When Jan regained his composure, he immediately felt concerned that he had scared off the American rabbi.
“I’m sorry, it’s just the memories, the pain. It’s still there.”
“Please don’t apologize. Don’t ever apologize. I am so sorry that you have these horrible memories. We are here to help you and to take care of you,” Rabbi Groh said. “Natalia was quite helpful in trying to explain to me what nights are like for you. She really helped me understand how scary and difficult each night is after what all of you have experienced,” Rabbi Groh explained.
“I know this is something you can never understand. And I’m glad for that. I’m glad you weren’t there and didn’t see what we saw. And I appreciate that you are here now. I am thankful for anyone who is helping me get to Palestine,” Jan said in earnest.
Sam nodded and smiled at Jan. For the first time, he felt the warmth he exuded towards Jan was being reciprocated.
Jan thanked him again and said, “Natalia told me how helpful and kind you were to me last night. You know, I wasn’t sure about you, but the truth is I am glad you are here. And I am glad that you are coming to Palestine with us.”
“Thank you, Jan. It has always been a dream of mine to visit Palestine.”
“Visit, what do you mean?” Jan asked.
“Well, I have been studying about it all my life. It will be amazing to see the land of our ancestors with my own eyes.”
“And to make our home there. To build a country for the Jewish people. Finally, we will have a land of our own,” Jan said proudly.
“Yes, we will. And I will always be one of its strongest supporters.”
“I see,” Jan said with a look of dismay. “You are here to help us because you care about the Jewish people, but you are planning to go back to your home in America when this voyage is over.”
“Yes, Jan. I love our people very much. But there are Jews in America, and I am the rabbi for a community there.”
“America is a nice place to live for Jews?” Jan asked.
“Yes, sure. I mean of course we have our anti-Semites and many problems with racism, but compared to Europe, we Jews have it very good there.”
“Well, I am happy to hear this, Rabbi. But you know, we will need rabbis in Palestine too. Maybe one day you will change your mind and come help us build a home for our people. In the meantime, I am grateful for what you did for me last night.”
“Thank you, Jan. Your words mean the world to me.”
Rabbi Groh extended his hand, and Jan shook it with appreciation. Walking away, the rabbi was thankful that he’d contributed on this mission. But for the rest of the day, Jan’s words replayed repeatedly in his mind. “We are building a home for our people. We will need rabbis in Palestine too.” Rabbi Groh wondered if the real story of his people was playing out before his eyes in Palestine. This feeling pursued him the rest of the day. Was he missing a chance to play a role in the unfolding of Jewish history by not joining the burgeoning community in Palestine? It had never even entered his mind until now, but was his future wrapped up in the destiny of the Jewish community in Palestine? Or was anything other than a return to Miami an unrealistic fantasy? The answer was not clear. But what was certain was that Jan’s sentiments would not soon leave the rabbi’s thoughts.