“THIS MUST HAVE BEEN a bitch to get through customs.” I hefted the sword, letting the remains of the wrapper float down to the sand. “Have the priests of your temple kept watch on this for thousands of years?” My eyes widened. “Like the Lady of the Lake did for Excalibur?”
“What nonsense,” Ram scoffed. “The blade was manufactured in Taiwan. The rubies are Burmese. The handle is of my own design,” he added proudly. “A swordsmith in Bowbazaar did the assembling.” He patted the sides of his robe. “I have the bill here somewhere. If you can just repay…”
Tuning him out, I raised the sword above my head and brought it down in a slow, measured sweep. I’d never held anything in my hand that felt more natural.
Despite what an ex-boyfriend had to say.
“This is so fab, Ram! I feel like Duncan in Highlander.”
“You will practice as I meditate,” he said.
“Wait.” I lowered the sword to my side and squared off with him across the sand. “Two things. First, why doesn’t my Goddess Gaze work on everyone, and, two, why do I have to keep calling the Goddess Within? Why can’t I just stay in that state?”
“You tell me,” Ram said.
“You’re the expert.”
“And you are the goddess,” he countered. “Only what you choose to happen—”
“Yeah, yeah, happens, I know.”
“You do not. If you truly understood, there would be none of these questions. You believe your powers are temporary; therefore, they are. The essence of strength is belief.”
“What if I believe you should bow to me?”
“Do you truly believe I should?”
“No. I’m a Democrat.” I kicked at the sand. I was seriously gagging over all this metaphysical stuff. “None of it makes any sense. I mean technically, since I’m a god, shouldn’t I be all-powerful? Omniscient, omnipotent, and all the crap in between?”
“Once you fully accept your dharma, everything will make sense, there will be no more questions.”
“You know, Ram,” I said with a peevish look, “some people say life’s a journey. You can’t know everything.”
He waved his hand. “Buffalo dung. Life is a journey, but all we need to know is inside of us. Just believe. Now, call the Goddess Within.”
I did. Lightning instantly slashed across the sky.
Ram looked at me, impressed. “Very good. The sword you hold in your hands is a powerful weapon, blessed by the priests of my temple. It will serve you well.”
“You guys didn’t happen to bless any assault weapons or grenades did you? ’Cause those would definitely come in handy.”
“You must keep practicing. If you are destroyed, all hope for the world will be lost.” He stretched. “In the meantime I will meditate and enjoy this most beautiful ocean.” He went back to the rock, took off his wooden sandals, and seated himself in the classic yogic position, eyes closed.
Thirty minutes had passed, and Ram was still deep in a meditative trance.
There was definitely something about the sword. Just holding it made my blood quicken.
I could do amazing things with this sword.
I knew I could.
Socialites could keep their machine guns.
However, I was kind of getting bored with the practicing. I had thrust, parried, and swung to the best of my ability. It was actually a pretty good workout, better than Pilates. The goddess workout…hmm maybe I could put out my own exercise video like Jane Fonda? Just in case my video game idea didn’t take off.
Ram’s eyes were open. He was watching me.
I swung the sword around me in a neat semicircle. Yeah, I was showing off, but I felt six feet tall with the thing in my hand.
“Pretty awesome huh?” I grinned. Ram smiled. “Did you have a nice nap?”
“I did not sleep. I was meditating. But yes, I am refreshed.”
“So with this sword, am I all-powerful or what?” I asked.
“That is up to you.”
“Right.” I still thought Ram’s theory was wrong.
“We must leave.”
“Do you sense something?” I looked around. I didn’t feel any malevolence.
“My bowels have fully digested the food,” he said with dignity.
“Oh.” I put my arm around Ram as we walked back to the car. Suddenly I wanted to do something nice for him. “How about we pick up a case of Classic Coke on the way to Sanjay’s?”
His face broke out in a huge smile. “Just the thing I was meditating on.”