show, too. One of those fake Elvis deals. It was pretty good.

Darrell’s face is alight as I turn the corner and find her killing another machine. She keeps winning, funding my fun, too, and then I win, and it’s like an exchange. We’ve been on a streak for a while, and she’s on such a high it’s fun to watch. She’s had a little more champagne, but she’s too focused on fun, that she’s almost ignoring the waitresses that come around with free hooch. I notice that she’s watching me through the corner of her eye whenever one pops around the corner. She’s as cute as hell and I can’t help but wonder if she’s jealous. It’s so cute I can’t stand it. I almost want to check a chick out, just to see that look on her face again.

“How you doin’, babe?” I ask, taking the seat next to her, after taking a pit stop in the men’s room.

“Great. I just won again a minute ago. You missed it.” she smiles at me, and then she hands me a fistful of change, so I can play, too. We’re not keeping score or keeping track of who’s winning more. It’s just about fun.

“Let’s see if I can catch up.” I stuff the coin into the slot, pull the arm, and nothing.

She chuckles, watching me. There isn’t a line waiting for either of our machines, so she takes a break to observe my failure.

“You think you’re funny, do you?” I ask, pulling the arm again, feeling the beer go to my head. And just as the mechanisms inside roll over and over, they stop…on the jackpot. The whole thing starts beeping and buzzing, pouring coins out from the dispenser at lightning speed. Darrell grabs the bucket and the coins are filling it faster than she can hold it up. I grab another one off the side of the machine and take over when her bucket is full.

“Good God, Randy!” she chuckles loudly. “Look how much you won!”

“I know! I know! Damn, I should go for a piss more often!” I laugh out loud as the thing continues to shoot out coins. We get to six buckets and the thing finally quits.

“Holy shit! This must be like…at least a couple hundred bucks in here!”

Her face is so bright it’s contagious. She’s so happy for me. Technically, since we’ve been sharing all along, she probably thinks that this win is for both of us. “I’m not sharing this one.” I tease.

“No. God, no. Hell, I’ve only won like twenty, thirty bucks here and there, Randy. No, this is yours.” She insists, as if it’s the most ridiculous thing I could say, regardless of how much I was just joking.

Why, I don’t know, but suddenly I feel like she’s the only girl that ever existed. I place one bucket on the stool, the other one on the floor, and I can’t stop myself. My arms snake around her waist and I pull her close. Her eyes are searching mine as my nose is right up against hers. Whether I’m intoxicated or not, this woman is so loving, caring and soft, I can’t help but part my lips and kiss her on the mouth. Her lips are tentative at first, as though unsure, and I pull back, after realizing that I’m making a mistake. “I’m sorry.” I say to her face, as I gently push her from my body. “I…I’m so drunk…and stupid, don’t forget stupid.”

“I...it’s okay, Randy.” She says, touching her lips. “You’ve had a rough week.”

I sigh and rake a hand through my hair. “Fuck, I can’t go down this path, man.”

“Go down what path?”

“The other night, I…um…I almost,” I stammer, gesturing with my hand, unable to connect with her eyes. “I almost…slept with a groupie. Corey put her up to me, you know, and I almost went through with it.”

“What stopped you?”

“The same things that’s stopping me now.” I say honestly. “I can’t just fuck girls to get over my wife, you know. Especially you. I can’t do that to you.”

“I wouldn’t have let it happen, Randy. You’ve had a lot to drink, and your head isn’t on right. But I’m glad that you didn’t sleep with the groupie. It only makes things worse.”

“Wade was horsing around, saying that if I get it out of my system, that I’ll feel better.” Another sigh. “Shit, I…fuck, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but me and Emily…we haven’t slept together in months.”

“Why not?”

I shrug. “Well, I know now that it’s because she was fucking Jeff, but before, I just thought that she was tired from rehearsals and shootings and stuff. Plus, I was busy, too. Life just gets busy sometimes.”

“You were only married for two years, Randy. Jesus, you guys should have at least still been a little bit in the honeymoon phase.”

“We were together a long time. I don’t think that counts.” I lift a hand. “And see? This is what I’m talking about. I’m stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, Randy. You trusted her.” she says, sitting back down on the stool. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Well, there’s something wrong with me.” I point out. “I’m bound and determined to fuck things up. I’m scared I’m going to go fucking around, get some chick pregnant, and end up in a whole other can of worms. At least when I was married, I stayed straight, you know.”

“You can stay straight, Randy. You don’t have to have a ring on your finger to do that. You have a brain in there.” she says fairly.

My ring is still on my finger. I tried taking it off earlier in the week, but it felt weird. I put it back on after five minutes. I look at my finger and twist the ring around on it. “Being married kept me straight.”

“Fear kept you straight.” She points out. “Fear will continue to keep you straight. That’s what stopped you just now, isn’t it?”

I look at her with my eyes, but I don’t shift my chin up. “Yeah. I know it’s going to sound corny, but you’re the last person I want to fuck things up with.”

“Or you’ll be out a dog sitter.” She says, half joking.

I look at her and a small smile forms on my face. “You’re more than that, babe.”

“Besides, he loves me, too. So, good luck getting him to choose.” She smirks.

My smirk matches hers. “Trying to steal my dog?”

“I already stole him.” she teases.

I stare at the floor. “I’m really sorry about the kiss. Can we forget about it?”

“What kiss?”

I rise and take her in my arms, drawing in a deep breath. Then I kiss her cheek. “There. I kissed you again. This time properly.” I give her another loud, playful kiss and she giggles. “Come on. Let’s go cash in this money so I can afford to pay Wade rent.”

 

***

 

The bus’s movement is making her just about fall off her bunk, so I walk over and sit next to her, acting as a barrier. I can’t sleep for shit. It’s too close to dawn, and I know I have to go to the house and pick up all my stuff, and the thought of going in there is making me nuts. It’s stupid, but I’ve been sitting on the seat next to Darrell’s bunk, watching her fucking sleep, like a goddamn stalker. What’s also stupid, is watching her has kind of the same effect on me as watching the colored fish in our fish tank did when I was a kid. It’s relaxing. Soothing. She sleeps like a little baby. All curled up in the fetal position. Not a peep out of her. Not a movement. I actually have to put my finger up to her nose to make sure that she’s breathing.

The guys are all passed out, tanked to the gills. Frank is one with the road, man. He’s my hero. The guy can go without sleep all night and not even blink. As I sit next to Darrell, a lock of hair falls onto her face, and I brush it away. She stirs a little and opens her eyes for a second. I’m not sure if she sees me, but I smile a little, and she closes her eyes again. I don’t move. It feels like my ass is cemented to this spot, and my eyes are locked on her. Until, finally, my eyelids get heavy, and I lean my chin on my hand, trying like hell to stay upright.

“Randy?” she says softly, sleepily. “You’re so tired. Why don’t you try to get some sleep?”

I open my eyes just enough to answer her. “I can’t sleep.”

She shuffles back and pulls my arm towards her, so I’m forced to lay next to her, with my back facing her front. As I lay my head down, she starts combing her fingers through the hair at my temple, and it feels so goddamn good I can’t keep my eyes open. When I wake up, hours later, her arm is draped over me, and her body is pressed up against mine from behind me. I can feel her breath on my neck. Her hand lays limp, and I look at it, and take it in mine, cradling it under me, across my belly, and find myself asleep again in no time. I awake on my back, and Darrell’s head rests on my chest. My arm is across her body, and hers is across mine, and I wonder just how much of a mistake it was, me kissing her last night.

A deep breath comes from her as she stretches, lifting her head, looking around, as if she’s forgotten where she is. “Good morning.” I murmur to her.

She looks at me with her morning hair, all disheveled, and god is she adorable. “Morning.” She says with a gravelly voice that is equally adorable. “We didn’t…?” she trails off, and checks herself, making sure that she isn’t naked.

“No.” I chuckle. “That would be impossible, seeing as we’re both fully clothed.” She gives me a cheeky little look, kind of shy. I chuckle again. “What?”

“I just…” she smiles but she can’t look at me. “I think that if we did sleep together, that I’m certain I would remember.”

“Oh yeah?” I slide a finger down her cheek. “You think you’d remember, huh.”

She looks directly at me, but only for a split second, and nods. “Oh yeah.”

Wow.

“Pretty sure I’d remember, too.” I murmur, after a beat, as I caress her chin. There’s that shy little smile again, but she can’t look at me. I guffaw. “God, you’re so adorable it kills me. Come here.” I pull her to my chest again. She snuggles in. I kiss the top of her head. We stay that way until Frank says that we’re almost home.

 

***

 

“You want me to come with you?” Darrell offers, as Frank arranges to drop us off where we want to go. “I don’t mind giving you a hand at the house.”

“Yeah, I’ll go grab my car and come back, so I can help you load up, man.” Wade adds.

“You need us to come, too?” Corey asks.

“I really don’t have that much stuff, guys.” I explain. “Most of the shit is Emily’s. It was her house, remember? I’ve got my clothes, but most of my equipment went on tour with us, aside from a few amps and some speakers, and one of my older guitars.” I look at Darrell. “You can come if you want and grab more of Carter’s stuff. He’s got some toys in a box in the basement.”

“Sure.” She nods.

“Hey, you sure you don’t mind me crashing at your place, man?” I ask Wade.

“Not at all. We’re only home for like twelve hours, and then we’re at the recording studio, man. And then we’re back on the road.” Wade clarifies.

I nod. “Okay.”

As we pull up to the house, Wade gestures with his chin at my car. “What are you going to do with that?”

“I told you, man. Everything is hers. She literally bought me everything. By rights, I shouldn’t even be taking my clothes, but they aren’t worth shit, anyway. I’m leaving my car here. Keys, too. I don’t want any of her shit anymore. Besides, my car’s a piece of shit, man. Like my wife, it’s not worth keeping.”

“Wicked burn.” Corey growls.

“It’s the truth.” I say as I hop out of the bus, and then I address Frank. “Thanks, man. I’ll see you in a couple of days?”

He tips his head at me as Wade hands me my bag that I forgot in the bus, and he gives Darrell the once over as she exits behind me, paying special attention to her ass. I glare at him and he gives me a ‘what the fuck is your problem?’ look. I roll my eyes, shaking my head, and Darrell is none the wiser, as we stand there, watching the door close. “You ready?” Darrell says, trying for nonchalant.

I look up and see that Emily’s car isn’t here. “Well, at least the house is empty. I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Will Wade come and get us, or should I give Kristina a call?”

“He’ll be here after Frank drops him off.”

She nods as I fish my keys out of my bag, and she follows me to the front door. When I open it, I’m relieved to see that everything is just how I left it. “Fuck, it’s weird.”

“Is it that bad?” she asks tentatively.

“No, I mean without Carter coming to jump on me and give me a tongue bath. It’s too weird.”

“Well, the good news is that he’s only about ten minutes away.” She smiles.

“I miss the hell out of the little guy.”

Another smile. “Do you have a plan for all your stuff? Fill up some garbage bags or do you have more bags like that?” she asks, pointing to the duffel that I set on the kitchen table.

I draw in a deep breath. “I have no idea.”

She sets her bag down and begins looking through the kitchen cupboards, until she finds a box of green garbage bags, while I walk around, looking for stuff that belongs to me. We head upstairs, and start packing, when the phone rings. I let it go to the answering machine and screen it, in case it’s Emily. When I hear Wade’s voice on the other end, I pick up. “Yeah.”

“Pussy.” He chuckles. “I knew you’d screen.”

“Fuckoff. What do you want?”

“You need bags and shit? Or do you own a suitcase?”

“Na, the suitcases are hers. Bring some bags. Thanks.” I say and hang up.

A half hour later, there are four bags of my clothes, an old guitar, and one bag of childhood memorabilia. As I stand by her dresser, something is poking at my psyche. “Do you have everything, man?” Wade asks.

“Just one thing’s missing.” I say, staring at the gold band around my left ring finger.

Wade’s gaze catches mine. “I’m surprised you didn’t rip that fucker off already.”

“Couldn’t. But technically it’s hers. She paid for it.” I explain as I pull it off. Darrell’s using the washroom, so she can’t hear us. “She can choke on the fucking thing if she wants.” I look at it one last time, and then set it on her dresser. “Okay.” I clap my hands, shaking it off. “Let’s go get my boy his toys in the basement, and I’ll check my car to see what else I left.”

“Sounds like a plan, man.” Wade says, high-fiving me.

 

***

 

“Buddy!” I shout, as Carter runs towards, me, pissing the whole way. Kristina is right behind him with a towel, laughing, so that’s a good sign. Thankfully, he finishes by the time he gets to me, and I bend down to him, while he topples me over, licking my face. I scratch his scruff with both hands, letting him trample me, and then he sees Darrell, and tramples her, too.

“Baby!” Darrell says, and it’s like we’re fighting over his affections, and he’s loving it. Kristina is soaking up the trail of pee, smiling at the three of us.

“I hope he’s not too much of a mess, Kris.” I comment, when he finally wears himself out and decides to sit in Darrell’s lap.

“You know what? He’s a doll. The little guy has converted me.” Kristina beams.

“No shit?” I ask as Darrell hugs Carter close. Wade takes a turn tousling Carter’s head, and I can’t help but notice that he tries to stare down Darrell’s shirt, and I smack him across the thigh for it. He just laughs at me, knowing that he’s getting under my skin.

“Hey, I have a stack of houses to show you, Randy.” Kristina says. “Maybe you can tell me what you’re looking for, and we can narrow it down.”

“Got any for free?” I joke.

“Didn’t your record company give you money?” she asks.

“Not yet, no. But…that’s also because I haven’t asked.”

“Oh.” She nods. “Well, okay.”

“I’ll be on tour for at least the next three months anyway, so it’s a little early.” I explain.

She raises a hand kindly. “Oh, that’s okay. Maybe just tell me what you’re thinking of getting, and I’ll set some info aside for you for the next time that you’re home.”

“That’s fair enough.” I say. “Thanks. Hey, seriously, Carter’s not being a pain in the ass, is he?”

“No, not at all. He’s been keeping me company, actually.”

“And you don’t mind his bladder issue? He’s not pissing on anything, is he?”

“No, it’s actually my fault. I got busy on a call this morning, and then I had to head out for a while and just got back. I was just about to let him out when you guys arrived.” She admits. “He’s been really good. No accidents at all.”

“Oh, really?” I pat him on the back, but he’s too interested in Darrell nuzzling him, to care. “Good boy, Carter.”

She looks at me, snuggling him close. Our eyes lock for a moment, and I slide my finger down her cheek, taking the sight of them in. The love between these two warms me up. I’m so glad that he’s going to stay with Darrell while I’m away. I couldn’t find a better sitter for him if I paid a million dollars for one. “He’s so spoiled.”

“He deserves it. Such a good boy.” Darrell says, and then she kisses his muzzle, and he licks her face. I don’t know who loves whom more.

“I got some fur on my muzzle, too, man. Do I get a kiss?” Wade jibes, bending forward, as though she would kiss him.

Darrell, being the sport that she is, leans up and kisses his cheek, surprising both me and Wade. “Aw, thanks, sweetheart.” Wade says, and the love is so thick in the air, I feel like we’re going to break into song.

“O…kay. If things get any sweeter in here, I’m going to get a cavity.” I say, getting up off the floor.

“You guys have fun last night?” Kristina asks. “I’m sorry I missed the show.”

“We had a great time.” Darrell volunteers. “And then we kicked ass at the slot machines in Vegas after.”

“Oh, man!” Kristina growls. “My stupid fucking job!”

Darrell laughs.

“And then these two slept together.” Wade chimes in.

Darrell’s eyes bulge.

Kristina’s gaze darts to her sister as her jaw drops.

My head is in my hand. “How the fuck would you know, man? You were stone cold passed out.”

“I saw you two all cuddled up on the bunk together when I got up to take a piss.”

Darrell is stunned. She’s still staring at Wade.

“Tell me it isn’t true.” He blurts.

Kristina’s face turns from shocked to impressed. “Way to go, Dar!”

I lift my head and look directly at Kristina. “Look, we slept in the same bed…by accident. Nothing…happened.”

Kristina points at Wade. “I like his story better.”

Darrell glares at Kristina. “Fuckoff.”

That’s the first time I ever heard her ‘f’ bomb. I can’t help but laugh.

“He was falling asleep sitting on my bunk.” She explains to Kristina. “Like you, he’s stubborn as hell when he wants to sleep, so I…made him sleep.” she gestures with her hand, as though she doesn’t know how else to put an innocent spin on it.

Wade grins, satisfied. “Woohoo!”

“That’s not what she means, asshole.” I growl. “And since when is it any of your business, anyway? Sure, we slept in the same bed, fully clothed I’ll add, for a couple of hours. That’s it.”

Kristina raises a brow. “Hot.”

“Look, I’m not looking for anything right now, okay?” I add, exasperated. And I walk away, taking the soaked towel from Kristina, as I feel bad that she’s standing there, holding on to my dog’s piss.

Wade adds in as I walk away. “Then…um…dude, why’d you take your wedding band off?”