MY PARENTS OPTED to have dinner at Aunt Dimple’s.
I opted to drive away like a bat out of hell.
Then I opted for In & Out.
Sitting alone at the kitchen table, staring at a french fry, I pondered my possibilities.
I’d never planned for anything in my life, preferring to coast along and deal with things as they came. I’d never had any ambitions or dreams.
I wasn’t like my brother Samir, who would cuddle up between my parents on the sofa to watch open-heart surgery on the Discovery Channel. There was never any question he would be a doctor.
Big surprise, we weren’t the closest of siblings.
I felt lost and confused. I felt as though I’d made a mess of my life. I wished I’d studied harder so I could have gone to Harvard or bicycled through Cambridge.
You know, interesting shit like that.
Now I was supposed to look for a career, prove to my parents I could take care of myself, and all in thirty days?
Between sleeping and fighting evil, I had like two or three hours a day free.
I still couldn’t believe my parents were kicking me out. There was nothing I could do for now but go along and hope something would happen in the next thirty days to make them change their minds—something other than my unnatural and painful death of course.
If not, I’d just move in with Ram and Sanjay. They were the ones who got me into this mess.
I wasn’t even going to entertain the idea of asking Tahir if he needed a roomie—regardless of how rich with enticing possibilities that scenario might prove to be.
It was dark outside, and my fries were cold.
Was that a killer beginning to a depressing novel or what?
That night I woke up shivering.
Somehow I’d kicked off all the covers. Then I remembered the dream. I was in an advanced kickboxing class. Only instead of a punching bag, I was practicing on Nadia.
Reaching for the comforter, I heard the sound of the television. I peered at the digital alarm clock—3:00 A.M.
Slipping into my robe, I went downstairs. My mom was curled up on the couch watching CNN.
She looked tired. She looked older than her age. I felt my throat tightening.
She was awake because of me.
“Mom?” I said softly, walking toward her.
She didn’t answer.
I moved closer and laid a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Mom…about Tahir. Please don’t worry.” I struggled to think of the right words to put her at ease. “I’m going to make some changes. Not just because of what we talked about earlier…I’ve been looking at my life lately and believe me, I’ve been seeing things in a whole new light. Just don’t worry, okay?”
She didn’t turn around. “Go to sleep, Maya. It’s late.”
I removed my hand and stepped back.
She didn’t believe me.
I felt my heart drop.
The Asha Patels of the world could take control of their lives, but not the Maya Mehras. Women like me had only one hope, marriage. We weren’t smart enough or strong enough to make it on our own.
I could see where she was coming from. My parents were getting older. She was afraid. Afraid of what would happen to me after they were gone. Who would take care of me? In her heart she truly felt I could not take care of myself.
I understood it. But her lack of faith hurt.
Hurt me in ways malevolence never could.
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to convince her.
Then, silent and weightless, Ram’s words floated to the surface of my mind. Kali is bound with the terrifying, and she is unafraid.
Kali was part of me, too.
It was time to face my biggest fear.
It was time to grow up.
I would show my parents. I would show myself.
Can you imagine Maya Mehra doing that?
Damn straight!
Quietly, I left the room.