The second day aboard the Maharhash was not much different than the first. Rabbi Groh had some interesting and emotional conversations with some of the survivors. There were plenty who appeared perfectly fit of mind, and some of them were interested in talking with the rabbi. They told him where they came from and what their homes were like before the war. One asked about God, and if the rabbi still believed that God existed. Another asked the rabbi question after question about kibbutz life, and where they were headed in Palestine. He didn’t mind that the rabbi had no good answers for him. He just continued with one question after another.
Each conversation was a gift for Rabbi Groh. He was delighted that he was making a difference. He felt like a rabbi again, and not just a member of the staff. He was a gifted listener, and the survivors appreciated his sensitive and caring presence. Walking around the ship, Rabbi Groh was beginning to feel at home amongst the passengers and the crew. Any personal doubt as to whether he could connect with the survivors was fading. He could connect. He could help them, and they were responding to him. This brought Rabbi Groh tremendous satisfaction, and he continued to seek out anyone who was interested in engaging him in conversation.
As the sun was beginning to set on another day at sea, the rabbi found Natalia sitting alone, staring peacefully out of a porthole window.
“May I join you?” the rabbi offered.
Natalia smiled and nodded her head. “How are you, Rabbi?” she said.
“I am fine, thank you, Natalia. Speaking with the people here has been a very powerful experience for me,” Rabbi Groh answered.
“Yes, I am sure. We have all been through so much. I have not been able to speak to anyone. Well, other than Jan. But beside him I find it hard to have real conversations.”
“Well, you sound perfectly capable to me,” the rabbi said, hoping to make Natalia feel better.
“Maybe I trust you. I was so happy that you were able to help Jan. He was struggling so much, and you gave him peace.”
“Thank you, Natalia. I really appreciate that. I was speaking to Jan earlier today, and that conversation has really stuck with me all day.”
“How come?”
“Well, he was surprised to learn that I was not moving to Palestine permanently.”
“That bothered you?”
“It caught me off-guard. He said that they will need rabbis in Palestine too.”
“We will for sure. But I imagine you have a home in America, and they need you there too.”
“I would like to think so, but now I am not sure. Maybe Palestine is where all Jews are needed. If my life is dedicated to serving our people, which I like to think it is, maybe I should be joining you all in building this new homeland.”
Natalia could see that the rabbi was struggling, and she sympathized with him. For her the issue was simpler, and she stated it in a way that made good sense to Rabbi Groh. “Nobody should ever be uprooted from their homes and everything they know. But it looks like the world doesn’t care what is supposed to be when it comes to us.”
Rabbi Groh wasn’t sure if she was including him in her comment, but the question racing in his mind was clear. Did he consider himself one of them or not? And if he didn’t, then why was he there in the first place?